Do you judge other women’s engagement rings?

[Anonymous]

I don't think about it much, but I appreciate the rings that are unique in some way. Generally not a diamond or with non-diamond accents. I tend to think more favorably of those off the beaten track than the diamond solitaires whether they're 1 carat or 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge people who judge, I guess. I once had a 13 year old 9th grader mock the size of my ring, telling me my husband must not love me. So there’s that. I suppose I think those who judge rings are juvenile.

For those of you with big showy diamonds: Many people don’t notice or care. If you’re trying to make some impression, just know that plenty of people never look.

A child noticed.
Many people notice.

I’d love to tell that child that the conversation will go into his college recommendation letter and see the priceless reaction.

Wow, an old person threatening to destroy a child's future because her broke a** husband couldn't do better. Bravo! We are so scared and impressed now. Btw, nobody cares about the recommendation letter, it's all about the class rank, activities, and donations.

I’m the teacher PP and not the person suggesting the student’s silly comment should go in a recommendation letter.

I didn’t CARE that the child said that. He was a CHILD with immature notions, like the idea a ring’s size and anything to do with a husband’s love.

There are adults on this thread who have posted that very idea. My conclusion is those are equally juvenile thoughts.

[Anonymous]

All my friends with the biggest rings were the last to get married and have families in mid to late 30s. So that’s what I think of when I see big rings. I got engaged to my college sweetheart when I was 23 when we were dirt poor in law school and my ring shows it, ha. I don’t care bc I can wear it everyday. I know so many women with big diamonds that only wear for special occasions, and wear only their bands.

[Anonymous]

This thread is classic dcum. I don’t judge unless it’s big! Then u judge endlessly. Mine is huge. Original was stolen. Years later DH makes a lot of $, and I wanted a bigger one. It’s not a lab. I don’t care what anyone thinks of it, I love.

[Anonymous]

I don’t notice. I do judge your spouse if you aren’t happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is classic dcum. I don’t judge unless it’s big! Then u judge endlessly. Mine is huge. Original was stolen. Years later DH makes a lot of $, and I wanted a bigger one. It’s not a lab. I don’t care what anyone thinks of it, I love.

You do you, girl! But the very first post on this thread was someone judging a person with a small stone, so... you can't win. Too big, too small, diamond, not a diamond. Give me a break!

[Anonymous]

If it’s little, I assume they married young. If I’m really honest, I do judge when it’s a big but obviously yellow or included stone. But that shows my age- anyone married recently doesn’t have to choose between size and quality because lab stones are so reasonably priced.

[Anonymous]

Lab stones are so weird to me. I wouldn’t do it. They have no resale value - at least a real diamond has some and has actual market value. An engagement ring should be expensive. It means something. I want to be able to give my ring to my kids. I doubt they’d want some costume jewelry. It feels like buying a fake Chanel off canal street. Sure, they’re made in the same factory! They’re basically the same! But one is actually made by the earth naturally forever ago and one is made in a microwave. It seems so unromantic.

[Anonymous]

I did not want a huge diamond and instead chose a small flat diamond in a platinum setting. I get compliments. It has nothing to do with my husband of 25 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All my friends with the biggest rings were the last to get married and have families in mid to late 30s. So that’s what I think of when I see big rings. I got engaged to my college sweetheart when I was 23 when we were dirt poor in law school and my ring shows it, ha. I don’t care bc I can wear it everyday. I know so many women with big diamonds that only wear for special occasions, and wear only their bands.

I got married in my 30s and opted for a small ring for the same reason you like your ring from when you were 23. I didn't view my engagement ring as a showy jewelry item. I wanted it to fit in with other daily jewelry, like the delicate gold chain I wear with a small gold flower pendant, and my little gold hoops. I own and wear bigger, showier jewelry, but to me an engagement ring and wedding band are about having that reminder and carrying a little piece of my marriage with me whatever I do. I never worry about traveling with my ring or wearing it in bad neighborhoods or anything really.

I think for some people they think of it differently and like the showiness of a ring as a way to more loudly communicate their relationship status. Which is also fine. With lab stones, that look is now very accessible, which is great for everyone.

I do not think about or judge people for how expensive (or not) their ring looks. I have a small ring that was pretty pricy because we had the money and for me it was more about quality of materials and using a jeweler I really loved, but I am sure most people assume my ring was cheaper. It doesn't matter. The price of a ring is irrelevant to the commitment or love between the couple. That's a separate, practical matter that is none of my business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but if you do, you might be making wrong assumptions. A real 1 carat that was popular in the 90s cost more than the now popular 2 carat lab-created stone.

+1. Likely significantly more.

I don’t judge by size and rarely notice a ring unless it’s a unique stone or has a really eye catching (in a good or bad way) design. I do also tend to notice emeralds as I absolutely love a simple emerald solitaire ering.

+1

My engagement ring is a Tiffany’s solitaire, a bit over one carat. I did not care about having any certain kind of ring, I’m just not into diamonds and cannot tell one from a CZ. I wanted to kill my husband for spending the money.

My friend’s ring is twice the size and really eye catching but was significantly less expensive then my mine. Her ring is dazzling and eye catching, much more so than mine.

Name brand and quality can really change the cost calculation for those out here judging that size equals expense. Mine is very high quality and from a fancy/overpriced brand, and even for a 1 ct center stone cost 3x a friend’s 2.5 ct ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am familiar with a woman in her fifties who is repeatedly complimented on her diamond. It is a beautiful design and setting. People have asked her who the design is from, and she always answers that it (the ring) was in the family and she just altered it a bit. She owns a business, has satellites in three states, and most assuredly is wealthy. After 5 years of working for her, and after a couple of drinks, she confessed to two close confidantes, that her ring was glass. And it wasn't even an expensive fake- a cheap crystal in a low quality gold setting. It wasn't worth more than 20 bucks, if that much. Why? When she was married, 20 years prior, they had no money, so she bought this for herself from a street vendor as a joke with her fiance and just kept wearing it. She is now a multi millionaire, and can buy whatever she wants. She said she will never replace the ring, which has held up pretty well all these years because it just isn't worth it and she actually loves it.

She is one of the smarter women I know.

No $20 ring looks good after that much wear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lab stones are so weird to me. I wouldn’t do it. They have no resale value - at least a real diamond has some and has actual market value. An engagement ring should be expensive. It means something. I want to be able to give my ring to my kids. I doubt they’d want some costume jewelry. It feels like buying a fake Chanel off canal street. Sure, they’re made in the same factory! They’re basically the same! But one is actually made by the earth naturally forever ago and one is made in a microwave. It seems so unromantic.

Lab stones are real diamonds without the ethical issues.
Mined diamonds have horrible resale.

[Anonymous]

That’s because you put so much worth into materialism. You think your worth equals how big your rock is, but it’s actually the genuine simple rock girls that should feel sorry for you because of the disconnect you have with what really matters in a marriage.
coming from a gal with an 8ct)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All my friends with the biggest rings were the last to get married and have families in mid to late 30s. So that’s what I think of when I see big rings. I got engaged to my college sweetheart when I was 23 when we were dirt poor in law school and my ring shows it, ha. I don’t care bc I can wear it everyday. I know so many women with big diamonds that only wear for special occasions, and wear only their bands.

I got married in my 30s and opted for a small ring for the same reason you like your ring from when you were 23. I didn't view my engagement ring as a showy jewelry item. I wanted it to fit in with other daily jewelry, like the delicate gold chain I wear with a small gold flower pendant, and my little gold hoops. I own and wear bigger, showier jewelry, but to me an engagement ring and wedding band are about having that reminder and carrying a little piece of my marriage with me whatever I do. I never worry about traveling with my ring or wearing it in bad neighborhoods or anything really.

I think for some people they think of it differently and like the showiness of a ring as a way to more loudly communicate their relationship status. Which is also fine. With lab stones, that look is now very accessible, which is great for everyone.

I do not think about or judge people for how expensive (or not) their ring looks. I have a small ring that was pretty pricy because we had the money and for me it was more about quality of materials and using a jeweler I really loved, but I am sure most people assume my ring was cheaper. It doesn't matter. The price of a ring is irrelevant to the commitment or love between the couple. That's a separate, practical matter that is none of my business.

So most people I know that were able to afford a really obviously expensive ring also cared about quality and sentimental value. Again, unlike on dcum, this false dichotomy does not exist in the real world. Rich people are also very selective and careful. Crazy!