Seeking opinions on an incident involving another family member disciplining my child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people must have really crappy furniture, like the velour sectionals with floppy arm covers. Or those burgundy and forest green plaid ones from the 90s. Jump away little precious snowflake, mama and papa can just go to goodwill and pick up another Jennifer's convertible sofa.

Ayup. And the rest of you must have embarrassingly expensive pristine couches that cause you to have multiple little heart attacks a day, each time anybody goes anywhere near it.

You must be one of the people responsible for warning labels only an imbecile would actually need. You let your kid jump on my couch, I'll let my dog crap in your rug. You can always get a new one ass.

Wow, you're disgusting and have an inability to make accurate comparisons, unless you do actually allow your dog to crap in your house. So dumb.

I'm also completely baffled by those of you who think standing on a couch is so very dangerous. Are you all balanced challenged? Please, explain to me how you manage your life amongst stairs, step stools, and oh my goodness playground equipment. Don't you see how ironic your statement is, about the warning labels? If you're calling people imbeciles, what do you call people like yourself who think your own children are too fragile and incompetent that they can't possibly stand on something 24 inches off the ground?

And please spare me the drama, I've said it already, I let my son play on MY couch. Not yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surprised at some of the responses here. Do your 4 year olds really not climb on the furniture? What sort of robot children are you raising?

OP here. I was just thinking something along those lines based on some of the responses I just read.

And the behaviors of some of the kids at the birthday party that followed a few hours later far surpassed my daughter's offense.

Also, the fact that he screamed (i mean, really screamed, very loud and angrily right at my DH) just really leaves me speechless.

I guess I don't understand what you want. Your kid did something wrong. Another adult corrected her. It escalated because both sets of adults got emotional. If this was that upsetting, watch your kid more closely.

OP here. You are incorrect about both sets of adults getting emotional. My DH and I did NOT get emotional (at least not outwardly).

Sure you did. You ran out of the room with her. That would scare my kid. Uncle is so bad that mommy had to swoop in and rescue!

Ding ding ding ding!!!!!!!!! Give that person a prize. And THAT is probably why he yelled at your DH right after, because you escalated it, which made him more angry, and he escalated, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people must have really crappy furniture, like the velour sectionals with floppy arm covers. Or those burgundy and forest green plaid ones from the 90s. Jump away little precious snowflake, mama and papa can just go to goodwill and pick up another Jennifer's convertible sofa.

Really good furniture is not going to break from a 35 lb 4 yo, maybe you have crappy cheap furniture and it's all you can afford and the idea of having to buy new stuff is emotionally traumatizing... though you sound like you have never had to work for anything in your life.

And then you sit them down when they get bigger and say, "OK, Thor, it's time you stop standing on the arm of the chair because you are no longer 35 lbs." Doubt it. You're the type to let your 10 year old stand on it because, you know, boys will be boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people must have really crappy furniture, like the velour sectionals with floppy arm covers. Or those burgundy and forest green plaid ones from the 90s. Jump away little precious snowflake, mama and papa can just go to goodwill and pick up another Jennifer's convertible sofa.

Ayup. And the rest of you must have embarrassingly expensive pristine couches that cause you to have multiple little heart attacks a day, each time anybody goes anywhere near it.

You must be one of the people responsible for warning labels only an imbecile would actually need. You let your kid jump on my couch, I'll let my dog crap in your rug. You can always get a new one ass.

Wow, you're disgusting and have an inability to make accurate comparisons, unless you do actually allow your dog to crap in your house. So dumb.

I'm also completely baffled by those of you who think standing on a couch is so very dangerous. Are you all balanced challenged? Please, explain to me how you manage your life amongst stairs, step stools, and oh my goodness playground equipment. Don't you see how ironic your statement is, about the warning labels? If you're calling people imbeciles, what do you call people like yourself who think your own children are too fragile and incompetent that they can't possibly stand on something 24 inches off the ground?

And please spare me the drama, I've said it already, I let my son play on MY couch. Not yours.

^Parent Of The Year.

You're a single mom, too, right? I'll bet you make all kinds of excuses for doing stupid shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surprised at some of the responses here. Do your 4 year olds really not climb on the furniture? What sort of robot children are you raising?

OP here. I was just thinking something along those lines based on some of the responses I just read.

And the behaviors of some of the kids at the birthday party that followed a few hours later far surpassed my daughter's offense.

Also, the fact that he screamed (i mean, really screamed, very loud and angrily right at my DH) just really leaves me speechless.

I guess I don't understand what you want. Your kid did something wrong. Another adult corrected her. It escalated because both sets of adults got emotional. If this was that upsetting, watch your kid more closely.

OP here. You are incorrect about both sets of adults getting emotional. My DH and I did NOT get emotional (at least not outwardly).

Sure you did. You ran out of the room with her. That would scare my kid. Uncle is so bad that mommy had to swoop in and rescue!

Ding ding ding ding!!!!!!!!! Give that person a prize. And THAT is probably why he yelled at your DH right after, because you escalated it, which made him more angry, and he escalated, etc.

Uncle yelled because OP lied and left out what she said to Uncle right.before, which was "Don't you tell MY child she can't jump on the couch!" OP is a liar who is looking to cause trouble between her sister and bil and paint her bil as evil and abusive. Remember OP said he apologized, they enjoyed the party, and left on good terms. Or, maybe OP's husband is angry at her for not looking after the kid and starting a fight.

OP, what did your husband say about all this? Is he OK with your continuing efforts to cause trouble?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what BIL did initially was fine. Then you escalated. Then they escalated. Why did you cry?!

OP here. I did not cry. My kids did. What did I do to escalate?

Not PP but you grabbed her and ran out of the room. That would scare my kid.

You should have backed up your SIL and let the differences in your child-rearing go in that moment. You were a guest in her home. She did not deserve to be made to feel that she did something wrong.

+1
OP overreacted and she herself scared her child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people must have really crappy furniture, like the velour sectionals with floppy arm covers. Or those burgundy and forest green plaid ones from the 90s. Jump away little precious snowflake, mama and papa can just go to goodwill and pick up another Jennifer's convertible sofa.

Agree. My daughter is 4 and I'm having a hard time understanding why OP's kid is such a brat. She never climbs on furniture. We have nice stuff and she's learned to respect it. I think when she was about 2 we trained her, including telling her 1) she can get hurt and 2) we don't want to break our nice things. This is similar to how I don't get people whose kids destroy furniture. Um, it's simple. No food and no climbing.

Then again now I know where little assholes come from. One visit to my house with a kid like that and the OP would be blacklisted.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds overly emotional and hovering and probably thinks her children are super special snowflakes.

BIL sounds like an angry control freak. If she were my sister I would fear for her safety and wellbeing.

P.S.A for those posters who are saying some screaming and yelling at kids is fine b/c they are use to it. No it's not fine and causes real damage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm also completely baffled by those of you who think standing on a couch is so very dangerous. Are you all balanced challenged? Please, explain to me how you manage your life amongst stairs, step stools, and oh my goodness playground equipment. Don't you see how ironic your statement is, about the warning labels? If you're calling people imbeciles, what do you call people like yourself who think your own children are too fragile and incompetent that they can't possibly stand on something 24 inches off the ground?

And please spare me the drama, I've said it already, I let my son play on MY couch. Not yours.

Nonsense. Do you really think the sister/BIL's sofa sits in an open space on a bed of bark mulch? Chances are it's next to a lamp and a table, maybe under a window. How well do you think your so-competent child would do if she fell through a window?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm also completely baffled by those of you who think standing on a couch is so very dangerous. Are you all balanced challenged? Please, explain to me how you manage your life amongst stairs, step stools, and oh my goodness playground equipment. Don't you see how ironic your statement is, about the warning labels? If you're calling people imbeciles, what do you call people like yourself who think your own children are too fragile and incompetent that they can't possibly stand on something 24 inches off the ground?

And please spare me the drama, I've said it already, I let my son play on MY couch. Not yours.

Nonsense. Do you really think the sister/BIL's sofa sits in an open space on a bed of bark mulch? Chances are it's next to a lamp and a table, maybe under a window. How well do you think your so-competent child would do if she fell through a window?

And when your kid falls off the playground equipment, he will magically float to the soft ground without bumping his head or other body parts on any other part of the playground equipment.

And if he fell through a window, my son would backflip with a twist right out that window, and stick the landing. Then he'd wave to the neighbors with both hands, as he walked away.

This argument is ridiculous. My son stands on our couch all the time. He's never come anywhere near falling through a window. There's a lamp behind the couch, and one end table near by. I believe one hundred percent that the couch is no more dangerous than the stairs, or the step stool he uses to help in the kitchen, or the playground. Our couch has withstood his weight quite well. You won't change my mind.

[Anonymous]

Wow, this is like "The Slap."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm also completely baffled by those of you who think standing on a couch is so very dangerous. Are you all balanced challenged? Please, explain to me how you manage your life amongst stairs, step stools, and oh my goodness playground equipment. Don't you see how ironic your statement is, about the warning labels? If you're calling people imbeciles, what do you call people like yourself who think your own children are too fragile and incompetent that they can't possibly stand on something 24 inches off the ground?

And please spare me the drama, I've said it already, I let my son play on MY couch. Not yours.

Nonsense. Do you really think the sister/BIL's sofa sits in an open space on a bed of bark mulch? Chances are it's next to a lamp and a table, maybe under a window. How well do you think your so-competent child would do if she fell through a window?

And when your kid falls off the playground equipment, he will magically float to the soft ground without bumping his head or other body parts on any other part of the playground equipment.

And if he fell through a window, my son would backflip with a twist right out that window, and stick the landing. Then he'd wave to the neighbors with both hands, as he walked away.

This argument is ridiculous. My son stands on our couch all the time. He's never come anywhere near falling through a window. There's a lamp behind the couch, and one end table near by. I believe one hundred percent that the couch is no more dangerous than the stairs, or the step stool he uses to help in the kitchen, or the playground. Our couch has withstood his weight quite well. You won't change my mind.

"100%" certainty; "you won't change my mind". These comments are indicative of someone who is dangerously stubborn in the face of contrary evidence and ignorant of how to properly evaluate risk.

People like this PP don't understand probability. They keep taking foolish chances because "nothing bad happened yet so that means it must be safe." This is despite the fact that they are using furniture contrary to its purpose and design and responsible for a child's safety. Also failure to understand that there is no point in taking an unnecessary risk due to being a lazy parent. It's just pure rationalization the same way drunks say "I only had a coupl so it's safe to drive."

PP, you use the step ladder not because it is perfectly safe, but because it is the safest practical way of doing a necessary task. There is no reason at all for a small child to be jumping around on a couch arm except lazy parenting. Therefore it is not a rational risk to willingly expose your child to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds overly emotional and hovering and probably thinks her children are super special snowflakes.

BIL sounds like an angry control freak. If she were my sister I would fear for her safety and wellbeing.

P.S.A for those posters who are saying some screaming and yelling at kids is fine b/c they are use to it. No it's not fine and causes real damage.

OP said her sister is controlling, caters birthday parties for their young children, and probably shuts her husband out. He's probably on edge because of all that.

And no, yelling "No no" at a child does not cause real damage. Cursing at your children is not the same as yelling at them for standing on the furniture.

[Anonymous]

I'd have given my child space too and if I had other stuff going on in my life I might just leave too b/c who needs extra drama. But I might cut the BIL some slack if he's the type to get stressed out over hosting responsiblities. Some of the nicest people get really stressed out by hosting a party, and he also was hosting you all as overnight visitors. For some people that can stress them out and then they might overreact. I don't know your BIL, and I likely would have been looking to put some distance between us too, but maybe I wouldn't hold onto the bad feelings. I'd maybe let the emotions go and remember for next time that this guy has a real thing against rambunctious play indoors, or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, this is like "The Slap."

Lol +1