Hiring teenagers--help me get better at this!

[Anonymous]

I have two very young kids, so no teens myself, but I'm hoping that mothers and fathers of teens can give me some advice. I've hired teens to do a few different things for me this summer (swim lessons for my older DC, weeding the yard, babysitting/mother's helper). In each case, I've been reminded of why teen labor is so cheap. A few examples....

-- The swim teacher teen and I agreed to three lessons a week at specific times on specific days. The teen then double booked other families for those same times and told me that it's okay because I can just come at an earlier time. I explained that I agreed on the other times because those were the times that worked for our schedule. He seemed genuinely perplexed that I couldn't just change my schedule because he wanted to book someone else at the time we'd already agreed upon earlier. I canceled all of our lessons, since the times no longer work, but then he bumped the other families and suddenly he's available again.

-- Hired a neighbor girl to do mothers helper work. All three times she has agreed to come over, she suddenly flakes at the last minute (an hour or so beforehand) with a very flimsy excuse for why she can't do it that day--and then I see her out playing with her friends. She has never once actually sat for us.

-- I attempted to hire a different neighborhood girl to do the same job. She was very enthusiastic about the position and said she couldn't wait to start. I emailed her two days ago with a list of dates and times to see which ones would work for her. She never responded to the email, so I sent her a nice text asking if she got the email and, if so, could she just let me know if those days worked for her. I don't know if teens use email as much as adults, so I could imagine that she didn't see the email. It's been 24 hours and no response to the text either.

-- We hired a teen boy to do some yardwork. 30 minutes after he arrived, he told us he had to leave because he forgot to take his medication. Never returned.

Parents of teens, any advice on how to successfully hire a teen to do work for you?! We are very nice people with a nice home and sweet kids. We pay well--more than I often see listed as rates for these jobs on DCUM, and always above minimum wage. We live one of the top school districts in the area, so presumably these are smart kids. I'm at my wits end, though. I don't need a $15-20/hr nanny to watch my kids--I just need a nice, responsible teen to play with the kids while I get some cleaning and yardwork done while DH is traveling. Ditto with the weeding--I don't need a landscaping company, I just wanted someone to help with the weeds that are taking over the yard. I should note, in each instance, I have hired these teens off of their OWN advertisement!! I didn't approach them with work, they advertised on our local listserv. What am I doing wrong?

Sorry for the long post!

[Anonymous]

You are hiring teens... What do you expect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are hiring teens... What do you expect?

Ha--that's what I said to DH after this last attempt to hire a teen babysitter. I just keep hearing from friends about their AMAZING teen babysitters, and I think "why can't I find one too!" I'm sure I pulled these same stunts when I was a teen, but I guess I also found most of my work from neighbors and parents' friends, so it was harder to just blow off a job, since I knew it would get back to my parents.

[Anonymous]

We always coordinate with the parents. Even when the kids get a little flaky the parents help them keep the commitment. We did this with yard work and babysitting. Once we did a few times we worked directly with the teens. We just found the ones with invested involved parents were more responsible. I think both sides felt better having the adults in the picture understand where each was coming from.

[Anonymous]

Keep trying but once a kid shows they are not responsible or motivated move onto another teen. We had pretty good success with teen babysitters and mother's helpers when my kids were little, we also found that local college students were more motivated to show up and really needed the money (several such as AU have a website where you can post jobs for their students).

But my DDs both had multiple babysitting and other jobs throughout high school, and while their schedules could be tough in terms of finding times they were free, due to sports etc, at least during the year, I don't believe there was ever a time they did not show up and complete a job they had been contracted for. They seem to have innately intense "super egos", the guilt of leaving someone in the lurch would always prevent them bailing at the last minute.

[Anonymous]

You're hiring the wrong people. There are a lot of very responsible teens who take their commitments seriously and do a good job. The trick is finding these kids. Do you have any teacher friends who could recommend some of this kind of teen?

[Anonymous]

OP, a year ago I could have written a similar post. This year I have a teen sitter and it's going okay, but I've learned to be very specific about what I want. Type out an information sheet and post it on the fridge, for example (once you find a reliable teen). Keep trying, they are out there but I've learned that being a teen employer involves also being bit of a mentor.

[Anonymous]

OP here--thanks for the replies. In one case, we do know the parents (they live next door), but that hasn't stopped the girl from never showing up to a babysitting job. We thought we'd hit the jackpot with the other girl we tried to hire, as she was telling us about her IB classes and seemed very studious and responsible but still had fun with the kids. She was also very on top of responding to emails to set up an initial meeting, and she showed up right on time early on Saturday morning. Then...nothing. I did hire a college student for evening sits, but I find that most college students are working other jobs during the day, which is when I really need some help. I'll keep trying to find those few motivated kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're hiring the wrong people. There are a lot of very responsible teens who take their commitments seriously and do a good job. The trick is finding these kids. Do you have any teacher friends who could recommend some of this kind of teen?

This. Also, when your friends say "I have a great teen sitter!" your response needs to be, "Awesome, do they have a brother or sister looking for work?" Also also, don't look for a popular kid. You want a responsible bookish geek who has few friends. Then they won't ditch you to hang with friends.

[Anonymous]

How much are you paying them? Some are more money-motivated than others, but if I pay well, they are right on time.

[Anonymous]

Mom of a responsible teen here. My 14 year old daughter babysits for two kids every week day from 9-12 in the summer time. I never have to wake her up, she keeps track of her hours, gets paid by check and deposits the check into her bank account on her own. She negotiated a raise this year from last year all on her own, and all of her bosses friends have asked for her number for weekend evening babysitting. She is a great babysitter and is motivated to make money, usually for a big item. This year, she is going for her own I Phone-which she can almost pay for already. She may also buy one big wardrobe item-a nice pair of boots, a trendy jacket, etc. We are not in DC for the summer.

In DC during the school year, she has babysitting jobs on many weekends. I have to know the families she works for and initially, the moms will loop me into the communication until they know that she is responsible to communicate for herself. She has to check in with me before accepting any job.

My advice...check with your neighborhood schools, at playgrounds ask fellow moms that you chat with if they have older kids or have friends with older kids. Then contact the mom first.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are living in a top school district I am guessing that the kids near you are quite well off and get decent allowances and such from their parents.

They very likely just don't need the money that bad to give up socializing with their friends or hanging out at home. If you want to continue hiring neighborhood teens you might need to up your pay but even then that probably won't help a lot, because they will still feel as if they are doing you a favor by working for you.

Can you find kids who are from families that either aren't that well off, or who are not given a big allowance?

[Anonymous]

I haven't had a problem with hiring teens. As one PP mentioned, I often initially coordinate with the parent before I move on to direct communication. Texting is what works best for me and second best is facetime messages to either them or their parents. Also, I always remember that I'm dealing with kids who haven't had real work experience yet and are going to screw up occasionally. I forgive, forget and Keep using them. Here are my thoughts with your examples:

Swim coach: you are expecting too much. Kid is trying to take on a lot of responsibilities and hasn't yet figured out how to coordinate it. He screwed up, then realized and made it right for you. But, instead of thanking him you fired him. He's a teen and I think he did a great job of realizing he made a mistake and making it right for you. I honestly am shocked that you didn't see it and fired him.

First mothers helper: she doesn't want the job. Move on.

Second mothers helper: you are too intense. Either hire her for a set schedule or hire her for each event separately. You may want your life planned but many kids don't. If you need a lot of time, you might want to hire more than one.

Lawn kid: he probably has ADHD, got distracted and didn't remember to come back. It's a medical condition and he can't help it.

One last thought. If these kids are connected in any way, firing the swim coach might have gotten you a reputation for being unreasonable and kids might not want to work for you. So, while you think you are a great boss, that might not be your reputation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are living in a top school district I am guessing that the kids near you are quite well off and get decent allowances and such from their parents.

They very likely just don't need the money that bad to give up socializing with their friends or hanging out at home. If you want to continue hiring neighborhood teens you might need to up your pay but even then that probably won't help a lot, because they will still feel as if they are doing you a favor by working for you.

Can you find kids who are from families that either aren't that well off, or who are not given a big allowance?

+1. Was also going to suggest hiring from a different SES group. Responsible people come from all SES groups.

[Anonymous]

I agree that some kids are just getting too much money from their parents and aren't motivated. I somewhat disagree with advice to contact the parents first-it depends on what age. I hired a just turned 18 yo for a couple week's nanny position and did not contact the parents. If she's old enough to go to college, she's got to manage her own work schedule. I expect responsible behavior and attitude and I'm getting it, but I also pay a very competitive amount. I suggest you put your own ad on the neighborhood list serve and clarify what you want. I've had good luck with that.