Got myself stuck in a terrible situation

[Anonymous]

My 16 years old son, Gabe who have been living with his father for last six years after unsuccessfully trying to have him coexisting with my husband and his kids and our new born baby.
He was doing quite well for first four years, but then his father end up fall for a woman and that's when it all goes bad.

Before his father fell for a woman, Gabe and his father would do a lot of things together and his father was very attentive and involved in his life. Gabe seems to be quite happy and whenever he come to visit my family and me, he was able to handle the situation okay most of the time.

However one thing he never seems to get over is the fact that he really doesn't get along with most kids. He had only few friends in elementary school, then drift from one friend to other in middle school, then in high school he have pretty much none.
Despite of having excellent social skill, being on wrestling and water polo team he just doesn't seems to care much for friends. Also as he get older, it get worse.
Now he only seems to have few older female friends and nothing else.
He has spent pretty much all of his free time by himself ever since his father start to go out with this woman. That's when he start to get really bad.

I just learned that he used to manipulate his father into giving him money or things in order to keep him off his back about this woman.
This summer, the woman and her son and two severely disabled adopted children end up moving in with his father and Gabe.
This was already bad enough for Gabe. However his father's girlfriend expect Gabe to be a better example and help with the kids. That's when thing got out of control.
Gabe's father of course would start to pay Gabe a lot more in effort to get him to cooperate and Gabe just end up hating the kids even more. Also Gabe's father's girlfriend have went through Gabe's room to take a lot of things away from him because she think he shouldn't have it. She also took him out of boxing and forbid him from many actives. This doesn't fly well at all.

About two months ago, Gabe's father suddenly passed away. This left Gabe with everything and Gabe's father's friend who is a lawyer as a guardian of the inherit.
It has been a terrible time for everybody.
To make thing worse, Gabe have been becoming extremely manipulative and getting far worse about everything. At first he tricked us into believing that he want to live in the house with his father's girlfriend only to suddenly demand everything back from his father's girlfriend, force his father's girlfriend to give up his father's larger bedroom so he can move in.
He then went on to do numerous other things that upset everybody in the house.

Yesterday I stopped by to check on the situation. Gabe wasn't home at the time so his father's girlfriend answered the door and we end up talk a bit. She was extremely distressed.
I learned that Gabe has gave her 30 days eviction notice few days ago and she have no idea where she and her children will go. When I called Gabe to ask him about this, his reply was basically "I'm done with dealing with this drama, I want her and her kids out of the house!" When I remind him of the deal we had, he replied with "Either you move in with me and we can live in here and my life will be back to what it used to be until I'm 18 or I can sell the house and seek emancipation!"
When I tried to tell him that what he's doing is wrong. He hung up.

I've tried to call him a few more times and he refused to answer.

I have never felt so lost. I just don't know what to do any more and am really afraid of what will happen.

[Anonymous]

sorry you lost me at gabe trying to evict an adult

[Anonymous]

Since a minor can't own real estate, who owns the house?

[Anonymous]

Your grammar makes this post almost unreadable. I skimmed it. I don't understand why you want your son to live with a woman he is not related to. I'd give her the boot too. Good thing he has an inheritance. He's probably going to need it for the therapy.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I'm not really understanding any of this either.

[Anonymous]

Why on earth would you allow your minor child to live with a grown woman who isn't related to him? Why don't you have custody of your son? This is neglect, in my opinion. Someone needs to call CPS now. This boy is a minor living on his own? I don't get it.

[Anonymous]

I also dont get why your son is living with this woman who he has no relation or real connection to. From what I can tell he never got along with or liked this woman and her kids so why on earth should he be expected to live with them now.

I think your 16 year old son needs to move in with you at this point. And get everyone in counseling.

[Anonymous]

Gabe's father's best friend who is a attorney is the one who is in charge of Gabe's inheritance. This man have no son of himself and have knew Gabe since he was little and are very close.

As for Gabe living with this woman, Gabe refused to move in with me. He doesn't get along with my family.
That's how Gabe end up living with his father. As hard as it was, it was the best thing to do at the time until Gabe's father met this woman.

I believe Gabe have planned this from the beginning. He was downright manipulative over everything from the moment his father passed away.

[Anonymous]

Teens and young adults can be extremely ruthless, but do not often have the financial clout to make a lot of damage. All Gabe sees is that he has the legal right to this and the emotional need for revenge.

Gabe sounds like a depressed, emotionally-disturbed child at best, or a budding sociopath at worse. I can completely believe he is manipulative. Sadly, he might end hurting himself and a whole lot of people around him.

Can you set up a meeting with his school's counselor and talk all three of you? Or a private therapist?
Is there a person he greatly respects in his life (the attorney for example?) who can impart a measure of charitable feeling towards his father's new family? I suggest the lady rent out the house for a reasonable sum until she can gather the means to move out, which perhaps means changing schools for her children, so maybe at the end of the semester or the school year.

Whether your son lives with you or not should be treated as a separate issue - and Gabe should be made to understand this. If his personality is difficult at home and you suspect he has an actual disorder, can you strike a deal with him to move back in but get therapy sessions and perhaps medication for his condition?

The most important thing is to seek medical help for mental health issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since a minor can't own real estate, who owns the house?

OF COURSE A MINOR CAN OWN REAL STATE!

[Anonymous]

this sounds like your poor kid is a kid who no one ever puts first.

not sure I can follow the whole story, but it is time for you to step up and be a mom.

[Anonymous]

this sounds like your poor kid is a kid who no one ever puts first.

not sure I can follow the whole story, but it is time for you to step up and be a mom.

yeah, he probably should have given her more than 30 days, that wasn't kind. there's more to this story since dad clearly decided not to leave the woman his house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this sounds like your poor kid is a kid who no one ever puts first.

not sure I can follow the whole story, but it is time for you to step up and be a mom.

yeah, he probably should have given her more than 30 days, that wasn't kind. there's more to this story since dad clearly decided not to leave the woman his house.

The father probably died suddenly without modifying an existing will. It happens often, because the first thing people think about when their life changes isn't: "Gosh, I should change my will!".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your grammar makes this post almost unreadable. I skimmed it. I don't understand why you want your son to live with a woman he is not related to. I'd give her the boot too. Good thing he has an inheritance. He's probably going to need it for the therapy.

You come across as a real shit. You might want to work on your empathy skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: When I remind him of the deal we had, he replied with "Either you move in with me and we can live in here and my life will be back to what it used to be until I'm 18 or I can sell the house and seek emancipation!"
When I tried to tell him that what he's doing is wrong. He hung up.

I've tried to call him a few more times and he refused to answer.

I have never felt so lost. I just don't know what to do any more and am really afraid of what will happen.

Your poor son!

So when he was 10 years old, you married a new guy? New husband brought his own kids to the marriage, and you and new husband had a baby and at 10 years old, your son felt so bad with you and new husband and a bunch of new kids, that he left your house and moved in with his dad?

Things were kind of OK for 4 years, and then his dad fell for this other woman, when Gabe was 14. He fell really hard for her, even though she didn't get along with his kid... so at that point, age 14, Gabe was dealing with a dad involved with a woman with 2 disabled kids, and a mom married to a new husband with a couple of odler kids and a 4 year old little half brother... and no one really liked him or wanted him around?

And then last summer, new girlfriend and 2 severely disabled kids move in with Gabe and his dad -- and woman wants HIM (Gabe) to be a good role model for the disabled kids and starts going through his stuff, taking him out of boxing?
Holey moley -- no wonder he's upset with her!

And his dad dies... and he wants out of the relationship with dad's girlfriend and disabled kids... I can totally understand that!

He is crying out to you for help -- he feels you abandoned him for your new husband. What on earth was that about?? How can you let your 10 year old kid just move out of your house because he isn't getting along with your new husband AND HIS KIDS??

You need to pick up the pieces now. He's not an adult. He is 16. He happens to own property, the house where he and his father lived very happily for 4 years. New girlfriend has only been there a few months.... she should go back to wherever she was living before she moved in. She has no connection to your son. She is not his responsibility, and she clearly didn't care for him, but was using him for her own needs. That's not cool.