I met someone online

[Anonymous]

He saw my pics, but they were just face pics. I am a bit overweight ( 20 lbs that i need to lose). We are going to meet in a few days, i am scared, I really like him, but feel like he would totally be turned off by my body, I hate the way i look right now. I am thinking about canceling with some BS reason, or just going with it but he will probably stop talking to me afterwards even though we talk almost daily now. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

You do not like him. You like the idea of him and the experience of liking him.

I'd go. You can't do the online thing without meeting in person.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Why not send him a full body pic?

[Anonymous]

you don't want to date a guy that is turned off by 20 lbs. eat well and try to lose a couple in the next few days, just to boost your confidence. get your hair cut and buy a flattering outfit. just go, try to not think about your weight. 20 lbs is not a lot at all, carry yourself with confidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do not like him. You like the idea of him and the experience of liking him.

I'd go. You can't do the online thing without meeting in person.

Good luck.

What do you mean? Yes I do like him, at least from what I know of him from our conversations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not send him a full body pic?

I don't know, he never asked, and it would be weird to just start sending pics now

[Anonymous]

Go. Wear a flattering outfit, maybe jeans that fit well with a loose (but nice) top or a dress that falls on you well. No reason to skip.

I was in exactly this position 5 months ago ( I had body pics up, but I think I'm a bit heavier now) and I'm still with him today.

Be confident, have fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you don't want to date a guy that is turned off by 20 lbs. eat well and try to lose a couple in the next few days, just to boost your confidence. get your hair cut and buy a flattering outfit. just go, try to not think about your weight. 20 lbs is not a lot at all, carry yourself with confidence.

Thank you, i am trying to gain confidence but know I can't lose these 20 lbs in a few days ( we are meeting in 3 days) but i wanna start eating healthy and working out because I need to, i JUST Hate the timing I guess, to meet someone that you really like when you have 20 lbs to lose

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go. Wear a flattering outfit, maybe jeans that fit well with a loose (but nice) top or a dress that falls on you well. No reason to skip.

I was in exactly this position 5 months ago ( I had body pics up, but I think I'm a bit heavier now) and I'm still with him today.

Be confident, have fun!

Thank you. He wants to do dinner + drinks. What do you think would be more appropriate to wear for a 1st meeting? Jeans or a dress?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do not like him. You like the idea of him and the experience of liking him.

I'd go. You can't do the online thing without meeting in person.

Good luck.

What do you mean? Yes I do like him, at least from what I know of him from our conversations

I think she means that you think you like him, but it's really hard to get a true sense of someone until you meet them.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean? Yes I do like him, at least from what I know of him from our conversations

Not the PP, but this is the key thing. We evolved to evaluate people in person. When we meet under circumstances that remove the availability of some of that data (email, phone, videochat) our brains fill it in subconsciously, and frequently what gets filled in is what we want.

I'm not saying you won't like him, I'm just saying the him you like isn't completely him - part of it is your own imagination. That's one of the big risks of online relationships (and I say this as someone who met and married someone via online).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you don't want to date a guy that is turned off by 20 lbs. eat well and try to lose a couple in the next few days, just to boost your confidence. get your hair cut and buy a flattering outfit. just go, try to not think about your weight. 20 lbs is not a lot at all, carry yourself with confidence.

This is very true. Someone who would be turned off by 20lb will forever be critical of everything you eat and how much you exercise.

Go, wear your best outfit and own your body. Confidence is key

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He saw my pics, but they were just face pics. I am a bit overweight ( 20 lbs that i need to lose). We are going to meet in a few days, i am scared, I really like him, but feel like he would totally be turned off by my body, I hate the way i look right now. I am thinking about canceling with some BS reason, or just going with it but he will probably stop talking to me afterwards even though we talk almost daily now. What should I do?

You want to know something? 98% of us are not models. And in fact, even supermodels have parts of themselves that they do not like. As a guy, I can tell you that my friends and I have never turned down getting to know more about a woman because she was 20 lbs. overweight as long as she dressed well and carried herself as a confident person. We are more interested in, are you nice? intelligent? easy to talk to? laugh at our bad jokes once in a while, etc.

[Anonymous]

Well if you cancel he definitely won't like you because he won't get to meet you!

Go. What do you have to lose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go. Wear a flattering outfit, maybe jeans that fit well with a loose (but nice) top or a dress that falls on you well. No reason to skip.

I was in exactly this position 5 months ago ( I had body pics up, but I think I'm a bit heavier now) and I'm still with him today.

Be confident, have fun!

Thank you. He wants to do dinner + drinks. What do you think would be more appropriate to wear for a 1st meeting? Jeans or a dress?

PP here. I really think either is fine. I wore a dress on my first date, but it was still warm (beginning of fall). I think you should wear something flattering but that you are comfortable in. You don't want to be worrying about a dress flying up, length, anything like that.