Why is redshirting so rare if it's so advantageous?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:First Rule of Good Parenting: don't skew things to your kid's advantage

Why is giving your kid an advantage not good parenting?

Sets a bad moral example, sets them up for unreasonable expectations, insulates them from coping with challenges or learning value/necessity of hard work, can undermine self-confidence when they eventually realize their parents thought they needed an advantage, etc. etc. etc.

Dream on, won’t happen and you are either not a parent or lying through your teeth.

It happens every day, all of the time, with the kids who are redshirting who are otherwise healthy and have normal brain functions.

If you hire tutors, feed your kids healthy foods and read to them isn’t that also cheating in your world?

It's a parent's job to keep their child safe and healthy to the best of their ability. It is NOT a parent's job to boost their child's ego or try to make them more popular.

[Anonymous]

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Forced to group? Oh the humanity! Go with the group you are supposed to be with. Isn’t that the entire point of the anti redshirters? I have a late summer birthday kid and he has friends in both grades. He has never complained about this grave injustice. Maybe your kid needs help with social skills.

I think you are being willfully obtuse.

If different activities have different cut offs, then some kids will be grouped with one cohort for one activity (school for example) and a different group for a different activitiy (Swimming or hockey for example)

So going with "the one you are supposed to be with" puts some people in a position of having different groups, or not being able to participate with their friends.

You are being willfully difficult. Your snowflakes doesn’t always get what they want. Camps and teams often split kids up anyway. Teach your kids to be flexible and resilient. Thought they were too smart and mature to even contemplate redshirting. You sure abut that?

It's one thing if a class is split in half between teams or camp groups. But for August or September birthdays, it's often only one kid who is left out. Surely you remember being a kid and how much that would suck, right? Now remember that the kid who is being excluded is the youngest for the grade and often struggles to keep up socially even without extra hurdles.

But sure, keep saying mean things and calling my kid names. That obviously makes the situation better.

--not pro or anti redshirting, but has a kid who wasn't redshirted but who sometimes wishes she'd redshirted her kid

I see you are as sensitive as your kid. You want to call people obtuse and then cry about name calling? Camp is not a life necessity. Your kid would benefit by expanding their social group.

Work on your reading comprehension. The obtuse comment was from a different poster aimed at me.

Who said camp was a life necessity? I certainly didn't. I said that age cutoffs should be aligned, otherwise you encourage redshirting. It ends up being a sucky situation for end of summer or September kids who go on time. It's like activities and camps already assume that everyone redshirts.

And eyeroll to the posters who say that the solution is to lie about your kids age. I rely on camp for childcare. If my 7 let it slip that she wasn't 8, as required, I don't want a call that she's kicked out. Not worth it.

Maybe there is a legit reason campers need to be 8. Someone upthread says 8 yr olds shouldn’t compete with 7 yr olds. Either age matters or it doesn’t. Why do you want your kid at a camp they aren’t old enough for?

Haha, listen - I occasionally lied about my kids age to get her into camps with her friends (camps for which she missed the cutoff by three weeks, incidentally). Age cutoffs are necessarily arbitrary- they have to be. A kid three weeks older than my kid isn’t necessarily more or less ready for anything once we’re out of the infant stage. I know what my kid can handle better than the teenagers who run the camp.

Why lie? Most will work with you. We've had some things that we've had an issue with the age and a few situations, we've contacted them and they've been more than happy to take my child - sports, camps, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First Rule of Good Parenting: don't skew things to your kid's advantage

Why is giving your kid an advantage not good parenting?

Having your 8 year old think they are so smart because they are competing against 6-7 year olds is not great parenting.

+1

I've never understood why an 8-year-old 2nd grader reading at a 3rd grade level is more impressive than an 8-year-old 3rd grader reading at a 3rd grade level.

And I don't think there are many kids who are 8 in second grade....

I was just speaking hypothetically.

Actually a child reading only one grade level ahead, regardless is pretty normal as many kids especially in this area read several grade levels ahead. I would be very concerned about a learning disability if the child was older and on grade level or struggling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First Rule of Good Parenting: don't skew things to your kid's advantage

Why is giving your kid an advantage not good parenting?

Sets a bad moral example, sets them up for unreasonable expectations, insulates them from coping with challenges or learning value/necessity of hard work, can undermine self-confidence when they eventually realize their parents thought they needed an advantage, etc. etc. etc.

Dream on, won’t happen and you are either not a parent or lying through your teeth.

It happens every day, all of the time, with the kids who are redshirting who are otherwise healthy and have normal brain functions.

If you hire tutors, feed your kids healthy foods and read to them isn’t that also cheating in your world?

It's a parent's job to keep their child safe and healthy to the best of their ability. It is NOT a parent's job to boost their child's ego or try to make them more popular.

The better you do in school, the better a college you'll go to, and the better a college you go to, the better a job you'll have, and the better a job you have, the healthier a lifestyle you'll be able to afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Forced to group? Oh the humanity! Go with the group you are supposed to be with. Isn’t that the entire point of the anti redshirters? I have a late summer birthday kid and he has friends in both grades. He has never complained about this grave injustice. Maybe your kid needs help with social skills.

I think you are being willfully obtuse.

If different activities have different cut offs, then some kids will be grouped with one cohort for one activity (school for example) and a different group for a different activitiy (Swimming or hockey for example)

So going with "the one you are supposed to be with" puts some people in a position of having different groups, or not being able to participate with their friends.

You are being willfully difficult. Your snowflakes doesn’t always get what they want. Camps and teams often split kids up anyway. Teach your kids to be flexible and resilient. Thought they were too smart and mature to even contemplate redshirting. You sure abut that?

It's one thing if a class is split in half between teams or camp groups. But for August or September birthdays, it's often only one kid who is left out. Surely you remember being a kid and how much that would suck, right? Now remember that the kid who is being excluded is the youngest for the grade and often struggles to keep up socially even without extra hurdles.

But sure, keep saying mean things and calling my kid names. That obviously makes the situation better.

--not pro or anti redshirting, but has a kid who wasn't redshirted but who sometimes wishes she'd redshirted her kid

I see you are as sensitive as your kid. You want to call people obtuse and then cry about name calling? Camp is not a life necessity. Your kid would benefit by expanding their social group.

Work on your reading comprehension. The obtuse comment was from a different poster aimed at me.

Who said camp was a life necessity? I certainly didn't. I said that age cutoffs should be aligned, otherwise you encourage redshirting. It ends up being a sucky situation for end of summer or September kids who go on time. It's like activities and camps already assume that everyone redshirts.

And eyeroll to the posters who say that the solution is to lie about your kids age. I rely on camp for childcare. If my 7 let it slip that she wasn't 8, as required, I don't want a call that she's kicked out. Not worth it.

Maybe there is a legit reason campers need to be 8. Someone upthread says 8 yr olds shouldn’t compete with 7 yr olds. Either age matters or it doesn’t. Why do you want your kid at a camp they aren’t old enough for?

Haha, listen - I occasionally lied about my kids age to get her into camps with her friends (camps for which she missed the cutoff by three weeks, incidentally). Age cutoffs are necessarily arbitrary- they have to be. A kid three weeks older than my kid isn’t necessarily more or less ready for anything once we’re out of the infant stage. I know what my kid can handle better than the teenagers who run the camp.

Ok, so if that's the case, don't some parents know their kids well enough to decide that they should wait a year for kindergarten? I would think they know better than some biddies on DCUM who seem obsessed with the literal age of kids and black/white thinking.

PP and absolutely! I don’t give a damn when parents send their kids to school (but then again I don’t view school as a competitive sport), I was simply trying to give a friendly and well-meaning PSA that is ot super easy to work around the (arbitrary) age cut-offs for REC camps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First Rule of Good Parenting: don't skew things to your kid's advantage

Why is giving your kid an advantage not good parenting?

Sets a bad moral example, sets them up for unreasonable expectations, insulates them from coping with challenges or learning value/necessity of hard work, can undermine self-confidence when they eventually realize their parents thought they needed an advantage, etc. etc. etc.

Dream on, won’t happen and you are either not a parent or lying through your teeth.

It happens every day, all of the time, with the kids who are redshirting who are otherwise healthy and have normal brain functions.

If you hire tutors, feed your kids healthy foods and read to them isn’t that also cheating in your world?

It's a parent's job to keep their child safe and healthy to the best of their ability. It is NOT a parent's job to boost their child's ego or try to make them more popular.

The better you do in school, the better a college you'll go to, and the better a college you go to, the better a job you'll have, and the better a job you have, the healthier a lifestyle you'll be able to afford.

You might find a correlation between poverty and unhealthy lifestyles, but you won't find much correlation between wealth and a healthy lifestyle. It's based more on habits you learn at an early age (and a baseline ability to afford, doesn't require wealth).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First Rule of Good Parenting: don't skew things to your kid's advantage

Why is giving your kid an advantage not good parenting?

Sets a bad moral example, sets them up for unreasonable expectations, insulates them from coping with challenges or learning value/necessity of hard work, can undermine self-confidence when they eventually realize their parents thought they needed an advantage, etc. etc. etc.

Dream on, won’t happen and you are either not a parent or lying through your teeth.

It happens every day, all of the time, with the kids who are redshirting who are otherwise healthy and have normal brain functions.

If you hire tutors, feed your kids healthy foods and read to them isn’t that also cheating in your world?

It's a parent's job to keep their child safe and healthy to the best of their ability. It is NOT a parent's job to boost their child's ego or try to make them more popular.

The better you do in school, the better a college you'll go to, and the better a college you go to, the better a job you'll have, and the better a job you have, the healthier a lifestyle you'll be able to afford.

You might find a correlation between poverty and unhealthy lifestyles, but you won't find much correlation between wealth and a healthy lifestyle. It's based more on habits you learn at an early age (and a baseline ability to afford, doesn't require wealth).

But you can't argue against the fact that there's a positive correlation between wealth and longevity.

[Anonymous]

I am always entertained by DCUM anti redshirt posters, but "wah my daughter can't get into the private summer camp group I want wah" PP is a new and delightful entrant to that shrieking group of little weirdos. (Didn't redshirt myself.)

[Anonymous]

Again - redshirting has nothing to do with K-5. It matters when kids hit puberty. Talk to your middle school counselors as they see the effects of redshirting at that stage. When will your kid hit their growth spurts effects almost everything they do from age 12 to 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again - redshirting has nothing to do with K-5. It matters when kids hit puberty. Talk to your middle school counselors as they see the effects of redshirting at that stage. When will your kid hit their growth spurts effects almost everything they do from age 12 to 18.

Again, being a few weeks older than the oldest "on time" kid won't have much of an effect on this. Kids hit puberty at all different times. Of course if a kid is months older than the oldest "on time" kid - this may come into play. But I think that is the rare case and not the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again - redshirting has nothing to do with K-5. It matters when kids hit puberty. Talk to your middle school counselors as they see the effects of redshirting at that stage. When will your kid hit their growth spurts effects almost everything they do from age 12 to 18.

This is not something middle school counselors are worried about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again - redshirting has nothing to do with K-5. It matters when kids hit puberty. Talk to your middle school counselors as they see the effects of redshirting at that stage. When will your kid hit their growth spurts effects almost everything they do from age 12 to 18.

This is not something middle school counselors are worried about.

This is all they are worried about. As every middle school action on the part of the kids is related to this. Now, whether girls are mean to each other in 6th grade versus 7th grade is something they still have to deal with, but the big thing is getting kids through middle school in one piece so they can effectively transition into high school. Back in the day this was a bit simpler because high school started in 10th grade. With 9th graders in high school buildings it is more of an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again - redshirting has nothing to do with K-5. It matters when kids hit puberty.

That makes no sense. The older two people get, the LESS their age difference matters. The difference between a 5-year-old and a 6-year-old is equivalent to the difference between a 10-year-old and a 12-year-old, which is obviously bigger than the difference between an 11-year-old and a 12-year-old. I understand that a year still makes a huge difference in junior high and high school, but just not as big of a difference as in elementary school. The longer you live, the smaller a fraction a year is of your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again - redshirting has nothing to do with K-5. It matters when kids hit puberty. Talk to your middle school counselors as they see the effects of redshirting at that stage. When will your kid hit their growth spurts effects almost everything they do from age 12 to 18.

I’ve been a middle school teacher for 15 years. Puberty hits at different times. My reaction to a tall/mature 7th grader has never been “must have been redshirted.” It’s usually just “wow, that kid is tall” or “wow, that kid is mature for a 7th grade boy.” I do sometimes check out birthdays if a kid seems really immature and they are often on the younger side, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again - redshirting has nothing to do with K-5. It matters when kids hit puberty. Talk to your middle school counselors as they see the effects of redshirting at that stage. When will your kid hit their growth spurts effects almost everything they do from age 12 to 18.

Of course it does. I bet anything the most frequently repeated grade is kindergarten and it's most frequently repeated by kids who are young for their grade and determined not to be ready for 1st grade. Redshirting is making that call before sending your kid to K.