Experience dating military officers?

[Anonymous]

Just started dating an army officer-turned-law-student and not sure what to make of things. He's definitely very different from all my civilian boyfriends, so I wanted to get some anonymous opinions. He's an officer so he's not your typical dumb meathead blue collar guy out of high school or something - went to an excellent university for undergrad, comes from money, very smart and funny and intelligent. But he's impossible to read. Sometimes he's sweet and gallant, other times he's a jerk. He doesn't really seem to have any feelings, or maybe he's just ridiculously thick-skinned and is programmed not to have feelings. He's also the cockiest guy I've ever dated and it's such a headache. I'd stop dating him if I didn't see that he's genuinely a good-hearted guy underneath it all (and the fact that he's good in bed is a plus).

Are all army officers cocky? What should I know about military culture in order to understand him better? Just trying to put his behavior and personality in context.

[Anonymous]

Wow!

[Anonymous]

army guys are obsessed with hierarchy. It's kind of built into the way they think. of course they're cocky. comes with the uniform.

[Anonymous]

I dated an Air Force officer, full of bravado and cocky, but in a genuine way- he was confident, competent, and very skilled at his job. Yes, he had trouble with deeper emotions and basically had a bad joke for most things. He was very into Church which was a deal breaker for me. I am 90% sure he was and is gay.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I married a Navy Commander. They are confident, action oriented, patriotic and decisive. They don't have time for drama. Has he been deployed to a war zone? What happened with his last relationship? It is hard to give you advice without knowing either of you but these are things you should discuss with him.

[Anonymous]

Will expect you to do a lot "for show" for others. Their public persona is the most important thing often in the absence of a private persona. Not very genuine. How you describe him, I'm not at all surprised. They tend to be faithful to their wives, hard on their children -not very flexible or sensitive.

[Anonymous]

You will hamper his career if you're not totally onboard with the military mindset. You are smart to try to learn about it now.

[Anonymous]

As a military spouse, these posts make me laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will expect you to do a lot "for show" for others. Their public persona is the most important thing often in the absence of a private persona. Not very genuine. How you describe him, I'm not at all surprised. They tend to be faithful to their wives, hard on their children -not very flexible or sensitive.

How many military families do you know?

By your post I am guessing you are basing your write up on one guy you knew from high school, and a lot of Top Gun, perhaps a little Major Dad thrown in for good measure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I married a Navy Commander. They are confident, action oriented, patriotic and decisive. They don't have time for drama. Has he been deployed to a war zone? What happened with his last relationship? It is hard to give you advice without knowing either of you but these are things you should discuss with him.

This is the only accurate post of the bunch.

[Anonymous]

Best.sex.ever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated an Air Force officer, full of bravado and cocky, but in a genuine way- he was confident, competent, and very skilled at his job. Yes, he had trouble with deeper emotions and basically had a bad joke for most things. He was very into Church which was a deal breaker for me. I am 90% sure he was and is gay.

Not Lieutenant Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, by any chance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best.sex.ever

This one is accurate too

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for these great replies.

Yes, he has served. He definitely has a track record of being faithful (I know some of his friends) and he was raised strictly and I can definitely see him being strict with kids.

Love his patriotism and his brains and his masculinity. A little turned off by his inability to be sensitive, his sometimes boorish and un-PC jokes, and the fact that his cockiness seems like a mask for some kind of deep insecurity. I am not saying he's not confident about some aspects of himself - he is. But there is a depth of insecurity there too, that I just haven't seen before in previous boyfriends. And it makes no sense because he has everything going for him!

[Anonymous]

Run.