Single moms: reality check

[Anonymous]

I ask this question on behalf of my ex.

He thinks that a single Mom with kids is going to readily want to shack up with him without a commitment.

Of course what she won't know is he'll be deciding whether or not he wants to be with her and her kids and, if not, she's out.

[Anonymous]

I don't really get the question. It would, of course, depend on the woman.

I'm a single mom, divorced 4 years. I've never even introduced my kids to someone (getting to that...). So this single mom won't be shacking up with anyone.

I have a friend who divorced at the same time as me and she has lived with 2 different guys. She brought them into her home. But she comes from divorced parents and even though she says their choices screwed her up completely, she still did this. I'm not friendly with her as much anymore b/c I really couldn't relate to her decisions.

[Anonymous]

Last I checked, single moms are human beings too, and like all other humans will engage in a wide range of sexual behaviors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last I checked, single moms are human beings too, and like all other humans will engage in a wide range of sexual behaviors.

OP, to clarify, I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about moving herself & her kids in with man she not engaged or married to.

My ex has this belief that he's going to be "trying out" blending a family.

[Anonymous]

Lots of women (single moms or not) make terrible decisions when it comes to men and romance. I have no doubt he could find a single mom happy to move in with him. I'm sure he could find plenty of other single moms who won't even let him meet their kids without some commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't really get the question. It would, of course, depend on the woman.

I'm a single mom, divorced 4 years. I've never even introduced my kids to someone (getting to that...). So this single mom won't be shacking up with anyone.

I have a friend who divorced at the same time as me and she has lived with 2 different guys. She brought them into her home. But she comes from divorced parents and even though she says their choices screwed her up completely, she still did this. I'm not friendly with her as much anymore b/c I really couldn't relate to her decisions.

I have the same beliefs as you.

Interestingly, my ex has the beliefs of your friend and also grew up home with a revolving door of men.

[Anonymous]

I'm a single mom of 4 years as well. There is no way I would be shacking up with anyone unless we were engaged or married. What I do with my own time apart from my son is different, but there will be no shacking up. My mom did that a couple of times when I was growing up and I hated it. Your ex might be able to do this with a woman (lots of women think it's perfectly fine to "try men on" as well). My personal belief, wrong or right, is that dating a single mom comes with different responsibilities than dating a woman with children.

[Anonymous]

*without

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single mom of 4 years as well. There is no way I would be shacking up with anyone unless we were engaged or married. What I do with my own time apart from my son is different, but there will be no shacking up. My mom did that a couple of times when I was growing up and I hated it. Your ex might be able to do this with a woman (lots of women think it's perfectly fine to "try men on" as well). My personal belief, wrong or right, is that dating a single mom comes with different responsibilities than dating a woman with children.

+1 and this is coming from a single dad who dates single moms. no way I would move in with woman or have her move into my home unless we are married.

[Anonymous]

I'm divorced from DD's dad. My boyfriend moved in with me. We have been together for almost 2 years, and the relationship has been serious and committed for about 22 of those 24 months. We do plan to marry but are not formally engaged at this exact moment.

I would not have been comfortable moving into a place that belonged to him with DD, even though the place he moved out of to move in with me was a better physical space than my place. While I am deeply committed to our relationship, I could not take the chance that DD and I would be homeless (even temporarily so) if something went horribly wrong. I was more okay with him moving into my place because if something went horribly wrong, he would just move out.

If a man asked me and DD to move in with him, I would take that as an indicator that he was serious about our relationship. Your ex sounds like an asshole, for inviting a woman and a child to live with him as a test of their relationship. It does not sound like he is considering the effect this would have on the kid at all. Is there any way you can contact the woman and warn her to run like hell??

[Anonymous]

I'm a single mom. I don't want to shack up with anyone unless we've made a lifelong commitment to each other.

[Anonymous]

i'm a single mom. would not necessarily say i had to be married to move in with someone but i would want us to have made a serious commitment to each other to be together for a long time. would not casually try out living together with my child there (unless it was like so and so needs to stay with us for a few weeks until he gets his new apartment or something….)

[Anonymous]

What's the question?

[Anonymous]

I'm not living with anyone with my child unless there is a marriage. But I'm also not the "oh crap I was 20 years old and didn't think about birth control and had fun partying" kind of single mother.

You ex is looking for trouble -- the kind of woman who would sign up for his plan is the kind of woman a sane man would want to avoid becoming entangled with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the question?

As a single Mom, would you move-in (with your kids) with a new boyfriend without a commitment to marriage?