Uncomfortable religious situations you were forced into

[Anonymous]

If a neighbor took care of my kid for almost a week and they need to bring their family to their place of worship, my kid better be respectful and not complain. Rather than go on an Anonymous forum like here, years later, and bash the neighbors as if they were rude or bad people. My goodness. Be thankful for that kind neighbor who took you in!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lately I have been thinking about a situation that happened when I was around 14-15 years old. My mom had to go out of town for some reason or another and since she was a single parent she found a family from my soccer team that was willing to have me stay with them from Sunday-Wednesday. I remember every single detail of this time because it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life.
I knew this family was extremely religious but honestly I had no idea the extent. That Sunday they brought me to church with them. I came from a non-religious family but we were technically Lutheran and would attend church services from time to time. I don't remember what kind of church the family attended. The service was about 1 hour but then they also had me to go to the teens bible study with their daughter afterward. Everything that was talked about was very against what I believed and I felt extremely uncomfortable the entire time. But the thing that made me most uncomfortable was the fact that this family didn't even ask me if I was comfortable going with them. I was an older teenager and it would have been perfectly fine to just leave me home while they went. In my opinion religion is very personal and although I'm all for new experiences and experiencing different beliefs I do not feel someone should have to do it against their will. I told this family I was uncomfortable after we had come home because they were asking me what I learned in the bible study. Then guess what? They also go to church on Tuesday nights and made me go with them again. When my mom returned home I told her about it and said I didn't want to stay with them again.

I thought about this because I have my own children now and can't imagine forcing one of their friends to attend a religious service with us.

thoughts? Do you think its ok to force someone to attend a religious function?

Your mom foisted you off for some unknown reason, she got free child care and you got a safe place to stay, food, etc, and you are whining about an hour of church and a youth group meeting? That’s your childhood trauma? Lucky you. Only a kind family would take you in while your mom was out doing whatever and you still think it’s some kind of horrible experience? Because you had to listen to opinions you didn’t agree with? Did you get molested? Did anyone beat you or starve you? No? Then get over it. You are not a very nice person to be so ungrateful. Why didn’t your mom take you with her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most educated Catholics would not think PP was going to hell since a grave sin requires full knowledge and deliberate consent. A child from another religious tradition obviously wouldn't have the necessary "full knowledge" here.

I have to assume PP's parents were smart enough to know this since the denominations are so similar, so it was really unfortunate that they did not properly explain this and instead taught her to make jokes about what her neighbors consider sacred. No wonder she got called out on it at her dinner and again here.

I agree with all of this. The initial error is not on PP. her parents laughing about it continuously and teaching her it is funny is a different matter. It would be like laughing that without knowing about dietary laws, you served an observant Jew or Muslim food cooked in lard. Laughing about it later is really insensitive and suggests that you think the person’s beliefs and feelings are trivial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lately I have been thinking about a situation that happened when I was around 14-15 years old. My mom had to go out of town for some reason or another and since she was a single parent she found a family from my soccer team that was willing to have me stay with them from Sunday-Wednesday. I remember every single detail of this time because it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life.
I knew this family was extremely religious but honestly I had no idea the extent. That Sunday they brought me to church with them. I came from a non-religious family but we were technically Lutheran and would attend church services from time to time. I don't remember what kind of church the family attended. The service was about 1 hour but then they also had me to go to the teens bible study with their daughter afterward. Everything that was talked about was very against what I believed and I felt extremely uncomfortable the entire time. But the thing that made me most uncomfortable was the fact that this family didn't even ask me if I was comfortable going with them. I was an older teenager and it would have been perfectly fine to just leave me home while they went. In my opinion religion is very personal and although I'm all for new experiences and experiencing different beliefs I do not feel someone should have to do it against their will. I told this family I was uncomfortable after we had come home because they were asking me what I learned in the bible study. Then guess what? They also go to church on Tuesday nights and made me go with them again. When my mom returned home I told her about it and said I didn't want to stay with them again.

I thought about this because I have my own children now and can't imagine forcing one of their friends to attend a religious service with us.

thoughts? Do you think its ok to force someone to attend a religious function?

Your mom foisted you off for some unknown reason, she got free child care and you got a safe place to stay, food, etc, and you are whining about an hour of church and a youth group meeting? That’s your childhood trauma? Lucky you. Only a kind family would take you in while your mom was out doing whatever and you still think it’s some kind of horrible experience? Because you had to listen to opinions you didn’t agree with? Did you get molested? Did anyone beat you or starve you? No? Then get over it. You are not a very nice person to be so ungrateful. Why didn’t your mom take you with her?

Yes, it could have worse - much worse, but it's still wrong to try to indoctrinate a house guest into a religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At a party at my house, my militant atheist BIL announced out of nowhere that he wanted everybody to say whether they were religious or not. He loves to drag religion into conversations like that. Anyway, I had to cringe for the one Black woman at the party, who is a devout Catholic, because he humiliated her.

Sounds like your brother-in-law was just as wrong as Christians who assume you share their beliefs and if you say that you don't, they chastise you, or try to convert you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At a party at my house, my militant atheist BIL announced out of nowhere that he wanted everybody to say whether they were religious or not. He loves to drag religion into conversations like that. Anyway, I had to cringe for the one Black woman at the party, who is a devout Catholic, because he humiliated her.

Since you know this about your BIL, you could not invite him to such gatherings, or ask him in advance not to bring up religion or cut off such discussions and defend people whom he tries to humiliate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lately I have been thinking about a situation that happened when I was around 14-15 years old. My mom had to go out of town for some reason or another and since she was a single parent she found a family from my soccer team that was willing to have me stay with them from Sunday-Wednesday. I remember every single detail of this time because it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life.
I knew this family was extremely religious but honestly I had no idea the extent. That Sunday they brought me to church with them. I came from a non-religious family but we were technically Lutheran and would attend church services from time to time. I don't remember what kind of church the family attended. The service was about 1 hour but then they also had me to go to the teens bible study with their daughter afterward. Everything that was talked about was very against what I believed and I felt extremely uncomfortable the entire time. But the thing that made me most uncomfortable was the fact that this family didn't even ask me if I was comfortable going with them. I was an older teenager and it would have been perfectly fine to just leave me home while they went. In my opinion religion is very personal and although I'm all for new experiences and experiencing different beliefs I do not feel someone should have to do it against their will. I told this family I was uncomfortable after we had come home because they were asking me what I learned in the bible study. Then guess what? They also go to church on Tuesday nights and made me go with them again. When my mom returned home I told her about it and said I didn't want to stay with them again.

I thought about this because I have my own children now and can't imagine forcing one of their friends to attend a religious service with us.

thoughts? Do you think its ok to force someone to attend a religious function?

Your mom foisted you off for some unknown reason, she got free child care and you got a safe place to stay, food, etc, and you are whining about an hour of church and a youth group meeting? That’s your childhood trauma? Lucky you. Only a kind family would take you in while your mom was out doing whatever and you still think it’s some kind of horrible experience? Because you had to listen to opinions you didn’t agree with? Did you get molested? Did anyone beat you or starve you? No? Then get over it. You are not a very nice person to be so ungrateful. Why didn’t your mom take you with her?

Yes, it could have worse - much worse, but it's still wrong to try to indoctrinate a house guest into a religion.

How was op “indoctrinated?” Also her mom- op was 15 and didn’t even KNOW WHERE HER MOM WAS- was probably being a not great mom. At age 15 you should know where your parents are. No mention of going to dad’s house while mom was somewhere. The kind family who took op in were the heroes of this story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lately I have been thinking about a situation that happened when I was around 14-15 years old. My mom had to go out of town for some reason or another and since she was a single parent she found a family from my soccer team that was willing to have me stay with them from Sunday-Wednesday. I remember every single detail of this time because it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life.
I knew this family was extremely religious but honestly I had no idea the extent. That Sunday they brought me to church with them. I came from a non-religious family but we were technically Lutheran and would attend church services from time to time. I don't remember what kind of church the family attended. The service was about 1 hour but then they also had me to go to the teens bible study with their daughter afterward. Everything that was talked about was very against what I believed and I felt extremely uncomfortable the entire time. But the thing that made me most uncomfortable was the fact that this family didn't even ask me if I was comfortable going with them. I was an older teenager and it would have been perfectly fine to just leave me home while they went. In my opinion religion is very personal and although I'm all for new experiences and experiencing different beliefs I do not feel someone should have to do it against their will. I told this family I was uncomfortable after we had come home because they were asking me what I learned in the bible study. Then guess what? They also go to church on Tuesday nights and made me go with them again. When my mom returned home I told her about it and said I didn't want to stay with them again.

I thought about this because I have my own children now and can't imagine forcing one of their friends to attend a religious service with us.

thoughts? Do you think its ok to force someone to attend a religious function?

Your mom foisted you off for some unknown reason, she got free child care and you got a safe place to stay, food, etc, and you are whining about an hour of church and a youth group meeting? That’s your childhood trauma? Lucky you. Only a kind family would take you in while your mom was out doing whatever and you still think it’s some kind of horrible experience? Because you had to listen to opinions you didn’t agree with? Did you get molested? Did anyone beat you or starve you? No? Then get over it. You are not a very nice person to be so ungrateful. Why didn’t your mom take you with her?

Yes, it could have worse - much worse, but it's still wrong to try to indoctrinate a house guest into a religion.

How was op “indoctrinated?” Also her mom- op was 15 and didn’t even KNOW WHERE HER MOM WAS- was probably being a not great mom. At age 15 you should know where your parents are. No mention of going to dad’s house while mom was somewhere. The kind family who took op in were the heroes of this story.

I agree with this. PP wasn’t indoctrinated—she was merely exposed to views she didn’t agree with. Whining about having to listen to other POVs, when these people are doing you and your mom a favor, is not a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a party at my house, my militant atheist BIL announced out of nowhere that he wanted everybody to say whether they were religious or not. He loves to drag religion into conversations like that. Anyway, I had to cringe for the one Black woman at the party, who is a devout Catholic, because he humiliated her.

Sounds like your brother-in-law was just as wrong as Christians who assume you share their beliefs and if you say that you don't, they chastise you, or try to convert you.

Wow, way to try turning this around into someone else. Grow up and accept that your fellow atheists can be jerks, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a party at my house, my militant atheist BIL announced out of nowhere that he wanted everybody to say whether they were religious or not. He loves to drag religion into conversations like that. Anyway, I had to cringe for the one Black woman at the party, who is a devout Catholic, because he humiliated her.

Since you know this about your BIL, you could not invite him to such gatherings, or ask him in advance not to bring up religion or cut off such discussions and defend people whom he tries to humiliate.

No, this isn’t pp’s fault. Atheist BIL is a jerk. What’s wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a party at my house, my militant atheist BIL announced out of nowhere that he wanted everybody to say whether they were religious or not. He loves to drag religion into conversations like that. Anyway, I had to cringe for the one Black woman at the party, who is a devout Catholic, because he humiliated her.

Since you know this about your BIL, you could not invite him to such gatherings, or ask him in advance not to bring up religion or cut off such discussions and defend people whom he tries to humiliate.

Sister and BIL live 5 hours away, so when they show up, it’s together and I can’t really banish him to a bedroom. But yes, I will talk with him before meeting more of my friends. Problem is, he’s from a country where they think winding people up is fun, so not sure I can have any impact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lately I have been thinking about a situation that happened when I was around 14-15 years old. My mom had to go out of town for some reason or another and since she was a single parent she found a family from my soccer team that was willing to have me stay with them from Sunday-Wednesday. I remember every single detail of this time because it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life.
I knew this family was extremely religious but honestly I had no idea the extent. That Sunday they brought me to church with them. I came from a non-religious family but we were technically Lutheran and would attend church services from time to time. I don't remember what kind of church the family attended. The service was about 1 hour but then they also had me to go to the teens bible study with their daughter afterward. Everything that was talked about was very against what I believed and I felt extremely uncomfortable the entire time. But the thing that made me most uncomfortable was the fact that this family didn't even ask me if I was comfortable going with them. I was an older teenager and it would have been perfectly fine to just leave me home while they went. In my opinion religion is very personal and although I'm all for new experiences and experiencing different beliefs I do not feel someone should have to do it against their will. I told this family I was uncomfortable after we had come home because they were asking me what I learned in the bible study. Then guess what? They also go to church on Tuesday nights and made me go with them again. When my mom returned home I told her about it and said I didn't want to stay with them again.

I thought about this because I have my own children now and can't imagine forcing one of their friends to attend a religious service with us.

thoughts? Do you think its ok to force someone to attend a religious function?

Your mom foisted you off for some unknown reason, she got free child care and you got a safe place to stay, food, etc, and you are whining about an hour of church and a youth group meeting? That’s your childhood trauma? Lucky you. Only a kind family would take you in while your mom was out doing whatever and you still think it’s some kind of horrible experience? Because you had to listen to opinions you didn’t agree with? Did you get molested? Did anyone beat you or starve you? No? Then get over it. You are not a very nice person to be so ungrateful. Why didn’t your mom take you with her?

Yes, it could have worse - much worse, but it's still wrong to try to indoctrinate a house guest into a religion.

How was op “indoctrinated?” Also her mom- op was 15 and didn’t even KNOW WHERE HER MOM WAS- was probably being a not great mom. At age 15 you should know where your parents are. No mention of going to dad’s house while mom was somewhere. The kind family who took op in were the heroes of this story.

I agree with this. PP wasn’t indoctrinated—she was merely exposed to views she didn’t agree with. Whining about having to listen to other POVs, when these people are doing you and your mom a favor, is not a good look.

It blows my mind that op is not thinking: my dad was not available to take care of me, my mom was off somewhere, she foisted me off on a family, and now decades later the kindness of the family is not what I remember, it’s being exposed to something I don’t personally agree with.

Op grow up. It’s long past time to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Which part of "why did her mother send her over there for three days in the first place" is such an alien language to such militant anti-religious people?

This is hysterical.

Having someone's kid in your house does not give you the right to force your religion on them, period. A mom should be able to trust a family friend to watch her kid for a few days without having to explicitly say, "Don't try to force your religion on my kid, please. These are basic rules of polite society, like keeping a roll of toilet paper in the bathroom, or washing your hands before a meal, or remembering to do your laundry.

If you are a Christian family who is doing a favor by hosting a non-Christian kid, and if the kid looks like he's able to be at home alone for 2 hours a day (like the PP, a teenager, was clearly capable of) then give him a cheery good morning on Sunday, show him where the cereal is, tell him not to open the door for strangers, and whisk your Christian family off to church. Your guest can stay at home.

Because that is a basic expectation of polite, secular society. You're welcome.

Lol what a weirdo.

[Anonymous]

I son'r know, OP. If you're christian and you stay with a christian family and they make you do the same things their daughter did, then you suck it up. This isn't nearly as bad as I thought your post would be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I son'r know, OP. If you're christian and you stay with a christian family and they make you do the same things their daughter did, then you suck it up. This isn't nearly as bad as I thought your post would be.

She should be mad at her mom and dad for not taking care of her in an appropriate manner and not blame the people who took her in. Maybe they didn’t want to leave a 14/15 year old home alone in their home? Maybe their family had rules about that kind of stuff and op should not have decades of mental trauma because she had to follow the rules the people who responsibly cared for her had in their household. Let’s face it; her mom dumped her off with anyone who could take her and she should be glad it was a decent family. She even says the only people her mom could find to agree to take her was this family; other families were asked to do so and declined. Yet the family who did so are the jerks?