Husband promised to quit smoking pot before DC was conceived.

[Anonymous]

Child is now 4 and husband has decided he needs pot for medical reasons. Is it my fault I believed him when he promised no pot after fatherhood? What an absolute jerk.

[Anonymous]

You are dumber than dirt. How many times will women have to learn the hard way that YOU CAN'T CHANGE PEOPLE.

You are not a victim here, you are a volunteer.

[Anonymous]

OP here. So promises mean nothing? Guess that means marriage is a sham too.

[Anonymous]

And why "women"?

[Anonymous]

OP, if he is an addict, promises mean nothing. Go read up on addictions. That's the best thing you can do now because what you've been doing hasn't worked so far. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Medical reasons??! I bet my next mortgage payment he is using this as an excuse to get blazed again.

Yes, I agree OP that your husband sounds like a jerk for breaking his promise to you. When people break promises to others, it shows they do not value the people they break the promises to at all.

I would talk to him about this and address it head on.
Don't let him get away with this. It sounds like this is very important to you and if he really wants to get high as a kite, then let tell him he can do it as a single man because you and your child will not be around any longer. He can knock himself out, but he will be doing it without a ring on his finger.

[Anonymous]

Please ignore the histrionic posters, OP. Just remind your husband that he made that promise, and that it was made for a good reason. Make it a calm, rational discussion. Your child needs two fully functional and aware parents, and this is also really important to you. And needless to say, if the police were to discover pot at your house for some reason, your child could be taken away. That should be reason enough.

He's been abstaining from pot for 4+ years at this point, so he's clearly not an "addict". Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please ignore the histrionic posters, OP. Just remind your husband that he made that promise, and that it was made for a good reason. Make it a calm, rational discussion. Your child needs two fully functional and aware parents, and this is also really important to you. And needless to say, if the police were to discover pot at your house for some reason, your child could be taken away. That should be reason enough.

He's been abstaining from pot for 4+ years at this point, so he's clearly not an "addict". Good luck!

Speaking of histrionic, the police are not going to take your kid away because a little medical marijuana has been found.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please ignore the histrionic posters, OP. Just remind your husband that he made that promise, and that it was made for a good reason. Make it a calm, rational discussion. Your child needs two fully functional and aware parents, and this is also really important to you. And needless to say, if the police were to discover pot at your house for some reason, your child could be taken away. That should be reason enough.

He's been abstaining from pot for 4+ years at this point, so he's clearly not an "addict". Good luck!

Speaking of histrionic, the police are not going to take your kid away because a little medical marijuana has been found.

OP didn't say that her husband had a prescription for medical marijuana. She said that he decided that he needs to smoke for "medical reasons". If he is smoking illegally, their kid could absolutely be taken away. Not saying it's right, but it does happen, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

If he has a medical condition that would qualify him for medical marijuana, he should be willing to prove that by speaking with a doctor about it and getting the doctor's approval. Saying you need to get baked "for a medical condition" when you don't have a medical condition that can be alleviated with marijuana is no different than saying you're "allergic" to meat because you're a vegetarian or claiming a religious exemption for not vaccinating your kids when you actually just believe Jenny McCarthy.

That said, if he DOES have a medical condition, you need to have a conversation as a couple about how to manage that condition in a way that is acceptable for both of you. Maybe it's this, maybe it's something else. Either way, if it's serious, it needs to be treated seriously. If it's not serious, he needs to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Do either of you drink? That is just as bad, if not worse, from an impaired judgement perspective.

I get that you are hurt because he broke the promise, but out of curiosity, what is your main objection to the smoking? (Impaired judgement, prioritizing it over the child, etc.)

What is his "medical reason"? That definitely sounds like a weak justification...if he wants to take a hit to relax every once in a while after the kid has gone to bed, in lieu of alcohol for example, he should just say that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if he is an addict, promises mean nothing. Go read up on addictions. That's the best thing you can do now because what you've been doing hasn't worked so far. Good luck.

Pot is addictive? You have to be f**ing kidding me.
Unless he's lighting up around you or your child or neglecting his duties, back off.
Marijuana is the least harmful "drug" on earth.

[Anonymous]

OP, your mistake was not addressing this before you were married. Why wait until you have conceived a child to extract a promise like this? Is he supposed to all of a sudden reform then? If the fact that having a pothead as the father to your children bothered you, why would you marry him in the first place?

[Anonymous]

Since when is "jonesing" a medical condition?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if he is an addict, promises mean nothing. Go read up on addictions. That's the best thing you can do now because what you've been doing hasn't worked so far. Good luck.

Pot is addictive? You have to be f**ing kidding me.
Unless he's lighting up around you or your child or neglecting his duties, back off.
Marijuana is the least harmful "drug" on earth.

Pp here. Yes, it's less harmful than alcohol, no question. And I'm all in favor of legalizing marijuana and not just for this reason because I support legalizing far worse drugs like cocaine and heroin. But some people still become emotionally dependent on smoking pot and have to smoke it every day. If that is the situation for OP's husband, she needs to read the research on it. If that's not the situation, then it's another story. Note that I said "if" in this post and in the post above.