What is with DCUM women and "mental loads?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not new, and it's not exclusive to DCUM. Who in your household keeps track of birthdays, doctors appointments, clothing sizes, early dismissals, permission slips, camp signups, holiday cards, and meal planning? Does that person also have a paid job?

Honestly, my DH. He does a lot of the kid leg work. And I do pretty much all the cleaning and yard work. We take on the tasks we are best suited for personality wise. But I think most hetero marriages do fall into a pattern where the wife does almost everything related to childcare, logistics and home. Marriage is kind of a raw deal for women…lots of research on this and married women with kids are the least happy demographic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not new, and it's not exclusive to DCUM. Who in your household keeps track of birthdays, doctors appointments, clothing sizes, early dismissals, permission slips, camp signups, holiday cards, and meal planning? Does that person also have a paid job?

Honestly, my DH. He does a lot of the kid leg work. And I do pretty much all the cleaning and yard work. We take on the tasks we are best suited for personality wise. But I think most hetero marriages do fall into a pattern where the wife does almost everything related to childcare, logistics and home. Marriage is kind of a raw deal for women…lots of research on this and married women with kids are the least happy demographic.

It's a raw deal for women who choose to marry assholes/children. You can usually tell before they even get married, but the women ignore all the signs and fawn over these men.

Marriage is a good deal for me and my relatives who either made sure we married adults or set the expectations straight in the first few years. It took my aunt 6 rough years of standing up for herself before her husband finally got it. Now other women in the family think he is the best man in the world. That's because she never lowered the expectations and kept fighting.

Others choose to whine about issues that existed even before they married their spouses. If they spent the energy they used to plan lavish weddings/ engagement parties on taking a moment to figure out how the marriage was going to run, things would be very different.