Honestly: is 41 too old to have a baby?

[Anonymous]

Depends on your energy level. I'm 35 with 2 and I wouldn't want to have one in my 40s. Just make sure you know what you are signing up for and don't be offended if people ask if you are grandma.

When I was a teacher, I had teenagers whose parents were my age. (I had toddlers at the time.)

You also need to think about your age from the child's perspective. You will be about 62/63 when he/she is about 20. Providing he/she has kids later in life, you won't necessarily get to be a grandma. Just something to think about. My MIL only enjoyed her grandchild for a couple of years before she passed. My DH was her last child and he married late in life and became a Dad at 33.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Ever occur to you that your mom was deeply depressed and unhappy because she had her kids so late in life and at that time cut off from her friends and relatives whose kids were grown and out of the nest. Do you think she wanted to be at an Elementary school PTA meeting when she was 50 and your dad 55?
Ever think your dear dad might have worked himself to death supporting you? Still with kids in high school at 65? Still paying for college in his late 60s? Sounds restful to me. No wonder he finally rested at age 73. Sounds like he just barely got you through college, assuming you did go to college. He had 5 years not supporting you! Dear old Dad and depressed old Mom!
No, age doesn't make a difference when all you think about is yourself.


Cannot believe you would hatefully psychoanalyze a family you have never met, anonymously over the internet, and speculate on the mental state of people who have died. Thireflects on your own damaged mental state, and not any other person or when they had their babies or anything else. Nutjob.

The previous poster does have a point with regards to the mom's mental health. It could be post partum depression. And though the post is very negative, it does give food for thought. I think older parents need to consider all these pros and cons before making their decision. Not everyone is the same, but they shouldn't expect roses because life isn't like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on your energy level. I'm 35 with 2 and I wouldn't want to have one in my 40s. Just make sure you know what you are signing up for and don't be offended if people ask if you are grandma.

When I was a teacher, I had teenagers whose parents were my age. (I had toddlers at the time.)

You also need to think about your age from the child's perspective. You will be about 62/63 when he/she is about 20. Providing he/she has kids later in life, you won't necessarily get to be a grandma. Just something to think about. My MIL only enjoyed her grandchild for a couple of years before she passed. My DH was her last child and he married late in life and became a Dad at 33.

I am 48 yo HS teacher with a 10 and 6 yo.

I have lots of energy.

I noticed you wrote that you WERE a teacher. Uh - so who's the one without the energy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is way too old. You have a greater risk of having a Down Syndrome's baby. My dad was 42 when we were born. It was gross having an older dad than everyone else. Too, it is selfish. You won't be around for your grandkids. Why not adopt a child who needs parents and is already here?

Un really? Wouldn't it have been worse to never have been born? Or to have no dad?

[Anonymous]

I have no idea why people ask this question. It totally depends on the person and the energy level, health, finances, how much family support, there is for each individual. And for people who who say it is awful to have "older" parents, what about all the people who are raised by grandparents and turn out perfectly well? Happens all the time. Sometimes it is just about the love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had my first and only at 22 but I am now thinking about having my second at 41 .. I've always thought having a baby in your 40's was not a wise decision .. (to put it mildly) but now I find myself thinking about it and I NEVER wanted any more children .. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I am now with someone that Im really in love with and that can change EVERYTHING .. Im really just pondering the idea
for right now but I need to hurry up and make a decision because Im not getting any younger! Everyone says I look 28 or 29 and I have Alot of energy and Im in pretty good shape but the fact remains Im STILL 41 so I have Alot to think about ...

You go girl! just wait until you are redoing all that school and you are 59. Fun times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is way too old. You have a greater risk of having a Down Syndrome's baby. My dad was 42 when we were born. It was gross having an older dad than everyone else. Too, it is selfish. You won't be around for your grandkids. Why not adopt a child who needs parents and is already here?

The dumbest post ever

no - THIS is the dumbest post ever:

This seems to be the thread that never dies. If you get pregnant at 41 and the baby born at 42, it really, really helps to have excellent health. I think it works better if you are either rich or poor. If you are poor, you can always put the kid to work helping around the house and keeping you company as you age. Not so great for the kid, but oh well. If you are rich, someone else can do the heavy lifting. For a middle class person, saving for college and retirement at the same time can be difficult. Right now for someone in their 40s, college is looking like $1M, and retirement like $2M. That is a lot of saving.

funny!

The LOL funniest part about his is how true it is! There is always community college and a trailer park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Ever occur to you that your mom was deeply depressed and unhappy because she had her kids so late in life and at that time cut off from her friends and relatives whose kids were grown and out of the nest. Do you think she wanted to be at an Elementary school PTA meeting when she was 50 and your dad 55?
Ever think your dear dad might have worked himself to death supporting you? Still with kids in high school at 65? Still paying for college in his late 60s? Sounds restful to me. No wonder he finally rested at age 73. Sounds like he just barely got you through college, assuming you did go to college. He had 5 years not supporting you! Dear old Dad and depressed old Mom!
No, age doesn't make a difference when all you think about is yourself.

Cannot believe you would hatefully psychoanalyze a family you have never met, anonymously over the internet, and speculate on the mental state of people who have died. Thireflects on your own damaged mental state, and not any other person or when they had their babies or anything else. Nutjob.

The previous poster does have a point with regards to the mom's mental health. It could be post partum depression. And though the post is very negative, it does give food for thought. I think older parents need to consider all these pros and cons before making their decision. Not everyone is the same, but they shouldn't expect roses because life isn't like that.

Let's rewrite this in a positive way: Dear old Dad, God rest him, went to work every day for 45 years supporting his large family of 7 kids until, sadly he stroked out and died. but at least everyone had a college education.
As for mom, bless her heart, after she got the first one through college, she had a love affair with the bottle, and turned the parenting over to the younger ones. She, it and TV had a grand old relationship, particularly after dear old dad passed.
But she had three kids in her 40s -- go Big Mama!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Baby at 41 means you are 60 when child graduates HS.

In DC all the moms in Pre-K are early 40's, every single last one. If you have a baby in your twenties in Washington its like WHAT were YOU thinking ?? What no masters degree , no law partnership….what a loser.

Inside the beltway teh average 60 year old looks like a 35 year old in Iowa, maybe better. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would be for me. I'd also be way too nervous about all the possible birth defects.

That's why we have amnio

[Anonymous]

It also means your grandma at 80...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby at 41 means you are 60 when child graduates HS.

In DC all the moms in Pre-K are early 40's, every single last one. If you have a baby in your twenties in Washington its like WHAT were YOU thinking ?? What no masters degree , no law partnership….what a loser.

Inside the beltway teh average 60 year old looks like a 35 year old in Iowa, maybe better. LOL

Hardly. But they all tell themselves that and seem to actually believe that other people think they are younger than they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby at 41 means you are 60 when child graduates HS.

In DC all the moms in Pre-K are early 40's, every single last one. If you have a baby in your twenties in Washington its like WHAT were YOU thinking ?? What no masters degree , no law partnership….what a loser.

Inside the beltway teh average 60 year old looks like a 35 year old in Iowa, maybe better. LOL

Hardly. But they all tell themselves that and seem to actually believe that other people think they are younger than they are.

I'm 48 with a 10 and 6 yo - girl and boy. I hit the jackpot with both sexes and both kids were one-shot deals. I know of many women much younger than I who are having major issues getting pregnant.

Do I look my age? sure
I keep my hair short, and I don't color it. But I exercise regularly, eat well, and weight what I did in college.

Do I regret my decision to "wait?" no - as both my husband and I can provide for our kids better than most young couples can

I work FT and at this moment, I'm caring for my very young-at-heart mother who is recuperating from surgery. Until her surgery, she helped out regularly with childcare. My daughter, who's at the age where she's aware of many more of life's challenges, is learning from this experience. We don't throw away our elderly folks. And while my husband and I have invested in long-term care so that we're not a burden to our children, my daughter - who's very familiar with nursing homes at her young age - says she'll never put me in one b/c it's "just too sad."

That may change, of course, and I'll respect any decision she needs to make when my husband and I can no longer care for ourselves properly. But at least we own the fact that these transitions cannot be stopped - that instead, they must be faced.

An older parent doesn't mean you're a failure. on the contrary - My kids are smart, well-rounded, and compassionate.

And as an older mother who's NOT insecure, I'm not buying into all that youth crap. The rest of you will be catching up soon enough, and by the attitudes I see in many posts, methinks YOU'LL be having some major issues fighting the gray and the wrinkles! So go find yourself some Botox and throw a party, ladies!

I say to myself - Bring on the gray and the wrinkles! Life's too short to be insecure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It also means your grandma at 80...

. . . what about YOUR grandma at 80?

Poor grammar can ruin a post.

[Anonymous]

You could die whenever. Thats what we do as humans. If you have a baby in your late teens or 20s there is no guarantee you'll live to see them grown. If you have them in your 40s, same thing. When and if you have children is a personal decision.