My son brought a friend on vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the post was Help! Our houseguest is eating us out of house and home and described how a teenage guest was eating all the food for everyone and not helping, etc. but left out the part about it being an obese third tier friend who hogs seashells and sunscreen, I am sure OP would have gotten a lot more sympathy. There still would have been some suggestions to grow a backbone or not be cheap and buy enough food for guests but many more would have been on her side.

I thought about trying to start a new thread with a description kind of like this just to see, but I knew everyone would see right through it. Already loving the thread about the teenage guest whose host is throwing shade.

DP, Ooh no, the sunscreen and shells are what set my teeth on edge. Why should she leave that out? It sets the scene for Augustus Gloop. And why are you defending him? He is an adult. He doesn't know about this thread or how op feels. This will all be a nonevent for him. A glorious, tummy filling, relaxing, nonevent.

Augustus Gloop? A glorious, tummy filling, relaxing nonevent? You are great with the descriptions!

I really hope this thread becomes a DCUM classic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the post was Help! Our houseguest is eating us out of house and home and described how a teenage guest was eating all the food for everyone and not helping, etc. but left out the part about it being an obese third tier friend who hogs seashells and sunscreen, I am sure OP would have gotten a lot more sympathy. There still would have been some suggestions to grow a backbone or not be cheap and buy enough food for guests but many more would have been on her side.

I thought about trying to start a new thread with a description kind of like this just to see, but I knew everyone would see right through it. Already loving the thread about the teenage guest whose host is throwing shade.

DP, Ooh no, the sunscreen and shells are what set my teeth on edge. Why should she leave that out? It sets the scene for Augustus Gloop. And why are you defending him? He is an adult. He doesn't know about this thread or how op feels. This will all be a nonevent for him. A glorious, tummy filling, relaxing, nonevent.

I don't know why you think he doesn't know. Subtlety does not seen to be the OP's thing. I am 100% sure he overheard her talking shit about him to her husband, daughters and anyone else who had a spare ear.

People don't you realize the whole point of venting to DCUM is specifically because you are NOT saying these things to the person in question? I took the kid on an all expenses paid free vacation. He was able to laze about and eat to his heart's content and aaynshit like "I still regret jumping in that cold water" and whine about our provided breakfast options and I just smiled and grit my teeth and then bitched on DCUM via my phone. I would never be rude to a guest of my family or embaraaa my son by treating his friend badly. The kid sucked but there's no way he knows I thought it. It would require self awareness that ANYTHING he did, from asking me to buy his toiletries to eating all the food to being an ass to my son to filching kids' seashells, was not polite. He doesn't have it. He was utterly happily oblivious to what a pain in the ass he was. ONLY YOU GUYS KNOW. And my husband because I angrily texted him when Lenny stole the community appetizer dipping sauce for himself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t think 3rd tier friend was offensive or insulting. What would you call a person who is a friend but not a best friend or even a relatively close friend? I might say “acquaintance” but it sounded like maybe this was someone who was in the lid’s friend group but not one of his main friends. Either way I think you’re unreasonably worked up about that, and half this forum is people criticizing what other people eat rudely.

I’m just trying to figure out why her son is so unpopular that none of his 1st and 2nd tier friends were available for vacation.

I’m guessing most of the skinny go-getters she wanted to use as examples to her son had actual jobs and things to fill their time. She was left with her sponge of a son and third tier friend.

Why crap on my son? He's way cooler and more chill than I am. He is home from college and most of his other buddies either had their own family vacations or had work and couldn't take off a week. He's not lame and unpopular just because you think I'm a b*tch. He's arguably the most likable in our family, probably because he's so nice.

You didn't seem to have a problem crapping on someone else's son. Why should anyone else treat you or your son with kid gloves?

+1 I'm sure the other kid's parents think he's a perfect angel too.

My son can be a twerp for sure but other parents always commend us on his impeccable manners. I can confidently say he would never treat a family who hosted him like this, whatever other faults he has. And if he did, I would feel he had fully earned their derision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the post was Help! Our houseguest is eating us out of house and home and described how a teenage guest was eating all the food for everyone and not helping, etc. but left out the part about it being an obese third tier friend who hogs seashells and sunscreen, I am sure OP would have gotten a lot more sympathy. There still would have been some suggestions to grow a backbone or not be cheap and buy enough food for guests but many more would have been on her side.

I thought about trying to start a new thread with a description kind of like this just to see, but I knew everyone would see right through it. Already loving the thread about the teenage guest whose host is throwing shade.

DP, Ooh no, the sunscreen and shells are what set my teeth on edge. Why should she leave that out? It sets the scene for Augustus Gloop. And why are you defending him? He is an adult. He doesn't know about this thread or how op feels. This will all be a nonevent for him. A glorious, tummy filling, relaxing, nonevent.

I don't know why you think he doesn't know. Subtlety does not seen to be the OP's thing. I am 100% sure he overheard her talking shit about him to her husband, daughters and anyone else who had a spare ear.

People don't you realize the whole point of venting to DCUM is specifically because you are NOT saying these things to the person in question? I took the kid on an all expenses paid free vacation. He was able to laze about and eat to his heart's content and aaynshit like "I still regret jumping in that cold water" and whine about our provided breakfast options and I just smiled and grit my teeth and then bitched on DCUM via my phone. I would never be rude to a guest of my family or embaraaa my son by treating his friend badly. The kid sucked but there's no way he knows I thought it. It would require self awareness that ANYTHING he did, from asking me to buy his toiletries to eating all the food to being an ass to my son to filching kids' seashells, was not polite. He doesn't have it. He was utterly happily oblivious to what a pain in the ass he was. ONLY YOU GUYS KNOW. And my husband because I angrily texted him when Lenny stole the community appetizer dipping sauce for himself

You couldn’t pay me enough to spend my vacation with some angry lady who loses it when a guest comments in the temperature of the water and “angrily texts” when he takes too much dipping sauce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the post was Help! Our houseguest is eating us out of house and home and described how a teenage guest was eating all the food for everyone and not helping, etc. but left out the part about it being an obese third tier friend who hogs seashells and sunscreen, I am sure OP would have gotten a lot more sympathy. There still would have been some suggestions to grow a backbone or not be cheap and buy enough food for guests but many more would have been on her side.

I thought about trying to start a new thread with a description kind of like this just to see, but I knew everyone would see right through it. Already loving the thread about the teenage guest whose host is throwing shade.

DP, Ooh no, the sunscreen and shells are what set my teeth on edge. Why should she leave that out? It sets the scene for Augustus Gloop. And why are you defending him? He is an adult. He doesn't know about this thread or how op feels. This will all be a nonevent for him. A glorious, tummy filling, relaxing, nonevent.

I don't know why you think he doesn't know. Subtlety does not seen to be the OP's thing. I am 100% sure he overheard her talking shit about him to her husband, daughters and anyone else who had a spare ear.

People don't you realize the whole point of venting to DCUM is specifically because you are NOT saying these things to the person in question? I took the kid on an all expenses paid free vacation. He was able to laze about and eat to his heart's content and aaynshit like "I still regret jumping in that cold water" and whine about our provided breakfast options and I just smiled and grit my teeth and then bitched on DCUM via my phone. I would never be rude to a guest of my family or embaraaa my son by treating his friend badly. The kid sucked but there's no way he knows I thought it. It would require self awareness that ANYTHING he did, from asking me to buy his toiletries to eating all the food to being an ass to my son to filching kids' seashells, was not polite. He doesn't have it. He was utterly happily oblivious to what a pain in the ass he was. ONLY YOU GUYS KNOW. And my husband because I angrily texted him when Lenny stole the community appetizer dipping sauce for himself

Why on earth didn't your son say something to his friend when the kid started to hog the dipping sauce? Boys usually have no trouble saying "Put it where I can reach it too and no double dipping!"

Why didn't you ask the waitress for an extra cup of dipping sauce and then divy up the appetizer on the plates so that everyone had a fair share?

And who cares if the kid said "The water is cold!" Maybe the water was cold.

The problem is you angrily texted instead of trying to fix the problem. You could have done some things to minimize how rude this kid could possibly be but, instead, you continued to take him out to restaurants and continued to watch him order the most expensive thing on the menu and you never once said a word to him. You knew darned well that he was going to do that and you just kept watching it happen. Why?

[Anonymous]

Dear OP, I feel very bad for you and I am sorry about this awful guest you were stuck with. Sounds absolutely abhorrent. I'd be as annoyed and furious if I were in your shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the post was Help! Our houseguest is eating us out of house and home and described how a teenage guest was eating all the food for everyone and not helping, etc. but left out the part about it being an obese third tier friend who hogs seashells and sunscreen, I am sure OP would have gotten a lot more sympathy. There still would have been some suggestions to grow a backbone or not be cheap and buy enough food for guests but many more would have been on her side.

I thought about trying to start a new thread with a description kind of like this just to see, but I knew everyone would see right through it. Already loving the thread about the teenage guest whose host is throwing shade.

DP, Ooh no, the sunscreen and shells are what set my teeth on edge. Why should she leave that out? It sets the scene for Augustus Gloop. And why are you defending him? He is an adult. He doesn't know about this thread or how op feels. This will all be a nonevent for him. A glorious, tummy filling, relaxing, nonevent.

I don't know why you think he doesn't know. Subtlety does not seen to be the OP's thing. I am 100% sure he overheard her talking shit about him to her husband, daughters and anyone else who had a spare ear.

People don't you realize the whole point of venting to DCUM is specifically because you are NOT saying these things to the person in question? I took the kid on an all expenses paid free vacation. He was able to laze about and eat to his heart's content and aaynshit like "I still regret jumping in that cold water" and whine about our provided breakfast options and I just smiled and grit my teeth and then bitched on DCUM via my phone. I would never be rude to a guest of my family or embaraaa my son by treating his friend badly. The kid sucked but there's no way he knows I thought it. It would require self awareness that ANYTHING he did, from asking me to buy his toiletries to eating all the food to being an ass to my son to filching kids' seashells, was not polite. He doesn't have it. He was utterly happily oblivious to what a pain in the ass he was. ONLY YOU GUYS KNOW. And my husband because I angrily texted him when Lenny stole the community appetizer dipping sauce for himself

“Stole” a dipping sauce? You’re perception is so warped that this kid could do nothing wrong. You were constantly looking for fault - waiting to pounce and be annoyed at him for anything.

Presumably he didn’t have a car - so asking you to get the toiletries is fine. You should have asked him for the money if it bothered you so much.

You’re cheap and petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to be a coordinator for au pairs and I would hear this a lot from people that had male au pairs. They just had no idea that a 19 year old could eat 3 pork chops for dinner and consider it normal. And our au pair had a gas card and it turned out every time she filled our car with gas she and her friends were getting 5 dollars worth of snacks from the gas station. Kids that age are just hungry!

We eventually concluded that if you're not wealthy enough to be able to build in that extra margin (i.e. an extra 25 bucks a week for groceries, etc.) then you probably can't afford the nanny or the vacation or whatever.

We took our au pair on vacation and had the same issue with ordering on the menu. But again if you can't afford to take an extra person to a restaurant, then perhaps you should make more meals at home.

Also, the rationing of food is not good hospitality. You need to be able to have some slack in the equation -- a few extra granola bars, what have you. I remember being at my MIL's and being pregnant and ravenous and finding out that all the food was being rationed and there was exactly one potato per person, etc. It felt terrible and made me feel oddly guilty for requiring more and kind of crazy.

If you can only afford one potato per person, then maybe you shouldn't be having guests is the long and short of it for me.

I've had a male AP and you are absolutely correct. They eat a ton, but mine also had the sense to not take the last of anything, ask before taking things that might be for dinner, took out trash without asking when it was full, and arrived with his own toothbrush, chapstick and yes, sunscreen.

There is a difference between the gluttony of the obese and a young man with a big appetite.

[Anonymous]

Oh please. Everyone piling on OP . . . it's a VENT. And it seems lots of small things over a week of being together probably made them seem more than they were by mid-week. I know that DCUM knows how that feels even if they prefer to act like they don't. Even if it's easier to attack someone for complaining and feel superior that you would never complain about things like this, etc. Yeah, right.

Frankly, the kid OP brought sounds obnoxious. It sounds like she sucked it up but was complaining to her DH and to hear. I can forgive the judgment about his weight and manners b/c of her evident frustration (even if it wasn't nice behind his back).

You all are pieces of work. You ABSOLUTELY would be complaining too. (And, no I'm a NP not OP).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. Everyone piling on OP . . . it's a VENT. And it seems lots of small things over a week of being together probably made them seem more than they were by mid-week. I know that DCUM knows how that feels even if they prefer to act like they don't. Even if it's easier to attack someone for complaining and feel superior that you would never complain about things like this, etc. Yeah, right.

Frankly, the kid OP brought sounds obnoxious. It sounds like she sucked it up but was complaining to her DH and to hear. I can forgive the judgment about his weight and manners b/c of her evident frustration (even if it wasn't nice behind his back).

You all are pieces of work. You ABSOLUTELY would be complaining too. (And, no I'm a NP not OP).

Completely agree. Just IMAGINE if “son’s friend” was replaced with “mother in law”...it would be a TOTALLY different tune.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. Everyone piling on OP . . . it's a VENT. And it seems lots of small things over a week of being together probably made them seem more than they were by mid-week. I know that DCUM knows how that feels even if they prefer to act like they don't. Even if it's easier to attack someone for complaining and feel superior that you would never complain about things like this, etc. Yeah, right.

Frankly, the kid OP brought sounds obnoxious. It sounds like she sucked it up but was complaining to her DH and to hear. I can forgive the judgment about his weight and manners b/c of her evident frustration (even if it wasn't nice behind his back).

You all are pieces of work. You ABSOLUTELY would be complaining too. (And, no I'm a NP not OP).

Completely agree. Just IMAGINE if “son’s friend” was replaced with “mother in law”...it would be a TOTALLY different tune.

Well that's true, but it doesn't make the advice any good or right. There is lots of irrational MIL hate on this site.

For the record, many people seem to be giving OP a hard for not saying anything to try and steer things into a better direction. She is not alone really - there are plenty of people who sit mum so they can later spout their stories of righteous indignation.

[Anonymous]

I'm still confused over whether 19 years old is an adult or a child. Depends on the thread, I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the post was Help! Our houseguest is eating us out of house and home and described how a teenage guest was eating all the food for everyone and not helping, etc. but left out the part about it being an obese third tier friend who hogs seashells and sunscreen, I am sure OP would have gotten a lot more sympathy. There still would have been some suggestions to grow a backbone or not be cheap and buy enough food for guests but many more would have been on her side.

I thought about trying to start a new thread with a description kind of like this just to see, but I knew everyone would see right through it. Already loving the thread about the teenage guest whose host is throwing shade.

DP, Ooh no, the sunscreen and shells are what set my teeth on edge. Why should she leave that out? It sets the scene for Augustus Gloop. And why are you defending him? He is an adult. He doesn't know about this thread or how op feels. This will all be a nonevent for him. A glorious, tummy filling, relaxing, nonevent.

I don't know why you think he doesn't know. Subtlety does not seen to be the OP's thing. I am 100% sure he overheard her talking shit about him to her husband, daughters and anyone else who had a spare ear.

People don't you realize the whole point of venting to DCUM is specifically because you are NOT saying these things to the person in question? I took the kid on an all expenses paid free vacation. He was able to laze about and eat to his heart's content and aaynshit like "I still regret jumping in that cold water" and whine about our provided breakfast options and I just smiled and grit my teeth and then bitched on DCUM via my phone. I would never be rude to a guest of my family or embaraaa my son by treating his friend badly. The kid sucked but there's no way he knows I thought it. It would require self awareness that ANYTHING he did, from asking me to buy his toiletries to eating all the food to being an ass to my son to filching kids' seashells, was not polite. He doesn't have it. He was utterly happily oblivious to what a pain in the ass he was. ONLY YOU GUYS KNOW. And my husband because I angrily texted him when Lenny stole the community appetizer dipping sauce for himself

“Stole” a dipping sauce? You’re perception is so warped that this kid could do nothing wrong. You were constantly looking for fault - waiting to pounce and be annoyed at him for anything.

Presumably he didn’t have a car - so asking you to get the toiletries is fine. You should have asked him for the money if it bothered you so much.

You’re cheap and petty.

Yes we ordered an appetizer for the TABLE. It came with a cup of sauce. He pulled it over to himself, parked it under his face, and dipped every bite of his appetizer into it while eating it dripping over the sauce cup. Didn't even ask if anybody wanted any, didn't pour some on his plate, just snatched and hoovered.

I HAVE a 19 year old son, I know a boy appetite. This was not that. It was just bottomless eating. And damn, I didn't Ration food or else he couldn't have possibly eaten everything the way he did. Also, I could afford to have another meal added on every dinner out. The point is, being ABLE to afford for this kid to order the most expensive special every time we go out and WANTING to spend my money that way are two totally different things. I'm supposed to be happy a kid who wouldn't even stop playing Fortnite at the table ordered something twice as expensive as everyone else each and every time we went out?

When we went out and all ordered reasonable $20 shrimp baskets and he tried to get the filet like no. Who the hell does that? (And before someone calls me weak, yes we told him that one was not gonna happen, nor was ordering his own special pasta dish when we ordered multiple pizzas for the group.) He didn't thank us for ONE SINGLE thing on this trip, had a poor attitude, was lazy, and just an awful houseguest.

And he and my son had my son's car specifically so they could go do things without us. He was fully capable of buying his own damn chapstick or getting his own breakfast if he didn't like that we only had cereal. he was just rude and entitled the entire week in every possible way. The way this thread continues to try to argue that anyone who invites anyone anywhere is supposed to eat shit and grin no matter how bad the behavior is is so weird.

[Anonymous]

Op I think we need to hear more about Lenny’s antics. Come on, surely you can remember a few more things he did to piss you off. This thread has been so entertaining, I want more!

[Anonymous]

What did you son think about the guest after it was over before you said anything to color his view?