Yes. Your Kid is overscheduled.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:so I struggle with this - I have a young son and I am trying to expose him to various sports to try to find out what he likes. He seems to like them all. I just found out that 2 of the sports have games at the exact same time so I will probably pull him out of one to not miss games. It feels stressful because he is not exposed to the sport I pull him ot of - he is 7. I guess there is plenty of time to try it.

Same. It feels like there actually is such a small window to try some sports. We are outside of DC but to get on the decent baseball teams around here you have to start trying out at age 7... by 10 it would be impossible to make a team unless you had been consistently practicing. I get that some people are fine with very casual rec sports only but, at least here, there is then zero chance you will make a high school team.

My boys are athletic and play a lot of sports. I have one who played rec basketball and played neighborhood basketball but didn’t do any extra training. Now he is in middle school and it is too late to get on one of these competitive basketball teams. We just started skills training and there is a huge difference between the boys like my son and the ones who have been going to these shooting and skills training for years. Those baseball kids OP may be complaining about are probably doing extra pitching clinic in addition to their travel baseball team.

There was a thread a few months ago about a mom who regretted not pushing her kid harder. I guess her kid didn’t make the high school teams because she didn’t do the extra for her kid. My kid might be too late for basketball by starting this training in middle school. We hope if he works hard enough that he can make the high school team. I wish we knew about this sooner.

It's hard to play catch up in any skilled sport. Hockey is the same. By age 12, the kids who started skating and playing hockey at 4 years old and have done lessons and clinics and played on competitive teams are so far ahead that they will never be caught. Most governing bodies like USA Hockey have the concept of "Windows of Trainability" - refers to the point in the development of a specific capacity when training has an optimal effect.

I know a kid whose kid started skating at 2. We met them in preschool and I thought they were joking when they said their son had ice hockey practice. The kid must have been 3 or 4 back then. The kid is now on a national team.

We know another kid who loved ice hockey and their parents were always driving this kid to practices and tournaments. I remember thinking it was too much and that it wasn’t like this kid was going to play professional ice hockey. I mean their entire lives revolved around this kid’s hockey. He recently went to an elite boarding school to play ice hockey.

So…do the kids enjoy hockey? If they do, what’s the issue?

Hockey is very expensive and time consuming. Not all parents are up for that even if they can do it. And that's ok, kids can pick something else. This is why I didn't even present hockey as an option with my kids

Tennis, golf, hockey all are expensive.

Travel soccer, basketball, baseball also isn’t cheap. The difference is that sports like hockey and tennis require facilities that you can’t just use for free.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:so I struggle with this - I have a young son and I am trying to expose him to various sports to try to find out what he likes. He seems to like them all. I just found out that 2 of the sports have games at the exact same time so I will probably pull him out of one to not miss games. It feels stressful because he is not exposed to the sport I pull him ot of - he is 7. I guess there is plenty of time to try it.

Same. It feels like there actually is such a small window to try some sports. We are outside of DC but to get on the decent baseball teams around here you have to start trying out at age 7... by 10 it would be impossible to make a team unless you had been consistently practicing. I get that some people are fine with very casual rec sports only but, at least here, there is then zero chance you will make a high school team.

My boys are athletic and play a lot of sports. I have one who played rec basketball and played neighborhood basketball but didn’t do any extra training. Now he is in middle school and it is too late to get on one of these competitive basketball teams. We just started skills training and there is a huge difference between the boys like my son and the ones who have been going to these shooting and skills training for years. Those baseball kids OP may be complaining about are probably doing extra pitching clinic in addition to their travel baseball team.

There was a thread a few months ago about a mom who regretted not pushing her kid harder. I guess her kid didn’t make the high school teams because she didn’t do the extra for her kid. My kid might be too late for basketball by starting this training in middle school. We hope if he works hard enough that he can make the high school team. I wish we knew about this sooner.

It's hard to play catch up in any skilled sport. Hockey is the same. By age 12, the kids who started skating and playing hockey at 4 years old and have done lessons and clinics and played on competitive teams are so far ahead that they will never be caught. Most governing bodies like USA Hockey have the concept of "Windows of Trainability" - refers to the point in the development of a specific capacity when training has an optimal effect.

I know a kid whose kid started skating at 2. We met them in preschool and I thought they were joking when they said their son had ice hockey practice. The kid must have been 3 or 4 back then. The kid is now on a national team.

We know another kid who loved ice hockey and their parents were always driving this kid to practices and tournaments. I remember thinking it was too much and that it wasn’t like this kid was going to play professional ice hockey. I mean their entire lives revolved around this kid’s hockey. He recently went to an elite boarding school to play ice hockey.

So…do the kids enjoy hockey? If they do, what’s the issue?

Hockey is very expensive and time consuming. Not all parents are up for that even if they can do it. And that's ok, kids can pick something else. This is why I didn't even present hockey as an option with my kids

Tennis, golf, hockey all are expensive.

Travel soccer, basketball, baseball also isn’t cheap. The difference is that sports like hockey and tennis require facilities that you can’t just use for free.

I realize that, all I'm saying is that it's ok fir parents to set limits on activities whether they can swing them or not.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.

Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page

Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.

How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9

These online games make me nervous. So far my kids haven't asked and don't have an interest. Not sure how I'd handle if they did.

Now imagine your kid is in middle school enjoying free time at the playground with other kids whose phones have full access to discord or snap or Roblox. Now your permission is not needed because it’s not your phone.

MS is too old for playgrounds.

No they're not, unless it's a little kiddie one for like toddlers or something

Yes it is. 13 year olds aren't hanging out at the local playground. You live in some kind of fantasyland.

No, I don't live in a fantasy world. I know what my friends and I did. Also I think it's funny that a 13 year is somehow too old for kid stuff, but it's totally fine for them to have free access to the internet and social media. Them adults will complain that they're acting too old and growing up to fast.

[Anonymous]

Last weekend I flew to and from my child’s sport, I normally drive 7-8 hrs each weekend.

Daylight savings made my flight feel like 5 am instead of 6am.

My friend asked me to do something Monday evening… I said I couldn’t I was exhausted and since I’m gone every weekend I needed to grocery shop.

I’m not complaining. I am exhausted but I love it .

Being tired is not a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

Why are Americans so obsessed with kids sports? I am just baffled. All these parents worried that if they don't start X sport at 5, then their kid won't have a chance of making their HS team. Really, who cares? What am I missing. Team sports are a giant pain in the ass. There are so many other activities kids could be doing that are easier to schedule. I get that it's great to be on a team and it has positive benefits etc but that applies to a rec team, or any other activity that has been sacrificed to do the team sport (an instrument, individual sport, more focus on academics, more sleep, less stress).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last weekend I flew to and from my child’s sport, I normally drive 7-8 hrs each weekend.

Daylight savings made my flight feel like 5 am instead of 6am.

My friend asked me to do something Monday evening… I said I couldn’t I was exhausted and since I’m gone every weekend I needed to grocery shop.

I’m not complaining. I am exhausted but I love it .

Being tired is not a bad thing.

I have a friend who often comments about others’ business in a negative way. She will say that her husband values family time on weekends. Her kids have unlimited screen time and do one activity each. That is fine but you don’t have to put others down for doing more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are Americans so obsessed with kids sports? I am just baffled. All these parents worried that if they don't start X sport at 5, then their kid won't have a chance of making their HS team. Really, who cares? What am I missing. Team sports are a giant pain in the ass. There are so many other activities kids could be doing that are easier to schedule. I get that it's great to be on a team and it has positive benefits etc but that applies to a rec team, or any other activity that has been sacrificed to do the team sport (an instrument, individual sport, more focus on academics, more sleep, less stress).

If you've never committed to a sport you wouldn't understand. The comraderie on a rec team where none of the kids actually care is nothing like being on a team where you are putting in blood, swear and tears. It's not for everyone but what's not to 'get' that it is a great experience for a lot of kids? Plenty of kids are able to be on competitive teams and also focus on academics. Time management is best learned in middle and high school.

[Anonymous]

Please stop saying kids on rec teams don’t care. Maybe a few 1st graders on a soccer team who are trying something new. But a bunch of fifth graders on a rec softball team? These kids definitely all care. You don’t need to be on a fancy, competitive team to benefit greatly from sports and be around kids who care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are Americans so obsessed with kids sports? I am just baffled. All these parents worried that if they don't start X sport at 5, then their kid won't have a chance of making their HS team. Really, who cares? What am I missing. Team sports are a giant pain in the ass. There are so many other activities kids could be doing that are easier to schedule. I get that it's great to be on a team and it has positive benefits etc but that applies to a rec team, or any other activity that has been sacrificed to do the team sport (an instrument, individual sport, more focus on academics, more sleep, less stress).

If you've never committed to a sport you wouldn't understand. The comraderie on a rec team where none of the kids actually care is nothing like being on a team where you are putting in blood, swear and tears. It's not for everyone but what's not to 'get' that it is a great experience for a lot of kids? Plenty of kids are able to be on competitive teams and also focus on academics. Time management is best learned in middle and high school.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.

Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page

Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.

How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9

These online games make me nervous. So far my kids haven't asked and don't have an interest. Not sure how I'd handle if they did.

Now imagine your kid is in middle school enjoying free time at the playground with other kids whose phones have full access to discord or snap or Roblox. Now your permission is not needed because it’s not your phone.

MS is too old for playgrounds.

No they're not, unless it's a little kiddie one for like toddlers or something

Yes it is. 13 year olds aren't hanging out at the local playground. You live in some kind of fantasyland.

No, I don't live in a fantasy world. I know what my friends and I did. Also I think it's funny that a 13 year is somehow too old for kid stuff, but it's totally fine for them to have free access to the internet and social media. Them adults will complain that they're acting too old and growing up to fast.

Are you and your friends in MS today? What you did in the 20th century is totally irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please stop saying kids on rec teams don’t care. Maybe a few 1st graders on a soccer team who are trying something new. But a bunch of fifth graders on a rec softball team? These kids definitely all care. You don’t need to be on a fancy, competitive team to benefit greatly from sports and be around kids who care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are Americans so obsessed with kids sports? I am just baffled. All these parents worried that if they don't start X sport at 5, then their kid won't have a chance of making their HS team. Really, who cares? What am I missing. Team sports are a giant pain in the ass. There are so many other activities kids could be doing that are easier to schedule. I get that it's great to be on a team and it has positive benefits etc but that applies to a rec team, or any other activity that has been sacrificed to do the team sport (an instrument, individual sport, more focus on academics, more sleep, less stress).

If you've never committed to a sport you wouldn't understand. The comraderie on a rec team where none of the kids actually care is nothing like being on a team where you are putting in blood, swear and tears. It's not for everyone but what's not to 'get' that it is a great experience for a lot of kids? Plenty of kids are able to be on competitive teams and also focus on academics. Time management is best learned in middle and high school.

You and I most likely have different ideas of what it looks like to seriously care about a sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are Americans so obsessed with kids sports? I am just baffled. All these parents worried that if they don't start X sport at 5, then their kid won't have a chance of making their HS team. Really, who cares? What am I missing. Team sports are a giant pain in the ass. There are so many other activities kids could be doing that are easier to schedule. I get that it's great to be on a team and it has positive benefits etc but that applies to a rec team, or any other activity that has been sacrificed to do the team sport (an instrument, individual sport, more focus on academics, more sleep, less stress).

It's fine if you don't care, really. You don't have to do what everyone else does.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.

Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page

Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.

How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9

These online games make me nervous. So far my kids haven't asked and don't have an interest. Not sure how I'd handle if they did.

Now imagine your kid is in middle school enjoying free time at the playground with other kids whose phones have full access to discord or snap or Roblox. Now your permission is not needed because it’s not your phone.

MS is too old for playgrounds.

No they're not, unless it's a little kiddie one for like toddlers or something

Yes it is. 13 year olds aren't hanging out at the local playground. You live in some kind of fantasyland.

No, I don't live in a fantasy world. I know what my friends and I did. Also I think it's funny that a 13 year is somehow too old for kid stuff, but it's totally fine for them to have free access to the internet and social media. Them adults will complain that they're acting too old and growing up to fast.

You may give your kids free access to internet and social media, but many of us don't. Mine didn't have social media till 14 and it's heavily monitored. And, most 13 year olds don't want to hang out at the playground and only do it as they aren't welcome in their home or they are really bored. That is for elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please stop saying kids on rec teams don’t care. Maybe a few 1st graders on a soccer team who are trying something new. But a bunch of fifth graders on a rec softball team? These kids definitely all care. You don’t need to be on a fancy, competitive team to benefit greatly from sports and be around kids who care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are Americans so obsessed with kids sports? I am just baffled. All these parents worried that if they don't start X sport at 5, then their kid won't have a chance of making their HS team. Really, who cares? What am I missing. Team sports are a giant pain in the ass. There are so many other activities kids could be doing that are easier to schedule. I get that it's great to be on a team and it has positive benefits etc but that applies to a rec team, or any other activity that has been sacrificed to do the team sport (an instrument, individual sport, more focus on academics, more sleep, less stress).

If you've never committed to a sport you wouldn't understand. The comraderie on a rec team where none of the kids actually care is nothing like being on a team where you are putting in blood, swear and tears. It's not for everyone but what's not to 'get' that it is a great experience for a lot of kids? Plenty of kids are able to be on competitive teams and also focus on academics. Time management is best learned in middle and high school.

You and I most likely have different ideas of what it looks like to seriously care about a sport.

I care that my kids enjoy it and get exercise. Not everything needs to be about competition or college. My kids have other talents and we nurture all of them as much as we can. Some sports are a life long skill. There is more to it than being the best.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?

No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.

Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.

Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.

Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page

Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.

How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9

These online games make me nervous. So far my kids haven't asked and don't have an interest. Not sure how I'd handle if they did.

Now imagine your kid is in middle school enjoying free time at the playground with other kids whose phones have full access to discord or snap or Roblox. Now your permission is not needed because it’s not your phone.

MS is too old for playgrounds.

No they're not, unless it's a little kiddie one for like toddlers or something

Yes it is. 13 year olds aren't hanging out at the local playground. You live in some kind of fantasyland.

No, I don't live in a fantasy world. I know what my friends and I did. Also I think it's funny that a 13 year is somehow too old for kid stuff, but it's totally fine for them to have free access to the internet and social media. Them adults will complain that they're acting too old and growing up to fast.

You may give your kids free access to internet and social media, but many of us don't. Mine didn't have social media till 14 and it's heavily monitored. And, most 13 year olds don't want to hang out at the playground and only do it as they aren't welcome in their home or they are really bored. That is for elementary school.

I don't give free internet access at all. I guess 13 year are far different than I was

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are Americans so obsessed with kids sports? I am just baffled. All these parents worried that if they don't start X sport at 5, then their kid won't have a chance of making their HS team. Really, who cares? What am I missing. Team sports are a giant pain in the ass. There are so many other activities kids could be doing that are easier to schedule. I get that it's great to be on a team and it has positive benefits etc but that applies to a rec team, or any other activity that has been sacrificed to do the team sport (an instrument, individual sport, more focus on academics, more sleep, less stress).

Because ppl are obsessed with being busy. And they have this crazy idea that kids are less than or will be couch potatoes or trouble makers without sports. I agree with you, it's crazy.