Politically Incorrect Private School Thread What Do You Really Think?

[Anonymous]

That's sad. I hope you enjoy being responsible and miserable. In my opinion happiness includes healthy, great relationships with people, the ability to take care of yourself and others, the skills to be successful in order to afford the lifestyle that makes you happy, but success for the sake of success, big name university for the sake of saying you went there, is pathetic. Happy I am happy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are about to end a long run at one of the Big 3 as our youngest graduates this spring. Over 10 years of paying two tuitions for our DCs and we have concluded that it was just not worth it in terms of dollars and collateral damage to the family experience of raising children/enjoying the formative years. Before there is a sour grapes allegation, understand that both of our DCs did well in school and in athletics and have gone/will go to top tier SLACs/Ivies. It is the empty feeling at the end of the day that a great sum was spent and lots of together time was lost in pursuit of some ineffable token of accomplishment/attainment. Perhaps the passage of time will reveal the intrinsic value of the Big 3 diploma and the hopefully valuable contacts that come from the friends made. Really hope that happens. Private school major plusses: small classes, higher achieving group of students (generally) and sports teams where there is a good chance to play. Private school major negatives: extremely competitive social and academic culture that is exacerbated by a large percentage of helicopter parents, overexposure to uber-wealthy families and corresponding lack of exposure to many working class families. I am sure that many private school families believe the teaching is better, but I can't say that was our experience.

Where was your public option - because all of your negatives fully describe the same situation we would have whether we are at our private vs our local Bethesda public....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband turned to me in the car the other day and said that if we took the kids out of private school that we could live in a house that was $1M bigger/nicer. That really gave me pause. Yes we are choosing private, but is it really so wrong to prefer to go public and then have all that money to--gasp!--live in a nicer house, take nicer vacations, eat out all the time, etc? It made me feel like a fool for spending so much money just on school!

Nothing wrong with that if that's what you want to do. It's your choice. Some will judge you for it, others judge you for doing private now. You can't win - so do what works for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband turned to me in the car the other day and said that if we took the kids out of private school that we could live in a house that was $1M bigger/nicer. That really gave me pause. Yes we are choosing private, but is it really so wrong to prefer to go public and then have all that money to--gasp!--live in a nicer house, take nicer vacations, eat out all the time, etc? It made me feel like a fool for spending so much money just on school!

Nothing wrong with that if that's what you want to do. It's your choice. Some will judge you for it, others judge you for doing private now. You can't win - so do what works for your family.

Actually, doing what works for you family IS winning.

Why does what anyone else think matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the people who live in million dollar homes, drive luxury clothes, and drive luxury cars yet still send their kids to public school. There, I said it.

Lol, this is us. HHI tends to vary between 750k to a little over a million. DH was strongly in favor of public because he believes our children would benefit from NOT being raised to think they are the center of the universe and that they are more likely to learn the value of perseverance in public. I had no strong thoughts on the matter. In fact, I find threads like this amusing because people get so worked up about it. We both went to public schools and turned out fine.

Lol.. The idea that your kids don't think they are the center of the universe. Where do they go Watkins Mill?

It's not Watkins Mill but it is a W school. Point is, we try to minimize the idea that they should be catered to or that they will be entitled to this type of lifestyle as adults. They'll have to work for it if they want it. They're not in ms yet but I've been happy with their experience so far.

[Anonymous]

"Sure. But is the private school education that the PP's kids are getting $1 million better than the education the PP's kids would get in public school? (Or, more accurately, the extra mortgage payment on a house worth $1 million more). That's the question. "

This, actually, is why I decided to go to college at William and Mary instead of Dartmouth. I got in to both, had scholarships that would only apply if I went to W&M. Ultimately it was a difference of my W&M bill being $12k for four years ($3k/yr thanks to the scholarships) vs. a total bill of $100k+ at Dartmouth (I forget exactly what it was, but near $25k/yr). Although Dartmouth might've been a better education, and given me more connections, and was an Ivy, I couldn't justify the cost differential since W&M was also a great school. D might've been better, but not THAT much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it funny that so many public school parents who claim that public school is so much better than private, spend so much tine trolling and posting to the Private/Independent School forum. Hop on over to the public school one!

Oh, don't worry, I read that one too. But this one is more entertaining.

+100

+101. This forum is like the Daily Mail and Buzzfeed all rolled into one. The schadenfreude, the insecurity, the snobbery....

Yep, this public school parent thinks the Private forum is the best entertainment DCUM has to offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not entirely about the "level of education" your kid receives, it's about their entire upbringing, their happiness, confidence, joy of learning, being on a team, making lifelong friendships, being happy, stable, secure...do what's right for your child whatever that is. Lifelong happiness is the end goal. It takes a lot to be happy, but give them the foundation.

I don't believe in happiness as a goal. I believe in hard work, a sense of responsibility, and investment in relationships and people.

Investment in relationships and people? How do you measure the rate of return?

touche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are about to end a long run at one of the Big 3 as our youngest graduates this spring. Over 10 years of paying two tuitions for our DCs and we have concluded that it was just not worth it in terms of dollars and collateral damage to the family experience of raising children/enjoying the formative years. Before there is a sour grapes allegation, understand that both of our DCs did well in school and in athletics and have gone/will go to top tier SLACs/Ivies. It is the empty feeling at the end of the day that a great sum was spent and lots of together time was lost in pursuit of some ineffable token of accomplishment/attainment. Perhaps the passage of time will reveal the intrinsic value of the Big 3 diploma and the hopefully valuable contacts that come from the friends made. Really hope that happens. Private school major plusses: small classes, higher achieving group of students (generally) and sports teams where there is a good chance to play. Private school major negatives: extremely competitive social and academic culture that is exacerbated by a large percentage of helicopter parents, overexposure to uber-wealthy families and corresponding lack of exposure to many working class families. I am sure that many private school families believe the teaching is better, but I can't say that was our experience.

Our DC will graduate this year from a great school that is not a Big X While I agree there are more wealthy families and too few working class families at our school as well (although that's economic reality of privates) , that is not the feel of the school at all. It is a down to earth place. There are many children of teachers that also adds to a middle class feel. I don't have any of the regrets of the above poster about losing years in an internally competitive/high pressure social /high achieving student environment. I feel our DC got a great education, made wonderful friends, enjoyed great relationships with teachers, and worked very hard, but also loved attending a school with a supportive, family like environment. I know this is anathema on DCUM, but to avoid feeling like the poster above, the best thing that could happen to schools like Sidwell, GDS, St. Albans/NCS, etc. would be to merge with schools like Burke, Field, etc. and open themselves up to a wider range of students. By definition, you won't turn out as many NMSF's each year on a percentage basis, but those capable of doing that will still succeed just as well and having an environment with a more normal distribution of students (and families) is a net positive, not negative, in more ways than not for all of the kids. Just MHO.

[Anonymous]

2:52 We could never look at Sidwell as it is beyond our budget. We wouldn't be a good FA case either too as we have too much home equity, retirement etc... However, my DD who is at a parochial middle school is looking at catholic schools that offer opportunities for most like Good Counsel. They have special programs for top performing students as well as those with minor learning disabilities. My point is that although Sidwell is unaffordable for our family, there are other programs that can cater to our family. If we couldn't afford schools like GC, our kids would either be in magnet or AP classes in high school.

[Anonymous]

I hate it when people who have a ton of money think their kids earned a spot at a top school. Schools love the gravy train. If you have enough money, your kids can get in anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate it when people who have a ton of money think their kids earned a spot at a top school. Schools love the gravy train. If you have enough money, your kids can get in anywhere.

This is simply not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate it when people who have a ton of money think their kids earned a spot at a top school. Schools love the gravy train. If you have enough money, your kids can get in anywhere.

This is simply not true.

Um, yeah it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate it when people who have a ton of money think their kids earned a spot at a top school. Schools love the gravy train. If you have enough money, your kids can get in anywhere.

This is simply not true.

Um, yeah it is.

of course it's true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate it when people who have a ton of money think their kids earned a spot at a top school. Schools love the gravy train. If you have enough money, your kids can get in anywhere.

This is simply not true.

Um, yeah it is.

of course it's true.

The reality is there are more families with high income in this area than pretty much anywhere else in the country. There are more than there are spots at the top schools so the logic doesn't hold. And I know a very nice, unbelievably wealthy family who did not get an acceptance to two schools I thought their dc would have, as talented nice kid, as well.