Got myself stuck in a terrible situation

[Anonymous]

Talk to the attorney in charge of your ex husband affairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the attorney in charge of your ex husband affairs.

I agree; if he's close to gabe, he'll help you help him out. If he doesn't care about gabe, he'll still help you help gabe from letting this woman squander money that he could potentially steal from him. (Yes I admit I've been home sick, watching way too many lifetime movies, but still you should talk to your ex-husband's attorney.)

[Anonymous]

Sorry English isn't my native langauge. So sometime it is difficult to write better when I'm trying to think and talk about more than one things.

Unfortunately, someone who Gabe look up to is his father's friend who is also in charge of his inherit. They are close so I can see Gabe easily manipulate thing to get things his way. So I don't think this person exactly have that lady's best interest in mind.

I can try to set time with his counselor. Fortunatley he's a pretty good student so I'm sure he will at least come if he's asked to as he care about school.

I know Gabe is really unhappy at the moment and I can see he's bitter. Before the woman moved in, he was pretty happy kid. Despite of being alone, he was always having fun surfing, wind surfing, scuba diving, longboard, and boxing.
Then this lady moved in and took everything away from him because she deem it to be unsafe and bad infulence on other kids. His father end up do nothing to stand up for Gabe and Gabe end up not liking this woman at all.
In fact Gabe end up buy new things for all of those actives not long after his father died.

It is my fear that he'll end up hurt a lot of people as well. He doesn't want to live with me because he doesn't want to live with my family. Yet he is evicting this woman with three kids which eventually will leave him with no choice but to move back in with me and my family. I will not let him become emancipation minor. But I know he will never come to live with us willingly and is actively trying to find a condo on his own to buy when he sold the house.
I've not told him that yet and am not looking forward to it.
Despite of not liking the woman very much, I do feel really bad for her and her kids, but the eviction note have already been gave and Gabe refused to change his mind or talk about it.

I did put Gabe first, but he was only 8 when I moved in with my husband and his two kids. I thought he'd be ok, but it didn't work out. That's why I let him move in with his father. He was doing well until his father met this woman.
When his father met this woman, he pretty much just bribed Gabe with money and things so he can spend more time with this woman. Then when this woman and her family moved in with them this summer, Gabe's father saw how hard it was to try make thing work with Gabe and other kids. So Gabe's father end up start to bribing Gabe more to try keep Gabe from rebelling so much.
Four months later, in September, Gabe's father got in a car accident that killed him. So Gabe end up inherit everything and he's close to his father's friend who is in charge of his inherit until Gabe is eighteen. No surprise Gabe easily manipulate everything.

I wish I'd have knew more about all of this so I could have done something before it get this bad. Unfortunately, I didn't know much about this until recently. That's why I'm trying to seek some option or help.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure Gabe is manipulating. I think he is reacting and surviving.

Moving back in with you would be a nightmare. He won't, nor should he. it sounds like he is 16 but really already functioning like an adult. Despite everything he is still a good student so he is getting himself to school and managing the house.

Of course the girlfriend and kids should move out. He doesn't have to live with them. Does it suck for those kids too, yes it does.

Seeing as he has an adult male in his life who is in charge and who he trusts, that persona is probably the best person to help him sort through the decisions. Living on his own in a place he can afford would probably be the best option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: When I remind him of the deal we had, he replied with "Either you move in with me and we can live in here and my life will be back to what it used to be until I'm 18 or I can sell the house and seek emancipation!"
When I tried to tell him that what he's doing is wrong. He hung up.

I've tried to call him a few more times and he refused to answer.

I have never felt so lost. I just don't know what to do any more and am really afraid of what will happen.

Your poor son!

So when he was 10 years old, you married a new guy? New husband brought his own kids to the marriage, and you and new husband had a baby and at 10 years old, your son felt so bad with you and new husband and a bunch of new kids, that he left your house and moved in with his dad?

Things were kind of OK for 4 years, and then his dad fell for this other woman, when Gabe was 14. He fell really hard for her, even though she didn't get along with his kid... so at that point, age 14, Gabe was dealing with a dad involved with a woman with 2 disabled kids, and a mom married to a new husband with a couple of odler kids and a 4 year old little half brother... and no one really liked him or wanted him around?

And then last summer, new girlfriend and 2 severely disabled kids move in with Gabe and his dad -- and woman wants HIM (Gabe) to be a good role model for the disabled kids and starts going through his stuff, taking him out of boxing?
Holey moley -- no wonder he's upset with her!

And his dad dies... and he wants out of the relationship with dad's girlfriend and disabled kids... I can totally understand that!

He is crying out to you for help -- he feels you abandoned him for your new husband. What on earth was that about?? How can you let your 10 year old kid just move out of your house because he isn't getting along with your new husband AND HIS KIDS??

You need to pick up the pieces now. He's not an adult. He is 16. He happens to own property, the house where he and his father lived very happily for 4 years. New girlfriend has only been there a few months.... she should go back to wherever she was living before she moved in. She has no connection to your son. She is not his responsibility, and she clearly didn't care for him, but was using him for her own needs. That's not cool.

You're right... I moved in with my new husband when Gabe was 8 and tried to make it work a few times and it didn't go well so Gabe went to live with his father for a bit then come back a few more times before we decided he's better to stay with his father.
I thought that he would eventually coexist with my husband and his kids. It didn't happen, Gabe was just getting worse with his behave every time he come back and his grade was suffering. Yet when he go back to his father, he was getting better.

Yes Gabe's father fell for this woman hard and we even tried to offer Gabe to come back when we noticed his father was spending less time with him. Gabe declined the offer every single times.
We even told him if he want to move back in, he's welcome to. He didn't take the offer up.
I never knew about this woman going through his thing and taking him out of boxing until recently. I wasn't happy about this at all and would have said something if I knew earlier.


As for Gabe's attorney friend, I've not talk to him in a few weeks. But he doesn't trust me much so he doesn't really let me get involved and kept me at distance for most part.
However from impression I got from Gabe is, he want to sell the house ASAP. I know he want to buy a small condo in single payment and receive small allowance from his father's inherit until he's eighteen.
I don't agree with this. I want Gabe to move back in with me and my family but at same time I'm really afraid of what would happen if we made him move back in or he'll try to get emancipated.
I will try talk to the attorney again next week and see what I can do.

[Anonymous]

Let him emancipate and live in his condo. He can't move back in with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure Gabe is manipulating. I think he is reacting and surviving.

Moving back in with you would be a nightmare. He won't, nor should he. it sounds like he is 16 but really already functioning like an adult. Despite everything he is still a good student so he is getting himself to school and managing the house.

Of course the girlfriend and kids should move out. He doesn't have to live with them. Does it suck for those kids too, yes it does.

Seeing as he has an adult male in his life who is in charge and who he trusts, that persona is probably the best person to help him sort through the decisions. Living on his own in a place he can afford would probably be the best option.

He have tried to use his position to force his father's girlfriend to give him things back. He have even gone as far as get rid of all television and video game systems that isn't in someone bedroom simply because he don't like or watch television. Now no one but Gabe want to be in the living room.
He also almost immediately sold two of his father's own cars for low price without even talking to his father's girlfriend about it.
Why would Gabe made his father's girlfriend give up the master bedroom so he can move in?
Gabe have done many things that just make it seems like he's manipulating to get things his way and not being mature about anything.
Kicking someone out of the house is just horrible. Yet Gabe doesn't even care even when this woman was crying in front of him. He doesn't even care about those kids and whenever the questions about the kids are brought up, he just brush it off and say they're not his problem.

I don't like the idea of him being out on his own. He's still only sixteen.
I know he want to sell the house and buy a small condo to move in to reduce the burden of owning a place. But I'm afraid about letting him doing this. I feel he still have a lot of growing up to do.
My step son is Gabe's age and mature, but I could never imagine him being on his own.

[Anonymous]

Is there any case of a sixteen years old living on their own and doing okay? How do I know he have matured enough?

I'm also extremely worried about him being out on his own as he like to be at the beach a lot and spend a lot of time there, play physical sport, boxing, and other things. I don't know what it would be like if he's not supervised.
He have never lived on his own and paid his own bills either. So he know nothing about this.
Plus he have few older female friends and that cannot be good.

I know the attorney will help with managing the money, but still it is scary and he's still my baby and a child in my eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let him emancipate and live in his condo. He can't move back in with you.

+1. His mother who choose her new husband and his kids now wants her son to live with dad's girlfriend and her kids who he had no connection with and does not like. Crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let him emancipate and live in his condo. He can't move back in with you.

+1. His mother who choose her new husband and his kids now wants her son to live with dad's girlfriend and her kids who he had no connection with and does not like. Crazy.

+2 No wonder Gabe wants emancipation.

[Anonymous]

Gabe sounds more sensible than OP. OP, I can't say that I blame the lawyer for not trusting you.

[Anonymous]

I say - Gabe needs to go to boarding school. that would prob. be a good option if he can't live on his own but he can't live with you either. He can visit you on the school vacations.

[Anonymous]

OP seems to put everyone else ahead of her son including her ex's girlfriend and her kids. Why should Gabe not evict them? He has no ties to her and apparently doesn't even get along with her or her kids.

No wonder he doesn't listen to a mother who chose a new husband and family when he was eight yrs old. Gabe sounds perfectly reasonable and sane more than OP certainly.

[Anonymous]

Very hard to read your post, and why the hell would you use your child's real name and all these details?

[Anonymous]

I feel really bad for this kid. Let him become emancipated. He'll probably do better than having to live with you. You abandoned your kid. You can't now turn around and say "oh he's my child and a baby in my eyes".