Just got yelled at for leaving my kid alone in in the car while I went to the pharmacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, this is all really disheartening. Trust me, I am not a “mommy martyr”, and in general I think that a lot of expectations on parents are way too high. But not leaving a young child (or children) alone in a car seems like a no-brainer. It’s disturbing there are posters bragging about doing this. We get it, you’re an irresponsible parent - why is that something you seem proud of? Is it more hassle to bring the kid in with you? Sure. But oh well, that’s going to happen sometimes.

OP’s kid is 7. That means he’s in 2nd grade. If you can’t leave your 2nd grader alone in car for 10 minutes, it’s either because they have profound special needs, or more likely it means that you are absolutely failing as a parent.

And everyone needs to be real - I’m not looking up the dumb@$$ arbitrary laws of whatever state I happen to be in before I use *my own judgement* to determine what I think my child can handle before I pop into a store for a few minutes.

Some of you really need to grow a spine.

I’m convinced the mom who keeps sharing the story of bringing her tantruming toddler into a preschool pickup doesn’t actually have any kids 7 or older because she seems very out of touch with parenting kids this age.

Well aren’t you a fool then. You think parents all leave their kids in cars everywhere? Do you live anywhere near kids? My kids are 8, 10, and 14. The vast majority of parents take their kids with them and don’t leave them in running cars.

Running cars no. I agree that was not a great decision. But I have left my 7 year old in the car (locked and shut off) for something small like dropping off a UPS return that just needs a quick barcode scan. Or to walk to the entrance of a building to sign a kid out or camp. It’s totally legal and my kid is like safer or just as safe the car for a few minutes than walking through a parking lot.

The OP is about a child left unattended in a vehicle with the engine running.

OP could not be bothered to just shut off the engine that is the problem.

No child is getting some sort of character building experience from that.

Usually such parents leave the engine running to keep the a/c on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

So for all of you folks arguing that OP was fine, how many of you leave your 7 year old in a running car? Sadly I still have to run errands in person on occasion. I have never seen this but I see ton of kids in the store, I think most of you don’t actually live what you are saying.

The running car thing isn't all the time-- I have done that once or twice if it was really hot out but would otherwise not leave the car running. I'd lock it either way.

And yes-- as a parent if an elementary age kid I have left my kid in the car for a short errand many times. This is normal. There are situations where I wouldn't do it (bad or unfamiliar neighborhood, anyone sketchy-looking nearby, any chance I'd be detained longer than I think) but the situation OP describes is one where I definitely would do it. Safe neighborhood and picking up a prescription I know is ready? And also a situation where it would be easy to go check on my kid if I needed to (say it turned out the scrip wasn't quite ready-- I could just go back to the car until it was).

I really do not get what the big deal is. Some of you seem insanely stressed about carjacking even though this is really not a something that happens outside of cities and a handful of close in suburbs.

Why not leave the engine running every time?

DP, but presumably because it’s not adding value to the child’s comfort to leave the engine running every time. I would assume the default would be engine off, but if the situation seemed to warrant it maybe leave it on every once in awhile.

I truly hope you are not as dumb as you seem in this thread. Because… talk about someone who shouldn’t be a parent…

Dumb like OP, you mean?

So the default is engine off. Why? Saving gas? Not polluting the planet? Safety, perhaps? Couldn’t all these benefits be achieved by turning off the engine every time and rolling down the windows?

Do you leave your child in a car alone with the engine running?

[Anonymous]

Depending on where you are - it's against the law to leave a kid under 8 alone in the car. Personally - my oldest would be fine at 7 and. my youngest I still don't want to leave alone in the car at 13.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, this is all really disheartening. Trust me, I am not a “mommy martyr”, and in general I think that a lot of expectations on parents are way too high. But not leaving a young child (or children) alone in a car seems like a no-brainer. It’s disturbing there are posters bragging about doing this. We get it, you’re an irresponsible parent - why is that something you seem proud of? Is it more hassle to bring the kid in with you? Sure. But oh well, that’s going to happen sometimes.

OP’s kid is 7. That means he’s in 2nd grade. If you can’t leave your 2nd grader alone in car for 10 minutes, it’s either because they have profound special needs, or more likely it means that you are absolutely failing as a parent.

And everyone needs to be real - I’m not looking up the dumb@$$ arbitrary laws of whatever state I happen to be in before I use *my own judgement* to determine what I think my child can handle before I pop into a store for a few minutes.

Some of you really need to grow a spine.

I’m convinced the mom who keeps sharing the story of bringing her tantruming toddler into a preschool pickup doesn’t actually have any kids 7 or older because she seems very out of touch with parenting kids this age.

Well aren’t you a fool then. You think parents all leave their kids in cars everywhere? Do you live anywhere near kids? My kids are 8, 10, and 14. The vast majority of parents take their kids with them and don’t leave them in running cars.

Running cars no. I agree that was not a great decision. But I have left my 7 year old in the car (locked and shut off) for something small like dropping off a UPS return that just needs a quick barcode scan. Or to walk to the entrance of a building to sign a kid out or camp. It’s totally legal and my kid is like safer or just as safe the car for a few minutes than walking through a parking lot.

The OP is about a child left unattended in a vehicle with the engine running.

OP could not be bothered to just shut off the engine that is the problem.

No child is getting some sort of character building experience from that.

Usually such parents leave the engine running to keep the a/c on.

Yes, they could just open the windows. Ten minutes without AC is character building.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depending on where you are - it's against the law to leave a kid under 8 alone in the car. Personally - my oldest would be fine at 7 and. my youngest I still don't want to leave alone in the car at 13.

oP was in Va where it’s not illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, this is all really disheartening. Trust me, I am not a “mommy martyr”, and in general I think that a lot of expectations on parents are way too high. But not leaving a young child (or children) alone in a car seems like a no-brainer. It’s disturbing there are posters bragging about doing this. We get it, you’re an irresponsible parent - why is that something you seem proud of? Is it more hassle to bring the kid in with you? Sure. But oh well, that’s going to happen sometimes.

OP’s kid is 7. That means he’s in 2nd grade. If you can’t leave your 2nd grader alone in car for 10 minutes, it’s either because they have profound special needs, or more likely it means that you are absolutely failing as a parent.

And everyone needs to be real - I’m not looking up the dumb@$$ arbitrary laws of whatever state I happen to be in before I use *my own judgement* to determine what I think my child can handle before I pop into a store for a few minutes.

Some of you really need to grow a spine.

It’s not about your spine or your kid’s spine. It’s about what other people can do to 7 year olds.

If you want to talk about what people "can" do to other people then almost no one should be left in a car alone. I'm 5' tall and weigh 100 lbs. People can do all kinds of things to me if they want and yet I am alone in public all the time.

In MD the law says you can't leave a 7 yr old alone in a car but you can leave an 8 yr old alone in a car. Are 8 yr olds more impervious to what other people can do? Of course not.

This is about the maturity level of the child. Most states have determined a 7 yr old is mature enough to sit in a car alone. Because they are. Just because you can imagine all kinds of crazy things that could happen to that 7 yr old doesn't mean they have even a remote chance of them happening.

I’m sure some 15 yr olds would be very safe drivers. And some 19 year olds can drink safely. But we live in a society here, whether or not you agree with every rule.

Yes and in VA where OP lines and in 42 of 50 US states it is legal to leave a 7 year old alone in a car. Yet we have many posters in this thread arguing OP is a bad person for doing it.

What's next? Yelling at parents who let their kids get drivers licenses when they can legally do so? Getting mad at colleges that permit 21 year old students to drink at campus events with alcohol?

Which is it? You have to follow the law (in which case OP is fine and the security guard was out if line) or you have to use your own judgment (in which case you need to accept people may have different judgment than you)?

+1

Everyone here knows that, in reality, OP’s kid was fine. There was an extremely small risk of anything happening in that short amount of time.

Posters just want to play hall monitor and complain about her “breaking the law” - even though it’s not illegal in VA.

Argumentative twats.

OP posted thinking she would get all kinds of outraged agreement that she was the victim of an injustice. She posted to DCUM. An anonymous message board on the internet.

Some people did agree and some did not and they are all arguing about it. And some people resort to vulgar name-calling.

What part of this is surprising to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

So for all of you folks arguing that OP was fine, how many of you leave your 7 year old in a running car? Sadly I still have to run errands in person on occasion. I have never seen this but I see ton of kids in the store, I think most of you don’t actually live what you are saying.

The running car thing isn't all the time-- I have done that once or twice if it was really hot out but would otherwise not leave the car running. I'd lock it either way.

And yes-- as a parent if an elementary age kid I have left my kid in the car for a short errand many times. This is normal. There are situations where I wouldn't do it (bad or unfamiliar neighborhood, anyone sketchy-looking nearby, any chance I'd be detained longer than I think) but the situation OP describes is one where I definitely would do it. Safe neighborhood and picking up a prescription I know is ready? And also a situation where it would be easy to go check on my kid if I needed to (say it turned out the scrip wasn't quite ready-- I could just go back to the car until it was).

I really do not get what the big deal is. Some of you seem insanely stressed about carjacking even though this is really not a something that happens outside of cities and a handful of close in suburbs.

Why not leave the engine running every time?

DP, but presumably because it’s not adding value to the child’s comfort to leave the engine running every time. I would assume the default would be engine off, but if the situation seemed to warrant it maybe leave it on every once in awhile.

I truly hope you are not as dumb as you seem in this thread. Because… talk about someone who shouldn’t be a parent…

Dumb like OP, you mean?

So the default is engine off. Why? Saving gas? Yes, obviously. Not polluting the planet? Also yes, again, obviously Safety, perhaps? What do you think is unsafe about a parked car with the engine running? Couldn’t all these benefits be achieved by turning off the engine every time and rolling down the windows? Sometimes when it’s really GD hot outside rolling down the windows does absolutely nothing. Have you ever even stepped foot in the DC area in August?

Do you leave your child in a car alone with the engine running? Not regularly, but I have and I will again if it tickles my fancy to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The security guard should have GUARDED and just made sure nobody bothered your kid. THAT would have been actually helpful. A responsible 7 yr old would be fine in a car for ten minutes.

Well said!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on where you are - it's against the law to leave a kid under 8 alone in the car. Personally - my oldest would be fine at 7 and. my youngest I still don't want to leave alone in the car at 13.

oP was in Va where it’s not illegal.

Then why did the guard tell her off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parenting standards have changed so much. In the 80s nobody would question a 7 year old left in the car. Now we do. I won't be surprised when there are fewer babies born as the laws and requirements become even stricter for the next generation.

I don't think people are not having childten because children can't be left in the car!

How about women are tired of doing it all abd not getting help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recall a long ago preschool director warning all parents against EVER leaving a child in the car for ANY reason. This seemed common sense to me then just as it should be to you now.

Over 45 years ago, my alcoholic father left me alone in the car in a liquor store parking lot. Another drunk passed by, saw me and banged on the window repeatedly. It was absolutely terrifying and just one of many incidents that drove me into therapy to cope with traumatic experiences.

Completely agree with the preschool director that preschooler shouldn’t be left alone in the car. They can’t even unbuckle themselves in an emergency. A 7 year old, can leave the car.

Np. Trying to imagine the emergency that could befall a preschooler strapped into a carseat 60 feet of asphalt away from me and in full view, the circumstance in which I frequently left my preschooler strapped in to pick up another kid. But I just as frequently didn’t because I was afraid of people like you.

Cool. Your fears of an unknown me stopped you from breaking the law (I’m in VA where apparently the age is 4).

The thing about this law is they also can’t imagine all the circumstances. Clearly you felt you could in this circumstance.

A preschool director probably dealt with upset parents at one point when someone did this saying “they left that kid in the CAR!!!” And then had to make a rule because they are mandated reporters and didn’t want to have to call CPS on a parent for such a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this thread.

I am curious what the security guard's behavior would have been if OP was a man.

I also used to read in the car at this age while my mom ran errands. She generally gave me a choice. She would not have left the car running so the choice would have been "stay in the uncomfortably hot car and read or come on the boring errand with AC." I usually chose car because I like being warm and love reading.

Some of you are overstating the risk of carjacking. Also isn't the security guard there to prevent carjacking?

I do this sometimes when I need to run in the house to grab something (we live in an apartment building). If I know it will only be a couple minutes, and I can look out the window to check on DC if I need to. DC knows how to get out of the car and come in the building on their own if they needed to.

It's actually good for kids to earn some independence and trust as they get older. It's good parenting to give them opportunities to be alone in public spaces in small doses. In a few years my kid will be in middle school and will be riding a public bus to school on their own. How will they reach the point where that is possible if they are never left alone in public for even a few minutes before the age of 10?

So for all of you folks arguing that OP was fine, how many of you leave your 7 year old in a running car? Sadly I still have to run errands in person on occasion. I have never seen this but I see ton of kids in the store, I think most of you don’t actually live what you are saying.

The running car thing isn't all the time-- I have done that once or twice if it was really hot out but would otherwise not leave the car running. I'd lock it either way.

And yes-- as a parent if an elementary age kid I have left my kid in the car for a short errand many times. This is normal. There are situations where I wouldn't do it (bad or unfamiliar neighborhood, anyone sketchy-looking nearby, any chance I'd be detained longer than I think) but the situation OP describes is one where I definitely would do it. Safe neighborhood and picking up a prescription I know is ready? And also a situation where it would be easy to go check on my kid if I needed to (say it turned out the scrip wasn't quite ready-- I could just go back to the car until it was).

I really do not get what the big deal is. Some of you seem insanely stressed about carjacking even though this is really not a something that happens outside of cities and a handful of close in suburbs.

Why not leave the engine running every time?

DP, but presumably because it’s not adding value to the child’s comfort to leave the engine running every time. I would assume the default would be engine off, but if the situation seemed to warrant it maybe leave it on every once in awhile.

I truly hope you are not as dumb as you seem in this thread. Because… talk about someone who shouldn’t be a parent…

Dumb like OP, you mean?

So the default is engine off. Why? Saving gas? Yes, obviously. Not polluting the planet? Also yes, again, obviously Safety, perhaps? What do you think is unsafe about a parked car with the engine running? Couldn’t all these benefits be achieved by turning off the engine every time and rolling down the windows? Sometimes when it’s really GD hot outside rolling down the windows does absolutely nothing. Have you ever even stepped foot in the DC area in August?

Do you leave your child in a car alone with the engine running? Not regularly, but I have and I will again if it tickles my fancy to do so.

Is the child going to melt sitting in the car with windows open for ten minutes? Isn’t that building resilience?

Every time you do this from now on, you will remember this thread and it will make you so mad all over again.

[Anonymous]

7 is fine, OP. Just ignore the guard.

Do y’all not let your 7 year olds ride bikes n the neighborhood or otherwise be independent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, this is all really disheartening. Trust me, I am not a “mommy martyr”, and in general I think that a lot of expectations on parents are way too high. But not leaving a young child (or children) alone in a car seems like a no-brainer. It’s disturbing there are posters bragging about doing this. We get it, you’re an irresponsible parent - why is that something you seem proud of? Is it more hassle to bring the kid in with you? Sure. But oh well, that’s going to happen sometimes.

OP’s kid is 7. That means he’s in 2nd grade. If you can’t leave your 2nd grader alone in car for 10 minutes, it’s either because they have profound special needs, or more likely it means that you are absolutely failing as a parent.

And everyone needs to be real - I’m not looking up the dumb@$$ arbitrary laws of whatever state I happen to be in before I use *my own judgement* to determine what I think my child can handle before I pop into a store for a few minutes.

Some of you really need to grow a spine.

I’m convinced the mom who keeps sharing the story of bringing her tantruming toddler into a preschool pickup doesn’t actually have any kids 7 or older because she seems very out of touch with parenting kids this age.

Well aren’t you a fool then. You think parents all leave their kids in cars everywhere? Do you live anywhere near kids? My kids are 8, 10, and 14. The vast majority of parents take their kids with them and don’t leave them in running cars.

Running cars no. I agree that was not a great decision. But I have left my 7 year old in the car (locked and shut off) for something small like dropping off a UPS return that just needs a quick barcode scan. Or to walk to the entrance of a building to sign a kid out or camp. It’s totally legal and my kid is like safer or just as safe the car for a few minutes than walking through a parking lot.

The OP is about a child left unattended in a vehicle with the engine running.

OP could not be bothered to just shut off the engine that is the problem.

No child is getting some sort of character building experience from that.

Usually such parents leave the engine running to keep the a/c on.

Yes, they could just open the windows. Ten minutes without AC is character building.

"Temperatures inside a locked car can reach 170 F. They can reach deadly temperatures in 10 minutes. They can reach these temperatures even when the outside air temperature is only in the 60s. Opening the window 2 inches has no affect on the internal temperature. "

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-dangers-of-leaving-children-unattended-in-the-car#:~:text=Temperatures%20inside%20a%20locked%20car,affect%20on%20the%20internal%20temperature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, this is all really disheartening. Trust me, I am not a “mommy martyr”, and in general I think that a lot of expectations on parents are way too high. But not leaving a young child (or children) alone in a car seems like a no-brainer. It’s disturbing there are posters bragging about doing this. We get it, you’re an irresponsible parent - why is that something you seem proud of? Is it more hassle to bring the kid in with you? Sure. But oh well, that’s going to happen sometimes.

OP’s kid is 7. That means he’s in 2nd grade. If you can’t leave your 2nd grader alone in car for 10 minutes, it’s either because they have profound special needs, or more likely it means that you are absolutely failing as a parent.

And everyone needs to be real - I’m not looking up the dumb@$$ arbitrary laws of whatever state I happen to be in before I use *my own judgement* to determine what I think my child can handle before I pop into a store for a few minutes.

Some of you really need to grow a spine.

P
I’m convinced the mom who keeps sharing the story of bringing her tantruming toddler into a preschool pickup doesn’t actually have any kids 7 or older because she seems very out of touch with parenting kids this age.

Well aren’t you a fool then. You think parents all leave their kids in cars everywhere? Do you live anywhere near kids? My kids are 8, 10, and 14. The vast majority of parents take their kids with them and don’t leave them in running cars.

Running cars no. I agree that was not a great decision. But I have left my 7 year old in the car (locked and shut off) for something small like dropping off a UPS return that just needs a quick barcode scan. Or to walk to the entrance of a building to sign a kid out or camp. It’s totally legal and my kid is like safer or just as safe the car for a few minutes than walking through a parking lot.

The OP is about a child left unattended in a vehicle with the engine running.

OP could not be bothered to just shut off the engine that is the problem.

No child is getting some sort of character building experience from that.

Usually such parents leave the engine running to keep the a/c on.

Yes, they could just open the windows. Ten minutes without AC is character building.

"Temperatures inside a locked car can reach 170 F. They can reach deadly temperatures in 10 minutes. They can reach these temperatures even when the outside air temperature is only in the 60s. Opening the window 2 inches has no affect on the internal temperature. "

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-dangers-of-leaving-children-unattended-in-the-car#:~:text=Temperatures%20inside%20a%20locked%20car,affect%20on%20the%20internal%20temperature.

Open the windows all the way. It’s safe, right? Kid’s not going anywhere. Security guard is right there. What's the problem?