Hiring teenagers--help me get better at this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha!! I am having the same swim lesson thing at my pool.

We wrote down the days and times together in the book. Then- we get there and she says we aren't on the schedule...or another woman comes 1/2 way through our lessons and says her kids are supposed to start right now.

This week they called my cell 3 times in a 15 min span to see if we had lessons that afternoon---even though the first time they called I told them there were none scheduled until next week.

I WAH and take the kids for lessons when camps over, but they are always perplexed on why I can't do them earlier in the day...ummmmm... I work and my kids are at camp.

They are cute kids and the lessons are cheap so I just write it off. If it were one of the adult teachers through the county during the year I'd be more demanding. These are just high school and some college kids. They like me because I don't throw a b*tch fit like one of the other psycho moms so they give me extras and fit me in other days.

I just wanted to note that I started working in elem. school---babysitting, cleaning for an elderly couple, then in high school--retail and at a daycare after school. I also played varsity sports and kept high grades. I was incredibly reliable. My parents taught us young about showing up on time, being responsible, etc.

I wonder if these kids are a result of the 'helicopter' era of parenting...hmmm....

[Anonymous]

I agree that you are hiring the wrong people. My 16 year old sister has a part-time retail job and on evenings and weekends when she isn't at the retail job, she sits for several families. There have been numerous times her friends have asked her to do stuff, but if she has a care date scheduled, she will never accept. She is set on making money and saving up.

[Anonymous]

We pay $20 for a 30 minute swim lesson. Do you really plan to pay $10 for a one hour swim lesson? I hire the swim coaches at our pool. I think one is in college and the second is a senior in high school. They have been remarkably punctual and courteous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We pay $20 for a 30 minute swim lesson. Do you really plan to pay $10 for a one hour swim lesson? I hire the swim coaches at our pool. I think one is in college and the second is a senior in high school. They have been remarkably punctual and courteous.

He charges $10 for 30 minutes. His rate, not mine. We pay $10/hr for teen sitters and weeding, though.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids, now in their teens and early 20s. When they were little we hired lots of neighborhood kids to babysit, help with parties, mow the lawn, give swim lessons, etc. I can only remember a couple who were not responsible; the others were terrific and we're still glad to see them from time to time when they're back in town. As my kids got older they started working in the neighborhood -- our youngest is an amazing babysitter -- and we've always heard good feedback from their employers. OP, I wish I could suggest something to help, but maybe you've just been unlucky.

To those posters who have suggested that kids from more affluent families aren't as hard-working, I have to say that we live in a pretty affluent neighborhood where the kids don't "have" to work, though many are savers, including my own, so they're motivated to earn money.

[Anonymous]

I think you are having unusually bad luck and should keep trying. But you should also expect that teens often don't like to schedule a lot of work at once, or schedule too far in advance. They are also intimidated by adults, generally, and haven't learned how to be good communicators or how to say no politely. We have two great teen babysitters, and last summer I tried to get one to come regularly, like 3-4 hours a week, on a set schedule. She was initially like "summer is coming, I'll have free time, keep me posted!" and then would never agree to a schedule. I finally concluded that she didn't want to do it and just couldn't figure out a way to tell me that, and wanted to keep her occasional babysitting gigs with us. Now, as an adult, I would say (and would expect another adult to say), "I'm sorry, my summer is too unpredictable to set up a regular gig, but I would be happy to sit for you here and there, like always!" But if I'm honest, I might not have had that in me as a teen. I definitely have had teen babysitters that seem intimidated by me and treat me like I'm the principal instead of the cool lady from down the street who remembers being a teen herself like it was yesterday (which is how I think of myself, HAHA, I know...)

Anyway. The key is to remember that teens are more likely than adults to say yes when they mean no; to agree in person and then back out in indirect communication; to ignore communications if their response will be no. Accordingly, my requests are always succinct, cheerful, and specific -- and if I find myself having to work too hard to coordinate with somebody, I drop them from my list and don't look back.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and ask how they prefer to be contacted. That's huge. I have one who prefers texts and one who prefers emails. Makes a difference.

[Anonymous]

People are making a lot of excuses for teens. It was never like this wehn I was a teen. I had a paper route, and another side job doing lawn work for a neighbor. I showed up on time, and did the job. No excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are making a lot of excuses for teens. It was never like this wehn I was a teen. I had a paper route, and another side job doing lawn work for a neighbor. I showed up on time, and did the job. No excuses.

Awesome. Can you watch my kids Tuesday from 2-5? No? Oh, then your comments aren't relevant. Shoot.

[Anonymous]

OP: I can see both sides of this issue. When I needed a babysitter for my school age children, several of the neighbors said their teens were "never" busy and always available. But it seemed that our schedules matched perfectly: her teen was always (legitimately) busy the times I needed a sitter. Then there were the parents who had a pretty strict curfew on when the babysitting had to end -- like 10PM. That left us scrambling. We also live in a neighborhood where it is not so much that they don't need the money, as they do not have the time. Teens are busy. we hired a professional for those times. Nanny or college student with a car.

Now I have teens and the younger neighbors have asked us. They have very nice children, but one has four kids and one is in diapers. If something goes wrong, I know where the blame will rest -- on my teen. So then I feel I have to be home "in case" That is not worth $30 to me.

Second, my teens are very busy. There is no way they could be available to be a mother's helper on a regular schedule such as after school every day. They scramble from one activity to another with little time between. They have sports, church, home work, friends and so on. They also do not need the money or the experience, really. Unlikely to pull weeds -- lawn service does that. Same with mowing.
Although it might be a good experience, I am not comfortable with having that relationship with my neighbors. I was not crazy about the tone the neighbor took with my DD -- just way too bossy. Of course I did not say anything, just, too busy.

I really prefer some distance with the neighbors, particularly around the emotional issue of children. Perhaps I will get flamed for this but I do not think I am alone in this thinking.

[Anonymous]

Nothing you can do besides trying out different teens until you find one that seems committed (and not needing their mommy and daddy to coordinate with you -- is that a new brand of helicopter parenting -- talking to employers directly??) Are you near any colleges -- sometimes those students are more committed as they may need the money to pay for next semester’s tuition and they’re likely older and more responsible.

The wealth in the area generally definitely has something to do with this. My parents are in an upper middle part of NJ where this is constantly a problem; they and their age 60-70+ friends would love to be able to pay at teen $40 to take care of light yard work or the rare 3 inches of snow, and yet they can rarely find a teen at all looking for work and when they do, most flake out -- like the boy who ran home after seeing what the worked involved under the guise of needing medication. Frankly, most just don’t NEED the money; some have really big allowances from home, new cars etc., and many that don’t have that still know that when push comes to shove their parents will come to the rescue if they really need $50 to go out with their friends or get the right clothing, lest their self esteem (or something) be damaged.

In contrast, I lived in a working class area of Atlanta recently and almost every teen I knew had a retail type of job and many wanted to pick up a few extra hours here and there around the neighborhood to supplement income. I think the excuse in these upper middle parts of DC (and NJ) is always that the kids are SO high achieving and between getting straight As, captain of the sports teams, and other ECs, there is just no time. But the teens that I knew in ATL were no less high achieving -- lots of straight A kids there too but many were supplementing their incomes to save for college, cars etc.

Chalk it up to wealth and helicopter parents who have never held the kid responsible for anything -- don’t know how they handle “real” work places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: I can see both sides of this issue. When I needed a babysitter for my school age children, several of the neighbors said their teens were "never" busy and always available. But it seemed that our schedules matched perfectly: her teen was always (legitimately) busy the times I needed a sitter. Then there were the parents who had a pretty strict curfew on when the babysitting had to end -- like 10PM. That left us scrambling. We also live in a neighborhood where it is not so much that they don't need the money, as they do not have the time. Teens are busy. we hired a professional for those times. Nanny or college student with a car.

Now I have teens and the younger neighbors have asked us. They have very nice children, but one has four kids and one is in diapers. If something goes wrong, I know where the blame will rest -- on my teen. So then I feel I have to be home "in case" That is not worth $30 to me.

Second, my teens are very busy. There is no way they could be available to be a mother's helper on a regular schedule such as after school every day. They scramble from one activity to another with little time between. They have sports, church, home work, friends and so on. They also do not need the money or the experience, really. Unlikely to pull weeds -- lawn service does that. Same with mowing.
Although it might be a good experience, I am not comfortable with having that relationship with my neighbors. I was not crazy about the tone the neighbor took with my DD -- just way too bossy. Of course I did not say anything, just, too busy.

I really prefer some distance with the neighbors, particularly around the emotional issue of children. Perhaps I will get flamed for this but I do not think I am alone in this thinking.

To sum it up -- your kids won't be doing this because they don't need the money. Totally fine. Why make excuses here for why it isn't convenient, the tone or whatever else? And btw -- it's the summer -- kids who need money working during the summer, they don't worry about half a dozen other activities or what the neighbors will think if there isn't enough "distance" or what the neighbor's tone is as long as they're paying cash.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all the responses, but just in case no one has mentioned this yet...many high schools have a child development class. I know where I went to h.s. did, and that was in MCPS, "only" about 10 years ago. I got a lot of my babysitting from parents who posted notices on the bulletin board in that classroom, or spoke to the teacher and asked her to mention it to students. The class was essentially running a pre-school, with around 10 three and four year olds. Not everyone in the class had a passion for kids, or would be a good bet, but most people who got jobs that way were. And you can always ask the teacher for their recommendation. Hope that helps!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: I can see both sides of this issue. When I needed a babysitter for my school age children, several of the neighbors said their teens were "never" busy and always available. But it seemed that our schedules matched perfectly: her teen was always (legitimately) busy the times I needed a sitter. Then there were the parents who had a pretty strict curfew on when the babysitting had to end -- like 10PM. That left us scrambling. We also live in a neighborhood where it is not so much that they don't need the money, as they do not have the time. Teens are busy. we hired a professional for those times. Nanny or college student with a car.

Now I have teens and the younger neighbors have asked us. They have very nice children, but one has four kids and one is in diapers. If something goes wrong, I know where the blame will rest -- on my teen. So then I feel I have to be home "in case" That is not worth $30 to me.

Second, my teens are very busy. There is no way they could be available to be a mother's helper on a regular schedule such as after school every day. They scramble from one activity to another with little time between. They have sports, church, home work, friends and so on. They also do not need the money or the experience, really. Unlikely to pull weeds -- lawn service does that. Same with mowing.
Although it might be a good experience, I am not comfortable with having that relationship with my neighbors. I was not crazy about the tone the neighbor took with my DD -- just way too bossy. Of course I did not say anything, just, too busy.

I really prefer some distance with the neighbors, particularly around the emotional issue of children. Perhaps I will get flamed for this but I do not think I am alone in this thinking.

To sum it up -- your kids won't be doing this because they don't need the money. Totally fine. Why make excuses here for why it isn't convenient, the tone or whatever else? And btw -- it's the summer -- kids who need money working during the summer, they don't worry about half a dozen other activities or what the neighbors will think if there isn't enough "distance" or what the neighbor's tone is as long as they're paying cash.

Thank you. I could not have said it better. My kids are not available to anyone who flashes cash. You spelled out the exact attitude.

[Anonymous]

In contrast, I lived in a working class area of Atlanta recently and almost every teen I knew had a retail type of job and many wanted to pick up a few extra hours here and there around the neighborhood to supplement income. I think the excuse in these upper middle parts of DC (and NJ) is always that the kids are SO high achieving and between getting straight As, captain of the sports teams, and other ECs, there is just no time. But the teens that I knew in ATL were no less high achieving -- lots of straight A kids there too but many were supplementing their incomes to save for college, cars etc.

Chalk it up to wealth and helicopter parents who have never held the kid responsible for anything -- don’t know how they handle “real” work places.

I do not think those kids will grow up to do the lawn service or babysitting. They get "real" jobs, like doctor, lawyer, same as the parents. They just are not working class.