What would you make of this interchange between your SIL and husband? (Not sexual)
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Anonymous
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So H and I have had a rocky marriage for the past 7 (!) years. I know he has confided in his brother and SIL about our troubles but honestly, they are constantly talking without me. It makes me feel very left out. Which is one of the issues I have.
Anyway, SIL sent H an email on Tuesday, after a family weekend (his side) at their home this past weekend SIL: Hey: I know that sometimes we tend to overlook all the good things and all the things that are right and well....but your wife really did a lot for the family, was very flexible, and most importantly...really stood up for your parents! I really wanted you to know that she is really doing a lot of things and obviously for you!!! You guys do make a cute couple!!! It really has been fun hanging out with you all this weekend. H: Thanks for sending this. She has definitely gotten more flexible, which is good. I’m curious about the “stood up for my parents” – what do you mean? SIL : Call me at home when you are free.. What do you guys think? I think (hope) she's trying to stand up for me but it just feels so intrusive. I don't know. |
Anonymous
| Even taking it as ideally as possible, I wonder why he's talking to her rather than to his brother. |
Anonymous
| You have a great SIL and an ass for a husband. Keep her and get rid of him. |
Anonymous
| I don't think she means you any harm. Probably trying to foster more appreciation for you. |
Anonymous
These are my thoughts. She seems to appreciate what you're doing, OP. |
Anonymous
It's kind of weird that they are so close, calling each other on the phone etc. I wouldn't like it. Is she attractive? |
Anonymous
| As someone who's been married forever -- way, way into the second decade -- I think you and your husband should be talking to each other. If your BIL and SIL are so helpful, could they take the kids for a night or two so that you and DH could go away to Philadelphia or NYC for a minibreak? |
Anonymous
| Too much communication between the wrong people. |
Anonymous
| Why isn't she saying all of this to YOU? After all, you're the one who has done such a great job in her eyes. It's like she's trying to make herself look like a sweetie pie who is singing your praises to your husband but her real intention is to have private conversations with your husband about you. It's like she assuming the wifely role of confidant to your husband and making you the outsider. It would bug me, too. Don't stand for it. |
Anonymous
+1. Why the heck is he talking to people outside your marriage about people in his marriage? |
Anonymous
| Something's rotten in Denmark. |
Anonymous
| So you read his private email? Can't blame you I guess. Sounds to me like SIL is on your side if anything. |
Anonymous
| I hope your husband doesn't read DCUM. |
Anonymous
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OP here...there's definitely nothing between them. Though I know my H regards her highly and thinks she is THE standard for wives and daughter in laws. She does anything and everything our inlaws say and is very submissive to her husband. I don't play that way.
I do think she is trying to show me support but there's a long history of messed up crap between us. For example, she had bcc'd H on emails between she and I. I was asking her to open up a trip she was planning for her husband to all of us (she had planned it only for her husband and my husband) because H and I were going through a particularly bad spot and had just reunited after being separated. I called her out on it and H reprimanded me in an email to SIL and BIL telling her that she didn't have to answer to me. Yes, I do read his email because there's a severe lack of trust on my part. He just doesn't treat me like I'm part of his family. |
Anonymous
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Wait...HIS sil or his sister?
Why is he communicating so much with his brothers wife? |