SEVERE buyer's remorse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I lived in the city for 8 years before moving out to the burbs (no kids). I thought it would be hard to leave the city but I love the burbs so much more (I am in the Virginia burbs now). The burbs are all about convenience, space, and quiet. While I did like walking everywhere and I've gained 20 pounds in the last 3 years of living out in the burbs simply from lack of walking, I love everything else about being in the burbs. Now when we go into the city for dinner or something I find myself feeling annoyed--at the lack of parking, the traffic, the crazy busy pace. I like the laid back pace of the burbs.

It's true, inconvenience and public transportation make you thin. Live in NE DC and hate driving so we end up walking a mile or so to get anywhere. Too cumbersome to lug back a lot of groceries so we forego junk food, too cheap to go out so we cook. On the bright side we look great even though we never go to the gym and toddler DS loves walking around the neighborhood because he always sees trucks.

That said I went to my hometown this weekend, which is slow, adorable, cheap. There is parking everywhere and you can drive to the beach in 30 min. Needless to say I was a little jealous of friends that stayed. OP you will get used to your new digs soon. If you don't you can always rent it out and move elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Hey, at least you are moving to a place with a functioning EMS service.

I recently moved to the burbs and was sort of in your place--wondering how I'd adapt. Grew up with parents who were gentrifiers (think Logan Circle-ish in another city) so I had never lived in the burbs. Moved to MD and never looked back. That said, we can still walk everywhere, but it's a lovely neigborhood with great neighbors, mature trees, and fireflies!

[Anonymous]

If it helps, we bought a 700 sq. foot co-op in Cleveland park a couple years ago and I now have severe buyers remorse. Old windows meant my son tests positive for lead. Neighbor downstairs smokes. New baby and this place now feels like a student apartment not a home for a family.

No money to get out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Walkability is funny. The poors walk everywhere , took some getting use to hearing non poor people want to walk.

yeah, I had to walk everywhere until i was at least 18. it was not fun and limited where i could go. don't miss it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Walkability is funny. The poors walk everywhere , took some getting use to hearing non poor people want to walk.

Depends on where you are from. We're from NYC - Manhattan - where no one wants or needs to have a car so moving to DC was a big adjustment. We need a car to get our kid to school, 10 minutes but considerably longer on public transportation. Metro service does not compare to the NYC subway system. I enjoy my 15 minute walk to work and everything within walking distance like NYC. Now if there were more restaurant delivery options...

[Anonymous]

OP, you might find that walkability with a baby in tow is not the same as pre-kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And where exactly were you when this decision was made?

For us, more space, better schools, greater safety and neighbors who actually take care of their homes and quiet down at a reasonable hour made to the move easy, although I will admit it seemed almost too quiet at night at first. We were used to sirens on our block at least once a week after 11 PM. I never knew if the people in that house really overdosed that often or just thought the EMT guys were cute.

+1

I've lived in NOVA for 4 years and I still miss DC. I miss the city lifestyle - going out to new, trendy restaurants; hopping on the bus/Metro to visit friends; a rowhouse with a small/low maintenance yard, etc.

But when I think about my life now (with two young children), I realize the DC life is not compatible with what is now most important to me - raising a family. DC was best for me as a single person and even as a married person. But now that I'm a mom, I have new priorities. In NOVA the schools are great and my children are going to grow up with the kind of childhood I had - they can play basketball in the cul de sac with neighborhood kids, they can learn to ride bikes in the street and explore trails in nearby parks, they'll go to the school down the road with all the neighborhood kids and not worry about friends getting split up because of the crazy charter process. Our neighborhood in the city was walkable, but I would walk by things on a regular basis that weren't really kid-friendly. Sure, kids in the city may grow up to be more "worldly", but I'd rather protect my child from the drug dealers down the street who hung out on their porch all day long.

Give the suburbs a chance. They really have a lot of positives. I think it's okay to mourn the loss of your city lifestyle, but you can't have it all. You're definitely giving up something, but think about all that you're gaining.

What are you rambling on about?! I am a mom in DC and my kids are my first priority. I live in a 3800 sq ft house with NO drug dealers near it. My kids are happy and well adjusted. They play with friends, all of whom attend different schools. They also have friends in their school. Granted they attend a private school but I am not a big fan of public education these days due to the slavish devotion to standardized testing. If they were in FFC, they would be in private school. My kids also ride their bikes often. So I really don't understand why you can't have kids as a top priority AND live in DC too.

[Anonymous]

^^Yes you can keep your kids as first priority and live in DC. If you have the cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And where exactly were you when this decision was made?

For us, more space, better schools, greater safety and neighbors who actually take care of their homes and quiet down at a reasonable hour made to the move easy, although I will admit it seemed almost too quiet at night at first. We were used to sirens on our block at least once a week after 11 PM. I never knew if the people in that house really overdosed that often or just thought the EMT guys were cute.

+1

I've lived in NOVA for 4 years and I still miss DC. I miss the city lifestyle - going out to new, trendy restaurants; hopping on the bus/Metro to visit friends; a rowhouse with a small/low maintenance yard, etc.

But when I think about my life now (with two young children), I realize the DC life is not compatible with what is now most important to me - raising a family. DC was best for me as a single person and even as a married person. But now that I'm a mom, I have new priorities. In NOVA the schools are great and my children are going to grow up with the kind of childhood I had - they can play basketball in the cul de sac with neighborhood kids, they can learn to ride bikes in the street and explore trails in nearby parks, they'll go to the school down the road with all the neighborhood kids and not worry about friends getting split up because of the crazy charter process. Our neighborhood in the city was walkable, but I would walk by things on a regular basis that weren't really kid-friendly. Sure, kids in the city may grow up to be more "worldly", but I'd rather protect my child from the drug dealers down the street who hung out on their porch all day long.

Give the suburbs a chance. They really have a lot of positives. I think it's okay to mourn the loss of your city lifestyle, but you can't have it all. You're definitely giving up something, but think about all that you're gaining.

What are you rambling on about?! I am a mom in DC and my kids are my first priority. I live in a 3800 sq ft house with NO drug dealers near it. My kids are happy and well adjusted. They play with friends, all of whom attend different schools. They also have friends in their school. Granted they attend a private school but I am not a big fan of public education these days due to the slavish devotion to standardized testing. If they were in FFC, they would be in private school. My kids also ride their bikes often. So I really don't understand why you can't have kids as a top priority AND live in DC too.

Where do you live in DC?

[Anonymous]

I have three kids and moved out of DC 5 years ago. I regret it. And am trying to figure out a way to get back there in the next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thousands of cool bars and restaurants have opened up in our old neighborhood in DC. I often regret leaving. But what i really miss is our pre-kid lifestyle. The cool places don't take reservations, and you wait an hour or two for a seat. Not really practical once you have to pay a babysitter... At least in Bethesda you can get in anywhere, and everywhere is kid friendly, even if the standard is somewhat lower...

We take our kids to the "cool" restaurants; we just go at 5:30 or 6. No wait, great food, and our kids learn how to be good diners. Why limit yourself to "kid" places?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three kids and moved out of DC 5 years ago. I regret it. And am trying to figure out a way to get back there in the next year.

u needs 2 million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And where exactly were you when this decision was made?

For us, more space, better schools, greater safety and neighbors who actually take care of their homes and quiet down at a reasonable hour made to the move easy, although I will admit it seemed almost too quiet at night at first. We were used to sirens on our block at least once a week after 11 PM. I never knew if the people in that house really overdosed that often or just thought the EMT guys were cute.

+1

I've lived in NOVA for 4 years and I still miss DC. I miss the city lifestyle - going out to new, trendy restaurants; hopping on the bus/Metro to visit friends; a rowhouse with a small/low maintenance yard, etc.

But when I think about my life now (with two young children), I realize the DC life is not compatible with what is now most important to me - raising a family. DC was best for me as a single person and even as a married person. But now that I'm a mom, I have new priorities. In NOVA the schools are great and my children are going to grow up with the kind of childhood I had - they can play basketball in the cul de sac with neighborhood kids, they can learn to ride bikes in the street and explore trails in nearby parks, they'll go to the school down the road with all the neighborhood kids and not worry about friends getting split up because of the crazy charter process. Our neighborhood in the city was walkable, but I would walk by things on a regular basis that weren't really kid-friendly. Sure, kids in the city may grow up to be more "worldly", but I'd rather protect my child from the drug dealers down the street who hung out on their porch all day long.

Give the suburbs a chance. They really have a lot of positives. I think it's okay to mourn the loss of your city lifestyle, but you can't have it all. You're definitely giving up something, but think about all that you're gaining.

What are you rambling on about?! I am a mom in DC and my kids are my first priority. I live in a 3800 sq ft house with NO drug dealers near it. My kids are happy and well adjusted. They play with friends, all of whom attend different schools. They also have friends in their school. Granted they attend a private school but I am not a big fan of public education these days due to the slavish devotion to standardized testing. If they were in FFC, they would be in private school. My kids also ride their bikes often. So I really don't understand why you can't have kids as a top priority AND live in DC too.

Yuck. Totally the type of spoiled "why can't they all eat cake" attitude that sent us fleeing from DC. These people have no clue about how others live in the city outside their expensive bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And where exactly were you when this decision was made?

For us, more space, better schools, greater safety and neighbors who actually take care of their homes and quiet down at a reasonable hour made to the move easy, although I will admit it seemed almost too quiet at night at first. We were used to sirens on our block at least once a week after 11 PM. I never knew if the people in that house really overdosed that often or just thought the EMT guys were cute.

+1

I've lived in NOVA for 4 years and I still miss DC. I miss the city lifestyle - going out to new, trendy restaurants; hopping on the bus/Metro to visit friends; a rowhouse with a small/low maintenance yard, etc.

But when I think about my life now (with two young children), I realize the DC life is not compatible with what is now most important to me - raising a family. DC was best for me as a single person and even as a married person. But now that I'm a mom, I have new priorities. In NOVA the schools are great and my children are going to grow up with the kind of childhood I had - they can play basketball in the cul de sac with neighborhood kids, they can learn to ride bikes in the street and explore trails in nearby parks, they'll go to the school down the road with all the neighborhood kids and not worry about friends getting split up because of the crazy charter process. Our neighborhood in the city was walkable, but I would walk by things on a regular basis that weren't really kid-friendly. Sure, kids in the city may grow up to be more "worldly", but I'd rather protect my child from the drug dealers down the street who hung out on their porch all day long.

Give the suburbs a chance. They really have a lot of positives. I think it's okay to mourn the loss of your city lifestyle, but you can't have it all. You're definitely giving up something, but think about all that you're gaining.

What are you rambling on about?! I am a mom in DC and my kids are my first priority. I live in a 3800 sq ft house with NO drug dealers near it. My kids are happy and well adjusted. They play with friends, all of whom attend different schools. They also have friends in their school. Granted they attend a private school but I am not a big fan of public education these days due to the slavish devotion to standardized testing. If they were in FFC, they would be in private school. My kids also ride their bikes often. So I really don't understand why you can't have kids as a top priority AND live in DC too.

Where do you live in DC?

A neighborhood EotP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And where exactly were you when this decision was made?

For us, more space, better schools, greater safety and neighbors who actually take care of their homes and quiet down at a reasonable hour made to the move easy, although I will admit it seemed almost too quiet at night at first. We were used to sirens on our block at least once a week after 11 PM. I never knew if the people in that house really overdosed that often or just thought the EMT guys were cute.

+1

I've lived in NOVA for 4 years and I still miss DC. I miss the city lifestyle - going out to new, trendy restaurants; hopping on the bus/Metro to visit friends; a rowhouse with a small/low maintenance yard, etc.

But when I think about my life now (with two young children), I realize the DC life is not compatible with what is now most important to me - raising a family. DC was best for me as a single person and even as a married person. But now that I'm a mom, I have new priorities. In NOVA the schools are great and my children are going to grow up with the kind of childhood I had - they can play basketball in the cul de sac with neighborhood kids, they can learn to ride bikes in the street and explore trails in nearby parks, they'll go to the school down the road with all the neighborhood kids and not worry about friends getting split up because of the crazy charter process. Our neighborhood in the city was walkable, but I would walk by things on a regular basis that weren't really kid-friendly. Sure, kids in the city may grow up to be more "worldly", but I'd rather protect my child from the drug dealers down the street who hung out on their porch all day long.

Give the suburbs a chance. They really have a lot of positives. I think it's okay to mourn the loss of your city lifestyle, but you can't have it all. You're definitely giving up something, but think about all that you're gaining.

What are you rambling on about?! I am a mom in DC and my kids are my first priority. I live in a 3800 sq ft house with NO drug dealers near it. My kids are happy and well adjusted. They play with friends, all of whom attend different schools. They also have friends in their school. Granted they attend a private school but I am not a big fan of public education these days due to the slavish devotion to standardized testing. If they were in FFC, they would be in private school. My kids also ride their bikes often. So I really don't understand why you can't have kids as a top priority AND live in DC too.

Yuck. Totally the type of spoiled "why can't they all eat cake" attitude that sent us fleeing from DC. These people have no clue about how others live in the city outside their expensive bubble.

Trust me, I am totally down to earth. I went to college and graduate school on a full academic scholarship so I would never classify me or my children as spoiled. The point of my post is I am tired of people claiming that living in DC is a form of child neglect. You can get the same things in DC that you can get in the suburbs, except at a higher cost. The above poster was blaming DC for her reasons for moving out to the suburbs.