NYT Article on "Rise of Single-Parent Families is Not a Good Thing"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The traditional 2 parent family with mom and dad married, with no kids from previous relationships is no longer the norm
That has not been the norm for a long time
Ww1 wiped out numerous fathers, as did ww2
In the 60s people started to believe this could be the golden standard
Life has changed with the times and so has the definition of family and even standards for poverty

WWI and WWII wiped out potential fathers. Not actual fathers. What exactly do you think the baby boom was? Also, is the new norm better or worse for children? Are they thriving under this new norm?

You guys are insane. If you think pre-World War I women, we’re not marrying second and third husband.. women weren’t even allowed to own their own property. When a man died, they had to marry someone in order to keep their property.

So yeah, this is not knew that women forced to marry men, and be married because of the way the institution to set up.

What are you even talking about? Married men with children weren't sent to the front lines. The younger single men were. You need to open a history book. You said WWI and WWII wiped out fathers. That's totally false, they were often exempt from service.

Married men with children were sent to the frontlines, as well as old men
Some allied nations did not have to call up old men or married men, but in Europe there was no alternative.
Don’t think that the way things were in USA was universal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The traditional 2 parent family with mom and dad married, with no kids from previous relationships is no longer the norm
That has not been the norm for a long time
Ww1 wiped out numerous fathers, as did ww2
In the 60s people started to believe this could be the golden standard
Life has changed with the times and so has the definition of family and even standards for poverty

WWI and WWII wiped out potential fathers. Not actual fathers. What exactly do you think the baby boom was? Also, is the new norm better or worse for children? Are they thriving under this new norm?

You guys are insane. If you think pre-World War I women, we’re not marrying second and third husband.. women weren’t even allowed to own their own property. When a man died, they had to marry someone in order to keep their property.

So yeah, this is not knew that women forced to marry men, and be married because of the way the institution to set up.

What are you even talking about? Married men with children weren't sent to the front lines. The younger single men were. You need to open a history book. You said WWI and WWII wiped out fathers. That's totally false, they were often exempt from service.

Married men with children were sent to the frontlines, as well as old men
Some allied nations did not have to call up old men or married men, but in Europe there was no alternative.
Don’t think that the way things were in USA was universal

Well, we're talking about the US darling! That's not what happened here. We're not talking about Russia or Germany. If we were we'd be talking about their marriage and single parent rates and we're not. So, if you want to switch gears, provide date about European marriage, divorce, and single parent rates to go with your interesting factoids about Allied forces and military service in the 1940s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Society already overwhelmingly favors two-parent families in literally everything. That’s why it’s so hard to be a single parent, duh.

This.

You would the think that social pressure was enough to encourage families to stay together, but it’s not. People still choose divorce instead. Look at the advice on the relationship forum. One spouse doesn’t help with chores as much? Divorce. Not as attracted to spouse as you used to be? Divorce. Why are people voluntarily taking the hard road here if it’s so hard?

I'm glad my mom took "the hard road" and divorced my alcoholic father. I cannot imagine what would've become of my brother and I had we stayed in a house with him. Thankfully we rarely saw him after the divorce because he was drunk most of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Society already overwhelmingly favors two-parent families in literally everything. That’s why it’s so hard to be a single parent, duh.

This.

You would the think that social pressure was enough to encourage families to stay together, but it’s not. People still choose divorce instead. Look at the advice on the relationship forum. One spouse doesn’t help with chores as much? Divorce. Not as attracted to spouse as you used to be? Divorce. Why are people voluntarily taking the hard road here if it’s so hard?

I'm glad my mom took "the hard road" and divorced my alcoholic father. I cannot imagine what would've become of my brother and I had we stayed in a house with him. Thankfully we rarely saw him after the divorce because he was drunk most of the time.

So you're making the point that it's not so hard to be a single parent? The PP above said it was. Then I guess we should't worry about whether society favors two parent households if single parents can manage as well or better on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Society already overwhelmingly favors two-parent families in literally everything. That’s why it’s so hard to be a single parent, duh.

This.

You would the think that social pressure was enough to encourage families to stay together, but it’s not. People still choose divorce instead. Look at the advice on the relationship forum. One spouse doesn’t help with chores as much? Divorce. Not as attracted to spouse as you used to be? Divorce. Why are people voluntarily taking the hard road here if it’s so hard?

I'm glad my mom took "the hard road" and divorced my alcoholic father. I cannot imagine what would've become of my brother and I had we stayed in a house with him. Thankfully we rarely saw him after the divorce because he was drunk most of the time.

So you're making the point that it's not so hard to be a single parent? The PP above said it was. Then I guess we should't worry about whether society favors two parent households if single parents can manage as well or better on their own.

Is English your 2nd language? Do you understand what it means when people use “”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Society already overwhelmingly favors two-parent families in literally everything. That’s why it’s so hard to be a single parent, duh.

This.

You would the think that social pressure was enough to encourage families to stay together, but it’s not. People still choose divorce instead. Look at the advice on the relationship forum. One spouse doesn’t help with chores as much? Divorce. Not as attracted to spouse as you used to be? Divorce. Why are people voluntarily taking the hard road here if it’s so hard?

I'm glad my mom took "the hard road" and divorced my alcoholic father. I cannot imagine what would've become of my brother and I had we stayed in a house with him. Thankfully we rarely saw him after the divorce because he was drunk most of the time.

So you're making the point that it's not so hard to be a single parent? The PP above said it was. Then I guess we should't worry about whether society favors two parent households if single parents can manage as well or better on their own.

Come on. Doing the right thing is also sometimes doing the hard thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The traditional 2 parent family with mom and dad married, with no kids from previous relationships is no longer the norm
That has not been the norm for a long time
Ww1 wiped out numerous fathers, as did ww2
In the 60s people started to believe this could be the golden standard
Life has changed with the times and so has the definition of family and even standards for poverty

100% the norm among UC and UMC.

Coincidence?

Not really. Divorce rate for UC and UMC is around 30 percent now. Lower than the norm but it's still very common. We live in a wealthy area of Moco and the rate of people on their second (or third!) marriages or who are divorced is about 20-30%. And if you look around and think that's not the norm, it's because you have young kids. Wait until they go off to college!

+1 I think folks would also be surprised as they learn how many of their UMC neighbors include at least one partner who had a starter marriage and starter kids. Usually it's the older dad who seems so lovely and involved, and who you find out later has high school or college-age kids who he only sees every couple of months.

[Anonymous]

How is a New York times article the be all and end all?
We all know that men are unreliable, abandon their families, sometimes die, end up disabled, imprisoned
Nothing new under the sun

Women do well, they are resourceful and take over running the household, looking after elderly parents, kids, manage finances and their do ok
Obamas mother was a single parent
Married women end up single

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Society already overwhelmingly favors two-parent families in literally everything. That’s why it’s so hard to be a single parent, duh.

This.

You would the think that social pressure was enough to encourage families to stay together, but it’s not. People still choose divorce instead. Look at the advice on the relationship forum. One spouse doesn’t help with chores as much? Divorce. Not as attracted to spouse as you used to be? Divorce. Why are people voluntarily taking the hard road here if it’s so hard?

I'm glad my mom took "the hard road" and divorced my alcoholic father. I cannot imagine what would've become of my brother and I had we stayed in a house with him. Thankfully we rarely saw him after the divorce because he was drunk most of the time.

So you're making the point that it's not so hard to be a single parent? The PP above said it was. Then I guess we should't worry about whether society favors two parent households if single parents can manage as well or better on their own.

Don't be an a$$hole. That is not the conclusion here ("it's not so hard to be a single parent"). So stop putting words in people's mouths. The conclusion is sometimes you have to choose between two difficult or shi--y situations. Sometimes divorce is the less shi--y situation.

My mom did not better her situation by getting divorced from my abusive father. But, it was the better shi--y option than staying with him.

You should be ashamed of yourself, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Society already overwhelmingly favors two-parent families in literally everything. That’s why it’s so hard to be a single parent, duh.

This.

You would the think that social pressure was enough to encourage families to stay together, but it’s not. People still choose divorce instead. Look at the advice on the relationship forum. One spouse doesn’t help with chores as much? Divorce. Not as attracted to spouse as you used to be? Divorce. Why are people voluntarily taking the hard road here if it’s so hard?

I'm glad my mom took "the hard road" and divorced my alcoholic father. I cannot imagine what would've become of my brother and I had we stayed in a house with him. Thankfully we rarely saw him after the divorce because he was drunk most of the time.

So you're making the point that it's not so hard to be a single parent? The PP above said it was. Then I guess we should't worry about whether society favors two parent households if single parents can manage as well or better on their own.

It easier than dealing with an abusive alcoholic. I’m a single parent and it isn’t that hard.

[Anonymous]

People are skewing this piece in a way that is not accurate. The author mentions nothing about policies or other measures to force people to remain in toxic relationships. She specifically refers to the benefit of having two parents with healthy relationships. She also points out that her research has shown children whose mothers have only high school educations or some college, but no degree, tend to have worse outcomes than those with two parents. Of course, there are exceptions.

Is the general idea that unique challenges are associated with raising children without a partner when you have not completed a college degree that controversial?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are skewing this piece in a way that is not accurate. The author mentions nothing about policies or other measures to force people to remain in toxic relationships. She specifically refers to the benefit of having two parents with healthy relationships. She also points out that her research has shown children whose mothers have only high school educations or some college, but no degree, tend to have worse outcomes than those with two parents. Of course, there are exceptions.

Is the general idea that unique challenges are associated with raising children without a partner when you have not completed a college degree that controversial?

Sounds like just another study to say that middle class kids fare better than poor kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are skewing this piece in a way that is not accurate. The author mentions nothing about policies or other measures to force people to remain in toxic relationships. She specifically refers to the benefit of having two parents with healthy relationships. She also points out that her research has shown children whose mothers have only high school educations or some college, but no degree, tend to have worse outcomes than those with two parents. Of course, there are exceptions.

Is the general idea that unique challenges are associated with raising children without a partner when you have not completed a college degree that controversial?

But none of that is true with respect to marital status. She’s an economist not a psychologist.

The fact is if your parents didn’t go to college you are less likely to go to college and your parents marital status has nothing to do with it.

Also she only compares healthy married people to poor single moms. She should correct for HHI to determine if marital status is the cause or is it really just money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are skewing this piece in a way that is not accurate. The author mentions nothing about policies or other measures to force people to remain in toxic relationships. She specifically refers to the benefit of having two parents with healthy relationships. She also points out that her research has shown children whose mothers have only high school educations or some college, but no degree, tend to have worse outcomes than those with two parents. Of course, there are exceptions.

Is the general idea that unique challenges are associated with raising children without a partner when you have not completed a college degree that controversial?

Sounds like just another study to say that middle class kids fare better than poor kids

Her opinion, not a study, but yes, it all comes down to money does nothing to do with marital status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people who lament but what can we do are the same ones who make sure we can't do anything about it. God forbid we try to teach a kid that abstinence, monogamy and traditional marriage are the goal posts. I have a gay kid, so don't @ me. I love her and her spouse more than anything and believe they'll make wonderful parents one day. But they both grew up seeing traditional values that instilled the same beliefs - that promiscuity, and "be whatever you want to be" are not conducive to a family environment.

Gay people statistically have way higher body counts than straight people

You mean gay men.