Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course his comments are 'off'.

He just had his family and life obliterated in the most traumatic 30 minutes of his life in an incomprehensible way by the woman he loved. Nothing makes sense and it must seem so unreal that this happened. He just had left sitting by his dying baby's bedside for 3 days. On top of that he has the world watching and talking about them all and likely a thousand other things to deal with.

None of it makes sense. I am sure his emotions and thoughts are a washing machine and a blur right now. It is amazing he was even able to sit and write a well articulated article to tell the world about this family and to ask them not to add more pain and hate to his plate right now.

What is an 'on' comment given the situation?

Well I think it’s off that he commented publicly at all. That’s all fine for a eulogy I guess, but weird to share with the world. And like you said he had just come from watching his last child die. That was the the first thing he wanted to do? Write a public statement?

I know people who know them. First: Please don't judge. Who's to say what's "weird" in this situation? There's not a handbook. The reason he "shared with the world," I surmise (he actually shared with a GoFundMe page), is because the media attention has been enormous but, more to the point, because he's received a massive outpouring of support on GoFundMe, and he acknowledged it. Perhaps writing what he did was therapeutic.

Again, I'm unclear as to why anyone feels equipped or entitled to judge his response.

Can you have your people ask his people what he plans to do with his $1 million? Hopefully all for a mental health charity although I haven’t seen any indication of that.

He is not raising $1m. People are giving him money as a gesture, because they feel for him. Strangers feel for him.

Was his statement odd? Yes, but any statement after such a horror would be odd. Whatever he wanted to say, he can say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not have sympathy for her. She must have been acting normal or her husband wouldn’t have gone out for take out and left her alone with the kids. She had enough self control to act fine and wait until he left to then strangle her three children one by one, and at least one of them put up a big fight. This does not sound like an out of control psychotic break to me. It seems like premeditated murder after lying in wait. I also do not know how her husband is singing the praises of the person who strangled his children less than a week ago. On a go fund me to raise money for himself no less. There is more to this story.

It’s all very off, especially the comments from the husband.

It is like he is clinging to his facebook potrayal of life and writing off this as a momentary abberation in his picture perfect family.
Why even talk about her? About how they hugged every morning !?

Perhaps because his completely traumatized brain is struggling to process the horror?

How do you think you’d manage if your life changed on a dime?

By not waxing poetic about my child's killer.

Impressive hubris.

DP here. Every inner thought does not need to be shared publicly. It was a very odd statement. Especially when collecting a large sum of money...for what no one exactly knows.

The Tyre Nichols go fund me is at $1.2M - are you also concerned with what his parents will be doing with the money? If people want to donate, who cares what they do with the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not have sympathy for her. She must have been acting normal or her husband wouldn’t have gone out for take out and left her alone with the kids. She had enough self control to act fine and wait until he left to then strangle her three children one by one, and at least one of them put up a big fight. This does not sound like an out of control psychotic break to me. It seems like premeditated murder after lying in wait. I also do not know how her husband is singing the praises of the person who strangled his children less than a week ago. On a go fund me to raise money for himself no less. There is more to this story.

You clearly don’t understand serious mental illness and psychosis.

Further, you don’t even understand basic language used by law enforcement and EMS personnel. There is no evidence that any of the small children ‘put up a big fight’. When a body is described as having obvious signs of trauma, that means trauma to the body - strangulation marks would qualify. It doesn’t take a lot of force for very long to render a young child unconscious by neck compression - it is unlikely that any of the children had much opportunity to defend themselves or put up a big fight.

In my experience and training as a former prosecutor this case seems a classic example of post partum psychosis. It is not inconsistent for a mind to be in the throes of psychotic distress and yet still capable of knowing that the objective of killing and suicide can only be achieved when the other adult has departed the house. If you fail to grasp this concept then all you are exhibiting is your ignorance about how truly serious mental illness and psychosis works. Good for you, honestly. I wish I had never had occasion to know these things. Many of us who do the work of law enforcement and mental health work wish we didn’t know these things. It must be nice to still be in the bubble of ignorance that tells you there is good and evil and black and white and nobody ever behaves in ways they don’t specifically intend. If only the real world was such a simple place. But it is not, and your ignorance renders your comments useless in this discussion.

+1 how lucky these pps are to have never had a family member experience psychosis to truly understand how devastating it can be and how truly disconnected from reality one can be. She was not in her rational mind. This is an absolute tragedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are jealous about the money, it doesn't matter.

The question is if she should get the death penalty

Massachusetts does not have the death penalty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not have sympathy for her. She must have been acting normal or her husband wouldn’t have gone out for take out and left her alone with the kids. She had enough self control to act fine and wait until he left to then strangle her three children one by one, and at least one of them put up a big fight. This does not sound like an out of control psychotic break to me. It seems like premeditated murder after lying in wait. I also do not know how her husband is singing the praises of the person who strangled his children less than a week ago. On a go fund me to raise money for himself no less. There is more to this story.

Yes, there is.

You do not understand mental illness, apparently. You REALLY do not understand psychosis. You think a psychotic break happens all at once, in a splashy way that everyone can recognize for what it is? Sometimes, sure. I've worked with suicidal people for years, and they do not always look SAD, PP. They don't always look depressed. Sometimes when someone has made a decision to end their life, they look happy, calm, normal. They might look like a person who is totally capable of sitting on the couch watching TV while you step out to pick up takeout for half an hour. They don't always/often look like whatever kind of raving lunatic you think they're supposed to look like.

Deciding to end your own life in suicide is not really comparable to killing three kids. Who thinks that suicidal people are supposed to look like raving lunatics?

You are talking about the results of decisions. I am talking about the state of mind those decisions are being made in. You are assuming that this person was making conscious, intentional decisions with the understanding of the results those decisions would have.

What I am saying, as a person who has worked with people experiencing all different kinds of psychosis, including postpartum psychosis, is that they are not operating with the same reality-based instructions that you are. They are not in their right minds at all. Everything in your post assumes that this is a person who was intentionally doing the things she did, concealing her intentions from her husband. My point is that you have absolutely no idea what her experience of the psychosis was. She could have truly believed that she was saving her children. She could have truly believed that her husband was a threat. She could have truly believed she was being controlled by an external entity. That is what psychosis is. It's not a bad person waiting for a good person to go away so they can do bad stuff.

Reading this psych eval of Andrea Yates bright back so many memories of my own period of psychotic depression. https://murderpedia.org/female.Y/images/yates_andrea/report-dr-park-dietz.pdf It’s hard to explain to someone who’s never been through it. Your brain just believes crazy things. You “know” they’re true even if they are scary and unwanted and disturbing. Thankfully I got treatment and recovered. My heart breaks for people who do not get treated. I do not blame them. Psychosis is something that happens to you and you can’t fight it any more than you can fight a virus. It’s not something you do, it’s not “you” it’s something that invades you. Succumbing to psychosis is as tragic as being afflicted with cancer or any other disease. Please be compassionate and try to understand.

[Anonymous]

I think he should be required to spent it on his wife’s defense rather than stick the taxpayers with the bill. Since he’s now rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not have sympathy for her. She must have been acting normal or her husband wouldn’t have gone out for take out and left her alone with the kids. She had enough self control to act fine and wait until he left to then strangle her three children one by one, and at least one of them put up a big fight. This does not sound like an out of control psychotic break to me. It seems like premeditated murder after lying in wait. I also do not know how her husband is singing the praises of the person who strangled his children less than a week ago. On a go fund me to raise money for himself no less. There is more to this story.

It’s all very off, especially the comments from the husband.

It is like he is clinging to his facebook potrayal of life and writing off this as a momentary abberation in his picture perfect family.
Why even talk about her? About how they hugged every morning !?

Perhaps because his completely traumatized brain is struggling to process the horror?

How do you think you’d manage if your life changed on a dime?

By not waxing poetic about my child's killer.

Impressive hubris.

DP here. Every inner thought does not need to be shared publicly. It was a very odd statement. Especially when collecting a large sum of money...for what no one exactly knows.

His statement may be odd, but so is the thought that anyone knows exactly how they’d react to an unspeakable situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not have sympathy for her. She must have been acting normal or her husband wouldn’t have gone out for take out and left her alone with the kids. She had enough self control to act fine and wait until he left to then strangle her three children one by one, and at least one of them put up a big fight. This does not sound like an out of control psychotic break to me. It seems like premeditated murder after lying in wait. I also do not know how her husband is singing the praises of the person who strangled his children less than a week ago. On a go fund me to raise money for himself no less. There is more to this story.

It’s all very off, especially the comments from the husband.

It is like he is clinging to his facebook potrayal of life and writing off this as a momentary abberation in his picture perfect family.
Why even talk about her? About how they hugged every morning !?

Perhaps because his completely traumatized brain is struggling to process the horror?

How do you think you’d manage if your life changed on a dime?

By not waxing poetic about my child's killer.

Impressive hubris.

DP here. Every inner thought does not need to be shared publicly. It was a very odd statement. Especially when collecting a large sum of money...for what no one exactly knows.

His statement may be odd, but so is the thought that anyone knows exactly how they’d react to an unspeakable situation.

However I would react, I am 100% sure I’d do it privately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not have sympathy for her. She must have been acting normal or her husband wouldn’t have gone out for take out and left her alone with the kids. She had enough self control to act fine and wait until he left to then strangle her three children one by one, and at least one of them put up a big fight. This does not sound like an out of control psychotic break to me. It seems like premeditated murder after lying in wait. I also do not know how her husband is singing the praises of the person who strangled his children less than a week ago. On a go fund me to raise money for himself no less. There is more to this story.

It’s all very off, especially the comments from the husband.

It is like he is clinging to his facebook potrayal of life and writing off this as a momentary abberation in his picture perfect family.
Why even talk about her? About how they hugged every morning !?

Perhaps because his completely traumatized brain is struggling to process the horror?

How do you think you’d manage if your life changed on a dime?

By not waxing poetic about my child's killer.

Impressive hubris.

DP here. Every inner thought does not need to be shared publicly. It was a very odd statement. Especially when collecting a large sum of money...for what no one exactly knows.

His statement may be odd, but so is the thought that anyone knows exactly how they’d react to an unspeakable situation.

However I would react, I am 100% sure I’d do it privately.

You actually don’t know! That’s the thing about extreme levels of shock and trauma - it makes you do thing you were “100% sure” you would never do. How lucky you are to be so naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not have sympathy for her. She must have been acting normal or her husband wouldn’t have gone out for take out and left her alone with the kids. She had enough self control to act fine and wait until he left to then strangle her three children one by one, and at least one of them put up a big fight. This does not sound like an out of control psychotic break to me. It seems like premeditated murder after lying in wait. I also do not know how her husband is singing the praises of the person who strangled his children less than a week ago. On a go fund me to raise money for himself no less. There is more to this story.

It’s all very off, especially the comments from the husband.

It is like he is clinging to his facebook potrayal of life and writing off this as a momentary abberation in his picture perfect family.
Why even talk about her? About how they hugged every morning !?

Perhaps because his completely traumatized brain is struggling to process the horror?

How do you think you’d manage if your life changed on a dime?

By not waxing poetic about my child's killer.

Impressive hubris.

DP here. Every inner thought does not need to be shared publicly. It was a very odd statement. Especially when collecting a large sum of money...for what no one exactly knows.

His statement may be odd, but so is the thought that anyone knows exactly how they’d react to an unspeakable situation.

However I would react, I am 100% sure I’d do it privately.

You actually don’t know! That’s the thing about extreme levels of shock and trauma - it makes you do thing you were “100% sure” you would never do. How lucky you are to be so naive.

I’ve experience grief and trauma. You know nothing about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think he should be required to spent it on his wife’s defense rather than stick the taxpayers with the bill. Since he’s now rich.

I imagine the court would consider the funds in calculating her eligibility for a public defender, but in any case, the GoFundMe was initiated with this intent:

“This GoFundMe is intended to help Pat pay for medical bills, funeral services and legal help,” organizer Matthew Glaser wrote on the campaign, which had reached around $880,000 as of Monday morning.

So it seems that the 13,000 people who have donated to bring the total to nearly $900k are all well aware that they may be paying for Lindsay to have legal assistance that will facilitate justice in this case, rather than vengeance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not have sympathy for her. She must have been acting normal or her husband wouldn’t have gone out for take out and left her alone with the kids. She had enough self control to act fine and wait until he left to then strangle her three children one by one, and at least one of them put up a big fight. This does not sound like an out of control psychotic break to me. It seems like premeditated murder after lying in wait. I also do not know how her husband is singing the praises of the person who strangled his children less than a week ago. On a go fund me to raise money for himself no less. There is more to this story.

You clearly don’t understand serious mental illness and psychosis.

Further, you don’t even understand basic language used by law enforcement and EMS personnel. There is no evidence that any of the small children ‘put up a big fight’. When a body is described as having obvious signs of trauma, that means trauma to the body - strangulation marks would qualify. It doesn’t take a lot of force for very long to render a young child unconscious by neck compression - it is unlikely that any of the children had much opportunity to defend themselves or put up a big fight.

In my experience and training as a former prosecutor this case seems a classic example of post partum psychosis. It is not inconsistent for a mind to be in the throes of psychotic distress and yet still capable of knowing that the objective of killing and suicide can only be achieved when the other adult has departed the house. If you fail to grasp this concept then all you are exhibiting is your ignorance about how truly serious mental illness and psychosis works. Good for you, honestly. I wish I had never had occasion to know these things. Many of us who do the work of law enforcement and mental health work wish we didn’t know these things. It must be nice to still be in the bubble of ignorance that tells you there is good and evil and black and white and nobody ever behaves in ways they don’t specifically intend. If only the real world was such a simple place. But it is not, and your ignorance renders your comments useless in this discussion.

+1 how lucky these pps are to have never had a family member experience psychosis to truly understand how devastating it can be and how truly disconnected from reality one can be. She was not in her rational mind. This is an absolute tragedy.

Her state of mind has not been established. This isn't a Clancy Stan page. People are allowed to question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not have sympathy for her. She must have been acting normal or her husband wouldn’t have gone out for take out and left her alone with the kids. She had enough self control to act fine and wait until he left to then strangle her three children one by one, and at least one of them put up a big fight. This does not sound like an out of control psychotic break to me. It seems like premeditated murder after lying in wait. I also do not know how her husband is singing the praises of the person who strangled his children less than a week ago. On a go fund me to raise money for himself no less. There is more to this story.

You clearly don’t understand serious mental illness and psychosis.

Further, you don’t even understand basic language used by law enforcement and EMS personnel. There is no evidence that any of the small children ‘put up a big fight’. When a body is described as having obvious signs of trauma, that means trauma to the body - strangulation marks would qualify. It doesn’t take a lot of force for very long to render a young child unconscious by neck compression - it is unlikely that any of the children had much opportunity to defend themselves or put up a big fight.

In my experience and training as a former prosecutor this case seems a classic example of post partum psychosis. It is not inconsistent for a mind to be in the throes of psychotic distress and yet still capable of knowing that the objective of killing and suicide can only be achieved when the other adult has departed the house. If you fail to grasp this concept then all you are exhibiting is your ignorance about how truly serious mental illness and psychosis works. Good for you, honestly. I wish I had never had occasion to know these things. Many of us who do the work of law enforcement and mental health work wish we didn’t know these things. It must be nice to still be in the bubble of ignorance that tells you there is good and evil and black and white and nobody ever behaves in ways they don’t specifically intend. If only the real world was such a simple place. But it is not, and your ignorance renders your comments useless in this discussion.

Strangling a child much less 3 is not easily accomplished. Fighting for life is innate and toddlers will fight you in not life or death situations. Ever try to give a toddler who doesn't want medication some medicine? Ever try to give a shot to a toddler?

I'm sure it's easier for you to think those kids didn't suffer didn't feel any pain or fear and they essentially just went to sleep.
I'm sure it's easier for you to think she truly has no idea what she was doing.

But that's not reality

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course his comments are 'off'.

He just had his family and life obliterated in the most traumatic 30 minutes of his life in an incomprehensible way by the woman he loved. Nothing makes sense and it must seem so unreal that this happened. He just had left sitting by his dying baby's bedside for 3 days. On top of that he has the world watching and talking about them all and likely a thousand other things to deal with.

None of it makes sense. I am sure his emotions and thoughts are a washing machine and a blur right now. It is amazing he was even able to sit and write a well articulated article to tell the world about this family and to ask them not to add more pain and hate to his plate right now.

What is an 'on' comment given the situation?

Well I think it’s off that he commented publicly at all. That’s all fine for a eulogy I guess, but weird to share with the world. And like you said he had just come from watching his last child die. That was the the first thing he wanted to do? Write a public statement?

I know people who know them. First: Please don't judge. Who's to say what's "weird" in this situation? There's not a handbook. The reason he "shared with the world," I surmise (he actually shared with a GoFundMe page), is because the media attention has been enormous but, more to the point, because he's received a massive outpouring of support on GoFundMe, and he acknowledged it. Perhaps writing what he did was therapeutic.

Again, I'm unclear as to why anyone feels equipped or entitled to judge his response.

Can you have your people ask his people what he plans to do with his $1 million? Hopefully all for a mental health charity although I haven’t seen any indication of that.

You seem very angry and cynical. I'm sure it will be put to proper use, and I doubt he'll be able to work for quite some time. You also do know that he didn't start the fundraiser personally, right?

Np here.

I personally don't care about the money. But I do understand the skepticism. I mean we have seen many times where a tragedy is actually sinister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not have sympathy for her. She must have been acting normal or her husband wouldn’t have gone out for take out and left her alone with the kids. She had enough self control to act fine and wait until he left to then strangle her three children one by one, and at least one of them put up a big fight. This does not sound like an out of control psychotic break to me. It seems like premeditated murder after lying in wait. I also do not know how her husband is singing the praises of the person who strangled his children less than a week ago. On a go fund me to raise money for himself no less. There is more to this story.

It’s all very off, especially the comments from the husband.

It is like he is clinging to his facebook potrayal of life and writing off this as a momentary abberation in his picture perfect family.
Why even talk about her? About how they hugged every morning !?

I haven't read his comments, but my guess, as a social worker who has worked with a lot of psychosis, is that it WAS a momentary aberration in his perfect family. I have seen nothing to indicate otherwise. His statement doesn't sound like anything other than a traumatized and grieving person.

True. He's likely on the verge of his own mental break