Out of the dating scene for a while...what's up with this weird behavior?

[Anonymous]

This has been my experience too with a lo of guys online. Texting or emailing and then they blow you off and never hear from them again. I guess they found someone else but it is just immature and rude behavior to me. Oh well!

[Anonymous]

OP here...never heard from him. It's not a big deal...I agree with the many PP's who noted that people treat you how you allow them to so clearly he and I would not have been a good match, whether he's married, he found something better, or he's just a dick in general who flaked. Better to get that info through a few texts than be sitting across a table from him on a date only to realize he's a raging jerk.

I posted because this is my first "toe in the water" into the dating world in about 18 months and the flakiness of it all surprised me. Fwiw, I also agree that texting is the worst thing to happen to dating in a long time. Thanks all.

[Anonymous]

A couple of years ago, I was stood up by a guy who I'd gone out with a couple of times. We had a great time and he texted me while we were both out of town -- for about a week. He let me know he was back in town and then we were supposed to go out the following night. Definite plans and a reservation was made. He disappeared off the face of the earth.

I've dated a lot and that's happened to me once. Not flaking out...that happens a lot. But full on being stood up. It was a blow to the ego for sure. I considered whether he was married -- we met online. I always come back to, it is probably an issue with them and not with me/you. Let it be and assume this guy would be more drama than he's worth. Put me in the column of "you haven't heard the last of him yet." Please update!

[Anonymous]

certainly not as bad but...just met someone i met on line and he showed up 25 minutes late (an afternoon coffee meeting during the work day) with no apology. called to say he was late 20 minutes late and showed up in 5 minutes. part that was strange is that he didn't apologize. just called to say he was on his way and would be there in 5 minutes. no acknowledgement that i stood there for 25 minutes….

[Anonymous]

What is with all the hysterics OP? He texted you to keep you updated on why he can't call as promised. Doesn't that count for something?

If he really wanted to blow you off, why would he keep texting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is with all the hysterics OP? He texted you to keep you updated on why he can't call as promised. Doesn't that count for something?

If he really wanted to blow you off, why would he keep texting?

some people are obsessive about texting and need to reply to everything and have the last word, always. Plus he might just be a douche.

[Anonymous]

Guy here - I met a woman out of nowhere like this a few years ago. Made arrangements to call her on a certain day and time, which I did. Huge mistake, unfortunately.

She was convinced I was gay for having called when I said I would. Brought her around by jeez ya just can't win....

[Anonymous]

I met a guy in a bar on a weeknight like this when I was single. Always busy on weekends. Always wanted to set up a time to meet and then mysteriously busy and needed to stand me up, but eager to try to get together again. I finally got sick of it. Found out he was married.

[Anonymous]

OP here...this is what I mean! 9:39's story highlights it perfectly...it's like, "who does that?" And 8:48 that is just terrible. That would've been a rough blow to take. I'm sorry that happened! I agree that I'll probably hear from him again at some point, at which unfortunately, it'll be moot. Oh well, onward and upward.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, sounds like one of those "I'm sooooo busy and important" people. I hate those people. Sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is with all the hysterics OP? He texted you to keep you updated on why he can't call as promised. Doesn't that count for something?

If he really wanted to blow you off, why would he keep texting?

OP here, no need to make a federal case out of this. It's a few texts from someone I'll probably never meet (and hysterics? Nothing about my post says that.)

But upon review: Makes plans to call at 5:30, then texts to say he'll call later. Texts later, to say he's at an event, and will call later. Doesn't call.

Now upon reading that, would you go out on a first date with this person? No? Neither would I.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here - I met a woman out of nowhere like this a few years ago. Made arrangements to call her on a certain day and time, which I did. Huge mistake, unfortunately.

She was convinced I was gay for having called when I said I would. Brought her around by jeez ya just can't win....

But you can win. If this lady thinks you're gay (wtf, btw) for being a standup guy and calling when you said you would, she's not for you, just as someone who plans to call me and then doesn't, isn't for me. Right? When you meet someone who appreciates your straightforward behavior, you win.

[Anonymous]

But you can win. If this lady thinks you're gay (wtf, btw) for being a standup guy and calling when you said you would, she's not for you, just as someone who plans to call me and then doesn't, isn't for me. Right? When you meet someone who appreciates your straightforward behavior, you win.

Hey thanks for the encouragement. And you're right, she wasn't for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

But you can win. If this lady thinks you're gay (wtf, btw) for being a standup guy and calling when you said you would, she's not for you, just as someone who plans to call me and then doesn't, isn't for me. Right? When you meet someone who appreciates your straightforward behavior, you win.

Hey thanks for the encouragement. And you're right, she wasn't for me.

Also, you sounds like a nice, decent guy. "Nice" stops being a dirty word when you exit the hailstorm that is your 20's. A brief review of the relationship forum indicates the value that we as women put on a responsible man. If you are that responsible man, stay that way! Some very lucky lady will find you (maybe me, lol, since I won't be going out with texting-but-not-calling dude).

[Anonymous]

Guys tend to be assholes more in their 20s and girls tend to like assholes more in their 20s. Eventually we get our heads out of our collective asses.