Throwing husband a bone?

[Anonymous]

Hell no.

If a wife is not having sex w/her hubby, then there are issues in the marriage that need to be addressed sooner rather than later.

Sweeping them under the rug and pretending they do not exist is just asking for marital troubles later down the line.

[Anonymous]

I am really beginning to think that extramarital sex is the only solution for me, actually it may save my marriage.

I have been monogamy throughout my marriage, only to find the gap between my needs and their being met widening. I am often in bad mood, which DW does not understand or even care. Divorce is not an option now even though I have been thinking about it.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for monogamish.

I really don't understand those people - men or women - who deny their SO sexual satisfaction but completely lose it if the SO wants to get it somewhere else. Marriage does not equal a vow of celibacy.

[Anonymous]

Then get a divorce. Why is this difficult? Only scumbags cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then get a divorce. Why is this difficult? Only scumbags cheat.

There is the power disparity. Only scumbags cheat, but it's barely even objectionable to force your spouse to be sexless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then get a divorce. Why is this difficult? Only scumbags cheat.

There is the power disparity. Only scumbags cheat, but it's barely even objectionable to force your spouse to be sexless.

From this thread you can see that many do think that forcing your spouse to be sexless is objectionable. It is selfish, disrespectful and a sign of someone not committed to the marriage. But that doesn't make cheating any better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the "would you be upset with your husband over this" thread, quite a few posters mentioned that they thought the wife should have sex with her husband even if she doesn't want to, to keep him satisfied and from looking elsewhere. Do you really think the pressure should be on women to do this? Do men really want their wives to "put out" even if they're not in the mood?

Yes. Think about it, okay? Who else can (or should) fulfill the sexual needs of their partner?

The SO does. That is their duty. If you cannot, there should be other questions to be asking. But there is nothing wrong, degrading, or what not to fulfill the needs of another person if you dont feel like doing it yourself. Now, certainly, no rape should ever occur. Period. But seriously, I hate the double standard in our society's view. If a man wont have sex, bam! He has a sexual problem, and needs to take Viagra. If a woman has the same issue, bam! It's the man's fault for not mentally, emotionally, or what-the-fuck ever, stimulating her properly and not connecting. Fucking bullshit. If you got that far to be married, clearly he knows what to do to connect as does the woman. The upsetting thing is the clear lack of fundamental fairness. This is my second marriage. The first one was a disaster based on this BS. The problem is too that she had bad role models. No woman in her family treats men respectfully. So she had this idea that doing things for you partner for no other reason than being nice goes against the women's lib movement. My view is that men and women are equal. They just have different types of genitals.


As a man, and husband in my second marriage going on for 14.5 years now, I have performed sexual acts countless times purely out of the desire to make sure my wife is sexually satisfied. Do I feel like a used piece of meat? Fuck no. I am her husband. GET IT? That's part of your job. Yes, the football game is on. But what is more important? Besides, it makes her feel loved and fulfilled. That's what I do. That's what I'm supposed to do, and more importantly, it's what I want to do. Wife does the same to me. She knows that if we dont have sex for a while, she will initiate or at least do the sweet thing of asking me. It's no wonder I love her. The last marriage, fuck...that was a nightmare. No sex, no problem according to the ex, even if I told her that its been a month, WTF is going on(?). Could you imagine living with someone of the opposite sex, being heterosexual, and being told that you can't sleep with her nor anyone else? Yeah. That was the motto of the first marriage.

So moral of the story, sex is important. But so are other things. Second wife has other emotional needs that I don't really identify with, but guess what? I fucking listen to her. I turn off the GD football game, make eye contact and listen to her needs and fulfill them, even if I don't fucking get it. Why? Because I care. Simple as that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then get a divorce. Why is this difficult? Only scumbags cheat.

There is the power disparity. Only scumbags cheat, but it's barely even objectionable to force your spouse to be sexless.

From this thread you can see that many do think that forcing your spouse to be sexless is objectionable. It is selfish, disrespectful and a sign of someone not committed to the marriage. But that doesn't make cheating any better.

Lots do, you're right. But there are also some who seem to think that sex comes last. If everything isn't just right in the marriage, some spouses seem to feel perfectly justified in checking out of the sex life. The other spouse can just masturbate, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the "would you be upset with your husband over this" thread, quite a few posters mentioned that they thought the wife should have sex with her husband even if she doesn't want to, to keep him satisfied and from looking elsewhere. Do you really think the pressure should be on women to do this? Do men really want their wives to "put out" even if they're not in the mood?

Yes. Think about it, okay? Who else can (or should) fulfill the sexual needs of their partner?

The SO does. That is their duty. If you cannot, there should be other questions to be asking. But there is nothing wrong, degrading, or what not to fulfill the needs of another person if you dont feel like doing it yourself. Now, certainly, no rape should ever occur. Period. But seriously, I hate the double standard in our society's view. If a man wont have sex, bam! He has a sexual problem, and needs to take Viagra. If a woman has the same issue, bam! It's the man's fault for not mentally, emotionally, or what-the-fuck ever, stimulating her properly and not connecting. Fucking bullshit. If you got that far to be married, clearly he knows what to do to connect as does the woman. The upsetting thing is the clear lack of fundamental fairness. This is my second marriage. The first one was a disaster based on this BS. The problem is too that she had bad role models. No woman in her family treats men respectfully. So she had this idea that doing things for you partner for no other reason than being nice goes against the women's lib movement. My view is that men and women are equal. They just have different types of genitals.


As a man, and husband in my second marriage going on for 14.5 years now, I have performed sexual acts countless times purely out of the desire to make sure my wife is sexually satisfied. Do I feel like a used piece of meat? Fuck no. I am her husband. GET IT? That's part of your job. Yes, the football game is on. But what is more important? Besides, it makes her feel loved and fulfilled. That's what I do. That's what I'm supposed to do, and more importantly, it's what I want to do. Wife does the same to me. She knows that if we dont have sex for a while, she will initiate or at least do the sweet thing of asking me. It's no wonder I love her. The last marriage, fuck...that was a nightmare. No sex, no problem according to the ex, even if I told her that its been a month, WTF is going on(?). Could you imagine living with someone of the opposite sex, being heterosexual, and being told that you can't sleep with her nor anyone else? Yeah. That was the motto of the first marriage.

So moral of the story, sex is important. But so are other things. Second wife has other emotional needs that I don't really identify with, but guess what? I fucking listen to her. I turn off the GD football game, make eye contact and listen to her needs and fulfill them, even if I don't fucking get it. Why? Because I care. Simple as that.

Bwwahahahahahahahahaha...oh wait, I'm sorry--we're you being serious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then get a divorce. Why is this difficult? Only scumbags cheat.

There is the power disparity. Only scumbags cheat, but it's barely even objectionable to force your spouse to be sexless.

From this thread you can see that many do think that forcing your spouse to be sexless is objectionable. It is selfish, disrespectful and a sign of someone not committed to the marriage. But that doesn't make cheating any better.

Lots do, you're right. But there are also some who seem to think that sex comes last. If everything isn't just right in the marriage, some spouses seem to feel perfectly justified in checking out of the sex life. The other spouse can just masturbate, right?

If my spouse is checked out in every other area of our marriage, there shouldn't be an expectation that I'm checked in for sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then get a divorce. Why is this difficult? Only scumbags cheat.

There is the power disparity. Only scumbags cheat, but it's barely even objectionable to force your spouse to be sexless.

From this thread you can see that many do think that forcing your spouse to be sexless is objectionable. It is selfish, disrespectful and a sign of someone not committed to the marriage. But that doesn't make cheating any better.

Lots do, you're right. But there are also some who seem to think that sex comes last. If everything isn't just right in the marriage, some spouses seem to feel perfectly justified in checking out of the sex life. The other spouse can just masturbate, right?

If my spouse is checked out in every other area of our marriage, there shouldn't be an expectation that I'm checked in for sex.

Why are you married if you're both checked out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am really beginning to think that extramarital sex is the only solution for me, actually it may save my marriage.

I have been monogamy throughout my marriage, only to find the gap between my needs and their being met widening. I am often in bad mood, which DW does not understand or even care. Divorce is not an option now even though I have been thinking about it.

That was the solution for me. I'm in a much better mood and can deal with H a lot better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then get a divorce. Why is this difficult? Only scumbags cheat.

Because marriage is about more than sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am really beginning to think that extramarital sex is the only solution for me, actually it may save my marriage.

I have been monogamy throughout my marriage, only to find the gap between my needs and their being met widening. I am often in bad mood, which DW does not understand or even care. Divorce is not an option now even though I have been thinking about it.

That was the solution for me. I'm in a much better mood and can deal with H a lot better.

Why are you married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then get a divorce. Why is this difficult? Only scumbags cheat.

There is the power disparity. Only scumbags cheat, but it's barely even objectionable to force your spouse to be sexless.

From this thread you can see that many do think that forcing your spouse to be sexless is objectionable. It is selfish, disrespectful and a sign of someone not committed to the marriage. But that doesn't make cheating any better.

Lots do, you're right. But there are also some who seem to think that sex comes last. If everything isn't just right in the marriage, some spouses seem to feel perfectly justified in checking out of the sex life. The other spouse can just masturbate, right?

If my spouse is checked out in every other area of our marriage, there shouldn't be an expectation that I'm checked in for sex.

Nice straw man. What if your spouse is doing well in lots of areas but you're pissed off about a couple. What's the status on sex in that situation? He's frozen out until you get compliance?