DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Okay, this got to STOP! Are we still making fun of each other?
Everytime I see a new post or a post I wonder if it is for real.... AM I the only one?

[Anonymous]

yes, I think you are the only one that wants it to stop! As for me, please, I beg of all you fine funny women, dont stop the farce thread, or else I'll have to go back to actually watching my children....come on, cant we play just a little bit longer, please moms, please?
pretty please?

[Anonymous]

I love this thread- but i have to say that whoever post something that remotely touches SOMEONE as silly or dumb etc.- they can run here and make fun- this risk making real questions/posters (although not new questions to DCUM veterans or moms posting here) avoid posting.. it's ;like being in the school newspaper- jsteele- this may impact things where people hesitate to post either "simple" things or whatever- just my opinion of course..

[Anonymous]

PP here- mr steele- ie. i have a baby with deep diaper rash issues- it';s odd for us since DC1 only had one issue- but DC2 is having a really bad day crying- constant poo (though diet has been stable) - we are upping cream etc.- I thought about posting here but - i am so sure this is such a basic question or situation and my chances of being flamed or on this thread are so high that i'd rather just call my pediatrician if this goes on tomorrow i know he won't flame me or mock me in a thread..

[Anonymous]

I am the OP & am so happy (& quite surprised) that this thread has really taken off. I Love reading every post (even the ones I am embarrassed to admit that I don't get) but, if people are concerned...


Maybe a seperate forum is needed just for this farce?

Pesky reality is always getting in the way of a good farce, huh? I only wish I had seperate forum for a wish-it-were-a-farce-but-unfortunately-isn't of everything in my life...

work farce forum (threads like, "Did you really just ask me to do that, boss?" or "you're not really gossipping about someone else, "Gladys," when everyone knows you're the office F*ck-up" or "you're wearing that?" or "I can't believe how long the least innovative & least hardworking people really have worked in govt & gotten promoted numerous times" thread)

kids farce forum (threads like, "I hate you, I love you, teenage angst I want no part of" or "You're crying hysterically & I think I'm supposed to care, but I really just wonder where my life has gone" or " I love you so incredibly much & I can't believe that such a perfect soul came out of my body OR maybe it's just PMS" thread)

Embarrassing farce forum (threads like "Just pooped my pants, had breastmilk leak, and puked simultaneously--never knew THAT was possible" or "embarrassing poop on the table birth stories" or "my child pulled THAT out of the trashcan when guests arrived" or "I never wanted THAT PERSON in the room when I gave birth & now I can never look at him again" threads)


So I digress, sorry.

[Anonymous]

OP here again, sorry for the typos in last message...Apparently too late to be typing such drivel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You girls have totally drifted from the ONLY important topic at DCUM.

Giving birth to a baby the natural way (with a Doula massaging your cl#$) is the only way to go if you want your child to get into the right schools.

The birth experience was a TRANSFORMATIVE one for me and I pity all of you who were unable to properly LOVE your child due to your selfish decision to make an alternative choice.

Those of you who claim you almost died in the OR were weak (or you'd never have been in the OP in the first place) and therefore, shouldn't be trusted to raise children at all.

Except, perhaps, in Rockville.

Now is the part of the email where I usually provide TMI about my birth experience, but I think I posted that yesterday.

This is a man who posted this. No self-respecting woman would call other women girls!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow - I'm so excited as this is my very first post on a message board of any sort! You see - I live WAAAAYYY out in the suburbs - a tiny town called Rockville and we just got the internet! I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself!!!

And I am hearing rumors that CABLE television and INDOOR PLUMBING will also be coming to Rockville! Yahoo - it's like we're not living in some backwoods place anymore!

Wait a second...oh, s&*%. This isn't my house. D&^*. I went into the wrong house again. It's so hard finding your house when they all look alike. Better go back to my car and drive around my cul-de-sac and hope I can find which house is mine.

Hate when I do that - and I was having such a good day for finally getting the internet, too

This is GREAT! I live in Rockville too! Bummer!!

[Anonymous]

I would like to hear all of your opinions on whether throwing up more than 6 times in the first trimester means I'm going to have a boy. I went to college, but I got out of my science requirement by taking rocks for jocks (so I know the diamond DH gave me on our 1st anniversary is very expensive!). If I just count how many of you say yes, I'll have a scientific answer that "What to Expect" just won't give me.

[Anonymous]

omg jsteele, this thread is soooo awful and mother-hating, you must get rid of it now! what kind of self-respecting moderator lets this kind of thing continue?? you mothers should be ashamed of yourselves!! for shame!! for shame!!

you can guarantee this is my last post! i cannot stand such a judgmental, rude group of people!

[Anonymous]

...........did anyone reply to my tirade?

[Anonymous]

..................... what about now?

[Anonymous]

My husband only talks about his male coworkers. Do you think that he could be having an affair with the pretty secretary I met, or could it mean he is gay? He has no pictures of me on the walls of his office...

[Anonymous]

My baby is crowning... do you think that means that I will deliver soon? TIA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband only talks about his male coworkers. Do you think that he could be having an affair with the pretty secretary I met, or could it mean he is gay? He has no pictures of me on the walls of his office...

he's definitely gay. leave the bastard.