Help me decide what to do?????

[Anonymous]

Please I'm only looking for helpful advice and not looking to have negative comments thrown at me. I'm trying to find my way just like everyone else and could use some helpful advice. Not be judged and belittled.

Three months ago I was working two jobs, one fulltime and one part time and was fully able to support myself, until I was unexpectedly laid off and only left with the part time job and bills I couldn't afford. In ways my family has been helpful but in others they haven't. I need help deciding what to do from here.

My grandmother has been helping me supplement my bills since I no longer make enough to pay my rent. She also pays for my school. I used to live with her before I moved but it never works out so moving with her is not a option. She lives to far out, I don't drive and a personalities crash whenever we are around each other for too long. While she is finically she's helpiful, emotionally she's not. She constantally puts me down, rubs in my face that's she helping me and nags me to no end. But I can't walk away because I still need her help since my mom is pretty much non helpful.

I have already planning to try and move to a more affordable living situation and applying for more jobs daily. My question is how can I accept her help but from a distantace so I can try and get myself together. For a long time I have been used to being babied and I would like to find my own way and work towards my relationship with my family when I'm ready. I'm thinking of sending her a email to ask her if she can please deposit her monthly contributions in to my accounts monthly until I get on my feet. Also if you can help pay for school that's great since it's helping towards my future. But other than that I'd like my space.

To answer any further questions:

I'm 23
I have no kids
My current job only brings in about $400 dollars a month
My mother has is no helpful and her place is to small for me to move with her and my dad is non existent
My family is pretty small and I have no one else who can help me.

[Anonymous]

Um, yeah, I don't think you can demand that your grandmother deposit money in your account but otherwise leave you alone.

For want are you going to school? College ? Major?

[Anonymous]

I'm in school for Nursing....I don't know what else to do because emotionally she's really not being helpful and she's dragging me down even further but I still need some support. Our relationship is in shambles as it is and we both just need space I just don't know.

[Anonymous]

Wait, you want her to deposit money for you in an account so that you don't have to see her at all? Is that what you're asking? If so I don't think that's going to work. You're going to have to suck it up and see her every once in awhile if you want to take her money.

[Anonymous]

Money comes with strings. Your granny feels she is investing in you, and as such, she has a literal vested interest in how you're living your life.

Move to a place that costs less. Maybe you need to take a semester off from school? Try different ways of finding a job - try different jobs. The holidays are coming - offer yourself up as a personal shopper, for example. Think outside the box.

[Anonymous]

How much money is she giving you and is it worth it to you emotionally?

Have you looked at your finances and figured out if you can make it without grandma's money? Seriously - as in roommate, cheaper apartment, getting a second PT job instead?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, you want her to deposit money for you in an account so that you don't have to see her at all? Is that what you're asking? If so I don't think that's going to work. You're going to have to suck it up and see her every once in awhile if you want to take her money.

Yup this. You either see her and get money, or you don't and figure it out on your own. Additionally to ask her to deposit money to pay for school is beyond ridiculous. And that is where I'll stop since I'm trying to be nice here.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't give me the money....I give her what I have and she writes the check and gives it to my landlord which is also far more involvement then I wanted her to have. Whenever I try to have her step back and do things myself she always becomes to invasive and steps ion and controls and gets mad when things don't go exactly her way which causes conflicts. I never wanted my landlord to even know she's helping me with my rent and now every little thing she's involved....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, you want her to deposit money for you in an account so that you don't have to see her at all? Is that what you're asking? If so I don't think that's going to work. You're going to have to suck it up and see her every once in awhile if you want to take her money.

Yup this. You either see her and get money, or you don't and figure it out on your own. Additionally to ask her to deposit money to pay for school is beyond ridiculous. And that is where I'll stop since I'm trying to be nice here.

So what would you do in my shoes....sit around and keep dealing with emotional abuse....I'm trying to prevent this from going further while still being respectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't give me the money....I give her what I have and she writes the check and gives it to my landlord which is also far more involvement then I wanted her to have. Whenever I try to have her step back and do things myself she always becomes to invasive and steps ion and controls and gets mad when things don't go exactly her way which causes conflicts. I never wanted my landlord to even know she's helping me with my rent and now every little thing she's involved....

If she's supplying the money, she has a right to be involved. Sorry, that is how it works. Sounds like you just want to take advantage of your grandmother. You're going to make a great nurse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, you want her to deposit money for you in an account so that you don't have to see her at all? Is that what you're asking? If so I don't think that's going to work. You're going to have to suck it up and see her every once in awhile if you want to take her money.

Yup this. You either see her and get money, or you don't and figure it out on your own. Additionally to ask her to deposit money to pay for school is beyond ridiculous. And that is where I'll stop since I'm trying to be nice here.

So what would you do in my shoes....sit around and keep dealing with emotional abuse....I'm trying to prevent this from going further while still being respectful.

I'd take a semester off from school and get some work. I'd move. I'd do whatever it took. But no, I wouldn't take advantage of my grandmother. You are so beyond immature it isn't even funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, you want her to deposit money for you in an account so that you don't have to see her at all? Is that what you're asking? If so I don't think that's going to work. You're going to have to suck it up and see her every once in awhile if you want to take her money.

Yup this. You either see her and get money, or you don't and figure it out on your own. Additionally to ask her to deposit money to pay for school is beyond ridiculous. And that is where I'll stop since I'm trying to be nice here.

So what would you do in my shoes....sit around and keep dealing with emotional abuse....I'm trying to prevent this from going further while still being respectful.

I'd take a semester off from school and get some work. I'd move. I'd do whatever it took. But no, I wouldn't take advantage of my grandmother. You are so beyond immature it isn't even funny.

+1 Yup, it's time to grow up and make it on your own. It sucks to be responsible, but that is part of becoming mature and a productive person in society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't give me the money....I give her what I have and she writes the check and gives it to my landlord which is also far more involvement then I wanted her to have. Whenever I try to have her step back and do things myself she always becomes to invasive and steps ion and controls and gets mad when things don't go exactly her way which causes conflicts. I never wanted my landlord to even know she's helping me with my rent and now every little thing she's involved....

If she's supplying the money, she has a right to be involved. Sorry, that is how it works. Sounds like you just want to take advantage of your grandmother. You're going to make a great nurse

Look, I'm not taking advantage of her. At any times I give her and the rest of my family what I can but since I lost my full time job I can't....Since the age of 16 I've always been willing to get up off my ass and work. While me and my grandmother have our differences this is why she helps me also because I have no one else. She knows in a heartbeat I'm willing to work 3+ jobs to make ends meet but this time around I can't find anything.

I wish you would take your negative ass off my post because you know nothing of what you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, you want her to deposit money for you in an account so that you don't have to see her at all? Is that what you're asking? If so I don't think that's going to work. You're going to have to suck it up and see her every once in awhile if you want to take her money.

Yup this. You either see her and get money, or you don't and figure it out on your own. Additionally to ask her to deposit money to pay for school is beyond ridiculous. And that is where I'll stop since I'm trying to be nice here.

So what would you do in my shoes....sit around and keep dealing with emotional abuse....I'm trying to prevent this from going further while still being respectful.

I'd take a semester off from school and get some work. I'd move. I'd do whatever it took. But no, I wouldn't take advantage of my grandmother. You are so beyond immature it isn't even funny.

+1 Yup, it's time to grow up and make it on your own. It sucks to be responsible, but that is part of becoming mature and a productive person in society.

This is also a good lesson in teaching yourself not to ask favors or money from people who you feel are abusing you. If someone is abusive, you should not want their money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't give me the money....I give her what I have and she writes the check and gives it to my landlord which is also far more involvement then I wanted her to have. Whenever I try to have her step back and do things myself she always becomes to invasive and steps ion and controls and gets mad when things don't go exactly her way which causes conflicts. I never wanted my landlord to even know she's helping me with my rent and now every little thing she's involved....

If she's supplying the money, she has a right to be involved. Sorry, that is how it works. Sounds like you just want to take advantage of your grandmother. You're going to make a great nurse

Look, I'm not taking advantage of her. At any times I give her and the rest of my family what I can but since I lost my full time job I can't....Since the age of 16 I've always been willing to get up off my ass and work. While me and my grandmother have our differences this is why she helps me also because I have no one else. She knows in a heartbeat I'm willing to work 3+ jobs to make ends meet but this time around I can't find anything.

I wish you would take your negative ass off my post because you know nothing of what you're talking about.

You also seem to fail to understand that if she is giving you the money for rent and other things, she has a right to make sure that is where her money is going. And do you honestly not see how emailing her to ask her to pay for school and please just put it right into my account is beyond rude? Nurses require critical thinking. You seem to lack that. If you want your grandmother's help, you need to make time to see her (even if it is for dinner once a month). Otherwise, take a semester off from school and work. Find a roommate, figure out how to make it work. Other people do and since you seem to have a good work ethic, you can do it too. But asking your grandmother to direct deposit money and asking for MORE money but wanting her to have no part of your life other than being a bank is immature and rude.