NYT Article on "Rise of Single-Parent Families is Not a Good Thing"

[Anonymous]

There have been a couple similarly-themed articles in the NYT in the last couple weeks.

I don't think the articles or studies sufficiently parse out the difference between: (i) women who have babies without getting married, where dad may or may not be in the picture (but realistically, mom bears most of the childrearing); (ii) babies born to marriage, but where there's a divorce and one parent effectively abandons the family (basically, the classic 1970s divorce); and (iii) babies born to married, but where there's a divorce but both parents are still active, engaged parents in separate households. I'm going to guess all are, on average, less favorable than the typical two-parent household, but that (iii) is a lot better than (i) and (ii).

But the primary solution shouldn't be making women care for babies in unhappy marriages. It should be making abortions unstigmatized and available and, shocker, encouraged (with absolute knowing consent). I don't really care about the arguments that this is "racist" eugenics because we're mostly talking about POC. I think it's a lot more racist for their kids to grow up in a cycle of poverty that could have been predicted from the minute the sperm hit the egg. We can put our tax dollars into women's prenatal healthcare (which is proven to work), or we can put a lot more of it into the war on poverty, which 60 years later consensus is that it's really expensive and doesn't work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But let's continue to act like abortion services is about evil slutty women... Our society makes no sense. Two parent households are better, but we're going to force you have this baby and become a single mother (leaving the father off the hook entirely as we continue to deride single mothers as the problem) and then we're going to shame you for it by conducting a study that says you've done parenthood all wrong, when you may not have wanted to do it at all.

+1. Continue to support reproductive rights orgs. Donate monthly. Vote accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But let's continue to act like abortion services is about evil slutty women... Our society makes no sense. Two parent households are better, but we're going to force you have this baby and become a single mother (leaving the father off the hook entirely as we continue to deride single mothers as the problem) and then we're going to shame you for it by conducting a study that says you've done parenthood all wrong, when you may not have wanted to do it at all.

In other words Americans are hypocritical schizophrenics who have no idea what they want, what they value, or how to better their lives. Which, in turn, makes them very susceptible to all sorts of con men/women.

News at 11.

[Anonymous]

Well nowadays you can’t praise one tho g without seeming to criticize the opposite. If o day I like vanilla that doesn’t mean I think chocolate is disgusting but that’s how people take it.

You can’t point out the hood of 2 parent families without one parent families feeling insulted.

[Anonymous]

I don’t want to hear one.single.word about 2-parent families come out of the mouth of anyone who does not also fully support full access to reproductive care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But let's continue to act like abortion services is about evil slutty women... Our society makes no sense. Two parent households are better, but we're going to force you have this baby and become a single mother (leaving the father off the hook entirely as we continue to deride single mothers as the problem) and then we're going to shame you for it by conducting a study that says you've done parenthood all wrong, when you may not have wanted to do it at all.

In other words Americans are hypocritical schizophrenics who have no idea what they want, what they value, or how to better their lives. Which, in turn, makes them very susceptible to all sorts of con men/women.

News at 11.

Abortion has been readily available for quite some time. Yet there are so many single parents. They didn't choose abortion, so that's not the issue here. It's weird that someone is assuming they would have aborted their child rather than raise in a single parent household when they had the chance and didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But let's continue to act like abortion services is about evil slutty women... Our society makes no sense. Two parent households are better, but we're going to force you have this baby and become a single mother (leaving the father off the hook entirely as we continue to deride single mothers as the problem) and then we're going to shame you for it by conducting a study that says you've done parenthood all wrong, when you may not have wanted to do it at all.

In other words Americans are hypocritical schizophrenics who have no idea what they want, what they value, or how to better their lives. Which, in turn, makes them very susceptible to all sorts of con men/women.

News at 11.

Abortion has been readily available for quite some time. Yet there are so many single parents. They didn't choose abortion, so that's not the issue here. It's weird that someone is assuming they would have aborted their child rather than raise in a single parent household when they had the chance and didn't.

No, abortion has never been “readily available” in many places, even pre-Dobbs. Nor has birth control.

[Anonymous]

Obviously single parent families can be amazing. I know several women who have adopted as a single person and they are great parents and their children are enjoying far better outcomes with them than they would have otherwise and in the "system." Children of divorce with two committed parents also can have great outcomes and a good family life.

However, overall, kids coming out of two parent families statistically have better outcomes. Water is wet. The sun is bright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We need to adequately and accurately prepare people for marriage and the rigors of family life. You know - bring people down to reality. I think Americans have a very ambitious view of marriage and partnership that rarely aligns with reality - hence so many are absolutely miserable. We need to better prepare young people for being heads of household. Our current navel-gazing/everyone is special/take me as I am/fragile culture is doing nobody any favors.

+100. I am a pro choice most def liberal left leaning person but I will say there are zero traditions in American society that highlights and espouses family values. This isn't about what kind of music you let your kids listen to or being a helicopter parent or not but the core value of being with your kids and as much as possible, sticking with your spouse if it's possible to work something out. As the kid of parents who stuck it out too long and witnessed their crumbling disaster of a marriage I am still of the mind that them staying together was BETTER for me in the long run. I am the mom of 2 kids and married for 16 years. I have had tremendous ups and downs personally with my marriage but I think my kids have def been better off with me and DH married. While there is a lot of love and support in my marriage, I don't know how much passion there is and it probably as man and wife, we're not in the right place. However, I also know that we made a commitment and on this I think we both have an unsaid agreement that we want to stay together for our kids.

I think a lot of people move on quickly from one another. A lot of people value their own happiness v. their family/kids. There is absolutely a case to be made for modeling happiness and also the strong importance of mental and physical health yet I think a lot of people give up on their spouse too easily. Getting a divorce and the idea of starting anew with someone who can make you happier is always easier. Unless someone cheated on you and made a mistake and wants to leave you, I think forgiveness is a possible outcome of that if someone were inclined to want to do it. But in our society, it's all about independence, about "me" and about how it's the most important thing to be happy. I think that's a myth. In many cultures it's about sticking together through thick and thin. Previous American generations of DH and my parents did it. I think it helped our generation quite a bit. Security and family is a huge deal to a kid. I don't think it's never the right thing to stick together through everything and anything but I do think that culturally, we are taught that if there's any issue, leave and start anew is the first option always and I don't agree with that at all. Life just isn't all 100% good times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But let's continue to act like abortion services is about evil slutty women... Our society makes no sense. Two parent households are better, but we're going to force you have this baby and become a single mother (leaving the father off the hook entirely as we continue to deride single mothers as the problem) and then we're going to shame you for it by conducting a study that says you've done parenthood all wrong, when you may not have wanted to do it at all.

In other words Americans are hypocritical schizophrenics who have no idea what they want, what they value, or how to better their lives. Which, in turn, makes them very susceptible to all sorts of con men/women.

News at 11.

Abortion has been readily available for quite some time. Yet there are so many single parents. They didn't choose abortion, so that's not the issue here. It's weird that someone is assuming they would have aborted their child rather than raise in a single parent household when they had the chance and didn't.

No, abortion has never been “readily available” in many places, even pre-Dobbs. Nor has birth control.

Please. Most people are gladly having their kids. They wouldn't choose abortion anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We need to adequately and accurately prepare people for marriage and the rigors of family life. You know - bring people down to reality. I think Americans have a very ambitious view of marriage and partnership that rarely aligns with reality - hence so many are absolutely miserable. We need to better prepare young people for being heads of household. Our current navel-gazing/everyone is special/take me as I am/fragile culture is doing nobody any favors.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to hear one.single.word about 2-parent families come out of the mouth of anyone who does not also fully support full access to reproductive care.

There you go!!! Say it for the people in the back.

[Anonymous]

There are lots of things that are "ideal" in parenting. People just do the best they can.

You can't control other people, including spouses who decide to cheat or leave. I think everyone knows that two parent families are ideal but that doesn't stop adults from the selfish pursuit of whatever. And I don't think it ever did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But let's continue to act like abortion services is about evil slutty women... Our society makes no sense. Two parent households are better, but we're going to force you have this baby and become a single mother (leaving the father off the hook entirely as we continue to deride single mothers as the problem) and then we're going to shame you for it by conducting a study that says you've done parenthood all wrong, when you may not have wanted to do it at all.

In other words Americans are hypocritical schizophrenics who have no idea what they want, what they value, or how to better their lives. Which, in turn, makes them very susceptible to all sorts of con men/women.

News at 11.

Abortion has been readily available for quite some time. Yet there are so many single parents. They didn't choose abortion, so that's not the issue here. It's weird that someone is assuming they would have aborted their child rather than raise in a single parent household when they had the chance and didn't.

You don't know how many would be single moms aborted instead. Whether now or 100 years ago.

Is it better to kill the unborn or support women who find themselves facing this choice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daniel Patrick Moynihan said this 60 years ago and was derided for it. Turns out, he was a prophet.

You beat me to it! The progressive wing of the Democrat Party has done as much damage to this country as has MAGA/Tea Party/Freedom Caucus.