Framed photo of ILs, how to handle?

[Anonymous]

We received a box in the mail, opened it to find a framed Olan Mills style photo of my ILs. 5x7. My DH placed it on our otherwise empty sideboard in our living/dining space. It's the space where we are the most, can't even go into the kitchen or bedrooms without passing by this sideboard.

I don't like this picture, don't want to look at it, ever, let alone on a daily basis, also find it creepy. I didn't say anything, but I want to figure out how to get this into storage without hurting anyone's feelings. In fact I would like to store it in the trash. Alternately, I could learn to live with it. Remember those portraits in the Disney World haunted house elevator where the eyes followed you around? That's how I feel in the room with the photo. Also feel vaguely angry that it's in my house.

We have a small house, we have some photos around as well as paintings, no photos of my parents. Just photos of our kids.

[Anonymous]

Take it down for now but then put it up when the ILs visit. Done.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws sent us one of those. I put in inside our piano bench, underneath the sheet music, face-down.

When they're coming over I take it out and prop it on the piano. Win/win.

[Anonymous]

I'm worried it will offend my husband if it "goes away".

[Anonymous]

OP, why don't you just find a less high-traffic area, and put there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm worried it will offend my husband if it "goes away".

"Honey, will it offend you if I only put this out when your parents are visiting? It will? Okay. I'm going to re-locate it to an even better spot."
Then put it on his desk.

"Honey, will it offend you if I only put this out when your parents are visiting? Okay great."
Into the piano bench it goes.

[Anonymous]

I find it a bit odd that a married couple in their early 70s would book a studio photographer to take photos, then I guess send one to each child, and presumably keep one.

[Anonymous]

storage isn't possible, just find another place, maybe put a plant mostway in front of it. do you have a photo of them and your kid with your kid mostly in the photo, put that one obstructing it mostly. alternatively put up more photos there and have it blend in more.
you are going to have to suck this one up a bit. I hate my MIL, but these are your husband's parents. you have to just let it go a bit.

[Anonymous]

I find it a bit odd that a married couple in their early 70s would book a studio photographer to take photos, then I guess send one to each child, and presumably keep one.

I can think of a bunch of reasons someone might feel compelled to do this -- feeling like they aren't going to be around forever, wanted to have a picture around for their grandchildren to see and remember them, etc. It's possible (probable?) that this is an attempt by your in-laws to be more integrated into your daily life, particularly for your children. In that case, I'd be inclined to welcome it, since surely it's better than daily phone calls or visits!

In our house, we have a family photo wall on the staircase (where it's not staring at us all the time) with picture of my parents, grandparents, and great great great grandparents straight off the boat. We had one growing up, and I loved looking at those pictures. If you have space in an out-of-the-way spot, you could earn some points with your in-laws by creating something similar and telling them their picture was the inspiration for it and your children enjoy looking at it and hearing stories about their family's past. I have a feeling that's what they were after at in the first place by sending such a thing.

[Anonymous]

Not to hijack your thread, but for Christmas, my inlaws gave my 3 year old a photo collage frame (the kind with spaces for 6-8 pictures that are supposed to be mounted on the wall) full exclusively of pictures of my father in law. "For you to hang in your room!"

I would do what the PP suggested and put it in a closet or something and only put it out when they visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to hijack your thread, but for Christmas, my inlaws gave my 3 year old a photo collage frame (the kind with spaces for 6-8 pictures that are supposed to be mounted on the wall) full exclusively of pictures of my father in law. "For you to hang in your room!"

I would do what the PP suggested and put it in a closet or something and only put it out when they visit.

That is super weird. Why did the collage not include MIL?

[Anonymous]

We tuck our into the hutch and put it out when they visit. However, you must be careful to not forget to put it out when they visit. My MIL found it facedown in a drawer and just about had a fit. I explained that I bug bombed the house and I didn't want it to get ruined. Of course then she started obsessing about why I have bugs in my home.

[Anonymous]

At least it is a 5x7, we got a 11x13 in a huge deluxe gilded frame.

[Anonymous]

Do your ILs belong to a church? I bet the church did a photo directory, and then they ordered photos after that.

If you don't like it, though, I think you need to say something to your DH. Or you could just move it, I suppose, since he put it there without asking you.

If you bring it up/he asks, I'd frame it in the context of "Let's decide how/if we want to have more extended family photos up around the house" not "OMG, that is creepy, I cannot stand it." (Pun intended.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I find it a bit odd that a married couple in their early 70s would book a studio photographer to take photos, then I guess send one to each child, and presumably keep one.

I can think of a bunch of reasons someone might feel compelled to do this -- feeling like they aren't going to be around forever, wanted to have a picture around for their grandchildren to see and remember them, etc. It's possible (probable?) that this is an attempt by your in-laws to be more integrated into your daily life, particularly for your children. In that case, I'd be inclined to welcome it, since surely it's better than daily phone calls or visits!

In our house, we have a family photo wall on the staircase (where it's not staring at us all the time) with picture of my parents, grandparents, and great great great grandparents straight off the boat. We had one growing up, and I loved looking at those pictures. If you have space in an out-of-the-way spot, you could earn some points with your in-laws by creating something similar and telling them their picture was the inspiration for it and your children enjoy looking at it and hearing stories about their family's past. I have a feeling that's what they were after at in the first place by sending such a thing.

This is a very nice way of looking at it. My distaste for my ILs is coloring this, in case you hadn't guessed. Photo is so cheesy. The corners fade away, it's heavily photoshopped, at first I thought it must be an old photo from the 80's, since all but a few crow's feet have been digitally scrubbed away from MIL's face.