In laws sent one of our two children a valentines gift

[Anonymous]

ILs sent a bouquet of roses to our DD. We have two preschoolers - boy and girl. This is the second yr they have done something die coal for her alone on V day. It makes me uncomfortable and I ache a little for my little boy - I know it makes no difference now, but man, what a crappy way to treat a grand kid.

[Anonymous]

** something SPECIAL for her

[Anonymous]

I

[Anonymous]

Roses for a preschooler?
That's even stranger than a gift for only 1 child.

[Anonymous]

Throw the card out and tell the kids that the grand-parents sent it for whichever parent is their child, or throw them away completely.

Tell the grandparents that they have to treat both kids equally. Give them both something or give them both nothing.

No arguments and no exceptions.

[Anonymous]

What kind of dolt only sends one grandchild a present? Are your in-laws always this stuhrowipid?

Agree with throwing the card out and pretending the flowers are for both kids.

[Anonymous]

I think in most families you would find that it is the woman who got the flowers. Giving flowers and gifts to females on Valentines day is far more common than giving gifts to men.

I am sure if you did a poll of women and men and asked what they got for Valentines Day you would have far more women saying they received a gift/flowers then men.

I am saying it is fair but more just that their intentions may not be to be unequal and that rather they see valentines day as a day when females get gifts/flowers.

Do you see this inequality on other holidays as well? Do they overall treat your daughter differently? If it is just Valentines then it is likely just how they perceive the holiday

[Anonymous]

I was at a restaurant that only handed out single roses to the females, women and girls. Boys and men weren't given anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Roses for a preschooler?
That's even stranger than a gift for only 1 child.

+1

[Anonymous]

I'd laugh it off. Grandparents do weird shit. It makes for a good story.

[Anonymous]

It's bc she's a girl, but that doesn't make it right. OPs son will feel bad. In school and at home it's not a gendered holiday, so he will not understand why his grandparents ignore him on Valentine's Day.

[Anonymous]

I am sure they are trying to do something special because she is the female and they view it as a female holiday. I would find it strange and upsetting. Could your husband talk to them?

[Anonymous]

You ache for your boy? Melodramatic much? iLs are dolts but get over it; buy a little gift for your son and forget about it. Everyone will survive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was at a restaurant that only handed out single roses to the females, women and girls. Boys and men weren't given anything.

+1000

[Anonymous]

I would toss the card and split the flowers. And I would have your DH mention that they need to be considerate of both children in the future.