Subtle signs of class

[Anonymous]

New Poster.

I have to say, I don't get people's attraction to Old Money WASP culture. It sounds so...stuffy and stingy! I feel like saying, "live a little people!" There's lots of fun out there to be had if you are willing to spend a little money.

I suppose you would say we are "nouveau riche" and I like it! It's fun to splurge when you can! I don't want to live like a miser when I don't have to. Luxury cars, luxury vacations, eating out at nice restaurants all the time, sign me up! (of course we still save so don't @ me)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do ya’ll say about people who grew up MC/UMC but now make a lot of money and have amassed millions?

Because I would say we are still UMC even though we have a lot of money relative to the population (I don’t think it is easy to change your class just because you have a grad degree and a high HHI) but this always gets shouted down when the topic comes up on the money board.

Can you be middle class yet have a bank account with say, 5 million?

More importantly- how did you make this money? And can I (early 40s woman) get into this profession??

finance + selling stock in an IPO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The middle class man is marked by class insecurity, and can be identified by his constant attempts to not look working class. The word that most defines the MC man is "terrified". A middle class mom, for example, would be afraid to dress her child in a graphic T for fear that it would misidentify them as WC and therefore be barred from the Montessori school they're planning to afford by foregoing vacations and home maintenance.

Middle class decor is impersonal, the ideal state is to look like a Pottery Barn store. MC adults attempt to be current but understated. They shop at Banana Republic Factory and Ann Taylor Factory, along with TJ Maxx.

The MC lacks time and therefore they have limited entertainment outlets. Watching sports, premium channel television shows, and perhaps a zumba class. The MC woman who is brave may try a boutique studio like soulcycle or a yoga studio, but is worried about fitting in, wearing the right thing, and keeping up so prefers to just go to a class at the gym. MC families are very concerned the class implications of the food they eat and like to say they wouldn't ever go to McDonalds. However, they tend to be overweight.

The MC usually has relatively generous vacation time, although it is decreasing and is no longer a reliable class indicator. Vacations include beach vacations and disney. Aspirational trips are Ireland, Italy, and Iceland. The MC avoid France, except Paris, because they don't want to be seen as "ugly Americans". While on travel the MC try to fit in due to class insecurity and a belief that Americans are less sophisticated. The MC are terrified of cruises because they believe they will be seen as downwardly mobile.

The MC do not make practical financial decisions about college. They will send little Aiden to the best college possible-- defined by US News and World Report, and will take out large loans for the best name. They will send their child to a 4 year college and would be terrified of the class implications of a community college, or, God forbid, the military.

totally ridiculous, mixes all kinds of stuff. the problem starts Wirh MC - which encompasses with HHI from 60k to a million

Sounds like I've hit a nerve. Rest assured that class only correlated with income, not defined by it. It is defined by outlook, tastes, and values.

But in no world are people making 1M per year of the same SES as those making 60k, which is half of the average income for a white family.

no you didn’t hit a nerve - I am an immigrant from Europe and I don’t particularly relate to American “class” thing.

your analysis just weirdly mixes up things - people who cant afford daycare and are afraid to try soul cycle and “aspire” to go to Italy buy overpriced degrees and furniture. if they know cruises are scoffed at surely they know the same is true of pottery barn furniture?

Ok so Pottery Barn sucks (and I agree about that - amazingly poor quality for the price)- where DO you find good furniture? I haven’t been able to find any real good well made pieces.

We like Stickley.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New Poster.

I have to say, I don't get people's attraction to Old Money WASP culture. It sounds so...stuffy and stingy! I feel like saying, "live a little people!" There's lots of fun out there to be had if you are willing to spend a little money.

I suppose you would say we are "nouveau riche" and I like it! It's fun to splurge when you can! I don't want to live like a miser when I don't have to. Luxury cars, luxury vacations, eating out at nice restaurants all the time, sign me up! (of course we still save so don't @ me)

Old Money WASP culture is derived from Puritan culture. Puritanism, as the old saying goes, is the fear that somewhere, someone is having fun.

We don't just love our dogs, we have to put them in stuffy dog shows with a lot of standing around waiting. And there's usually a lot of bland food and washing aluminum foil to re-use (even though the food is served on good china with a very traditional pattern, nothing modern) at family dinners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New Poster.

I have to say, I don't get people's attraction to Old Money WASP culture. It sounds so...stuffy and stingy! I feel like saying, "live a little people!" There's lots of fun out there to be had if you are willing to spend a little money.

I suppose you would say we are "nouveau riche" and I like it! It's fun to splurge when you can! I don't want to live like a miser when I don't have to. Luxury cars, luxury vacations, eating out at nice restaurants all the time, sign me up! (of course we still save so don't @ me)

Old Money WASP culture is derived from Puritan culture. Puritanism, as the old saying goes, is the fear that somewhere, someone is having fun.

We don't just love our dogs, we have to put them in stuffy dog shows with a lot of standing around waiting. And there's usually a lot of bland food and washing aluminum foil to re-use (even though the food is served on good china with a very traditional pattern, nothing modern) at family dinners.

why though?

Just to save money for the next generation?

[Anonymous]

You use a decorator who orders from trade-only brands. A lot of it is the same stuff from the same makers in NC as retail brands, but having that same basic piece in a coordinating, nicer fabric makes a difference. Decorator can also help you mix in some antiques (which don't have to be expensive!). What makes a room look good and pulled together imo is not mainly the "quality" of the furniture, it's whether the scale and style of the furniture make sense in a layout that makes sense with a cohesive color scheme and some personality. You can drop a mint at Thomas Moser or go on Craigslist, but if your furniture is the wrong size or doesn't make sense in context it will look terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do ya’ll say about people who grew up MC/UMC but now make a lot of money and have amassed millions?

Because I would say we are still UMC even though we have a lot of money relative to the population (I don’t think it is easy to change your class just because you have a grad degree and a high HHI) but this always gets shouted down when the topic comes up on the money board.

Can you be middle class yet have a bank account with say, 5 million?

More importantly- how did you make this money? And can I (early 40s woman) get into this profession??

finance + selling stock in an IPO

"Upper Middle Class" isn't a thing. It's a story affluent working people tell to themselves and their children. Having $5m in the bank (particularly if you also own an expensive home, etc) means you're not any level of middle class. You may not feel that way because you're usually looking up and not down, and because your nest egg isn't so big that you can stop working (given current lifestyle) or guarantee the same level of success for your children, but it's true. Figure out how to describe yourself to yourself without leaning on the words "middle class" because doing so contributes to generations of little assholes who think they've bootstrapped themselves into life as a debt-free college grad because they were "upper middle class."

Also the classiest thing imo is a destitute but socially prominent long-term houseguest, preferably in an accessory building.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do ya’ll say about people who grew up MC/UMC but now make a lot of money and have amassed millions?

Because I would say we are still UMC even though we have a lot of money relative to the population (I don’t think it is easy to change your class just because you have a grad degree and a high HHI) but this always gets shouted down when the topic comes up on the money board.

Can you be middle class yet have a bank account with say, 5 million?

More importantly- how did you make this money? And can I (early 40s woman) get into this profession??

finance + selling stock in an IPO

"Upper Middle Class" isn't a thing. It's a story affluent working people tell to themselves and their children. Having $5m in the bank (particularly if you also own an expensive home, etc) means you're not any level of middle class. You may not feel that way because you're usually looking up and not down, and because your nest egg isn't so big that you can stop working (given current lifestyle) or guarantee the same level of success for your children, but it's true. Figure out how to describe yourself to yourself without leaning on the words "middle class" because doing so contributes to generations of little assholes who think they've bootstrapped themselves into life as a debt-free college grad because they were "upper middle class."

Also the classiest thing imo is a destitute but socially prominent long-term houseguest, preferably in an accessory building.

I get what you're saying. But my point is, we aren't like the UC people the profile writer is talking about. We fit into the UMC profile.

In other words, I'm asking if money alone changes your social class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do ya’ll say about people who grew up MC/UMC but now make a lot of money and have amassed millions?

Because I would say we are still UMC even though we have a lot of money relative to the population (I don’t think it is easy to change your class just because you have a grad degree and a high HHI) but this always gets shouted down when the topic comes up on the money board.

Can you be middle class yet have a bank account with say, 5 million?

More importantly- how did you make this money? And can I (early 40s woman) get into this profession??

finance + selling stock in an IPO

"Upper Middle Class" isn't a thing. It's a story affluent working people tell to themselves and their children. Having $5m in the bank (particularly if you also own an expensive home, etc) means you're not any level of middle class. You may not feel that way because you're usually looking up and not down, and because your nest egg isn't so big that you can stop working (given current lifestyle) or guarantee the same level of success for your children, but it's true. Figure out how to describe yourself to yourself without leaning on the words "middle class" because doing so contributes to generations of little assholes who think they've bootstrapped themselves into life as a debt-free college grad because they were "upper middle class."

Also the classiest thing imo is a destitute but socially prominent long-term houseguest, preferably in an accessory building.

So Kato is our upper class model?

[Anonymous]

^ As an example, we are planning to go to Portugal for next spring break, lol. Eh gad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do ya’ll say about people who grew up MC/UMC but now make a lot of money and have amassed millions?

Because I would say we are still UMC even though we have a lot of money relative to the population (I don’t think it is easy to change your class just because you have a grad degree and a high HHI) but this always gets shouted down when the topic comes up on the money board.

Can you be middle class yet have a bank account with say, 5 million?

More importantly- how did you make this money? And can I (early 40s woman) get into this profession??

finance + selling stock in an IPO

"Upper Middle Class" isn't a thing. It's a story affluent working people tell to themselves and their children. Having $5m in the bank (particularly if you also own an expensive home, etc) means you're not any level of middle class. You may not feel that way because you're usually looking up and not down, and because your nest egg isn't so big that you can stop working (given current lifestyle) or guarantee the same level of success for your children, but it's true. Figure out how to describe yourself to yourself without leaning on the words "middle class" because doing so contributes to generations of little assholes who think they've bootstrapped themselves into life as a debt-free college grad because they were "upper middle class."

Also the classiest thing imo is a destitute but socially prominent long-term houseguest, preferably in an accessory building.

Holy crap, my in-laws have a destitute but socially prominent long-term houseguest. She helps care for their horses, she was a professional equestrian at one time on the national team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do ya’ll say about people who grew up MC/UMC but now make a lot of money and have amassed millions?

Because I would say we are still UMC even though we have a lot of money relative to the population (I don’t think it is easy to change your class just because you have a grad degree and a high HHI) but this always gets shouted down when the topic comes up on the money board.

Can you be middle class yet have a bank account with say, 5 million?

More importantly- how did you make this money? And can I (early 40s woman) get into this profession??

finance + selling stock in an IPO

"Upper Middle Class" isn't a thing. It's a story affluent working people tell to themselves and their children. Having $5m in the bank (particularly if you also own an expensive home, etc) means you're not any level of middle class. You may not feel that way because you're usually looking up and not down, and because your nest egg isn't so big that you can stop working (given current lifestyle) or guarantee the same level of success for your children, but it's true. Figure out how to describe yourself to yourself without leaning on the words "middle class" because doing so contributes to generations of little assholes who think they've bootstrapped themselves into life as a debt-free college grad because they were "upper middle class."

Also the classiest thing imo is a destitute but socially prominent long-term houseguest, preferably in an accessory building.

Holy crap, my in-laws have a destitute but socially prominent long-term houseguest. She helps care for their horses, she was a professional equestrian at one time on the national team.

The destitute, socially-prominent houseguest is a real thing???? I’ve never heard of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You use a decorator who orders from trade-only brands. A lot of it is the same stuff from the same makers in NC as retail brands, but having that same basic piece in a coordinating, nicer fabric makes a difference. Decorator can also help you mix in some antiques (which don't have to be expensive!). What makes a room look good and pulled together imo is not mainly the "quality" of the furniture, it's whether the scale and style of the furniture make sense in a layout that makes sense with a cohesive color scheme and some personality. You can drop a mint at Thomas Moser or go on Craigslist, but if your furniture is the wrong size or doesn't make sense in context it will look terrible.

The points about scale and color are excellent for any style of decorating. But hiring a decorator is how you end up with generic-looking, “new-new” furniture of the Restoration Hardware ilk (good quality, at least) and strange accent pieces.

If you want modern furniture, I’m all for that, so long as a decorator doesn’t make your place look like a BigLaw lobby. If you want the Restoration Hardware look, save the midddleperson decorator, go to their showroom, and buy a suite. Same BigLaw decorating issues apply.

But this won’t be an “old money” look, if that’s what you’re going for, being the subject of this thread. My parents, who have old money, briefly hired an interior decorator to work on their 200-year-old house. She wanted to put eagle sconces everywhere, among other things. In the end, they did it themselves (or rather my mom did it) and went with a combination of inherited quality antiques (grandfather clock, Queen Anne chairs, etc) and Danish modern living room furniture (you can get a Danish Modern chair on eBay for about $1,500, not that you’d want to do exactly that, but to give you an idea). The word “suite” anything is pretty much an anathema, except in the dining room, because the point is that your furniture was collected over many generations, and of course none of it matches. Yet with some reupholstery and careful placement you can absolutely get a harmonious and pleasing whole. The result is a more personal look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do ya’ll say about people who grew up MC/UMC but now make a lot of money and have amassed millions?

Because I would say we are still UMC even though we have a lot of money relative to the population (I don’t think it is easy to change your class just because you have a grad degree and a high HHI) but this always gets shouted down when the topic comes up on the money board.

Can you be middle class yet have a bank account with say, 5 million?

More importantly- how did you make this money? And can I (early 40s woman) get into this profession??

finance + selling stock in an IPO

"Upper Middle Class" isn't a thing. It's a story affluent working people tell to themselves and their children. Having $5m in the bank (particularly if you also own an expensive home, etc) means you're not any level of middle class. You may not feel that way because you're usually looking up and not down, and because your nest egg isn't so big that you can stop working (given current lifestyle) or guarantee the same level of success for your children, but it's true. Figure out how to describe yourself to yourself without leaning on the words "middle class" because doing so contributes to generations of little assholes who think they've bootstrapped themselves into life as a debt-free college grad because they were "upper middle class."

Also the classiest thing imo is a destitute but socially prominent long-term houseguest, preferably in an accessory building.

Holy crap, my in-laws have a destitute but socially prominent long-term houseguest. She helps care for their horses, she was a professional equestrian at one time on the national team.

The destitute, socially-prominent houseguest is a real thing???? I’ve never heard of that.

PP with the inlaws who have one...AMA. She is from a prominent family with money, hence being able to afford becoming a professional equestrian in her teens and twenties. But I think she doesn't have the best relationship with her own family, hence becoming destitute and moving in with my in laws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what do ya’ll say about people who grew up MC/UMC but now make a lot of money and have amassed millions?

Because I would say we are still UMC even though we have a lot of money relative to the population (I don’t think it is easy to change your class just because you have a grad degree and a high HHI) but this always gets shouted down when the topic comes up on the money board.

Can you be middle class yet have a bank account with say, 5 million?

More importantly- how did you make this money? And can I (early 40s woman) get into this profession??

finance + selling stock in an IPO

"Upper Middle Class" isn't a thing. It's a story affluent working people tell to themselves and their children. Having $5m in the bank (particularly if you also own an expensive home, etc) means you're not any level of middle class. You may not feel that way because you're usually looking up and not down, and because your nest egg isn't so big that you can stop working (given current lifestyle) or guarantee the same level of success for your children, but it's true. Figure out how to describe yourself to yourself without leaning on the words "middle class" because doing so contributes to generations of little assholes who think they've bootstrapped themselves into life as a debt-free college grad because they were "upper middle class."

Also the classiest thing imo is a destitute but socially prominent long-term houseguest, preferably in an accessory building.

Holy crap, my in-laws have a destitute but socially prominent long-term houseguest. She helps care for their horses, she was a professional equestrian at one time on the national team.

The destitute, socially-prominent houseguest is a real thing???? I’ve never heard of that.

Someone’s been watching Downton Abbey and is thinking of the dowager countess or whatever happens er title was.