Father intruding on babysitter's time with kids right now. What to do?
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Anonymous
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The father was given the opportunity to have extra time with the kids and blew it off. He is on a solid Sunday 9am-6pm visitation schedule, which he also frequently blows off. The poor babysitter just texted me that a man claiming to be the kids' Dad just sat down with them while they were having lunch. Since my children seemed to recognize him she didn't panic, but when she basically told him that she had them for the time being, would he please leave and stop disrupting their plans today. He didn't say a word and continued to sit with them. This convinced me that it's him. She told him that if he had any issue with the situation, he should call me. 1) He's intimidating. He's a big guy and refusing to speak or listen to her, she's pretty freaked out. 2) She's a new-ish babysitter and I'm afraid of losing her because of this. WHAT DO I DO? |
Anonymous
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I have full physical custody. He's been barred from one of our children's schools because of aggressive behavior, and I had to call the police on him once, when he refused to leave my house. |
Anonymous
| Tell her to go to the manager of the store and have him call the police. |
Anonymous
| Where are they? Out in public? She should call 911. |
Anonymous
| Poor babysitter. |
Anonymous
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Where are you and where is the babysitter?
Tell her to leave, if he follows call 911 |
Anonymous
| She doesn't know if he is the father. If he is not speaking to you or her, she should take the kids and leave. If he follows, call 911. |
Anonymous
| You haven't shown her his picture? If he is not the father, she should definitely call 911. |
Anonymous
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OP,
Please update us. If it is the children's father, all this fuss is really extreme. Calling the police? That would be great for the children! Also, where does the sitter get the notion that it's "her" time with them? Why would she ask him to leave? I find this scenario odd. |
Anonymous
| Seems pretty clear. She works for the mother. The mother has an agreement with the father. The father is not respecting the agreement. |
Anonymous
| "Seemed to recognize him" -- did they say hi dad? Can you text babysitter a picture of dad ASAP? Can the man at the table get on the phone with you to confirm it's him? Sorry you're dealing with this stress, OP, when you are likely working and can't get over there quickly to assess the situation yourself. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| Technically, if he has visitation on Sunday and it's Sunday (did this happen last week?) then he can visit. If you restrict him, you could get in trouble with court. |
Anonymous
Reread your post. Why did you offer the extra time (today?). Did you tell him where they would be? Where are you? Why are they with a sitter? Are you a survivor of DV? This was not a safe plan, in the future you should never tell him of the children's whereabouts. |
Anonymous
It's Saturday. |
Anonymous
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this is a weird post.
Your title makes it sound like your issue with this is that the kids dad is intruding on their time with the babysitter? that doesn't make sense. the kids don't need quality uninterrupted time with the babysitter. Secondly, they SEEMED to recognize him? What does that mean - are they too young to be verbal but they waved or acted like he was familiar? Are they out somewhere or are they at home? Are there any concerns about violence? |