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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They won't. I don't understand why, but it's the same at FCV.

It was the Same at McLean. It's not on the coaches, these are the top clubs in our area, they are the standard in NV. They are expected to win, if you do not want you're child in that environment, take you're kid somewhere a little less competitive where they will play and enjoy the experience. As a parent you chose to put them in that highly competitive environment

But you to the meetings and they tell gou its all about development of the players.
I guess its accepted that they lie to the parents.

Players develop in training do they not? You seem like you lack any sort of soccer knowledge , lucky BRYC having to deal with you, I'm sure you would fit in at WSVA with our crazies

And development needs game experience. At some point, your child will start to get old enough to realize they spent their youth "preparing" to play and "developing" to get better but never got to spend enough quality time actually on the field. Let's be clear. If by high school, your kid is at BRYC (or FCV or anywhere) and not
seeing time, That is unlikely to change at whatever current club with whatever current team.

My daughter plays for FCV, there are kids on her team that should not be playing at that level, and I feel bad for the coach and the other players when he has to play those kids. i would imagine it is the same at BRYC and McLean, I am sure all of the coaches at those clubs would rather not carry players that can't contribute at the level they play at. They are probably told how many players they have to take.

It's possible. Some may feel bad, and some don't care. The parents though should have a real conversation with their DDs instead of pretending that is a form of success.

Clearly, you know whats best for everybody.
We are lucky to have you.

I see I have hit a nerve. Honest conversations aren't harmful. Sometimes a player drops back, and finds joy in seeing more time on the field. Sometimes a player starts training beyond the club practices and gets better. Many things can happen, but to defend 6+ years watching other kids play, why?

You have. This is either a parent who has a DD riding pine for a “better” club than another she could start on, or someone sympathetic to the cause of concentrating talent on such a “worthy” club. There are only a few such clubs in this area, so you can guess which they are. I agree with you that it’s foolish for those who are ignored on these clubs not to seek out starting positions with other clubs. Playing in actual games is just as impactful to development than training in non-game situations. And heck, it might actually elevate the entire level of local soccer if the best 11 were starting on every elite level club in the area vs having these pockets where very good players sit.

I’m not sure otherwise why the oracles here who are trying to label you as such are trying to refute an argument that makes so much sense so loudly.

So in your perfect world, each team has a roster of 12 or 13 in case of injury and the talent is spread thin because everyone wants to be top dog on a team? Brilliant. Because that’s how the world really works said no one ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They won't. I don't understand why, but it's the same at FCV.

It was the Same at McLean. It's not on the coaches, these are the top clubs in our area, they are the standard in NV. They are expected to win, if you do not want you're child in that environment, take you're kid somewhere a little less competitive where they will play and enjoy the experience. As a parent you chose to put them in that highly competitive environment

But you to the meetings and they tell gou its all about development of the players.
I guess its accepted that they lie to the parents.

Players develop in training do they not? You seem like you lack any sort of soccer knowledge , lucky BRYC having to deal with you, I'm sure you would fit in at WSVA with our crazies

And development needs game experience. At some point, your child will start to get old enough to realize they spent their youth "preparing" to play and "developing" to get better but never got to spend enough quality time actually on the field. Let's be clear. If by high school, your kid is at BRYC (or FCV or anywhere) and not
seeing time, That is unlikely to change at whatever current club with whatever current team.

My daughter plays for FCV, there are kids on her team that should not be playing at that level, and I feel bad for the coach and the other players when he has to play those kids. i would imagine it is the same at BRYC and McLean, I am sure all of the coaches at those clubs would rather not carry players that can't contribute at the level they play at. They are probably told how many players they have to take.

It's possible. Some may feel bad, and some don't care. The parents though should have a real conversation with their DDs instead of pretending that is a form of success.

Clearly, you know whats best for everybody.
We are lucky to have you.

I see I have hit a nerve. Honest conversations aren't harmful. Sometimes a player drops back, and finds joy in seeing more time on the field. Sometimes a player starts training beyond the club practices and gets better. Many things can happen, but to defend 6+ years watching other kids play, why?

You have. This is either a parent who has a DD riding pine for a “better” club than another she could start on, or someone sympathetic to the cause of concentrating talent on such a “worthy” club. There are only a few such clubs in this area, so you can guess which they are. I agree with you that it’s foolish for those who are ignored on these clubs not to seek out starting positions with other clubs. Playing in actual games is just as impactful to development than training in non-game situations. And heck, it might actually elevate the entire level of local soccer if the best 11 were starting on every elite level club in the area vs having these pockets where very good players sit.

I’m not sure otherwise why the oracles here who are trying to label you as such are trying to refute an argument that makes so much sense so loudly.

So in your perfect world, each team has a roster of 12 or 13 in case of injury and the talent is spread thin because everyone wants to be top dog on a team? Brilliant. Because that’s how the world really works said no one ever.

Stop coming up with straw man arguments. There are actually a lot of players who are not in the ECNL/DA system now who could fill rosters for that role, not to mention those who are displaced at the other clubs in their current roles, assuming a zero sum change in total players inside the system. I do not believe that any club should expect that their 12-18/20 players should be as good as their 1-11 players, no. That’s the definition of wasting kids’ talent that the previous poster alluded to.

You aren’t very bright, are you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They won't. I don't understand why, but it's the same at FCV.

It was the Same at McLean. It's not on the coaches, these are the top clubs in our area, they are the standard in NV. They are expected to win, if you do not want you're child in that environment, take you're kid somewhere a little less competitive where they will play and enjoy the experience. As a parent you chose to put them in that highly competitive environment

But you to the meetings and they tell gou its all about development of the players.
I guess its accepted that they lie to the parents.

Players develop in training do they not? You seem like you lack any sort of soccer knowledge , lucky BRYC having to deal with you, I'm sure you would fit in at WSVA with our crazies

And development needs game experience. At some point, your child will start to get old enough to realize they spent their youth "preparing" to play and "developing" to get better but never got to spend enough quality time actually on the field. Let's be clear. If by high school, your kid is at BRYC (or FCV or anywhere) and not
seeing time, That is unlikely to change at whatever current club with whatever current team.

My daughter plays for FCV, there are kids on her team that should not be playing at that level, and I feel bad for the coach and the other players when he has to play those kids. i would imagine it is the same at BRYC and McLean, I am sure all of the coaches at those clubs would rather not carry players that can't contribute at the level they play at. They are probably told how many players they have to take.

It's possible. Some may feel bad, and some don't care. The parents though should have a real conversation with their DDs instead of pretending that is a form of success.

Clearly, you know whats best for everybody.
We are lucky to have you.

I see I have hit a nerve. Honest conversations aren't harmful. Sometimes a player drops back, and finds joy in seeing more time on the field. Sometimes a player starts training beyond the club practices and gets better. Many things can happen, but to defend 6+ years watching other kids play, why?

You have. This is either a parent who has a DD riding pine for a “better” club than another she could start on, or someone sympathetic to the cause of concentrating talent on such a “worthy” club. There are only a few such clubs in this area, so you can guess which they are. I agree with you that it’s foolish for those who are ignored on these clubs not to seek out starting positions with other clubs. Playing in actual games is just as impactful to development than training in non-game situations. And heck, it might actually elevate the entire level of local soccer if the best 11 were starting on every elite level club in the area vs having these pockets where very good players sit.

I’m not sure otherwise why the oracles here who are trying to label you as such are trying to refute an argument that makes so much sense so loudly.

So in your perfect world, each team has a roster of 12 or 13 in case of injury and the talent is spread thin because everyone wants to be top dog on a team? Brilliant. Because that’s how the world really works said no one ever.

Stop coming up with straw man arguments. There are actually a lot of players who are not in the ECNL/DA system now who could fill rosters for that role, not to mention those who are displaced at the other clubs in their current roles, assuming a zero sum change in total players inside the system. I do not believe that any club should expect that their 12-18/20 players should be as good as their 1-11 players, no. That’s the definition of wasting kids’ talent that the previous poster alluded to.

You aren’t very bright, are you.

So your theory is that the #12-18 players that are currently at DA or ECNL should leave to go get minutes somewhere else but the players outside of GDA and ECNL should come in and HAPPILY fill those reserve spots to sit the bench and not play? Why didn't I think of that? Guess I am not bright enough. You are also using straw man argument incorrectly. Just because you hear it a lot on tv and social media, you should understand what it means when using it yourself.

You started with no players should be happy not playing enough minutes on a top team, then you went to lesser players would be more than happy to join that team and not play any minutes. So what exactly are you advocating for here. Help us low-IQ folks out since we cannot understand the brilliance of your posts. Is that a straw man argument too? Or a strawberry? I am not that bright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They won't. I don't understand why, but it's the same at FCV.

It was the Same at McLean. It's not on the coaches, these are the top clubs in our area, they are the standard in NV. They are expected to win, if you do not want you're child in that environment, take you're kid somewhere a little less competitive where they will play and enjoy the experience. As a parent you chose to put them in that highly competitive environment

But you to the meetings and they tell gou its all about development of the players.
I guess its accepted that they lie to the parents.

Players develop in training do they not? You seem like you lack any sort of soccer knowledge , lucky BRYC having to deal with you, I'm sure you would fit in at WSVA with our crazies

And development needs game experience. At some point, your child will start to get old enough to realize they spent their youth "preparing" to play and "developing" to get better but never got to spend enough quality time actually on the field. Let's be clear. If by high school, your kid is at BRYC (or FCV or anywhere) and not
seeing time, That is unlikely to change at whatever current club with whatever current team.

My daughter plays for FCV, there are kids on her team that should not be playing at that level, and I feel bad for the coach and the other players when he has to play those kids. i would imagine it is the same at BRYC and McLean, I am sure all of the coaches at those clubs would rather not carry players that can't contribute at the level they play at. They are probably told how many players they have to take.

It's possible. Some may feel bad, and some don't care. The parents though should have a real conversation with their DDs instead of pretending that is a form of success.

Clearly, you know whats best for everybody.
We are lucky to have you.

I see I have hit a nerve. Honest conversations aren't harmful. Sometimes a player drops back, and finds joy in seeing more time on the field. Sometimes a player starts training beyond the club practices and gets better. Many things can happen, but to defend 6+ years watching other kids play, why?

You have. This is either a parent who has a DD riding pine for a “better” club than another she could start on, or someone sympathetic to the cause of concentrating talent on such a “worthy” club. There are only a few such clubs in this area, so you can guess which they are. I agree with you that it’s foolish for those who are ignored on these clubs not to seek out starting positions with other clubs. Playing in actual games is just as impactful to development than training in non-game situations. And heck, it might actually elevate the entire level of local soccer if the best 11 were starting on every elite level club in the area vs having these pockets where very good players sit.

I’m not sure otherwise why the oracles here who are trying to label you as such are trying to refute an argument that makes so much sense so loudly.

So in your perfect world, each team has a roster of 12 or 13 in case of injury and the talent is spread thin because everyone wants to be top dog on a team? Brilliant. Because that’s how the world really works said no one ever.

Stop coming up with straw man arguments. There are actually a lot of players who are not in the ECNL/DA system now who could fill rosters for that role, not to mention those who are displaced at the other clubs in their current roles, assuming a zero sum change in total players inside the system. I do not believe that any club should expect that their 12-18/20 players should be as good as their 1-11 players, no. That’s the definition of wasting kids’ talent that the previous poster alluded to.

You aren’t very bright, are you.

So your theory is that the #12-18 players that are currently at DA or ECNL should leave to go get minutes somewhere else but the players outside of GDA and ECNL should come in and HAPPILY fill those reserve spots to sit the bench and not play? Why didn't I think of that? Guess I am not bright enough. You are also using straw man argument incorrectly. Just because you hear it a lot on tv and social media, you should understand what it means when using it yourself.

You started with no players should be happy not playing enough minutes on a top team, then you went to lesser players would be more than happy to join that team and not play any minutes. So what exactly are you advocating for here. Help us low-IQ folks out since we cannot understand the brilliance of your posts. Is that a straw man argument too? Or a strawberry? I am not that bright.

Yes, you are clearly an idiot based on your response.

Straw man argument means you make a fictitious opposing argument to knock down, which is what you did in your initial response. The OP made no argument of the sort re:12-13 man rosters. Then, even assuming a closed system, if players 12-18 on FCV for example, were to displace players 1-11 at VDA (not saying this is realistic, just an example), the VDA players, who are the less talented players in this example, could replace positions 12-18 on the FCV banch with no additional, outside input. Is that clear enough for your brain to process?

Further, I'm not the poster who started this debate, but he/she is correct and your arguments are weak. Those deserving players on the bench of your favorite team should take the chance to start elsewhere and further their development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people don't understand what time wasted is. If your daughter is on a team and doesn't play at 13 years old or 12 or whatever because shes not good enough fine! Thats not a life lesson, we're old enough to know about life lessons. If a club traps you to join a elite club then guess what? You actually think you're DD is elite level. You drive for hours for a year to not watch her play thats a life lesson? Its sad to the people that understand thats 1 year wasted that you will never get back because a club LIED. Clubs should be honest and say your D isn't good enough if you want to waste your money fine but she WILL be on the bench all year. You're saying just try it out and oh well its just a year to live and learn? And we're wrong if we pull mid season? Ok right

Both can be right. What the issue is here is that posters like you come here telling everyone else what THEIR situation is all about while you really have no idea of each player’s situation. Hate to break it to you, but you’re far from a soccer Oracle my friend. You have so much to learn about this game and you are too arrogant to see that.

But don’t let this stop you. Tell us how you’ve touched a nerve or something else witty. You should write a book with all this knowledge. It pays better than this forum.

You are personalizing and mixing up posters. No one said toa s specific poster, you sir/ma'am should do so and so. Posters, me included, talked about what we find valuable in youth soccer. There are many ways to learn life lessons. I don't find value in my DD playing 5 minutes a game for 6 years AS valuable as moving to another club where she will see a hell of a lot more minutes. If you do, go for it buddy.

I will tell you though based on years of this, if you are thinking a 5 minute player at U13 turns into a starter by U17, that almost never ever happens within the same club .

Many factors go into college soccer and one is playing time. I know college players who picked programs based on where they thought they could play. Most kids don't get full rides, so UVA, great, but if a kid will never ever play at UVA, it's not wrong to go to VA Tech and get on the field.

It's like: would you rather be an intern forever or go somewhere you could make partner? Isn't that a life lesson?

[Anonymous]

Generally, playing time is valuable and motivating, so advice is to find the best fit for your DD where they get at least 50% playing time or more but are also competitively challenged by their teammates, level of opponents, and of course coaches.

But, if DD is being selected to YNT, and this is a dream of his/hers, then any toe in the door is a good one whether they play or not. If this is your dream and not his/hers, then please save your kid's time and save your money and leave the slot for a kid that really wants it.

As far as favoritism in YNT selections / scouting … yes it exists, as it does it many other avenues of life. If nothing else, it is a good life lesson as it will likely be encountered in school, at work, in families, etc. Not saying it is right, just saying that it is what it is so learn to live with it while still striving to minimize it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people don't understand what time wasted is. If your daughter is on a team and doesn't play at 13 years old or 12 or whatever because shes not good enough fine! Thats not a life lesson, we're old enough to know about life lessons. If a club traps you to join a elite club then guess what? You actually think you're DD is elite level. You drive for hours for a year to not watch her play thats a life lesson? Its sad to the people that understand thats 1 year wasted that you will never get back because a club LIED. Clubs should be honest and say your D isn't good enough if you want to waste your money fine but she WILL be on the bench all year. You're saying just try it out and oh well its just a year to live and learn? And we're wrong if we pull mid season? Ok right

Both can be right. What the issue is here is that posters like you come here telling everyone else what THEIR situation is all about while you really have no idea of each player’s situation. Hate to break it to you, but you’re far from a soccer Oracle my friend. You have so much to learn about this game and you are too arrogant to see that.

But don’t let this stop you. Tell us how you’ve touched a nerve or something else witty. You should write a book with all this knowledge. It pays better than this forum.

You are personalizing and mixing up posters. No one said toa s specific poster, you sir/ma'am should do so and so. Posters, me included, talked about what we find valuable in youth soccer. There are many ways to learn life lessons. I don't find value in my DD playing 5 minutes a game for 6 years AS valuable as moving to another club where she will see a hell of a lot more minutes. If you do, go for it buddy.

I will tell you though based on years of this, if you are thinking a 5 minute player at U13 turns into a starter by U17, that almost never ever happens within the same club .

Many factors go into college soccer and one is playing time. I know college players who picked programs based on where they thought they could play. Most kids don't get full rides, so UVA, great, but if a kid will never ever play at UVA, it's not wrong to go to VA Tech and get on the field.

It's like: would you rather be an intern forever or go somewhere you could make partner? Isn't that a life lesson?

But won't there always be a need for interns or players 12-18 on a roster? You guys want to cut and run when things are hard. That is not an approach I can subscribe to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people don't understand what time wasted is. If your daughter is on a team and doesn't play at 13 years old or 12 or whatever because shes not good enough fine! Thats not a life lesson, we're old enough to know about life lessons. If a club traps you to join a elite club then guess what? You actually think you're DD is elite level. You drive for hours for a year to not watch her play thats a life lesson? Its sad to the people that understand thats 1 year wasted that you will never get back because a club LIED. Clubs should be honest and say your D isn't good enough if you want to waste your money fine but she WILL be on the bench all year. You're saying just try it out and oh well its just a year to live and learn? And we're wrong if we pull mid season? Ok right

If your DD plays DA/ECNL in this area, the coach believed in her ability enough to have her on the team, thinking she could contribute and play. To me, that is a coach showing confidence in a player. No sane coach takes a player intending she never plays. If her play doesn't develop over the course of the year relative to all other kids on the team, and she doesn't EARN time, that has nothing to do with a coach lying, it has to do with DD's play. Over the years, I've seen far too many parents with no objectivity over-value DD's playing ability, even when they're told the exact things that need improvement. They move DD to a different club and experience the same thing - and end up either getting cut, missing friends, moving yet again, or still earning limited playing time. At some point the parent has to realize it isn't about coaches lying as it is DD's play itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people don't understand what time wasted is. If your daughter is on a team and doesn't play at 13 years old or 12 or whatever because shes not good enough fine! Thats not a life lesson, we're old enough to know about life lessons. If a club traps you to join a elite club then guess what? You actually think you're DD is elite level. You drive for hours for a year to not watch her play thats a life lesson? Its sad to the people that understand thats 1 year wasted that you will never get back because a club LIED. Clubs should be honest and say your D isn't good enough if you want to waste your money fine but she WILL be on the bench all year. You're saying just try it out and oh well its just a year to live and learn? And we're wrong if we pull mid season? Ok right

Both can be right. What the issue is here is that posters like you come here telling everyone else what THEIR situation is all about while you really have no idea of each player’s situation. Hate to break it to you, but you’re far from a soccer Oracle my friend. You have so much to learn about this game and you are too arrogant to see that.

But don’t let this stop you. Tell us how you’ve touched a nerve or something else witty. You should write a book with all this knowledge. It pays better than this forum.

You are personalizing and mixing up posters. No one said toa s specific poster, you sir/ma'am should do so and so. Posters, me included, talked about what we find valuable in youth soccer. There are many ways to learn life lessons. I don't find value in my DD playing 5 minutes a game for 6 years AS valuable as moving to another club where she will see a hell of a lot more minutes. If you do, go for it buddy.

I will tell you though based on years of this, if you are thinking a 5 minute player at U13 turns into a starter by U17, that almost never ever happens within the same club .

Many factors go into college soccer and one is playing time. I know college players who picked programs based on where they thought they could play. Most kids don't get full rides, so UVA, great, but if a kid will never ever play at UVA, it's not wrong to go to VA Tech and get on the field.

It's like: would you rather be an intern forever or go somewhere you could make partner? Isn't that a life lesson?

But won't there always be a need for interns or players 12-18 on a roster? You guys want to cut and run when things are hard. That is not an approach I can subscribe to.

What makes you say cut and run? I'm not a fan and don't engage in annual club hopping. That isn't the same though as saying I have no obligation to stay with the same club my DD's entire youth. Making a change now and then if something isn't a good fit can be good for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people don't understand what time wasted is. If your daughter is on a team and doesn't play at 13 years old or 12 or whatever because shes not good enough fine! Thats not a life lesson, we're old enough to know about life lessons. If a club traps you to join a elite club then guess what? You actually think you're DD is elite level. You drive for hours for a year to not watch her play thats a life lesson? Its sad to the people that understand thats 1 year wasted that you will never get back because a club LIED. Clubs should be honest and say your D isn't good enough if you want to waste your money fine but she WILL be on the bench all year. You're saying just try it out and oh well its just a year to live and learn? And we're wrong if we pull mid season? Ok right

If your DD plays DA/ECNL in this area, the coach believed in her ability enough to have her on the team, thinking she could contribute and play. To me, that is a coach showing confidence in a player. No sane coach takes a player intending she never plays. If her play doesn't develop over the course of the year relative to all other kids on the team, and she doesn't EARN time, that has nothing to do with a coach lying, it has to do with DD's play. Over the years, I've seen far too many parents with no objectivity over-value DD's playing ability, even when they're told the exact things that need improvement. They move DD to a different club and experience the same thing - and end up either getting cut, missing friends, moving yet again, or still earning limited playing time. At some point the parent has to realize it isn't about coaches lying as it is DD's play itself.

Thanks for the insight, Coach!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people don't understand what time wasted is. If your daughter is on a team and doesn't play at 13 years old or 12 or whatever because shes not good enough fine! Thats not a life lesson, we're old enough to know about life lessons. If a club traps you to join a elite club then guess what? You actually think you're DD is elite level. You drive for hours for a year to not watch her play thats a life lesson? Its sad to the people that understand thats 1 year wasted that you will never get back because a club LIED. Clubs should be honest and say your D isn't good enough if you want to waste your money fine but she WILL be on the bench all year. You're saying just try it out and oh well its just a year to live and learn? And we're wrong if we pull mid season? Ok right

Both can be right. What the issue is here is that posters like you come here telling everyone else what THEIR situation is all about while you really have no idea of each player’s situation. Hate to break it to you, but you’re far from a soccer Oracle my friend. You have so much to learn about this game and you are too arrogant to see that.

But don’t let this stop you. Tell us how you’ve touched a nerve or something else witty. You should write a book with all this knowledge. It pays better than this forum.

You are personalizing and mixing up posters. No one said toa s specific poster, you sir/ma'am should do so and so. Posters, me included, talked about what we find valuable in youth soccer. There are many ways to learn life lessons. I don't find value in my DD playing 5 minutes a game for 6 years AS valuable as moving to another club where she will see a hell of a lot more minutes. If you do, go for it buddy.

I will tell you though based on years of this, if you are thinking a 5 minute player at U13 turns into a starter by U17, that almost never ever happens within the same club .

Many factors go into college soccer and one is playing time. I know college players who picked programs based on where they thought they could play. Most kids don't get full rides, so UVA, great, but if a kid will never ever play at UVA, it's not wrong to go to VA Tech and get on the field.

It's like: would you rather be an intern forever or go somewhere you could make partner? Isn't that a life lesson?

But won't there always be a need for interns or players 12-18 on a roster? You guys want to cut and run when things are hard. That is not an approach I can subscribe to.

Look, when you are dealing with a 15 year old DD and their post HS soccer years are being considered tough decision need to be made.

Going into prime recruiting years you need to know where your kid is at and what is their true potential.

If you can't crack the starting lineup at club, even if it is at a DA or ECNL level then you need to find out why and fast. You also need to find out if your DD really wants to play in college.

And you also need to make sure what the real life lesson is in regards to staying and "toughing it out" as a bench player in hopes of working their way up. You might actually find out that the only real life lesson with that is simply acceptance and complacency.

Also, coaches are generally pretty slow to change their opinion on a player for better or worse. In these situations it would take a herculean effort for a long standing bench player to unseat a long standing starter. It would also take a monumental collapse of the long standing starter to lose the trust of a coach. Generally the only thing that disrupts these situations are the fresh eyes of a new coach. Sometimes that coach can be within the club but usually it takes moving to another club.

But what can't be lost in all of this is that perhaps, by that point the player is who they are now. Staying to long can stifle development and set a player somewhat in stone. The time to fix deficiencies may have passed and may be to entrenched to undue even at another club without some sober and brute force effort. The time to have left may have been two years earlier.

So if your kid is nothing more than a career sub at their current club, no, I see no life lesson in staying. There are enough teams and enough levels of play where a kid can find a spot to play significant minutes and enjoy the game. A Freshman is looking at 3 years remaining of club soccer. If they want to play in college they won't get there sitting on the bench. And if they don't want to play in college then why spend the next 3 years on the bench watching other kids compete?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people don't understand what time wasted is. If your daughter is on a team and doesn't play at 13 years old or 12 or whatever because shes not good enough fine! Thats not a life lesson, we're old enough to know about life lessons. If a club traps you to join a elite club then guess what? You actually think you're DD is elite level. You drive for hours for a year to not watch her play thats a life lesson? Its sad to the people that understand thats 1 year wasted that you will never get back because a club LIED. Clubs should be honest and say your D isn't good enough if you want to waste your money fine but she WILL be on the bench all year. You're saying just try it out and oh well its just a year to live and learn? And we're wrong if we pull mid season? Ok right

If your DD plays DA/ECNL in this area, the coach believed in her ability enough to have her on the team, thinking she could contribute and play. To me, that is a coach showing confidence in a player. No sane coach takes a player intending she never plays. If her play doesn't develop over the course of the year relative to all other kids on the team, and she doesn't EARN time, that has nothing to do with a coach lying, it has to do with DD's play. Over the years, I've seen far too many parents with no objectivity over-value DD's playing ability, even when they're told the exact things that need improvement. They move DD to a different club and experience the same thing - and end up either getting cut, missing friends, moving yet again, or still earning limited playing time. At some point the parent has to realize it isn't about coaches lying as it is DD's play itself.

Thanks for the insight, Coach!

I'm not a coach.
"Wait, he really is the coach and it is just him lying to me again. Why must this coach keep lying to me!?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people don't understand what time wasted is. If your daughter is on a team and doesn't play at 13 years old or 12 or whatever because shes not good enough fine! Thats not a life lesson, we're old enough to know about life lessons. If a club traps you to join a elite club then guess what? You actually think you're DD is elite level. You drive for hours for a year to not watch her play thats a life lesson? Its sad to the people that understand thats 1 year wasted that you will never get back because a club LIED. Clubs should be honest and say your D isn't good enough if you want to waste your money fine but she WILL be on the bench all year. You're saying just try it out and oh well its just a year to live and learn? And we're wrong if we pull mid season? Ok right

If your DD plays DA/ECNL in this area, the coach believed in her ability enough to have her on the team, thinking she could contribute and play. To me, that is a coach showing confidence in a player. No sane coach takes a player intending she never plays. If her play doesn't develop over the course of the year relative to all other kids on the team, and she doesn't EARN time, that has nothing to do with a coach lying, it has to do with DD's play. Over the years, I've seen far too many parents with no objectivity over-value DD's playing ability, even when they're told the exact things that need improvement. They move DD to a different club and experience the same thing - and end up either getting cut, missing friends, moving yet again, or still earning limited playing time. At some point the parent has to realize it isn't about coaches lying as it is DD's play itself.

Thanks for the insight, Coach!

No, the PP is correct in principle. The problem is assuming that changing clubs is nothing more than the same cycle repeated. It is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people don't understand what time wasted is. If your daughter is on a team and doesn't play at 13 years old or 12 or whatever because shes not good enough fine! Thats not a life lesson, we're old enough to know about life lessons. If a club traps you to join a elite club then guess what? You actually think you're DD is elite level. You drive for hours for a year to not watch her play thats a life lesson? Its sad to the people that understand thats 1 year wasted that you will never get back because a club LIED. Clubs should be honest and say your D isn't good enough if you want to waste your money fine but she WILL be on the bench all year. You're saying just try it out and oh well its just a year to live and learn? And we're wrong if we pull mid season? Ok right

If your DD plays DA/ECNL in this area, the coach believed in her ability enough to have her on the team, thinking she could contribute and play. To me, that is a coach showing confidence in a player. No sane coach takes a player intending she never plays. If her play doesn't develop over the course of the year relative to all other kids on the team, and she doesn't EARN time, that has nothing to do with a coach lying, it has to do with DD's play. Over the years, I've seen far too many parents with no objectivity over-value DD's playing ability, even when they're told the exact things that need improvement. They move DD to a different club and experience the same thing - and end up either getting cut, missing friends, moving yet again, or still earning limited playing time. At some point the parent has to realize it isn't about coaches lying as it is DD's play itself.

Thanks for the insight, Coach!

No, the PP is correct in principle. The problem is assuming that changing clubs is nothing more than the same cycle repeated. It is not.

Exactly. Sometimes of course it is, and sometimes that player one club didn't want turns out to be unseen talent. Soccer is replete with examples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people don't understand what time wasted is. If your daughter is on a team and doesn't play at 13 years old or 12 or whatever because shes not good enough fine! Thats not a life lesson, we're old enough to know about life lessons. If a club traps you to join a elite club then guess what? You actually think you're DD is elite level. You drive for hours for a year to not watch her play thats a life lesson? Its sad to the people that understand thats 1 year wasted that you will never get back because a club LIED. Clubs should be honest and say your D isn't good enough if you want to waste your money fine but she WILL be on the bench all year. You're saying just try it out and oh well its just a year to live and learn? And we're wrong if we pull mid season? Ok right

If your DD plays DA/ECNL in this area, the coach believed in her ability enough to have her on the team, thinking she could contribute and play. To me, that is a coach showing confidence in a player. No sane coach takes a player intending she never plays. If her play doesn't develop over the course of the year relative to all other kids on the team, and she doesn't EARN time, that has nothing to do with a coach lying, it has to do with DD's play. Over the years, I've seen far too many parents with no objectivity over-value DD's playing ability, even when they're told the exact things that need improvement. They move DD to a different club and experience the same thing - and end up either getting cut, missing friends, moving yet again, or still earning limited playing time. At some point the parent has to realize it isn't about coaches lying as it is DD's play itself.

Thanks for the insight, Coach!

No, the PP is correct in principle. The problem is assuming that changing clubs is nothing more than the same cycle repeated. It is not.

Exactly. Sometimes of course it is, and sometimes that player one club didn't want turns out to be unseen talent. Soccer is replete with examples.

I think that was the point of the sarcastic "Coach" comment