Husband promised to quit smoking pot before DC was conceived.

[Anonymous]

This is why it is not a good idea to marry a pothead.

Dr. Laura

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it interesting that people take issue with pot, but no issue with klonopin, Xanax, or valium....especially when prescribed.

Don't get me started on the prescriptions for amphetamines that so many are on.

It is like amph in the AM and benzo in the PM for a lot of folks, all under the guise of "mental health medicine".

I have issues with all of it. Pot and pills, esp.

Potheads and pillheads are annoying to me and a burden on society. Potheads are lazy. Pill poppers are drama queens and kings. People who need to get high bug me to no end. I would NEVER EVER EVER have dated anyone who used much less married someone who uses. Blech! LOSERS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it interesting that people take issue with pot, but no issue with klonopin, Xanax, or valium....especially when prescribed.

Don't get me started on the prescriptions for amphetamines that so many are on.

It is like amph in the AM and benzo in the PM for a lot of folks, all under the guise of "mental health medicine".

I have issues with all of it. Pot and pills, esp.

Potheads and pillheads are annoying to me and a burden on society. Potheads are lazy. Pill poppers are drama queens and kings. People who need to get high bug me to no end. I would NEVER EVER EVER have dated anyone who used much less married someone who uses. Blech! LOSERS!

Speaking of dramatic...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it interesting that people take issue with pot, but no issue with klonopin, Xanax, or valium....especially when prescribed.

Don't get me started on the prescriptions for amphetamines that so many are on.

It is like amph in the AM and benzo in the PM for a lot of folks, all under the guise of "mental health medicine".

I have issues with all of it. Pot and pills, esp.

Potheads and pillheads are annoying to me and a burden on society. Potheads are lazy. Pill poppers are drama queens and kings. People who need to get high bug me to no end. I would NEVER EVER EVER have dated anyone who used much less married someone who uses. Blech! LOSERS!

Where is alcohol on that list?

[Anonymous]

Soon the law in DC will likely be a civil penalty of $100 for possession of up to an ounce. There is no problem with people making a personal decision to avoid marijuana. However, it is funny to see the rabid prohibitionist and anti-drug fanatics clinging to any pseudoscientific and anecdotal crap they can dig up.

[Anonymous]

Let me add to my graveyard bump by stating broad generalizations about groups of people like "potheads are lazy" and "pill poppers are drama queens" are a clear indicator of ignorance and dangerous thinking. No critical thinking or open minded scientific inquiry is likely when thinking is done in this manner. How many successful, hard working potheads that you meet in your day to day life do you think walk around letting people know they blaze? Someone I know very well works 10 hour days, leave the office, then gets home and relaxes with a nice J. Doesn't sound like the "devils lettuce" to me and I have no problem with it.

[Anonymous]

Also, while many abuse ant-anxiety medications my guess is that some people "pop pills" to mitigate their debilitating mental illness. Following the logic to its conclusion, the post above seems to suggest that dealing with a debilitating mental illness = drama queen. This thinking further stigmatizes mental illness which is a huge problem for society and is not welcome in this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So promises mean nothing? Guess that means marriage is a sham too.

Correct on both counts. I rarely say this, but divorce him ASAP and find someone who isn't a total loser.

Grown men smoking pot. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Benedikte wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pot may not be addictive, but that feeling of escape is a hard habit to break. I would be worried that his career could be harmed if this habit was discovered, via drug test or being seen. Does he work in finance? Does he work around children? Does he have to drive for work?

Is alcohol addictive?

It is. Legal, too. And you also shouldn't use it around finance, children, or driving. But the thing is that it's legal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are dumber than dirt. How many times will women have to learn the hard way that YOU CAN'T CHANGE PEOPLE.

You are not a victim here, you are a volunteer.

Agreed. You did this to yourself.

OP here. And your advice, as to best remedial steps to take, for someone who made a royally stupid mistake is what exactly?

Buy him some snacks?

I mean, seriously, what is your specific concern with him smoking pot? I realize there are numerous ways him smoking could be damaging to your family or your relationship, but you haven't identified one yet. There's not something intrinsically evil about smoking weed.

[Anonymous]

If you choose to abstain from all substances, more power to you.

However, nothing is more pathetically judgemental or hypocritical than someone who drinks alcohol but condemns marijuana. Like all substances, each is fine in moderation and if used responsibly. But you can't tell me for one second that a pothead is any worse than an alcoholic. The problem lies with people who aren't able to control their habits, and that premise applies to alcohol, pot, poor eating habits, whatever.

From personal experiences, I've definitely made much riskier, dangerous decisions under the influence of alcohol than I ever had after smoking.

If you think someone who is washing down their "legal" prescription antidepressants with three "legal" glasses of wine, is any better than someone who indulges in a joint, than you need to start thinking more critically.

To each their own.

[Anonymous]

This is your fault. You knew he was a pothead. You should have asked him to stop smoking pot before trying to conceive anyway.

There is not much you can do besides divorcing him. Maybe ask him to do it out of the house- plan on seeing a lot less of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you choose to abstain from all substances, more power to you.

However, nothing is more pathetically judgemental or hypocritical than someone who drinks alcohol but condemns marijuana. Like all substances, each is fine in moderation and if used responsibly. But you can't tell me for one second that a pothead is any worse than an alcoholic. The problem lies with people who aren't able to control their habits, and that premise applies to alcohol, pot, poor eating habits, whatever.

From personal experiences, I've definitely made much riskier, dangerous decisions under the influence of alcohol than I ever had after smoking.

If you think someone who is washing down their "legal" prescription antidepressants with three "legal" glasses of wine, is any better than someone who indulges in a joint, than you need to start thinking more critically.

To each their own.

I am the judgmental dramatic person. I hate pills, pot, drugs, alcohol. I don't induldge in any of it. So, no, it is not "to each his own." If you need to relax, go outdoors and take a walk. I don't need to get high on drugs or alcohol of any kind. We do exist you know - abstainers. I just don't get the allure of it. I am so tired of women posting stuff about wine on fB. I am even more tired of the potheads who think it is harmless.

[Anonymous]

I have never smoked pot and I think it's pretty much harmless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Child is now 4 and husband has decided he needs pot for medical reasons. Is it my fault I believed him when he promised no pot after fatherhood? What an absolute jerk.

Im in a somewhat similar situation, though DH did quit smoking pot on his own before we were engaged. Several years into the marriage he picked it back up for stress control (long before we had a child). Its been sort of an issue ever since (child now 7).

My decision to "let" him smoke some pot was based on the realization that it really was no more harmful than any other presecription drug he might take for stress. While the evidence supports that notion, the aspect that is the most annoying is just that he smokes more than he said he would. But he is a hihly productive individual. Not all people who smoke pot are lazy as some seem to think.

As someone who does not smoke weed or do any drugs its hard for me to understand/separate the aspect of dependency that is the choice and the aspect that is addiction. Its not easy for anyone to understand, actually, which is why addiction continues to be so hard to treat.

OP- your husband may have made a promise he intended to keep but was not up to the task to keep. Ask yourself exactly what the problem with his potsmoking is. In my case, I dont like the idea that DC will be exposed to it someday. But then I have a friend whose son is totally anti-pot or any drugs, and he grew up with his dad as a weedsmoker, the kind of who smoked it in the back room or garage, away from him, but he knew anyway. This young man is now in college and I told him mom (a non smoker) that he had told me he had always known his dad was a smoker, which was news to her!

My other issue is ITS STILL SMOKE. there is no magic hippie force field that makes it not smoke because its weed. So there is that.

However: many intelligent and productive people who dont smoke weed are married to other intelligent producitve people who do smoke weed. Its not nearly as uncommon as people might think AND there most certainly is not just one pot culture.

So anyway, I struggle with this issue too. DH so far has kept it discreet enough that DC does not know, but not discreet enough for her to not figure it out someday. It sucks, and there are other issues in the marriage for sure that are really worse and make me think Im not sure I can stay married.