Holiday drama already starting

[Anonymous]

My brother and I don't really get along with rest of our immediate family. The only exception is our mother who we are both close with. I am sure the rest of the family has complaints about us. We just don't get along. Last year we decided not even for our mothers sake we were no longer going to spend holidays with people we don't like.

This year along with our spouses/kids and a couple of cousins we decided to spend this holiday season together. We have not made any solid plans yet but we are def not spending with the toxic bunch from years past.

So anyway my SIL the self appointed head of the family sent out her annual TG info of where she has decided the family will be spending TG . I put declined. She emailed me right away and asked me why I would not be attending. I said "We made other plans but thanks for the invite". My brother and 2 cousins declined her invites as well. SIL has been the cause of a lot of family drama and I avoid her like the plague. She loves to cause drama and twist your words.

So I thought nothing of her invite again until a few days later when I get a message from my good SIL (were best friends) saying toxicSIL is at it again check facebook. That crazy b!tch wrote on her facebook wall:

I am so upset right now. I found out 2 of DH’s siblings are trying to hijack the holidays and split the family apart. They are planning their own little gathering and are only inviting family deemed worthy of their presence. So upset right now for hubby!! ? Family is supposed to stick together especially around holiday time.

My cousin then jumps in and he swears the devil made him do it:

Go look in the mirror and you will see the reason why people don't want to spend the holidays at your house. I refuse to spend one more holiday with a bunch of fake ass people.

After that it turned into a blood bath. Its only August. Oh well at least there is no doubt whatsoever where we stand with each other and how we feel about each other.

[Anonymous]

Your family members (all of you) sound so immature, bitchy, and just plain mean that to advise would be meaningless. What adult resolves this sort of thing on Facebook?

The only plan I could give you, which I'm 100% sure you would never follow, is to apologize profusely to everyone involved for whatever part you played in this shitstorm, ask if you can all get together, all of you, and promise that you will never use the holidays again to manipulate and advance family grudges.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree with the PP, but at the same time, I really want to read the rest of the Facebook messages.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

5:06 you are 100% correct. I will never apologize. toxic SIL is the one that took our family business to fb.

[Anonymous]

Another evil SIL thread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5:06 you are 100% correct. I will never apologize. toxic SIL is the one that took our family business to fb.

Who cares if she started it? You sound like a 5 year old.

[Anonymous]

This family doesn't use commas!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
5:06 you are 100% correct. I will never apologize. toxic SIL is the one that took our family business to fb.


Who cares if she started it? You sound like a 5 year old.

This. You all sound toxic. Pot meet kettle.

[Anonymous]

High school is a serious place.

[Anonymous]

OP didn't say anything about posting on facebook. It sounds like OP did the right thing by making family plans with those she wants to spend time with - nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP didn't say anything about posting on facebook. It sounds like OP did the right thing by making family plans with those she wants to spend time with - nothing wrong with that.

You're so right. Exclusion is a beautiful thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP didn't say anything about posting on facebook. It sounds like OP did the right thing by making family plans with those she wants to spend time with - nothing wrong with that.

You're so right. Exclusion is a beautiful thing.

Dude. Seriously? So her options are to go somewhere where she and her family are treated poorly or sequester herself away so she doesn't offend the obnoxious family members?

I agree that the facebook posting stuff is over the top (but not attributable to OP). I think it's ridiculous, though, for anyone to object to OP and some of her other family members making their own plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP didn't say anything about posting on facebook. It sounds like OP did the right thing by making family plans with those she wants to spend time with - nothing wrong with that.

You're so right. Exclusion is a beautiful thing.

Dude. Seriously? So her options are to go somewhere where she and her family are treated poorly or sequester herself away so she doesn't offend the obnoxious family members?

I agree that the facebook posting stuff is over the top (but not attributable to OP). I think it's ridiculous, though, for anyone to object to OP and some of her other family members making their own plans.

+1. SIL doesn't get to make everyone totally miserable during the holidays and then pout when some family members prefer to opt out.

[Anonymous]

OP, sounds like this is your brother's wife who is organizing? One option is to ignore and simply move forward with your holiday plans.

An alternative might be to call your brother "Saw SIL's post on FB. Find it inappropriate to engage family in passive-aggressive behavior in a public forum. Family gatherings in the past have been stressful, as you know, so decided this year to try something different since holidays should be a time of enjoyment and peace and gratitude."

Be mature, be gracious. Don't respond via FB or Twitter.