Help me decide what to do?????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you are spoiled. No one in my family gave me cent when I was in my 20s. Your grandmother is not your servant, she doesn't have to give you money and she doesn't have to do what you tell her to do with her money. It sounds like she has some concerns about just handing you a check. Maybe she wants to see you, maybe she wants to keep in touch and make sure you are okay, maybe she wants to be sure that her money only goes to the landlord and to tuition.

If you don't want your landlord knowing about your finances - then pay your rent yourself. You sounds incredibly ungrateful, entitled and obnoxious. If I was in your family I wouldn't trust you with money either, based on what you have written here.

Bullshit. You never were taken to dinner in your 20's, you never went home and got a meal, you never went on vacation with your family. You are a bitch leave OP alone.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are not spoiled and I think you are doing the best you can under the circumstances. I am sorry you don't have family to provide you with moral and some financial support. You remind me of a niece who was in school and struggling financially to support herself. She had two deadbeat parents and a controlling grandmother with money. My DH and I stepped in and provided her with housing, invited her to live with us while she was in school. After she graduated I got her a job at my company. She's in graduate school now, financing it through loans, but I told her she is welcome to continue staying with us. She is still working her full time job I helped her get. I can tell having family support from family members who give her unconditional love gives her a lot of relief. I don't have any particular advice. Just be strong and hang in there. This too shall pass.

[Anonymous]

1. Your school has a counseling center. For example, at UDC, http://www.udc.edu/csdc/services. Google the name of your school and counseling. Call them immediately and make an appointment for counseling. You are poor, alone and abused. You need help, don't be afraid of counseling. You need to go to counseling at least once a week until you are back on your feet.

2. Your grandmother will never trust you to pay the rent. Why? Because she probably lent money to your mom and dad for rent and they used it for something else. It is not about you. Continue to give her the money and let her pay rent. It's not that she does not trust you it is that she does not trust anybody.

3. You need to get a grant or loan or scholarship. Hopefully, your counselor can help you with this but if they can't contact your academic advisor for help.

4. Most people don't talk to their parents a whole bunch when they are at college, mostly they call every Sunday to check in. Call you grandmother every Sunday night, tell her you love her and you appreciate her and that you are working your hardest to be on your own. Ask her how her week was and listen to her complain. Tell her something positive that happened to you that week. Keep the negative stuff for your counselor. Keep it short and sweet. Tell her you love her and appreciate her before you hang up. Say a prayer every time you hang up, I know the negative and abusive words are hard but you can do this.

5. Good Luck! Many of us have done exactly what you are doing, nobody... nobody did it on their own. I have worked since I was 12, I paid for my college, I have always supported myself and I do now but I would never... never.. never say I did it on my own. Everybody needs a teacher, mentor, friend, family, somebody to help them at some point in their life. IT'S OKAY TO NEED HELP.

6. You said that you have been "babied" up until now and you want to mature. You will but you need counseling. 23 is just barely an adult and most of the people on this site were not mature at 23.

Good Luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you are spoiled. No one in my family gave me cent when I was in my 20s. Your grandmother is not your servant, she doesn't have to give you money and she doesn't have to do what you tell her to do with her money. It sounds like she has some concerns about just handing you a check. Maybe she wants to see you, maybe she wants to keep in touch and make sure you are okay, maybe she wants to be sure that her money only goes to the landlord and to tuition.

If you don't want your landlord knowing about your finances - then pay your rent yourself. You sounds incredibly ungrateful, entitled and obnoxious. If I was in your family I wouldn't trust you with money either, based on what you have written here.

What the hell is your problem, Bitter Apple?

Just because no one was there to give your sorry ass a lifting hand when the cold world was shitting on you doesn't mean you need to go through life spitting on others in the same predicament. She has a nosy, unpleasant granny who cuts checks. Old, controlling people with money can drive you absolutely bonkers, and she is not in a situation where she is self-sufficient, partly due to the shitty economy, partly due to her desire to further her education.

Just because you have to rely on family at times to...errr...pay basic rent and put food in your mouth when you are young does NOT make you spoiled. Relying on your parents to buy you a new Bentley because you turned 18 and pitching a fit because it's not the right color is spoiled.

Do you even know what "spoiled" is? Needing a helping hand once in a while to not starve is NOT spoiled, you know.

What were you, an institutionalized Eastern European orphan or something? Develop some empathy, fool.

Cheese Lady.

p.s. not to make light of RAD...

[Anonymous]

I think you need to take out student loans and focus on finishing school. A nursing degree will give an okay salary in this area to repay student loans. At 23 you need to settle down and just finish.

[Anonymous]

You are spoiled and sound extremely entitled.

[Anonymous]

Op you are spoiled. No one in my family gave me cent when I was in my 20s. Your grandmother is not your servant, she doesn't have to give you money and she doesn't have to do what you tell her to do with her money. It sounds like she has some concerns about just handing you a check. Maybe she wants to see you, maybe she wants to keep in touch and make sure you are okay, maybe she wants to be sure that her money only goes to the landlord and to tuition.

If you don't want your landlord knowing about your finances - then pay your rent yourself. You sounds incredibly ungrateful, entitled and obnoxious. If I was in your family I wouldn't trust you with money either, based on what you have written here.

This exactly. No one owes you a living, OP, and your grandmother is doing you a favor. You should be bending over backwards to meet her requirements if you want her money. If you don't want her money, take time off, get another job...do whatever you can to not rely on other people. You are an adult and capable of supporting yourself. Maybe not in the way you want to and on the trajectory you planned, but tough things happen and you need to adjust.