Throwing husband a bone?

[Anonymous]

In the "would you be upset with your husband over this" thread, quite a few posters mentioned that they thought the wife should have sex with her husband even if she doesn't want to, to keep him satisfied and from looking elsewhere. Do you really think the pressure should be on women to do this? Do men really want their wives to "put out" even if they're not in the mood?

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Yes, absolutely. It's part of the marital duty.

[Anonymous]

yes.

[Anonymous]

Nice thing for her to do but selfish thing for him to "expect".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, absolutely. It's part of the marital duty.

omg. You think people should have sex out of duty even when they don't want to? What is this, Victorian England? Just lay back and think of the empire dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, absolutely. It's part of the marital duty.

omg. You think people should have sex out of duty even when they don't want to? What is this, Victorian England? Just lay back and think of the empire dear.

Yes, I do. If not, just get the divorce.

Look, not talking about once in a while "not tonight dear, I have a headache." That's fine.

But routine and systemic rebuffs are absolutely cruel and a dereliction of marital duty.

[Anonymous]

I am one of the people who posted in that thread recommending it. While I don't think anyone should feel forced to do anything they don't want to do, sometimes I think it can help. In my own marriage, I make it a (tacit) rule to initiate twice a week. It's crazy how much of a difference it makes in his general mood and his treatment towards me. I guess if we go too long without it, we start to feel more like roommates and parenting partners than a romantic couple. I don't really know if this is common or not. I will say though that I when I hear people talking about only having sex once or twice a month or less, I don't know how their marriages survive long term (barring medical conditions, etc.).

[Anonymous]

DW here. If you are not sick or hurt in any way, there is no reason not to occasionally have sex just so your partner is happy and you feel connected. Hopefully this is not the only time you have sex!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, absolutely. It's part of the marital duty.

omg. You think people should have sex out of duty even when they don't want to? What is this, Victorian England? Just lay back and think of the empire dear.

Yes, I do. If not, just get the divorce.

Look, not talking about once in a while "not tonight dear, I have a headache." That's fine.

But routine and systemic rebuffs are absolutely cruel and a dereliction of marital duty.

If he seeks a divorce for this reason alone, he didn't love you much to begin with.

[Anonymous]

My husband throws me a bone every four or five days. He would be happy with sex three or four times a month, but knows I get cranky if it's too long. What he doesn't know is how frequently I have O's solo. He would be amazed. My sex drive has always been higher than his but now that we're in our 40s, his is still the same and mine is much higher.

I'm happy he agrees to have it even when he's not particularly in the mood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, absolutely. It's part of the marital duty.

omg. You think people should have sex out of duty even when they don't want to? What is this, Victorian England? Just lay back and think of the empire dear.

Yes, I do. If not, just get the divorce.

Look, not talking about once in a while "not tonight dear, I have a headache." That's fine.

But routine and systemic rebuffs are absolutely cruel and a dereliction of marital duty.

If he seeks a divorce for this reason alone, he didn't love you much to begin with.

My friend (female) got a divorce for this reason. It was way more than "her husband wasn't interested in sex". It was the constant rejection, the slow decline of affection, the fights that arose, the unwillingness of her husband to try to at least sometimes make his wife happy yet expecting his wife to make him happy (other ways). There are SO many issues that can arise from a sexless marriage that it is unfair to say that a spouse didn't love much to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Yes! It's part of being married! And it goes both ways,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the "would you be upset with your husband over this" thread, quite a few posters mentioned that they thought the wife should have sex with her husband even if she doesn't want to, to keep him satisfied and from looking elsewhere. Do you really think the pressure should be on women to do this? Do men really want their wives to "put out" even if they're not in the mood?

No, she shouldnt do it if she doesnt want to.
DH is an adult, he can deal.He should understand her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, absolutely. It's part of the marital duty.

omg. You think people should have sex out of duty even when they don't want to? What is this, Victorian England? Just lay back and think of the empire dear.

These woman are so insecure. They know hubby would dump them if they didnt put out. So they have sex out of fear and insecurity.
These are the same women who fear their spouse wont find them attractive if they gain weight, so they starve themselves to hang on to that man.

Sad for them.