Is it reasonable to ask a newlywed couple to go out for drinks in the evening after their wedding?

[Anonymous]

+1 to Zoom happy hour beforehand, and brunch the next day (be willing to share time with other close family members on the brunch).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had an after party after our wedding for the younger crew. Dh and I weren’t virgins though and were interested in seeing our friends. We still had an amazing wedding night. We also met everyone for a large brunch the next morning.

This is normal and acceptable. It might even be acceptable for all of the siblings to go out together, but to be obligated to go out with one sister is weird. And especially if literally everyone presumes the couple will be having sex the first time on their wedding night.

Just no.

[Anonymous]

Having sex for the first time on your wedding night sounds like it would suck anyway so how bad can one drink be. How does the wedding reception end at 8? Is it dinner but then no dancing?

[Anonymous]

I can't even imagine someone would consider this. You meet for family brunch the next day.

[Anonymous]

Just FYI, Dh and I are from orthodox jewish families and were supposed to both be virgins on our wedding night. Neither of us were. Not only that, we've both had sex with other people (prior to dating).

To answer your question, it's probably the height of rudeness, unless these are the kinds of people getting married at the local rotary club in town and there might be people at the wedding who are in overalls.

[Anonymous]

Not sure how this is any of your business OP. You are not the couple and you are not the sister. This is between them. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha, this is what we did after our wedding! It was fun and we still had plenty of energy for sex later.

I can think of a couple of other wedding people who did the same this is also up in Massachusetts so maybe a cultural difference.

She can ask but don't throw a fit if they decline.

Personally I would be irritated if somebody even asked. I know some people think it’s okay to ask for anything and it is on the one being asked to say no and not be bothered about it, but a lot of people don’t like being put in the position of having to say no to something.

Hinting, however, is a different story.

Dh and I aren't easily irritated people who look to be offended so it's probably why it wasn't a big deal for us.

I’m not easily irritated either, and there is a difference between irritated and offended. But this is in my opinion an over the top ask and judging from these comments, it would be a safe bet that it’s best not to ask at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha, this is what we did after our wedding! It was fun and we still had plenty of energy for sex later.

I can think of a couple of other wedding people who did the same this is also up in Massachusetts so maybe a cultural difference.

She can ask but don't throw a fit if they decline.

Personally I would be irritated if somebody even asked. I know some people think it’s okay to ask for anything and it is on the one being asked to say no and not be bothered about it, but a lot of people don’t like being put in the position of having to say no to something.

Hinting, however, is a different story.

Dh and I aren't easily irritated people who look to be offended so it's probably why it wasn't a big deal for us.

I’m not easily irritated either, and there is a difference between irritated and offended. But this is in my opinion an over the top ask and judging from these comments, it would be a safe bet that it’s best not to ask at all.

Yeah DCUM tends to be a bit snobby. It's not a big deal, for most normal people off od DCUM and as pp pointed out it's actually none of OP's business.

[Anonymous]

We had a lunch reception and were still worn out by the early evening. Other couples we knew who had night time reception were really exhausted by the end of it. It's too much to ask.

[Anonymous]

She can ask and look like a fool. The couple should have the good sense to decline such a self-centered request.

If the couple can't set boundaries ... they have a horrible married life ahead of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had an after party after our wedding for the younger crew. Dh and I weren’t virgins though and were interested in seeing our friends. We still had an amazing wedding night. We also met everyone for a large brunch the next morning.

We did this, too, but it wasn't for family, it was to party with distant friends, and it was initiated by us. Many couples also have a brunch the next day for family.
This is not an appropriate ask.

[Anonymous]

a lot of people don’t like being put in the position of having to say no to something

To anything

Almost all "problems" on DCUM are weenies who would rather be offended that a question is asked rather than actually speak the word, "no". But in this case, it's a really, really weird request. Again, no reason anyone should be offended. But it's really odd and will be remembered as odd.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

No, that is rude.

Also, to me, it's contrived in a way. I'm sure they've been dating at least a few months, maybe a year? Any this person hasn't seen their sibling or met their fiancee in that whole time? Are they even close? Will they even come in contact again for years/months after the wedding? WHy does the sister have to "get to know" her new sister in law?

[Anonymous]

Sister: Would you want to have drinks after the wedding?
Brother/Bride: Let's do brunch the next day!
Sister: I need to fly out.
Brother/Bride: Oh, bummer. Well, let's plan on something next time we can all be in the same town!