Out of the dating scene for a while...what's up with this weird behavior?

[Anonymous]

I went out with a group of girlfriends last week. Had drinks at a nice bar and ended up chatting with a guy. I don't often meet people in bars so I was surprised that we hit it off. He asked for my number and texted later that night to say "nice to meet you. Traveling for business this weekend. Can I call you next week to go out?" I said yes. Texts me while he's away, then on Wed of following week to set up time to talk, we agreed on 5:30p following day (today). At 5:30 I get a text saying he's tied up at work, I write to say no problem, I'm stuck in traffic, we can talk later. At 8:30p I get a text that's he's "out at an event", and will call me later. It's now 10:20p.

Clearly I'm either not hearing from him tonight or it will be later than is appropriate, so it's a wash. Bummer, as he seemed nice, but that's the way it goes. Fwiw, I'm in my 30's, so I don't appreciate midnight phone calls or drama anymore.

Here's what I don't get: why would you take a woman's number, text her that night with follow up plans, follow up with those plans, then flake? He may just not be that into me; but it seems like a lot of work for a woman you're not interested in. Also do I just go dark or respond when I inevitably hear from this guy at 1 am (I'm leaning with "go dark").

[Anonymous]

He blew you off because something better came along. That's the bottom line. It doesn't really matter what else he's done, or why. If you accept that sort of treatment from a man, or anyone, you will just get more of it.

Next!

[Anonymous]

It all depends on his job. I have a friend who is in the typenof position where his boss will frequently tell him in the morning that hes meeting x client for dinner and drinks that night (ie until 11 or later). And yes, it is a major issue in his marriage.

[Anonymous]

If he calls at 1am, my only response would be "we're done here" -- sent at a civilized hour tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Go dark. Don't reinforce rude behavior. If he were worth it,and were really interested, he would have either blown off the "event" or asked you to meet him there. Maybe he's hoping you'll invite him over when he finally texts he's free at 11.

[Anonymous]

Get out now. The only thing worse than being alone is being with the wrong person.

[Anonymous]

I know men and women both who double and triple book evenings because of the flaking epidemic. its an arms race of flaking as the more flaking causes people to over book which in turns causes more flaking.

[Anonymous]

Let me guess. He and probably you were bron in 1980 or later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess. He and probably you were bron in 1980 or later.

Great work detective!!! If you read OP's second paragraph, she writes "FWIW I in my thirties." So yes, there is a possibility she was born in 1980 or later.

[Anonymous]

He's married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's married.

That was my first thought too.

I would consider going out with him if he asks again, but I wouldn't rearrange my schedule or chase after him.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's thatnbignof a deal. Maybe he really got busy? You don't have to answer late night phone calls. You can teach him how to treat you. I wouldn't give up on him just yet.

[Anonymous]

Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful
Ah give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes
And everybody knows

[Anonymous]

Texting is quite possibly the worst thing to ever happen to dating.

[Anonymous]

he's married and a narcissist and is very important and likes to double book everything. the kind of person that invites himself to meetings that don't concern him.