SSFS Will Stay Open

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else from SSFS who is staying experiencing an "I told you so" attitude from those who were leaving before the shut down? It's quite disheartening and also curious that they are seeking validation for their decision.

Probably because they felt social approbation for leaving and thought they were treated unfairly by those who judged them, and now they want a second and more favorable chance to explain themselves. To be heard and acknowledged by those who discounted and ignored them before.

It's very important that the staying families have their eyes wide open, understand what happened, and recognize the signs of trouble well in advance. This is an opportunity to learn, and you can learn a lot from people who left. They will sometimes speak more freely than people who still go there, and it's valuable to have their perspective even if you don't agree or it's emotionally hard to hear. The people who didn't see the signs had a very rude awakening and should take this as the learning opportunity that it is.

So, you're looking to feel vindicated? Asking for a Friend.

I’m the pp with an alum who is very glad the school is going to be okay and hopefully thrive. You are not helping by gaslighting people whose kids had a horrible time at great expense.

My kid also had a horrible time at great expense. I don’t understand these ppl who dismiss that happened and claim the school is a magical place. Doesn’t the fact that the school was going out of business prove that enough ppl had bad experience? Seriously those ppl need to stop being so arrogant

There are multiple types of stories to be told and they don't all connect. Obvious from what's posted on these forums, some families have not had a good experience with SSFS - that's a set of stories and I think we all feel bad for those who have these stories. Then there are the stories about the closing and the potential mismanagement. And there are stories of people who feel that SSFS is or has been very special. The fact that the school was going out of business doesn't prove anything other than mismanagement. That does not mean that your story is untrue or invaluable to hear. Just because someone thinks the school has been magical for them does not mean they dismiss that it wasn't magical and perhaps even horrible for someone else.

[Anonymous]

The people who knew SSFS was in a bad spiral didn't tend to be judgemental of those who left. Because they knew there were many valid reasons. The people who wanted to believe everything was fine were more likely to apply social pressure, imply that people leaving were poor community members, appeal to collective action, and other things that while sometimes not untrue, are really really irritating when you're paying a ton of money and your kid isn't happy or well-served.

If everyone was actually Quaker, if the school was serving primarily Quaker kids and everyone went to their various meetings on the weekend and it really was that kind of much thicker community, with stronger moral claims, it might feel different to me. But by our last years it was feeling like primarily just a community of those who could afford the tuition and liked the vibe, and that isn't really the same thing. It doesn't motivate me to personal sacrifice and to tolerate the academic shortcomings in the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else from SSFS who is staying experiencing an "I told you so" attitude from those who were leaving before the shut down? It's quite disheartening and also curious that they are seeking validation for their decision.

Probably because they felt social approbation for leaving and thought they were treated unfairly by those who judged them, and now they want a second and more favorable chance to explain themselves. To be heard and acknowledged by those who discounted and ignored them before.

It's very important that the staying families have their eyes wide open, understand what happened, and recognize the signs of trouble well in advance. This is an opportunity to learn, and you can learn a lot from people who left. They will sometimes speak more freely than people who still go there, and it's valuable to have their perspective even if you don't agree or it's emotionally hard to hear. The people who didn't see the signs had a very rude awakening and should take this as the learning opportunity that it is.

More lecturing. More assumptions. The people who choose to stay are not stupid.

Maybe it’s attitudes like this why ppl who left feel vindicated? You’re not stupid but you sure are rude.

Pushing back is not rude and obviously agree. When you make statements such as this, "It's very important that the staying families have their eyes wide open, understand what happened, and recognize the signs of trouble well in advance", you are stating the obvious and therefore it comes across as lecturing and with the assumption that we didn't or wouldn't have our eyes open - hence the "we are not stupid" comeback.

I was not the person who made the comment about seeing signs early. But don’t you think that person has a valid point at all?? That’s insane. The school literally is going out of business but you think anyone who saw it coming are just full of themselves cause there weren’t any signs at all?

You’re only defensive cause the truth hits a nerve. No one says you’re stupid, but you just annoyed that you can duped, do you lash out at anyone who “states the obvious”.

I'm in awe of the skill some people apparently have to know the emotions of an anonymous person just by reading their typed words.

[Anonymous]

The collective action thing was never going to work. "Oh, if more people stayed, everything would be fine." Therefore, socially pressuring people to stay is the solution! Socially punishing those who leave is the strategy! No. That's not how it works. If everyone stayed, it would still be a school with a useless board, middling academics and really terrible leadership! Not fine at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The collective action thing was never going to work. "Oh, if more people stayed, everything would be fine." Therefore, socially pressuring people to stay is the solution! Socially punishing those who leave is the strategy! No. That's not how it works. If everyone stayed, it would still be a school with a useless board, middling academics and really terrible leadership! Not fine at all.

Oh good grief, "socially punishing those who leave"?

[Anonymous]

Im not sure how this has all devolved, but we are very happy to be able to stay, and also respect the decision of those who will not. Hoping for the best for all our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The collective action thing was never going to work. "Oh, if more people stayed, everything would be fine." Therefore, socially pressuring people to stay is the solution! Socially punishing those who leave is the strategy! No. That's not how it works. If everyone stayed, it would still be a school with a useless board, middling academics and really terrible leadership! Not fine at all.

Oh good grief, "socially punishing those who leave"?

Yeah, it definitely felt that way to me. But whatever, it's all over now.

I think some people could see that the forecast was not looking good, and were trying very hard to encourage people to stick with SSFS. I get it, I've done that myself for certain things. It's not like attrition doesn't matter. But fixing the underlying problems, the underlying cause of elevated attrition, is what really needed to be done, and it was always very frustrating for me when people couldn't see that. I dunno-- maybe a left-leaning school with middling academics and moderately expensive facilities is what a lot of people actually want. But not me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The collective action thing was never going to work. "Oh, if more people stayed, everything would be fine." Therefore, socially pressuring people to stay is the solution! Socially punishing those who leave is the strategy! No. That's not how it works. If everyone stayed, it would still be a school with a useless board, middling academics and really terrible leadership! Not fine at all.

Oh good grief, "socially punishing those who leave"?

Yeah, it definitely felt that way to me. But whatever, it's all over now.

I think some people could see that the forecast was not looking good, and were trying very hard to encourage people to stick with SSFS. I get it, I've done that myself for certain things. It's not like attrition doesn't matter. But fixing the underlying problems, the underlying cause of elevated attrition, is what really needed to be done, and it was always very frustrating for me when people couldn't see that. I dunno-- maybe a left-leaning school with middling academics and moderately expensive facilities is what a lot of people actually want. But not me.

You claim, "whatever, it's all over now" but here you are watching this forum and calling others rude or assuming they are defensive while you make gaslighting comments yourself such as, "I dunno-- maybe a left-leaning school with middling academics and moderately expensive facilities is what a lot of people actually want. But not me."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else from SSFS who is staying experiencing an "I told you so" attitude from those who were leaving before the shut down? It's quite disheartening and also curious that they are seeking validation for their decision.

Probably because they felt social approbation for leaving and thought they were treated unfairly by those who judged them, and now they want a second and more favorable chance to explain themselves. To be heard and acknowledged by those who discounted and ignored them before.

It's very important that the staying families have their eyes wide open, understand what happened, and recognize the signs of trouble well in advance. This is an opportunity to learn, and you can learn a lot from people who left. They will sometimes speak more freely than people who still go there, and it's valuable to have their perspective even if you don't agree or it's emotionally hard to hear. The people who didn't see the signs had a very rude awakening and should take this as the learning opportunity that it is.

So, you're looking to feel vindicated? Asking for a Friend.

I’m the pp with an alum who is very glad the school is going to be okay and hopefully thrive. You are not helping by gaslighting people whose kids had a horrible time at great expense.

My kid also had a horrible time at great expense. I don’t understand these ppl who dismiss that happened and claim the school is a magical place. Doesn’t the fact that the school was going out of business prove that enough ppl had bad experience? Seriously those ppl need to stop being so arrogant

There are multiple types of stories to be told and they don't all connect. Obvious from what's posted on these forums, some families have not had a good experience with SSFS - that's a set of stories and I think we all feel bad for those who have these stories. Then there are the stories about the closing and the potential mismanagement. And there are stories of people who feel that SSFS is or has been very special. The fact that the school was going out of business doesn't prove anything other than mismanagement. That does not mean that your story is untrue or invaluable to hear. Just because someone thinks the school has been magical for them does not mean they dismiss that it wasn't magical and perhaps even horrible for someone else.

You think the “ The fact that the school was going out of business doesn't prove anything other than mismanagement. ”

Really? So emeollmebt dropped not because enough ppl had a bad enough experience that they didn’t see a value added reason to stay. Nope. All those ppl left because of mismanagement. So what exactly was the mismanagement that the roughly 200 students faced that left the enrollment so low? Please enlighten me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im not sure how this has all devolved, but we are very happy to be able to stay, and also respect the decision of those who will not. Hoping for the best for all our kids.

+1000 So happy that SSFS is staying open. SSFS is a school that needs to be in the mix of private school choices. Very happy for the families that are staying and for the alumni. We are not re-enrolling and it was a difficult decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The collective action thing was never going to work. "Oh, if more people stayed, everything would be fine." Therefore, socially pressuring people to stay is the solution! Socially punishing those who leave is the strategy! No. That's not how it works. If everyone stayed, it would still be a school with a useless board, middling academics and really terrible leadership! Not fine at all.

Oh good grief, "socially punishing those who leave"?

Absolutely. Clearly you didn’t leave so had no reason to experience this. But you could not say why you left without feeling dismissed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The collective action thing was never going to work. "Oh, if more people stayed, everything would be fine." Therefore, socially pressuring people to stay is the solution! Socially punishing those who leave is the strategy! No. That's not how it works. If everyone stayed, it would still be a school with a useless board, middling academics and really terrible leadership! Not fine at all.

Oh good grief, "socially punishing those who leave"?

Yeah, it definitely felt that way to me. But whatever, it's all over now.

I think some people could see that the forecast was not looking good, and were trying very hard to encourage people to stick with SSFS. I get it, I've done that myself for certain things. It's not like attrition doesn't matter. But fixing the underlying problems, the underlying cause of elevated attrition, is what really needed to be done, and it was always very frustrating for me when people couldn't see that. I dunno-- maybe a left-leaning school with middling academics and moderately expensive facilities is what a lot of people actually want. But not me.

You claim, "whatever, it's all over now" but here you are watching this forum and calling others rude or assuming they are defensive while you make gaslighting comments yourself such as, "I dunno-- maybe a left-leaning school with middling academics and moderately expensive facilities is what a lot of people actually want. But not me."

Well, why would anyone stay if that's not what they want? Because that's what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else from SSFS who is staying experiencing an "I told you so" attitude from those who were leaving before the shut down? It's quite disheartening and also curious that they are seeking validation for their decision.

Probably because they felt social approbation for leaving and thought they were treated unfairly by those who judged them, and now they want a second and more favorable chance to explain themselves. To be heard and acknowledged by those who discounted and ignored them before.

It's very important that the staying families have their eyes wide open, understand what happened, and recognize the signs of trouble well in advance. This is an opportunity to learn, and you can learn a lot from people who left. They will sometimes speak more freely than people who still go there, and it's valuable to have their perspective even if you don't agree or it's emotionally hard to hear. The people who didn't see the signs had a very rude awakening and should take this as the learning opportunity that it is.

So, you're looking to feel vindicated? Asking for a Friend.

I’m the pp with an alum who is very glad the school is going to be okay and hopefully thrive. You are not helping by gaslighting people whose kids had a horrible time at great expense.

My kid also had a horrible time at great expense. I don’t understand these ppl who dismiss that happened and claim the school is a magical place. Doesn’t the fact that the school was going out of business prove that enough ppl had bad experience? Seriously those ppl need to stop being so arrogant

There are multiple types of stories to be told and they don't all connect. Obvious from what's posted on these forums, some families have not had a good experience with SSFS - that's a set of stories and I think we all feel bad for those who have these stories. Then there are the stories about the closing and the potential mismanagement. And there are stories of people who feel that SSFS is or has been very special. The fact that the school was going out of business doesn't prove anything other than mismanagement. That does not mean that your story is untrue or invaluable to hear. Just because someone thinks the school has been magical for them does not mean they dismiss that it wasn't magical and perhaps even horrible for someone else.

You think the “ The fact that the school was going out of business doesn't prove anything other than mismanagement. ”

Really? So emeollmebt dropped not because enough ppl had a bad enough experience that they didn’t see a value added reason to stay. Nope. All those ppl left because of mismanagement. So what exactly was the mismanagement that the roughly 200 students faced that left the enrollment so low? Please enlighten me.

I won't take the bait. You seem disgruntled and apparently no longer at SSFS so your motive for being on this forum and posting as you do is questionable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The collective action thing was never going to work. "Oh, if more people stayed, everything would be fine." Therefore, socially pressuring people to stay is the solution! Socially punishing those who leave is the strategy! No. That's not how it works. If everyone stayed, it would still be a school with a useless board, middling academics and really terrible leadership! Not fine at all.

Oh good grief, "socially punishing those who leave"?

Yeah, it definitely felt that way to me. But whatever, it's all over now.

I think some people could see that the forecast was not looking good, and were trying very hard to encourage people to stick with SSFS. I get it, I've done that myself for certain things. It's not like attrition doesn't matter. But fixing the underlying problems, the underlying cause of elevated attrition, is what really needed to be done, and it was always very frustrating for me when people couldn't see that. I dunno-- maybe a left-leaning school with middling academics and moderately expensive facilities is what a lot of people actually want. But not me.

You claim, "whatever, it's all over now" but here you are watching this forum and calling others rude or assuming they are defensive while you make gaslighting comments yourself such as, "I dunno-- maybe a left-leaning school with middling academics and moderately expensive facilities is what a lot of people actually want. But not me."

Well, why would anyone stay if that's not what they want? Because that's what it is.

No, that's what the school was to you. You don't seem to understand that opinions can and do differ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The collective action thing was never going to work. "Oh, if more people stayed, everything would be fine." Therefore, socially pressuring people to stay is the solution! Socially punishing those who leave is the strategy! No. That's not how it works. If everyone stayed, it would still be a school with a useless board, middling academics and really terrible leadership! Not fine at all.

Oh good grief, "socially punishing those who leave"?

Absolutely. Clearly you didn’t leave so had no reason to experience this. But you could not say why you left without feeling dismissed.

So you've changed from describing it as people "socially punishing" you to "feeling dismissed".