Just got yelled at for leaving my kid alone in in the car while I went to the pharmacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on where you are - it's against the law to leave a kid under 8 alone in the car. Personally - my oldest would be fine at 7 and. my youngest I still don't want to leave alone in the car at 13.

This has been well covered in the thread if you bothered to read it. The vast majority of states would treat what OP did as legal -- they either have no rules on leaving kids in cars unattended or they bar it for younger kids but it's fine for 7 yr olds. There are only 8 states where leaving a 7 year old alone in a car is against the law. And OP doesn't live in one of those states (she lives in VA where the age cut-off is 4 and under).

I agree with you that it can depend on the kid. I'd leave my now 7 yr old in a car for a few minutes no problem -- she'd read quietly to herself and keep the doors locked and probably keep an eye out for any questionable behavior in the parking lot and report back to me on any shenanigans because she's abundantly responsible. I have a brother who I might not leave alone in my car even now at 41.

Some of us don't have time to read 23 pages of internet blog. But you do you.

Oh well in that case we will just rehash the same three arguments forever. Very productive.

Are you new to the internet? Or DCUM? I mean seriously - that's what 90% of this is - just yelling into the void. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

So for all of you folks arguing that OP was fine, how many of you leave your 7 year old in a running car? Sadly I still have to run errands in person on occasion. I have never seen this but I see ton of kids in the store, I think most of you don’t actually live what you are saying.

The running car thing isn't all the time-- I have done that once or twice if it was really hot out but would otherwise not leave the car running. I'd lock it either way.

And yes-- as a parent if an elementary age kid I have left my kid in the car for a short errand many times. This is normal. There are situations where I wouldn't do it (bad or unfamiliar neighborhood, anyone sketchy-looking nearby, any chance I'd be detained longer than I think) but the situation OP describes is one where I definitely would do it. Safe neighborhood and picking up a prescription I know is ready? And also a situation where it would be easy to go check on my kid if I needed to (say it turned out the scrip wasn't quite ready-- I could just go back to the car until it was).

I really do not get what the big deal is. Some of you seem insanely stressed about carjacking even though this is really not a something that happens outside of cities and a handful of close in suburbs.

Why not leave the engine running every time?

DP, but presumably because it’s not adding value to the child’s comfort to leave the engine running every time. I would assume the default would be engine off, but if the situation seemed to warrant it maybe leave it on every once in awhile.

I truly hope you are not as dumb as you seem in this thread. Because… talk about someone who shouldn’t be a parent…

Dumb like OP, you mean?

So the default is engine off. Why? Saving gas? Yes, obviously. Not polluting the planet? Also yes, again, obviously Safety, perhaps? What do you think is unsafe about a parked car with the engine running? Couldn’t all these benefits be achieved by turning off the engine every time and rolling down the windows? Sometimes when it’s really GD hot outside rolling down the windows does absolutely nothing. Have you ever even stepped foot in the DC area in August?

Do you leave your child in a car alone with the engine running? Not regularly, but I have and I will again if it tickles my fancy to do so.

Is the child going to melt sitting in the car with windows open for ten minutes? Isn’t that building resilience?

Every time you do this from now on, you will remember this thread and it will make you so mad all over again.

Great. I am happy to continue to do things like this to trigger busybodies like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

So for all of you folks arguing that OP was fine, how many of you leave your 7 year old in a running car? Sadly I still have to run errands in person on occasion. I have never seen this but I see ton of kids in the store, I think most of you don’t actually live what you are saying.

The running car thing isn't all the time-- I have done that once or twice if it was really hot out but would otherwise not leave the car running. I'd lock it either way.

And yes-- as a parent if an elementary age kid I have left my kid in the car for a short errand many times. This is normal. There are situations where I wouldn't do it (bad or unfamiliar neighborhood, anyone sketchy-looking nearby, any chance I'd be detained longer than I think) but the situation OP describes is one where I definitely would do it. Safe neighborhood and picking up a prescription I know is ready? And also a situation where it would be easy to go check on my kid if I needed to (say it turned out the scrip wasn't quite ready-- I could just go back to the car until it was).

I really do not get what the big deal is. Some of you seem insanely stressed about carjacking even though this is really not a something that happens outside of cities and a handful of close in suburbs.

Why not leave the engine running every time?

DP, but presumably because it’s not adding value to the child’s comfort to leave the engine running every time. I would assume the default would be engine off, but if the situation seemed to warrant it maybe leave it on every once in awhile.

I truly hope you are not as dumb as you seem in this thread. Because… talk about someone who shouldn’t be a parent…

Dumb like OP, you mean?

So the default is engine off. Why? Saving gas? Yes, obviously. Not polluting the planet? Also yes, again, obviously Safety, perhaps? What do you think is unsafe about a parked car with the engine running? Couldn’t all these benefits be achieved by turning off the engine every time and rolling down the windows? Sometimes when it’s really GD hot outside rolling down the windows does absolutely nothing. Have you ever even stepped foot in the DC area in August?

Do you leave your child in a car alone with the engine running? Not regularly, but I have and I will again if it tickles my fancy to do so.

Is the child going to melt sitting in the car with windows open for ten minutes? Isn’t that building resilience?

Every time you do this from now on, you will remember this thread and it will make you so mad all over again.

Great. I am happy to continue to do things like this to trigger busybodies like you.

The security guard was the “busybody” here. It could have been a police officer. OP got off easy.

[Anonymous]

Yes I do but my car runs ac without it being on while locked and my car has internal and external cameras I can monitor from my phone. I can also summon my car if someone weird came by and I needed to get my kids out of there. The car can also call the police and my kids have their iPad if they need to film anyone or call me or the store or the police.

That said I wouldn’t leave the car running even in Bethesda. We shouldn’t have to worry about this, but we have people who would steal a person’s car and sometimes even harm their kids. We also have the people who are after the kids and I think a lot of cars don’t lock if you leave them running.

[Anonymous]

So you think what OP did was stupid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7 is fine, OP. Just ignore the guard.

Do y’all not let your 7 year olds ride bikes n the neighborhood or otherwise be independent?

+1 the way people on this thread are talking makes me worry for these children who will not be left alone for even one minute their entire childhoods. I know 8 and 9 year olds who walk or ride bikes to school on their own. By middle school most kids I know are riding public transportation alone or with friends in at least some situations. A few minutes alone in a car while a parent dashes in to pick up medication at 7 seems totally normal to me. I don't get the response on here at all.

Don’t worry about it. Theyll be fine. I was alone for the first time as an adult post college when I got my first apartment, I was so scared I got a pet the next day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7 is fine, OP. Just ignore the guard.

Do y’all not let your 7 year olds ride bikes n the neighborhood or otherwise be independent?

+1 the way people on this thread are talking makes me worry for these children who will not be left alone for even one minute their entire childhoods. I know 8 and 9 year olds who walk or ride bikes to school on their own. By middle school most kids I know are riding public transportation alone or with friends in at least some situations. A few minutes alone in a car while a parent dashes in to pick up medication at 7 seems totally normal to me. I don't get the response on here at all.

Don’t worry about it. Theyll be fine. I was alone for the first time as an adult post college when I got my first apartment, I was so scared I got a pet the next day.

My kids did those things as middle schoolers and now travel all over the region by themselves using various types of transportation. But they were never left alone in a vehicle with the engine running which is the situation described by OP. How can both of these things be true!?!

[Anonymous]

I have a 7 year old and I probably would have taken her in only because prescriptions could take a while and lines can be long.

I wrote on another thread that I used to leave my boys in the car when I bought milk at 7-11 or picking up dry cleaning. I could see the car and then through the window.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's against the law where I am but I do it occasionally. My toddler was sick, fell asleep in the car, older siblings had an outdoor swim lesson. I double parked where I shouldn't have and kept checking on him for drop off/pick up. Sue me!

I would have called the cops if I saw a toddler sleeping in a car alone. Sue me.

+1

So would any responsible adult. You have no way to know the temperature in the car, whether the child is asleep or unconscious, whether they’ve been left five minutes or five hours.

You could check the car temperature on the phone AP to the car

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

So for all of you folks arguing that OP was fine, how many of you leave your 7 year old in a running car? Sadly I still have to run errands in person on occasion. I have never seen this but I see ton of kids in the store, I think most of you don’t actually live what you are saying.

The running car thing isn't all the time-- I have done that once or twice if it was really hot out but would otherwise not leave the car running. I'd lock it either way.

And yes-- as a parent if an elementary age kid I have left my kid in the car for a short errand many times. This is normal. There are situations where I wouldn't do it (bad or unfamiliar neighborhood, anyone sketchy-looking nearby, any chance I'd be detained longer than I think) but the situation OP describes is one where I definitely would do it. Safe neighborhood and picking up a prescription I know is ready? And also a situation where it would be easy to go check on my kid if I needed to (say it turned out the scrip wasn't quite ready-- I could just go back to the car until it was).

I really do not get what the big deal is. Some of you seem insanely stressed about carjacking even though this is really not a something that happens outside of cities and a handful of close in suburbs.

Why not leave the engine running every time?

DP, but presumably because it’s not adding value to the child’s comfort to leave the engine running every time. I would assume the default would be engine off, but if the situation seemed to warrant it maybe leave it on every once in awhile.

I truly hope you are not as dumb as you seem in this thread. Because… talk about someone who shouldn’t be a parent…

Dumb like OP, you mean?

So the default is engine off. Why? Saving gas? Yes, obviously. Not polluting the planet? Also yes, again, obviously Safety, perhaps? What do you think is unsafe about a parked car with the engine running? Couldn’t all these benefits be achieved by turning off the engine every time and rolling down the windows? Sometimes when it’s really GD hot outside rolling down the windows does absolutely nothing. Have you ever even stepped foot in the DC area in August?

Do you leave your child in a car alone with the engine running? Not regularly, but I have and I will again if it tickles my fancy to do so.

Is the child going to melt sitting in the car with windows open for ten minutes? Isn’t that building resilience?

Every time you do this from now on, you will remember this thread and it will make you so mad all over again.

Great. I am happy to continue to do things like this to trigger busybodies like you.

The security guard was the “busybody” here. It could have been a police officer. OP got off easy.

And for the millionth time, it was perfectly legal. So what exactly do you think a police officer would or should have done? Shot her?

You are mind-bogglingly stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's against the law where I am but I do it occasionally. My toddler was sick, fell asleep in the car, older siblings had an outdoor swim lesson. I double parked where I shouldn't have and kept checking on him for drop off/pick up. Sue me!

I would have called the cops if I saw a toddler sleeping in a car alone. Sue me.

+1

So would any responsible adult. You have no way to know the temperature in the car, whether the child is asleep or unconscious, whether they’ve been left five minutes or five hours.

You could check the car temperature on the phone AP to the car

Is that a standard thing now?

[Anonymous]

People are so self-righteous about certain child safety issues even when they are simply wrong. Often people are just externalizing random anxiety because it makes them feel in control to yell at another person. There is often a serious lack of self-awareness.

I once saw a woman pull over to scream (and I mean scream) at a dad who was walking down the sidewalk with his daughter. They were walking fairly slowly (kid was like 2 or 3) and the dad was maybe a couple steps in front of the kid but was clearly attentive -- I was walking a bit behind and watched him talking to her and making sure she was walking on the inside of the sidewalk away from traffic. He had his phone in his hand but was just glancing at it periodically.

Then this woman stops her SUV and rolls down her window and screams at this guy to "stop looking at his phone and watch your child!" Again the child was on the sidewalk and was totally fine and the dad was watching her. I have no idea what this woman was freaking out about -- I guess she saw the guy looking at his phone and decided to make an example out of him. Then she kept saying "people speed on this road all the time! people hop the curb all the time!" So I guess her argument was that this dad was irresponsible for being on that sidewalk at all. I guess he should have put his kid in the car to go wherever they were going because all the speeders and dangerous drivers mean he's negligent for taking his child for a walk.

And the kicker here is that this woman was stopped *in traffic* when this was happening. Other cars where having to change lanes to get around her while she had her little meltdown and this poor dad is just staring at her like wtf is happening.

This thread is making me think about that woman. Y'all want to take your own anxiety and fears about carjacking and crime out on some stranger whose kid is FINE. And you can't even see that you are just externalizing your fear and scapegoating perfectly good parents as somehow responsible for everything you find scary and unpredictable about the world. You need all the other parents to be as anxious and overzealous as you are to justify your disordered thinking because that's easier for you then actually finding a way to calm the heck down and make practical and grounded decisions about safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

So for all of you folks arguing that OP was fine, how many of you leave your 7 year old in a running car? Sadly I still have to run errands in person on occasion. I have never seen this but I see ton of kids in the store, I think most of you don’t actually live what you are saying.

The running car thing isn't all the time-- I have done that once or twice if it was really hot out but would otherwise not leave the car running. I'd lock it either way.

And yes-- as a parent if an elementary age kid I have left my kid in the car for a short errand many times. This is normal. There are situations where I wouldn't do it (bad or unfamiliar neighborhood, anyone sketchy-looking nearby, any chance I'd be detained longer than I think) but the situation OP describes is one where I definitely would do it. Safe neighborhood and picking up a prescription I know is ready? And also a situation where it would be easy to go check on my kid if I needed to (say it turned out the scrip wasn't quite ready-- I could just go back to the car until it was).

I really do not get what the big deal is. Some of you seem insanely stressed about carjacking even though this is really not a something that happens outside of cities and a handful of close in suburbs.

Why not leave the engine running every time?

DP, but presumably because it’s not adding value to the child’s comfort to leave the engine running every time. I would assume the default would be engine off, but if the situation seemed to warrant it maybe leave it on every once in awhile.

I truly hope you are not as dumb as you seem in this thread. Because… talk about someone who shouldn’t be a parent…

Dumb like OP, you mean?

So the default is engine off. Why? Saving gas? Yes, obviously. Not polluting the planet? Also yes, again, obviously Safety, perhaps? What do you think is unsafe about a parked car with the engine running? Couldn’t all these benefits be achieved by turning off the engine every time and rolling down the windows? Sometimes when it’s really GD hot outside rolling down the windows does absolutely nothing. Have you ever even stepped foot in the DC area in August?

Do you leave your child in a car alone with the engine running? Not regularly, but I have and I will again if it tickles my fancy to do so.

Is the child going to melt sitting in the car with windows open for ten minutes? Isn’t that building resilience?

Every time you do this from now on, you will remember this thread and it will make you so mad all over again.

Great. I am happy to continue to do things like this to trigger busybodies like you.

The security guard was the “busybody” here. It could have been a police officer. OP got off easy.

And for the millionth time, it was perfectly legal. So what exactly do you think a police officer would or should have done? Shot her?

You are mind-bogglingly stupid.

You sound easily triggered. Simmer down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's against the law where I am but I do it occasionally. My toddler was sick, fell asleep in the car, older siblings had an outdoor swim lesson. I double parked where I shouldn't have and kept checking on him for drop off/pick up. Sue me!

I would have called the cops if I saw a toddler sleeping in a car alone. Sue me.

+1

So would any responsible adult. You have no way to know the temperature in the car, whether the child is asleep or unconscious, whether they’ve been left five minutes or five hours.

You could check the car temperature on the phone AP to the car

Is that a standard thing now?

I am not sure but even on the cheapest Teslas you can remote control most stuff on the car from the phone AP including monitoring the cameras and inside temp. I think can set max speed for cruise control also if you have teens but I don’t use that. You have the exact location on the AP, and you need a pin to start the car. nobody has time to steal that thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parenting standards have changed so much. In the 80s nobody would question a 7 year old left in the car. Now we do. I won't be surprised when there are fewer babies born as the laws and requirements become even stricter for the next generation.

I don't think people are not having childten because children can't be left in the car!

How about women are tired of doing it all abd not getting help!

Np. Sometimes the help we need is to leave the kid in the car for 5 min. It’s hard dragging them in for tiny errands like dropping off a package at ups

Then op will have to take the consequences...guard yelling at her or calling the cops. She could have made him come in, you know? Who is in charge? The kid obviously!