Why do women like older men?
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Anonymous
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Greetings!
Well, *some* women like older men, though certainly many women love younger men. Some, I suppose, like both. In my case, I'm a white man, 45 years old, and my girlfriend is a Latina, 33 years old. My girlfriend has talked with me about her previous lovers, most of whom were under 25, athletic, muscular, and had energy to go nine ways to Sunday. She tells me I'm the opposite of what her *type* has always been in the past. I'm working out and getting back into shape, but that's still a work in progress for sure! Despite the difference between myself and these previous lovers she has been with, she tells me that she loves me, and we have this deep bond that makes her crazy for me. My girlfriend tells me that she's never been the "needy" chick, always thinking about a man, wanting constant attention, and worrying about what he's doing or where he's at. But she does all of this with me. Lol! In the past, she'd hook up with some young stud and kick him to the curb until their next date, whenever that happened to be. She would hook up with one of her other boyfriends, or go out with her girlfriends without a second thought. She never asked what these lovers were doing, or told them what she was doing. She seemed very independent and in control, doing whatever she wanted. Now, we've been together for 6 months or so. She's never lived with a man before. Early in our relationship, she made it very clear she wanted a monogamous, exclusive relationship with me. She laughed and said to me, "when you're not working, I want you right here, with me." We were spending so much time together, that I moved in with her soon. She had never brought any of her lovers home before, to meet her family. Soon, she was introducing me to her family and bringing me to various family parties and everything. She cooks for me every night, which she never did for any of her previous lovers, either. She's become this "domestic goddess" and she seems to be very happy. I'm wondering though, what makes a woman go in a month from being a wild, free wheeling party girl with a rotating stable of young, athletic lovers and a constant schedule with her girlfriends to being a "domestic goddess" and keeping house with an older man, very different from her previous lovers? I'm "old school" in many ways. She says I'm jerky but she's crazy about me and deeply loves me. I'm demanding, dominant, I swear too much, I smoke cigars and drink too much. She was never jealous or possessive with her past lovers at all, but she is very jealous and possessive with me, though she doesn't know why. I appreciate your thoughts on this. Centurion |
Anonymous
| Are you rich? |
Anonymous
no I am Steve |
Anonymous
| You might just be a lot more mature and serious than her previous boyfriend. |
Anonymous
| She's in love with you, and she wasn't in love with these other guys. Love can be a mysterious thing. You're age is probably irrelevant. |
Anonymous
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It doesn't seem like this is a matter of "liking older men." It seems that she likes you. Perhaps what you bring to the table, the younger guys who only wanted her for sex (and vice versa) did not have. The quick switch from always dating one type of guy to a totally new type of guy in a month is particular to your girlfriend. I don't think it's cultural or age related. It's a her thing.
As to the jealousy...in my experience, that's what someone who is insecure or has been cheated on would do. If both people are secure in a relationship, there's no need for jealousy. My BF thinks some degree of jealousy is good. I'm not a fan personally. I want him to make me feel secure and I'm never going to do things to make him feel insecure. Yet, it still happens b/c there are feelings involved. |
Anonymous
Lol! No, I'm certainly not rich. I have quite modest finances. I was married once, and I've been divorced for several years now. While I'm past the marriage and divorce emotionally and so on, honestly I'm still recovering financially, to be honest. To my chagrin, my girlfriend currently makes more than I do. Centurion |
Anonymous
I don't consider 33 to be that young. You're 45. If she was 23, that would be young. 
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Anonymous
| young cute ones are fun, but mature treats me like a queen and likes me for me, not just my body men are keepers for women. Women like to party and have fun, but then they mature and instinct kicks in to marry and want kids, settle down etc. Seems she really likes you. Women can find men who are secure and treat them well very attractive. It isn't always about the men being rich and taking care of them financially. When I see young cute women with older men I think they are happy to finally find a guy that respects them and treats them like a lady. |
Anonymous
| She either found the one hence the change, or whatever stories she has told you about her past are not completely true. |
Anonymous
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She doesn't like "older men." She likes you.
A lot of young women spend time pursuing men who treat them like shit. They dismiss men who aren't hot or rich or asshats. Eventually they grow out of that and realize the value of decency and kindness, and they look for different qualities in a man. So I would say its possible that she has just matured and come to appreciate someone like you. Don't sell yourself short. |
Anonymous
Hello there! Hmmm...yes, I imagine you're quite right about that. At 45, I'm not in the mood to play games. Lol. Hell, I've never been one to play games, even when I was younger. Early on, she asked me to my face, "So, where is this going? Are we going to be casual and hang out, or are we going to be serious? It's up to you." I laughed, and said, "Well, it's not just up to me, you know? I can do the casual thing. I prefer, however, to be serious and exclusive. I want everything you have, girl. I want your mind, body and soul. Everything. Tell me now what you truly want, so I know how to treat you." She looked at me, all wide eyed, and then straight into me, saying "Yes, Centurion, I want everything with you! I want us exclusive, I want us to be building a relationship together, with marriage and children as a goal in the future. I want everything with you, too!" So, I said "ok, then. That's how we're gonna do it." We've been virtually inseparable since then. Lol. I don't see her...or myself...as some "flavor of the week". I don't want games, I expect all cards to be up front and on the table, and to really work at building a great relationship. I guess her previous lovers were just "ice cream" and viewed her the same way. She's told me that very few people have my views about relationships and marriage, especially under 40. *shrug* wow, you know? I just do relationships with a woman like how I was taught. I was taught to be a gentleman. She snorted when I said that, and she said none of her past lovers were gentlemen, real gentlemen. They were just "guys" or "boys". She told me I'm rough, and a bit of a jerk, but very much a gentleman. I didn't really think that maturity and seriousness would be so attractive to a woman. After being married for 20 years, I wasn't sure what to expect from single women nowadays. Centurion |
Anonymous
+1. Age is not relevant. |
Anonymous
| I'm 36 and I've always looked for dependability maturity and seriousness. There are all kinds of women out there but I would guess that the single women in their 30s not looking for the above are the very small minority. |
Anonymous
Adding to this: because even those women who used to fall for irresponsible bad boy types start realizing mature and serious guys make much better fathers. 30s is the time we start putting more weight on spouses as fathers on top of being husbands. |