Just got yelled at for leaving my kid alone in in the car while I went to the pharmacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depending on where you are - it's against the law to leave a kid under 8 alone in the car. Personally - my oldest would be fine at 7 and. my youngest I still don't want to leave alone in the car at 13.

This has been well covered in the thread if you bothered to read it. The vast majority of states would treat what OP did as legal -- they either have no rules on leaving kids in cars unattended or they bar it for younger kids but it's fine for 7 yr olds. There are only 8 states where leaving a 7 year old alone in a car is against the law. And OP doesn't live in one of those states (she lives in VA where the age cut-off is 4 and under).

I agree with you that it can depend on the kid. I'd leave my now 7 yr old in a car for a few minutes no problem -- she'd read quietly to herself and keep the doors locked and probably keep an eye out for any questionable behavior in the parking lot and report back to me on any shenanigans because she's abundantly responsible. I have a brother who I might not leave alone in my car even now at 41.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting standards have changed so much. In the 80s nobody would question a 7 year old left in the car. Now we do. I won't be surprised when there are fewer babies born as the laws and requirements become even stricter for the next generation.

I don't think people are not having childten because children can't be left in the car!

How about women are tired of doing it all abd not getting help!

Np. Sometimes the help we need is to leave the kid in the car for 5 min. It’s hard dragging them in for tiny errands like dropping off a package at ups

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:7 is fine, OP. Just ignore the guard.

Do y’all not let your 7 year olds ride bikes n the neighborhood or otherwise be independent?

+1 the way people on this thread are talking makes me worry for these children who will not be left alone for even one minute their entire childhoods. I know 8 and 9 year olds who walk or ride bikes to school on their own. By middle school most kids I know are riding public transportation alone or with friends in at least some situations. A few minutes alone in a car while a parent dashes in to pick up medication at 7 seems totally normal to me. I don't get the response on here at all.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yikes, this is all really disheartening. Trust me, I am not a “mommy martyr”, and in general I think that a lot of expectations on parents are way too high. But not leaving a young child (or children) alone in a car seems like a no-brainer. It’s disturbing there are posters bragging about doing this. We get it, you’re an irresponsible parent - why is that something you seem proud of? Is it more hassle to bring the kid in with you? Sure. But oh well, that’s going to happen sometimes.

OP’s kid is 7. That means he’s in 2nd grade. If you can’t leave your 2nd grader alone in car for 10 minutes, it’s either because they have profound special needs, or more likely it means that you are absolutely failing as a parent.

And everyone needs to be real - I’m not looking up the dumb@$$ arbitrary laws of whatever state I happen to be in before I use *my own judgement* to determine what I think my child can handle before I pop into a store for a few minutes.

Some of you really need to grow a spine.

It’s not about your spine or your kid’s spine. It’s about what other people can do to 7 year olds.

If you want to talk about what people "can" do to other people then almost no one should be left in a car alone. I'm 5' tall and weigh 100 lbs. People can do all kinds of things to me if they want and yet I am alone in public all the time.

In MD the law says you can't leave a 7 yr old alone in a car but you can leave an 8 yr old alone in a car. Are 8 yr olds more impervious to what other people can do? Of course not.

This is about the maturity level of the child. Most states have determined a 7 yr old is mature enough to sit in a car alone. Because they are. Just because you can imagine all kinds of crazy things that could happen to that 7 yr old doesn't mean they have even a remote chance of them happening.

I’m sure some 15 yr olds would be very safe drivers. And some 19 year olds can drink safely. But we live in a society here, whether or not you agree with every rule.

Yes and in VA where OP lines and in 42 of 50 US states it is legal to leave a 7 year old alone in a car. Yet we have many posters in this thread arguing OP is a bad person for doing it.

What's next? Yelling at parents who let their kids get drivers licenses when they can legally do so? Getting mad at colleges that permit 21 year old students to drink at campus events with alcohol?

Which is it? You have to follow the law (in which case OP is fine and the security guard was out if line) or you have to use your own judgment (in which case you need to accept people may have different judgment than you)?

+1

Everyone here knows that, in reality, OP’s kid was fine. There was an extremely small risk of anything happening in that short amount of time.

Posters just want to play hall monitor and complain about her “breaking the law” - even though it’s not illegal in VA.

Argumentative twats.

OP posted thinking she would get all kinds of outraged agreement that she was the victim of an injustice. She posted to DCUM. An anonymous message board on the internet.

Some people did agree and some did not and they are all arguing about it. And some people resort to vulgar name-calling.

What part of this is surprising to you?

I’m 100% aware that DCUM is filled with judgmental, argumentative twats.

This thread is exceptionally offensive because the kid was clearly fine. Posters just want to judge and criticize OP for sport. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting standards have changed so much. In the 80s nobody would question a 7 year old left in the car. Now we do. I won't be surprised when there are fewer babies born as the laws and requirements become even stricter for the next generation.

I don't think people are not having childten because children can't be left in the car!

How about women are tired of doing it all abd not getting help!

Np. Sometimes the help we need is to leave the kid in the car for 5 min. It’s hard dragging them in for tiny errands like dropping off a package at ups

Agree. It seems like such a small thing but it adds up. I live in a place where I can never leave my kid alone in a car (due to both the law and the fact that my area really just is not safe) and it creates all these logistical challenges that are a pain to figure out. If I take a sick kid to urgent care and they call in a prescription I have to take the sick kid into the pharmacy to pick it up on the way home or I have to take the kid home and wait for my spouse to get home from the office and then go get it (delaying when the kid can take medication). If we take our cat to the vet I have to finagle the kid and the cat from the car to the door of the vet which sucks because the carrier is heavy. If I forget something in our apartment when we go out of the house I have to unstrap the kid and bring her inside and do the whole thing all over again. It's exhausting.

I hate living in this city with a kid in part because I feel like nowhere is safe for her. DH's job has trapped us here for a few more years and I fantasize about living in a small town or a nice safe suburb where this wouldn't be so hard. And now y'all are telling me that you don't think people should be able to leave a 7 yr old in the car for 5 minutes at a pharmacy in a quiet and safe suburb because... reasons. It's ridiculous. I love being a mom but sometimes it feels like society is set up specifically to make it as hard as possible for no reason. I guarantee you that if men were the ones who were more likely to be out running errands with kids the cultural norm would be that of course you can leave a kid in the car and of course a security guard should keep one eye out for that kid. Because we design the world for men's convenience and women's burden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, this is all really disheartening. Trust me, I am not a “mommy martyr”, and in general I think that a lot of expectations on parents are way too high. But not leaving a young child (or children) alone in a car seems like a no-brainer. It’s disturbing there are posters bragging about doing this. We get it, you’re an irresponsible parent - why is that something you seem proud of? Is it more hassle to bring the kid in with you? Sure. But oh well, that’s going to happen sometimes.

OP’s kid is 7. That means he’s in 2nd grade. If you can’t leave your 2nd grader alone in car for 10 minutes, it’s either because they have profound special needs, or more likely it means that you are absolutely failing as a parent.

And everyone needs to be real - I’m not looking up the dumb@$$ arbitrary laws of whatever state I happen to be in before I use *my own judgement* to determine what I think my child can handle before I pop into a store for a few minutes.

Some of you really need to grow a spine.

It’s not about your spine or your kid’s spine. It’s about what other people can do to 7 year olds.

If you want to talk about what people "can" do to other people then almost no one should be left in a car alone. I'm 5' tall and weigh 100 lbs. People can do all kinds of things to me if they want and yet I am alone in public all the time.

In MD the law says you can't leave a 7 yr old alone in a car but you can leave an 8 yr old alone in a car. Are 8 yr olds more impervious to what other people can do? Of course not.

This is about the maturity level of the child. Most states have determined a 7 yr old is mature enough to sit in a car alone. Because they are. Just because you can imagine all kinds of crazy things that could happen to that 7 yr old doesn't mean they have even a remote chance of them happening.

I’m sure some 15 yr olds would be very safe drivers. And some 19 year olds can drink safely. But we live in a society here, whether or not you agree with every rule.

Yes and in VA where OP lines and in 42 of 50 US states it is legal to leave a 7 year old alone in a car. Yet we have many posters in this thread arguing OP is a bad person for doing it.

What's next? Yelling at parents who let their kids get drivers licenses when they can legally do so? Getting mad at colleges that permit 21 year old students to drink at campus events with alcohol?

Which is it? You have to follow the law (in which case OP is fine and the security guard was out if line) or you have to use your own judgment (in which case you need to accept people may have different judgment than you)?

+1

Everyone here knows that, in reality, OP’s kid was fine. There was an extremely small risk of anything happening in that short amount of time.

Posters just want to play hall monitor and complain about her “breaking the law” - even though it’s not illegal in VA.

Argumentative twats.

OP posted thinking she would get all kinds of outraged agreement that she was the victim of an injustice. She posted to DCUM. An anonymous message board on the internet.

Some people did agree and some did not and they are all arguing about it. And some people resort to vulgar name-calling.

What part of this is surprising to you?

I’m 100% aware that DCUM is filled with judgmental, argumentative twats.

This thread is exceptionally offensive because the kid was clearly fine. Posters just want to judge and criticize OP for sport. Gross.

Totally agree. All of the shock and concern on this thread is feigned -- none of these people actually care about this child's well being (which is fine and if anything was most impacted by having the security guard bang on the window and yell at him for no freaking reason).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on where you are - it's against the law to leave a kid under 8 alone in the car. Personally - my oldest would be fine at 7 and. my youngest I still don't want to leave alone in the car at 13.

This has been well covered in the thread if you bothered to read it. The vast majority of states would treat what OP did as legal -- they either have no rules on leaving kids in cars unattended or they bar it for younger kids but it's fine for 7 yr olds. There are only 8 states where leaving a 7 year old alone in a car is against the law. And OP doesn't live in one of those states (she lives in VA where the age cut-off is 4 and under).

I agree with you that it can depend on the kid. I'd leave my now 7 yr old in a car for a few minutes no problem -- she'd read quietly to herself and keep the doors locked and probably keep an eye out for any questionable behavior in the parking lot and report back to me on any shenanigans because she's abundantly responsible. I have a brother who I might not leave alone in my car even now at 41.

Some of us don't have time to read 23 pages of internet blog. But you do you.

[Anonymous]

My takeaway after 23 pages of this thread is that OP was willing to risk her 7 year old getting carjacked or air fried inside a hot locked car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway after 23 pages of this thread is that OP was willing to risk her 7 year old getting carjacked or air fried inside a hot locked car.

Or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on where you are - it's against the law to leave a kid under 8 alone in the car. Personally - my oldest would be fine at 7 and. my youngest I still don't want to leave alone in the car at 13.

This has been well covered in the thread if you bothered to read it. The vast majority of states would treat what OP did as legal -- they either have no rules on leaving kids in cars unattended or they bar it for younger kids but it's fine for 7 yr olds. There are only 8 states where leaving a 7 year old alone in a car is against the law. And OP doesn't live in one of those states (she lives in VA where the age cut-off is 4 and under).

I agree with you that it can depend on the kid. I'd leave my now 7 yr old in a car for a few minutes no problem -- she'd read quietly to herself and keep the doors locked and probably keep an eye out for any questionable behavior in the parking lot and report back to me on any shenanigans because she's abundantly responsible. I have a brother who I might not leave alone in my car even now at 41.

Some of us don't have time to read 23 pages of internet blog. But you do you.

Oh well in that case we will just rehash the same three arguments forever. Very productive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:7 is fine, OP. Just ignore the guard.

Do y’all not let your 7 year olds ride bikes n the neighborhood or otherwise be independent?

No we don’t yall

[Anonymous]

After OP got yelled at by a security guard, she came to DCUM looking for validation that she's right. Instead, she got the virtual yelling of a lifetime.

[Anonymous]

You suck OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway after 23 pages of this thread is that OP was willing to risk her 7 year old getting carjacked or air fried inside a hot locked car.

Get help for your anxiety. It’s not healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recall a long ago preschool director warning all parents against EVER leaving a child in the car for ANY reason. This seemed common sense to me then just as it should be to you now.

Over 45 years ago, my alcoholic father left me alone in the car in a liquor store parking lot. Another drunk passed by, saw me and banged on the window repeatedly. It was absolutely terrifying and just one of many incidents that drove me into therapy to cope with traumatic experiences.

Completely agree with the preschool director that preschooler shouldn’t be left alone in the car. They can’t even unbuckle themselves in an emergency. A 7 year old, can leave the car.

So, the seven year old leaves the car and what??