Hiring teenagers--help me get better at this!

[Anonymous]

PP here, I should add that it's been years since I watched Dr. Phil but I remember him talking about how the brain continues to develop until about age 25 and that teens cannot be counted on to always make responsible decisions (even if they often do, they will slip up). I remind myself that I'm not dealing with an adult who is expected to know better. I may have to repeat myself sometimes and that's okay. Expect to provide on the job training.

[Anonymous]

Get recommendations. Those are what worked for me.

[Anonymous]

It's like anything in the DC metro area: pay more than you'd planned, expect less. Yes, get recommendations from your neighbors.

[Anonymous]

It totally depends on the kid. My DD just finished Gr. 8. Of the girls in her class I can think of several who would be ideal, several who would agree to the job but then back out on you and a few others you should just never ask.

My daughter is saving for a specific thing so she is VERY motivated to get out there and babysit, dog walk, water plants, you name it.

[Anonymous]

I have a 16 year old come in and do some work for me 2x per week. She is VERY responsible.

-She called me once saying her dentist appt was running late and she may be 5 or so minutes late coming in
-She was going to be on vacation for two weeks...and offered to come in four extra days to make up for it. One time she was supposed to work 11-2 and realized she had something at 2, so she offered to come in 10-1.
-If she runs out of things to do, she will ask, "so, Mrs. Smith, what else can I help you with today?"
-She never leaves without a goodbye and a "have a wonderful night!"
-Her mom works on the floor above and I've NEVER had to contact her..

They are out there. I think you should used kids who are tried and true. Get that information from other parents- don't just hire random kids if you don't know they're worthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are living in a top school district I am guessing that the kids near you are quite well off and get decent allowances and such from their parents.

This. Sadly, the parents aren't teaching them the responsibility that comes with having a job.

Even worse when I as an employer am stuck hiring them when they finish college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't had a problem with hiring teens. As one PP mentioned, I often initially coordinate with the parent before I move on to direct communication. Texting is what works best for me and second best is facetime messages to either them or their parents. Also, I always remember that I'm dealing with kids who haven't had real work experience yet and are going to screw up occasionally. I forgive, forget and Keep using them. Here are my thoughts with your examples:

Swim coach: you are expecting too much. Kid is trying to take on a lot of responsibilities and hasn't yet figured out how to coordinate it. He screwed up, then realized and made it right for you. But, instead of thanking him you fired him. He's a teen and I think he did a great job of realizing he made a mistake and making it right for you. I honestly am shocked that you didn't see it and fired him.

First mothers helper: she doesn't want the job. Move on.

Second mothers helper: you are too intense. Either hire her for a set schedule or hire her for each event separately. You may want your life planned but many kids don't. If you need a lot of time, you might want to hire more than one.

Lawn kid: he probably has ADHD, got distracted and didn't remember to come back. It's a medical condition and he can't help it.

One last thought. If these kids are connected in any way, firing the swim coach might have gotten you a reputation for being unreasonable and kids might not want to work for you. So, while you think you are a great boss, that might not be your reputation.

Ouch. This felt a little harsh, but I appreciate you taking the time. I didn't fire the swim coach, I had to cancel the lessons because we couldn't make the new times work. He double booked us three lessons in a row, so three times I paid for a private lesson and my kid spent half the lesson sitting on the side of the pool. I saw one of the parents he bumped for us at the pool today, and that parent was pissed because THEY just lost their spot. He's a nice kid and a great instructor, but I feel like maybe he needs some guidance from his parents on managing his lessons.

As far as being too intense, she told me her schedule was wide open, so I sent her TWO days and times for just this week and asked her if either of those worked for her. I told her initially that I needed someone two days a week for a 4 hour block each but that I was flexible on the days and times and would work with her schedule. So, actually, not intense at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't had a problem with hiring teens. As one PP mentioned, I often initially coordinate with the parent before I move on to direct communication. Texting is what works best for me and second best is facetime messages to either them or their parents. Also, I always remember that I'm dealing with kids who haven't had real work experience yet and are going to screw up occasionally. I forgive, forget and Keep using them. Here are my thoughts with your examples:

Swim coach: you are expecting too much. Kid is trying to take on a lot of responsibilities and hasn't yet figured out how to coordinate it. He screwed up, then realized and made it right for you. But, instead of thanking him you fired him. He's a teen and I think he did a great job of realizing he made a mistake and making it right for you. I honestly am shocked that you didn't see it and fired him.

First mothers helper: she doesn't want the job. Move on.

Second mothers helper: you are too intense. Either hire her for a set schedule or hire her for each event separately. You may want your life planned but many kids don't. If you need a lot of time, you might want to hire more than one.

Lawn kid: he probably has ADHD, got distracted and didn't remember to come back. It's a medical condition and he can't help it.

One last thought. If these kids are connected in any way, firing the swim coach might have gotten you a reputation for being unreasonable and kids might not want to work for you. So, while you think you are a great boss, that might not be your reputation.

Ouch. This felt a little harsh, but I appreciate you taking the time. I didn't fire the swim coach, I had to cancel the lessons because we couldn't make the new times work. He double booked us three lessons in a row, so three times I paid for a private lesson and my kid spent half the lesson sitting on the side of the pool. I saw one of the parents he bumped for us at the pool today, and that parent was pissed because THEY just lost their spot. He's a nice kid and a great instructor, but I feel like maybe he needs some guidance from his parents on managing his lessons.

As far as being too intense, she told me her schedule was wide open, so I sent her TWO days and times for just this week and asked her if either of those worked for her. I told her initially that I needed someone two days a week for a 4 hour block each but that I was flexible on the days and times and would work with her schedule. So, actually, not intense at all.

OP again, sent too soon. The first mothers helper came over just last night at 6pm to see if I needed her to sit this week, so she acts interested but I'm obviously not going to take her up on it again. As far as the lawn guy goes, shouldn't he at least have called? He literally walked off the job and we never saw him again. I get that he may have ADHD, but when do his parents step in to help him manage his condition? Isn't teen work supposed to be kind of practice for having a real job?

Anyway, I didn't mean to sound combative to you, but I felt like you made a lot of assumptions and I wanted to clarify. None of these kids know each other--swim coach lives several towns over--and we pay at least $10/hr. I think others are right, though. The kids don't need the money. I needed the money when I was a teen, so summer jobs were important to me. My dad made close to $1mil a year and I worked at McDonalds AND had a paper route one summer, because we were expected to make our own money and learn responsibility. It sucked when I was the kid serving the other rich kids at McDonalds, who would come in and pay me in pennies as a joke. Perhaps that all made me a little more intolerant of flakey teen labor. Clearly I need to get over that and accept that teens just aren't going to be a reliable source of help!

[Anonymous]

Teens are very unreliable. There are some out there who are very responsible. If you know of one, you ask for friends names and numbers. The other thing is that you may be putting off a bad vibe to all if these kids you are having trouble with. I don't mean this as an insult. If a kid is put off by an adult, they will say what you want to hear and then do what they want. Hence the boy who disappeared. He either realized he didn't like the work our that he didn't like you. That's how I see it without knowing more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're hiring the wrong people. There are a lot of very responsible teens who take their commitments seriously and do a good job. The trick is finding these kids. Do you have any teacher friends who could recommend some of this kind of teen?

Church is an excellent place to find kids like this, BTW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teens are very unreliable. There are some out there who are very responsible. If you know of one, you ask for friends names and numbers. The other thing is that you may be putting off a bad vibe to all if these kids you are having trouble with. I don't mean this as an insult. If a kid is put off by an adult, they will say what you want to hear and then do what they want. Hence the boy who disappeared. He either realized he didn't like the work our that he didn't like you. That's how I see it without knowing more.

DH actually dealt with that kid (and he's very nice), but I take your point. He may have looked at the amount of work to be done and decided it just wasn't worth it. Nevertheless, I see what you're saying and I can see how a teen might not like me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyway, I didn't mean to sound combative to you, but I felt like you made a lot of assumptions and I wanted to clarify. None of these kids know each other--swim coach lives several towns over--and we pay at least $10/hr. I think others are right, though. The kids don't need the money. I needed the money when I was a teen, so summer jobs were important to me. My dad made close to $1mil a year and I worked at McDonalds AND had a paper route one summer, because we were expected to make our own money and learn responsibility. It sucked when I was the kid serving the other rich kids at McDonalds, who would come in and pay me in pennies as a joke. Perhaps that all made me a little more intolerant of flakey teen labor. Clearly I need to get over that and accept that teens just aren't going to be a reliable source of help!

OP, I am intolerant of flaky teen labor, and I didn't have to make my own money as a teenager, but did have to be responsible. (And also did have to be polite to people, including people who work at McDonald's. That's awful.) I think that the PPs who are saying it's your fault are missing the point. You're paying the teenagers to do X at time Y. If you have made it clear to the teenagers that you are paying them to do X at time Y, and they don't do it, then it doesn't matter (short of a real emergency) why they didn't do it. Even rich teenagers need to learn, at some point, that either you show up, or you call ahead of time to explain why you can't (not: don't want to) show up, or you don't get paid.

Unfortunately his doesn't help you with how to find responsible teenagers who won't flake out on you...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: . . .

Ouch. This felt a little harsh, but I appreciate you taking the time.

Isn't teen work supposed to be kind of practice for having a real job?

Anyway, I didn't mean to sound combative to you, but I felt like you made a lot of assumptions and I wanted to clarify.

. . .Perhaps that all made me a little more intolerant of flakey teen labor. Clearly I need to get over that and accept that teens just aren't going to be a reliable source of help!

I didn't mean to sound so harsh. In part, what I was trying to say is that you are one of these kids' early bosses and there are going to be mistakes and screw ups. Part of making it successful is teaching them and giving them second chances, which I really thing from everything you said, the swim coach deserved. He impressed me despite his mistakes - recognizing that he screwed up, fixing it instead of giving up, coming back to you even though you weren't pleased with him. Like I said, I am very successful with teen labor. I have about seven kids that I use regularly for different things and each one of them has screwed up from time to time. Each time it inconvenienced me, but in the big scheme of things, I have to look at their age and experience and realize that they aren't going to be perfect. I'm not suggesting that you accept unreliable help, just that you realize that mistakes don't mean that a kid is unreliable.

As for the medication kid, as a parent of a severely ADHD kid, my kid never would have remembered that he hadn't finished mowing your lawn when he got home so I wouldn't have known to send him back unless you called or texted me.

[Anonymous]

Look for a teen that works at a business you already frequent (grocery store, book store, ice cream shop). You can see how they are on the job and they must be pretty reliable and want to work if they have a job. Lots of teens over the summer want more hours so would be happy to get some extra on the side.

[Anonymous]

Ha!! I am having the same swim lesson thing at my pool.

We wrote down the days and times together in the book. Then- we get there and she says we aren't on the schedule...or another woman comes 1/2 way through our lessons and says her kids are supposed to start right now.

This week they called my cell 3 times in a 15 min span to see if we had lessons that afternoon---even though the first time they called I told them there were none scheduled until next week.

I WAH and take the kids for lessons when camps over, but they are always perplexed on why I can't do them earlier in the day...ummmmm... I work and my kids are at camp.

They are cute kids and the lessons are cheap so I just write it off. If it were one of the adult teachers through the county during the year I'd be more demanding. These are just high school and some college kids. They like me because I don't throw a b*tch fit like one of the other psycho moms so they give me extras and fit me in other days.