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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some people don't understand what time wasted is. If your daughter is on a team and doesn't play at 13 years old or 12 or whatever because shes not good enough fine! Thats not a life lesson, we're old enough to know about life lessons. If a club traps you to join a elite club then guess what? You actually think you're DD is elite level. You drive for hours for a year to not watch her play thats a life lesson? Its sad to the people that understand thats 1 year wasted that you will never get back because a club LIED. Clubs should be honest and say your D isn't good enough if you want to waste your money fine but she WILL be on the bench all year. You're saying just try it out and oh well its just a year to live and learn? And we're wrong if we pull mid season? Ok right [/quote]

Both can be right. What the issue is here is that posters like you come here telling everyone else what THEIR situation is all about while you really have no idea of each player’s situation. Hate to break it to you, but you’re far from a soccer Oracle my friend. You have so much to learn about this game and you are too arrogant to see that.

But don’t let this stop you. Tell us how you’ve touched a nerve or something else witty.  You should write a book with all this knowledge. It pays better than this forum. [/quote]

You are personalizing and mixing up posters.  No one said toa s specific poster, you sir/ma'am should do so and so.  Posters, me included, talked about what we find valuable in youth soccer.  There are many ways to learn life lessons.  I don't find value in my DD playing 5 minutes a game for 6 years AS valuable as moving to another club where she will see a hell of a lot more minutes.  If you do, go for it buddy.

I will tell you though based on years of this, if you are thinking a 5 minute player at U13 turns into a starter by U17, that almost never ever happens within the same club .

Many factors go into college soccer and one is playing time.  I know college players who picked programs based on where they thought they could play.  Most kids don't get full rides, so UVA, great, but if a kid will never ever play at UVA, it's not wrong to go to VA Tech and get on the field.

It's like:  would you rather be an intern forever or go somewhere you could make partner?  Isn't that a life lesson? [/quote]

But won't there always be a need for interns or players 12-18 on a roster?  You guys want to cut and run when things are hard.  That is not an approach I can subscribe to.[/quote]

Look, when you are dealing with a 15 year old DD and their post HS soccer years are being considered tough decision need to be made.

Going into prime recruiting years you need to know where your kid is at and what is their true potential.

If you can't crack the starting lineup at club, even if it is at a DA or ECNL level then you need to find out why and fast. You also need to find out if your DD really wants to play in college.

And you also need to make sure what the real life lesson is in regards to staying and "toughing it out" as a bench player in hopes of working their way up. You might actually find out that the only real life lesson with that is simply acceptance and complacency.

Also, coaches are generally pretty slow to change their opinion on a player for better or worse. In these situations it would take a herculean effort for a long standing bench player to unseat a long standing starter. It would also take a monumental collapse of the long standing starter to lose the trust of a coach. Generally the only thing that disrupts these situations are the fresh eyes of a new coach. Sometimes that coach can be within the club but usually it takes moving to another club.

But what can't be lost in all of this is that perhaps, by that point the player is who they are now. Staying to long can stifle development and set a player somewhat in stone. The time to fix deficiencies may have passed and may be to entrenched to undue even at another club without some sober and brute force effort. The time to have left may have been two years earlier.

So if your kid is nothing more than a career sub at their current club, no, I see no life lesson in staying. There are enough teams and enough levels of play where a kid can find a spot to play significant minutes and enjoy the game. A Freshman is looking at 3 years remaining of club soccer. If they want to play in college they won't get there sitting on the bench. And if they don't want to play in college then why spend the next 3 years on the bench watching other kids compete? [/quote]

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