Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up pretty sheltered in a very generically white part of the country. My parents did not swear, we didn’t have cable, and there really were no people of other races to interact with so racial epithets never surfaced even if a bigoted person might have been inclined to use them.

Even someone as unprepared for life in the big city as I was knew how offensive the n-word was, and through reading I had gleaned that there were also derogatory terms for other races, but it had escaped my notice that white people had bad words for other white people who weren’t WASPs. Imagine my mortification when a friend referred to “Mike,” and I innocently asked, “Do you mean (derogatory term for Irish) “Mike” or (derogatory term for Italian) Mike?” because I had heard some of the knuckleheaded boys in our dorm refer to the Mikes in question in that manner. Thirty years later I still cringe at that memory. Sorry Mikes!

LOL Mick Mike or Guido Mike? I married a polish mike who called himself Pollock Mike. Somehow it's ok when ur white. Like calling me a stuck up becky. Oh yes, I have heard that but I'm not going to go crying to Jeff about it.

I’m guessing it is not guido and that you didn’t grow up in a time when “Guinea” was used as a slur against Italian people. I only see it in books and really old movies these days haven’t heard it out loud since the late 90s in NYC and CT.

Ding ding ding. It was the latter. Late 80s, and used by boys from NYC.

[Anonymous]

When eating at a restaurant close your menu when you are ready to order

If you are finished with your plate, put your silverware to the side

Put your napkin in your lap when you sit down

Never ever be rude to your server

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When eating at a restaurant close your menu when you are ready to order

If you are finished with your plate, put your silverware to the side

Put your napkin in your lap when you sit down

Never ever be rude to your server

You never learned these things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You leave the porch light on at night. I’ve never seen a neighborhood that doesn’t do this. I can’t imagine a block of completely dark houses unless they were abandoned.

That’s because the neighborhoods that turn their lights off at night are dark, silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When eating at a restaurant close your menu when you are ready to order

If you are finished with your plate, put your silverware to the side

Put your napkin in your lap when you sit down

Never ever be rude to your server

I'm not sure what you mean. When finished eating silverware should be lined up across the plate at the top. Do not put your silverware back on the table to the side. The rest are correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a household where nobody flossed. Ever. Like, it was my job to dust the house, and I literally dusted off dust from the same box of dental floss for over 15 years.

Our dog got groomed once a year. We never bathed her at home. We didn't really brush her. I was shocked as an adult to find out people get their dogs bathed every 2-6 weeks! And groomed several times a year.

Only poodles and doodles need regular grooming, because they don't shed but instead their fur grows. Other breeds don't. Ideally, some breeds should be bathed infrequently, or never, for skin health.

You're wrong. There are lots of other breeds that also don't shed, and we had one of those. I assure you, she needed grooming and bathing more than the once a year she got.

Yep, we had a Rhodesian Ridgeback and although she didn’t shed, she would start smelling like Fritos if she was past due for a shower. I miss her, she would just get in the shower to get clean and then we blew her fur dry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a designer I understand the overhead light thing and my mom usually didn't use them, but when overhead lights are on dimmers it's really all a wash re: the softness and color.

We never used pillow covers or mattress covers. My spouse is a maniac about bed making so we use them now and I get it.

My spouse also came from a wet wipes family: they're at every toilet. They insist they are necessary. Can't say I use them, but we have them.

We did use washclothes but I don't like them and don't use them as an adult. We do provide them for guests if they want them.

My family taught me nothing about nature or wildlife or how to enjoy it. I didn't know about how to dress for the cold or for the outdoors. Never understood outdoorsy stuff or saw a trail marker. Didn't know female cardinals weren't red. Thought deer were scary and dangerous. Thought there were two animals called a possum and an opossum.

Luckily, I can say we're raising our children with so much we didn't have and we had a lot!

There are two different animals called a possum and an opossum. Possums are from Australia and opossums are from North America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When eating at a restaurant close your menu when you are ready to order

If you are finished with your plate, put your silverware to the side

Put your napkin in your lap when you sit down

Never ever be rude to your server

I'm not sure what you mean. When finished eating silverware should be lined up across the plate at the top. Do not put your silverware back on the table to the side. The rest are correct.

Put silverware to the side of your plate.

I know I'm correct. I've had private school upbringing and quit teaching to be a server.

No one said put the silverware back in the table. Read a book on manners.

[Anonymous]

Just hand me your dirty plates as I walk by with my hands full of steaming meals for another table. And shake your cup in the air to show you want a refill. And when I ask politely if there is anything you need at the moment, say a winning lottery ticket. When I politely present your check act confused and say oh, I thought you were going to pay it. Sure, a 50 year old woman on her feet with no break for 12 hours. So funny.

Then leave a crappy tip

[Anonymous]

Just because drink refills are free, only a savage requires a refill from the moment the get their drink and prior to the appetizer.

[Anonymous]

Dress codes! We were dressed wrong for many occasions. The differences between semi-formal, cocktail, formal, etc. were lost on my mom. If we went to any wedding or event, she would just tell us to wear "church clothes" which I now know were mostly casual dresses. It took me awhile to figure it all out on my own (mostly pre-internet). But we never wore white shoes after labor day, LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Overhead lighting is tacky.

Darkness is tacky. My home is very large with tall ceilings, so lamps everywhere is just impractical. I suppose lamps work well in a small home with small rooms - maybe then it’s “cozy”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Overhead lighting is tacky.

Darkness is tacky. My home is very large with tall ceilings, so lamps everywhere is just impractical. I suppose lamps work well in a small home with small rooms - maybe then it’s “cozy”.

I generally don't describe overhead lighting as tacky, but McMansions with 20' ceilings and can lights in a grid pattern are definitely tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up pretty sheltered in a very generically white part of the country. My parents did not swear, we didn’t have cable, and there really were no people of other races to interact with so racial epithets never surfaced even if a bigoted person might have been inclined to use them.

Even someone as unprepared for life in the big city as I was knew how offensive the n-word was, and through reading I had gleaned that there were also derogatory terms for other races, but it had escaped my notice that white people had bad words for other white people who weren’t WASPs. Imagine my mortification when a friend referred to “Mike,” and I innocently asked, “Do you mean (derogatory term for Irish) “Mike” or (derogatory term for Italian) Mike?” because I had heard some of the knuckleheaded boys in our dorm refer to the Mikes in question in that manner. Thirty years later I still cringe at that memory. Sorry Mikes!

LOL Mick Mike or Guido Mike? I married a polish mike who called himself Pollock Mike. Somehow it's ok when ur white. Like calling me a stuck up becky. Oh yes, I have heard that but I'm not going to go crying to Jeff about it.

I’m guessing it is not guido and that you didn’t grow up in a time when “Guinea” was used as a slur against Italian people. I only see it in books and really old movies these days haven’t heard it out loud since the late 90s in NYC and CT.

Ding ding ding. It was the latter. Late 80s, and used by boys from NYC.

Never heard that one. I think by my earliest memories 80s/90s any of these neighborhoods were pretty much integrated. Any references would indeed be by knuckleheaded boys and not as insults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because drink refills are free, only a savage requires a refill from the moment the get their drink and prior to the appetizer.

Oh I dated a guy who would fill up on the way out just because it was "free". So greedy.