SEVERE buyer's remorse

[Anonymous]

Any tips on dealing with a severe case of buyer's remorse? We're leaving the District and moving to Virginia, and I'm just having a hard time letting go of our walk-everywhere city lifestyle. So what if our condo was 800 square feet?? Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Breathe and just wait until your life is good (or not?) in Virginia. It won't ever be the same, but there may be some benefits from the extra space, a backyard maybe? New neighbors?

[Anonymous]

And where exactly were you when this decision was made?

For us, more space, better schools, greater safety and neighbors who actually take care of their homes and quiet down at a reasonable hour made to the move easy, although I will admit it seemed almost too quiet at night at first. We were used to sirens on our block at least once a week after 11 PM. I never knew if the people in that house really overdosed that often or just thought the EMT guys were cute.

[Anonymous]

PP, it was a tough decision and now I am regretting it...thus the remorse...

[Anonymous]

I chose to have my walk-everywhere yet leafy neighborhood SFH right smack in Bethesda.

Now of course my disposable income has dwindled to nearly nothing

Trade-offs everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Give it time - you may change your tune after you live in VA for a while.

[Anonymous]

OP, trust yourself. You made the decision for a reason. Let it play out.

[Anonymous]

Presumably there were some reasons for the decision? You really just have to focus on those.

[Anonymous]

Where in VA are you moving to?

[Anonymous]

Focus on the new place--decorating the larger space, learning more about restaurants or parks or schools in the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And where exactly were you when this decision was made?

For us, more space, better schools, greater safety and neighbors who actually take care of their homes and quiet down at a reasonable hour made to the move easy, although I will admit it seemed almost too quiet at night at first. We were used to sirens on our block at least once a week after 11 PM. I never knew if the people in that house really overdosed that often or just thought the EMT guys were cute.

+1

I've lived in NOVA for 4 years and I still miss DC. I miss the city lifestyle - going out to new, trendy restaurants; hopping on the bus/Metro to visit friends; a rowhouse with a small/low maintenance yard, etc.

But when I think about my life now (with two young children), I realize the DC life is not compatible with what is now most important to me - raising a family. DC was best for me as a single person and even as a married person. But now that I'm a mom, I have new priorities. In NOVA the schools are great and my children are going to grow up with the kind of childhood I had - they can play basketball in the cul de sac with neighborhood kids, they can learn to ride bikes in the street and explore trails in nearby parks, they'll go to the school down the road with all the neighborhood kids and not worry about friends getting split up because of the crazy charter process. Our neighborhood in the city was walkable, but I would walk by things on a regular basis that weren't really kid-friendly. Sure, kids in the city may grow up to be more "worldly", but I'd rather protect my child from the drug dealers down the street who hung out on their porch all day long.

Give the suburbs a chance. They really have a lot of positives. I think it's okay to mourn the loss of your city lifestyle, but you can't have it all. You're definitely giving up something, but think about all that you're gaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And where exactly were you when this decision was made?

For us, more space, better schools, greater safety and neighbors who actually take care of their homes and quiet down at a reasonable hour made to the move easy, although I will admit it seemed almost too quiet at night at first. We were used to sirens on our block at least once a week after 11 PM. I never knew if the people in that house really overdosed that often or just thought the EMT guys were cute.

+1

I've lived in NOVA for 4 years and I still miss DC. I miss the city lifestyle - going out to new, trendy restaurants; hopping on the bus/Metro to visit friends; a rowhouse with a small/low maintenance yard, etc.

But when I think about my life now (with two young children), I realize the DC life is not compatible with what is now most important to me - raising a family. DC was best for me as a single person and even as a married person. But now that I'm a mom, I have new priorities. In NOVA the schools are great and my children are going to grow up with the kind of childhood I had - they can play basketball in the cul de sac with neighborhood kids, they can learn to ride bikes in the street and explore trails in nearby parks, they'll go to the school down the road with all the neighborhood kids and not worry about friends getting split up because of the crazy charter process. Our neighborhood in the city was walkable, but I would walk by things on a regular basis that weren't really kid-friendly. Sure, kids in the city may grow up to be more "worldly", but I'd rather protect my child from the drug dealers down the street who hung out on their porch all day long.

Give the suburbs a chance. They really have a lot of positives. I think it's okay to mourn the loss of your city lifestyle, but you can't have it all. You're definitely giving up something, but think about all that you're gaining.

You don't even know if OP has kids. FFS.

[Anonymous]

OP, change is inevitable.

I moved over a year ago, and at first, I had horrible buyer's remorse. Moving was a tough decision. My situation was not the same as yours, though. (I wasn't moving from DC to VA.)

But really, as one PP said, there are always trade-offs. Change is difficult, but once you make a decision and act on it, it's best not to keep revisiting it and overthinking it.

You have to move forward. Over time, the remorse will fade, especially if you focus on going forward.

[Anonymous]

I felt a lot better about the burbs (Fairfax) after I found good Thai food, decent sushi and a new favorite Indian restaurant -- it's not all Applebees and Outback, thank goodness! Yes, it still feels weird (even after 6 years) to get in my car to go to Starbucks, but on the other hand, I actually have half-empty closets! That was never going to happen in my 625 sq ft Cleveland Park condo, no matter how much I loved the neighborhood...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And where exactly were you when this decision was made?

For us, more space, better schools, greater safety and neighbors who actually take care of their homes and quiet down at a reasonable hour made to the move easy, although I will admit it seemed almost too quiet at night at first. We were used to sirens on our block at least once a week after 11 PM. I never knew if the people in that house really overdosed that often or just thought the EMT guys were cute.

+1

I've lived in NOVA for 4 years and I still miss DC. I miss the city lifestyle - going out to new, trendy restaurants; hopping on the bus/Metro to visit friends; a rowhouse with a small/low maintenance yard, etc.

But when I think about my life now (with two young children), I realize the DC life is not compatible with what is now most important to me - raising a family. DC was best for me as a single person and even as a married person. But now that I'm a mom, I have new priorities. In NOVA the schools are great and my children are going to grow up with the kind of childhood I had - they can play basketball in the cul de sac with neighborhood kids, they can learn to ride bikes in the street and explore trails in nearby parks, they'll go to the school down the road with all the neighborhood kids and not worry about friends getting split up because of the crazy charter process. Our neighborhood in the city was walkable, but I would walk by things on a regular basis that weren't really kid-friendly. Sure, kids in the city may grow up to be more "worldly", but I'd rather protect my child from the drug dealers down the street who hung out on their porch all day long.

Give the suburbs a chance. They really have a lot of positives. I think it's okay to mourn the loss of your city lifestyle, but you can't have it all. You're definitely giving up something, but think about all that you're gaining.

You don't even know if OP has kids. FFS.

+1! If you're talking about Capitol Hill or Navy Yard, the drug dealers are long gone. Families are everywhere. Just check the threads on Brent and Maury schools.Don't believe outdated stereotypes.