Why don’t schools make you just through some hoops for redshirting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also for those saying it’s crazy to be annoyed, you likely are not impacted at all, Surely you can understand why it’s irritating to some people but not to you because it has zero impact on your child. People with kid spring birthdays who went on time or summer will notice it the most. I’m not anti red shirt but it is annoying to watch the older kids get some of the prime spots over your own kids for grade based activities. These are often my friends kids so I’m happy for them but it’s a fact my own kid is at a bit of a disadvantage when the competition is so much older.

It really is not a fair practice at all. My son is a late June birthday and really struggled more than he should have because of how many boys more than a year older than him really got all the opportunities. And this practice is not standard elsewhere. Only in this area that attracts all the nerdy wannabes and will do anything to give their kids a leg up. My son is at a very competitive university now and has many friends in his year who are even younger than him. Mostly from the Northeast and New England.

If your kid is going to be either youngest or oldest in their class, what would you pick?

DP here. I would rather my kid graduate HS and go to college when they turn 18, but that’s just my opinion. Other people feel differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also for those saying it’s crazy to be annoyed, you likely are not impacted at all, Surely you can understand why it’s irritating to some people but not to you because it has zero impact on your child. People with kid spring birthdays who went on time or summer will notice it the most. I’m not anti red shirt but it is annoying to watch the older kids get some of the prime spots over your own kids for grade based activities. These are often my friends kids so I’m happy for them but it’s a fact my own kid is at a bit of a disadvantage when the competition is so much older.

It really is not a fair practice at all. My son is a late June birthday and really struggled more than he should have because of how many boys more than a year older than him really got all the opportunities. And this practice is not standard elsewhere. Only in this area that attracts all the nerdy wannabes and will do anything to give their kids a leg up. My son is at a very competitive university now and has many friends in his year who are even younger than him. Mostly from the Northeast and New England.

If your kid is going to be either youngest or oldest in their class, what would you pick?

DP here. I would rather my kid graduate HS and go to college when they turn 18, but that’s just my opinion. Other people feel differently.

99% of redshirters leave high school at 18

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also for those saying it’s crazy to be annoyed, you likely are not impacted at all, Surely you can understand why it’s irritating to some people but not to you because it has zero impact on your child. People with kid spring birthdays who went on time or summer will notice it the most. I’m not anti red shirt but it is annoying to watch the older kids get some of the prime spots over your own kids for grade based activities. These are often my friends kids so I’m happy for them but it’s a fact my own kid is at a bit of a disadvantage when the competition is so much older.

I have a boy with a July birthday who is now in high school & was sent on time. I don’t really know what types of disadvantages you’re talking about. Do you mean sports? Academics? I haven’t noticed any problems re: red-shirted kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Easy to redshirt. Fast forward. Harder when it's a 19 year old man still in high school.

I would have been so mad at my parents for doing this to me. Imagine how it would feel to be 19 and still have to go to high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easy to redshirt. Fast forward. Harder when it's a 19 year old man still in high school.

I would have been so mad at my parents for doing this to me. Imagine how it would feel to be 19 and still have to go to high school.

Shame on you. These kids often have special needs or serious medical/developmental problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Redshirting parents are doing what they think is best for their kid. That is in fact the job of parents.

And there are rules. You have to be enrolled in kindergarten by six. People who redshirt a winter birthday are still following those rules. Adding more rules isn’t going to make it less likely that parents try to choose better for their kids, just restrict the franchise.

We have a September birthday and we’ll likely redshirt her because we know there will be kids who turn seven in her kindergarten and we think it’s unfair for her to be four. That doesn’t make it wrong for the other parents to have made the choice to hold back their five y/o.

That’s not fair to hold her back because of others poor choices.

Why? She’ll be five when she starts kindergarten and won’t be the oldest or the youngest kid in her class, since we know the boys born March-May will likely redshirt and other September kids will be as well.

She’ll spend her “extra” year in a private outdoor-focused preK. She’s not being deprived or being treated unfairly, she’s getting an experience plenty of us what would for our kids— an extra year of childhood.

She isn't getting an extra year of childhood, she's losing an extra year of being an adult. She will turn 18 regardless. And, that sounds like a bad idea at an outdoor-focused preschool vs. an academic one. We started our September kid at 4/5 and it's been good. When I ask them, they are glad we didn't hold them back. They don't remember preschool at all so the benefit was far smaller than you think. How do you think she'll feel when her true peers go off to college and she's still stuck for a year in high school. It may sound good now but when your kids get high school age, it's very different.

I guess you just have to realize that not all kids are okay to start kindergarten at age 4/5. We sent our first "on time" as a 4-turning-5 yo and she was constantly in trouble and ended up in the principal's office almost daily the entire first month of school. All of K and first she'd sob at bedtime every night about how much she hated school and how she was a bad kid and they didn't want her there. Then she'd sob again the next morning and we'd fight her to get out the door. Then she'd get in trouble again and again. Really, it wasn't "good." We made it through and she's okay now, with only occasional issues, but we're about to start middle school with her as the youngest and smallest kid in the grade and I'm holding my breath all over again.

(She attended a quality preschool program for two years before K, so she should have been prepared for K. She doesn't have special needs. She was just being a 4 yo and there is a reason that every 4 yos doesn't to kindergarten -- they just don't have the maturity to handle it yet.)

My DD is smart as can be and at the top of her class academically, so she's probably be bored a grade below (and is why we sent her on time), but she'd be a better fit in the lower grade socially, physically and emotionally. If we'd started her with the grade below, I think she would have fit right in with those peers. Having gone "on time" her experience is more akin to a kid who was skipped ahead a grade and spends much of their childhood feeling socially behind and emotionally stressed by expectations that she can't ever seem to meet.

I'll just add that I know two other families with end of August/September birthday girls who wish they'd redshirted. Their kids are seriously struggling and not ready for middle school. One is going to pay for private middle school just to hold her daughter back. The other is s continuing, but the girl is increasingly ostracized socially. So out of 4 families who chose to send our late August kids on time, as of end of 5th grade, 2.5 out of 4 wish they'd redshirted.

And, that is a small sampling as I know plenty of kids who went with those birthdays and are doing just fine. These kids would struggle regardless of grade and something more is going on and they need support, not held back. For the girl who is having social issues, maybe the school is the problem, not the grade.

You have no basis to say that the kids would struggle the same amount regardless of their grade. That pure conjecture with no basis in reality. Especially when you know the kids and know that one of their biggest issues is maturity and that they track younger in both interests and abilities.

This. The idea that the prior poster thinks she knows better for another kid than their parents— who are fully compliant with the existing rules— is why we don’t need more input from the anti-redshirt brigade.

These parents don’t know better. They go with what their friends say.

[Anonymous]

Teacher here. To OP's original question, I can't speak for the school district, but there are two reasons why they don't make it difficult. First, because there are laws and policies in place that individual schools (where you register your child) have no say in. They just follow the policies. Second, no one is likely to even try to discourage it, because it's generally advantageous to the elementary schools, where there is a belief that kids who are a smidge older (not way older, just on the older side of the class) will learn faster and have better social skills. Not sure if it's true or not, but that's the belief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also for those saying it’s crazy to be annoyed, you likely are not impacted at all, Surely you can understand why it’s irritating to some people but not to you because it has zero impact on your child. People with kid spring birthdays who went on time or summer will notice it the most. I’m not anti red shirt but it is annoying to watch the older kids get some of the prime spots over your own kids for grade based activities. These are often my friends kids so I’m happy for them but it’s a fact my own kid is at a bit of a disadvantage when the competition is so much older.

If this annoys you I have a feeling a talented kid who always got the prime spots even if they were younger would annoy you too. When you can’t attribute it to age why are you going to think your kid isn’t getting the prime spots and what are you going to do to address it?

It’s the kids that don’t have the talent. Younger kids with talent are clearly more talented than older kids in the same grade or higher grades. My kid surpasses multiple juniors and seniors and they are really nasty because of it. They are not willing to put the work in nor their parents. So, instead of learning it they bully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also for those saying it’s crazy to be annoyed, you likely are not impacted at all, Surely you can understand why it’s irritating to some people but not to you because it has zero impact on your child. People with kid spring birthdays who went on time or summer will notice it the most. I’m not anti red shirt but it is annoying to watch the older kids get some of the prime spots over your own kids for grade based activities. These are often my friends kids so I’m happy for them but it’s a fact my own kid is at a bit of a disadvantage when the competition is so much older.

It really is not a fair practice at all. My son is a late June birthday and really struggled more than he should have because of how many boys more than a year older than him really got all the opportunities. And this practice is not standard elsewhere. Only in this area that attracts all the nerdy wannabes and will do anything to give their kids a leg up. My son is at a very competitive university now and has many friends in his year who are even younger than him. Mostly from the Northeast and New England.

If your kid is going to be either youngest or oldest in their class, what would you pick?

I would pick oldest. I was a July birthday and was always the smallest and least mature kid in my class. I was bullied mercilessly until high school. I was thrilled when my son was born in February, making him at least average. He hasn't been ahead by any means, but he hasn't had any major problems either. I did notice the kids who were a bit older did better, though - it's clear that the expectations for Kindergarten have recently been developmentally aligned to match kids who are 6, and not 5. Or at least, teachers have begun to expect that, so many kids who are developmentally normal will struggle as a result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also for those saying it’s crazy to be annoyed, you likely are not impacted at all, Surely you can understand why it’s irritating to some people but not to you because it has zero impact on your child. People with kid spring birthdays who went on time or summer will notice it the most. I’m not anti red shirt but it is annoying to watch the older kids get some of the prime spots over your own kids for grade based activities. These are often my friends kids so I’m happy for them but it’s a fact my own kid is at a bit of a disadvantage when the competition is so much older.

It really is not a fair practice at all. My son is a late June birthday and really struggled more than he should have because of how many boys more than a year older than him really got all the opportunities. And this practice is not standard elsewhere. Only in this area that attracts all the nerdy wannabes and will do anything to give their kids a leg up. My son is at a very competitive university now and has many friends in his year who are even younger than him. Mostly from the Northeast and New England.

If your kid is going to be either youngest or oldest in their class, what would you pick?

DP here. I would rather my kid graduate HS and go to college when they turn 18, but that’s just my opinion. Other people feel differently.

So you would redshirt a September birthday. Otherwise they graduate highschool and go to college at 17.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also for those saying it’s crazy to be annoyed, you likely are not impacted at all, Surely you can understand why it’s irritating to some people but not to you because it has zero impact on your child. People with kid spring birthdays who went on time or summer will notice it the most. I’m not anti red shirt but it is annoying to watch the older kids get some of the prime spots over your own kids for grade based activities. These are often my friends kids so I’m happy for them but it’s a fact my own kid is at a bit of a disadvantage when the competition is so much older.

I have a boy with a July birthday who is now in high school & was sent on time. I don’t really know what types of disadvantages you’re talking about. Do you mean sports? Academics? I haven’t noticed any problems re: red-shirted kids.

It depends on the culture at your school and area. You probably live in an area where is not much of a thing. My son is May and there’s 5 other May birthdays in his grade and they are all redshirts. He’s the only one who went on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also for those saying it’s crazy to be annoyed, you likely are not impacted at all, Surely you can understand why it’s irritating to some people but not to you because it has zero impact on your child. People with kid spring birthdays who went on time or summer will notice it the most. I’m not anti red shirt but it is annoying to watch the older kids get some of the prime spots over your own kids for grade based activities. These are often my friends kids so I’m happy for them but it’s a fact my own kid is at a bit of a disadvantage when the competition is so much older.

It really is not a fair practice at all. My son is a late June birthday and really struggled more than he should have because of how many boys more than a year older than him really got all the opportunities. And this practice is not standard elsewhere. Only in this area that attracts all the nerdy wannabes and will do anything to give their kids a leg up. My son is at a very competitive university now and has many friends in his year who are even younger than him. Mostly from the Northeast and New England.

If your kid is going to be either youngest or oldest in their class, what would you pick?

DP here. I would rather my kid graduate HS and go to college when they turn 18, but that’s just my opinion. Other people feel differently.

So you would redshirt a September birthday. Otherwise they graduate highschool and go to college at 17.

As well as August birthdays as nearly all colleges start sometime in August.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also for those saying it’s crazy to be annoyed, you likely are not impacted at all, Surely you can understand why it’s irritating to some people but not to you because it has zero impact on your child. People with kid spring birthdays who went on time or summer will notice it the most. I’m not anti red shirt but it is annoying to watch the older kids get some of the prime spots over your own kids for grade based activities. These are often my friends kids so I’m happy for them but it’s a fact my own kid is at a bit of a disadvantage when the competition is so much older.

It really is not a fair practice at all. My son is a late June birthday and really struggled more than he should have because of how many boys more than a year older than him really got all the opportunities. And this practice is not standard elsewhere. Only in this area that attracts all the nerdy wannabes and will do anything to give their kids a leg up. My son is at a very competitive university now and has many friends in his year who are even younger than him. Mostly from the Northeast and New England.

If your kid is going to be either youngest or oldest in their class, what would you pick?

I would pick oldest. I was a July birthday and was always the smallest and least mature kid in my class. I was bullied mercilessly until high school. I was thrilled when my son was born in February, making him at least average. He hasn't been ahead by any means, but he hasn't had any major problems either. I did notice the kids who were a bit older did better, though - it's clear that the expectations for Kindergarten have recently been developmentally aligned to match kids who are 6, and not 5. Or at least, teachers have begun to expect that, so many kids who are developmentally normal will struggle as a result.

Being older does not mean this would be any different.

Expectations are fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also for those saying it’s crazy to be annoyed, you likely are not impacted at all, Surely you can understand why it’s irritating to some people but not to you because it has zero impact on your child. People with kid spring birthdays who went on time or summer will notice it the most. I’m not anti red shirt but it is annoying to watch the older kids get some of the prime spots over your own kids for grade based activities. These are often my friends kids so I’m happy for them but it’s a fact my own kid is at a bit of a disadvantage when the competition is so much older.

It really is not a fair practice at all. My son is a late June birthday and really struggled more than he should have because of how many boys more than a year older than him really got all the opportunities. And this practice is not standard elsewhere. Only in this area that attracts all the nerdy wannabes and will do anything to give their kids a leg up. My son is at a very competitive university now and has many friends in his year who are even younger than him. Mostly from the Northeast and New England.

If your kid is going to be either youngest or oldest in their class, what would you pick?

DP here. I would rather my kid graduate HS and go to college when they turn 18, but that’s just my opinion. Other people feel differently.

So you would redshirt a September birthday. Otherwise they graduate highschool and go to college at 17.

My September birthday will turn 18 a few weeks after starting college. How is that an issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also for those saying it’s crazy to be annoyed, you likely are not impacted at all, Surely you can understand why it’s irritating to some people but not to you because it has zero impact on your child. People with kid spring birthdays who went on time or summer will notice it the most. I’m not anti red shirt but it is annoying to watch the older kids get some of the prime spots over your own kids for grade based activities. These are often my friends kids so I’m happy for them but it’s a fact my own kid is at a bit of a disadvantage when the competition is so much older.

It really is not a fair practice at all. My son is a late June birthday and really struggled more than he should have because of how many boys more than a year older than him really got all the opportunities. And this practice is not standard elsewhere. Only in this area that attracts all the nerdy wannabes and will do anything to give their kids a leg up. My son is at a very competitive university now and has many friends in his year who are even younger than him. Mostly from the Northeast and New England.

If your kid is going to be either youngest or oldest in their class, what would you pick?

DP here. I would rather my kid graduate HS and go to college when they turn 18, but that’s just my opinion. Other people feel differently.

So you would redshirt a September birthday. Otherwise they graduate highschool and go to college at 17.

My September birthday will turn 18 a few weeks after starting college. How is that an issue?

The poster I’m quoting said she would want her kid to graduate from high school and go to college at 18.
Obviously your child didn’t graduate from high school at 18.