Out of town friends (family of 6) want to visit. No room. Rude to suggest hotel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents in guest room and kids in sleeping bags on floor of family room. There…problem solved.

Nope. I would not be giving up my room. If you are a family of 6 I would hope you had enough sense and Grace to SUGGEST STAYING AT A HOTEL.
UnLess you i’m going to visit Jay and Bey you know darn well your friends don’t have enough room for all of you.
And as a grown woman goodness knows I don’t want to sleep in anyone else’s bedroom or on a couch or anything else if I’m a family of six I need to keep my a** at home if we cannot afford a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Heck no!
Can you come up with a white lie? Second bathroom needs some plumbing work done (and with the pandemic, you just know how hard it is to get a contractor out) and your family is sharing the master bath?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

Are they really COMING TO VISIT YOU?

It sounds like they are coming to "your house as their free hotel" and visit your amenities. I have a larger house and would not host a family of six who I did not extend the invitation to. Nope.

OP here. This. Now how do I address it kindly?

Barb and Al, we would love to see you. Fortunately, we don’t have the room to host you at our house but I can suggest 1, 2 and 3.
( BIG SMILE OR SMILE EMOJI)
Quite frankly I would not be worried about offending people who didn’t have since enough to get their own hotel and act the way you described.

[Anonymous]

People. Grow a spine. No need for white lies, sugar coats, whatnot. Just be firm and direct.

OP, I'm with your H on this one. These "friends" are terrible parents and house guests. They lack basic courtesy and sense. I would never, ever, allow them to stay over in my house again after all the damage they did the last time.

Why were you not more offended by their actions than your fear of offending them? Ask yourself that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

Are they really COMING TO VISIT YOU?

It sounds like they are coming to "your house as their free hotel" and visit your amenities. I have a larger house and would not host a family of six who I did not extend the invitation to. Nope.

OP here. This. Now how do I address it kindly?

Barb and Al, we would love to see you. Fortunately, we don’t have the room to host you at our house but I can suggest 1, 2 and 3.
( BIG SMILE OR SMILE EMOJI)
Quite frankly I would not be worried about offending people who didn’t have since enough to get their own hotel and act the way you described.

The emoji comes off as passive aggressive to me which makes me conclude really OP should just call.

[Anonymous]

How long of a visit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For how long? How many bathrooms? Have they stayed before and did they generally seem to understand boundaries?

We are in a different house (smaller now). Not good with boundaries, kids do what they want, don't help. Parents drink. They think we are rich and make themselves at home.

Haha, these are DH friends I see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

Are they really COMING TO VISIT YOU?

It sounds like they are coming to "your house as their free hotel" and visit your amenities. I have a larger house and would not host a family of six who I did not extend the invitation to. Nope.

OP here. This. Now how do I address it kindly?

As you might not know, we downsized and just don't have the room.

While we'd be happy to host JUST YOU AND DH AT ANOTHER TIME, for now with the whole family, we just simply can't.

(I am sorry?)

I have some nearby hotel / AirBNB suggestions if you'd like....we can definitely plan on getting together at the pool and dinners etc.

good luck OP!

[Anonymous]

Say you would be happy to have them over for some outdoor BBQ's, but you are not able to host the entire family for the duration of their holiday anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

Are they really COMING TO VISIT YOU?

It sounds like they are coming to "your house as their free hotel" and visit your amenities. I have a larger house and would not host a family of six who I did not extend the invitation to. Nope.

OP here. This. Now how do I address it kindly?

As you might not know, we downsized and just don't have the room.

While we'd be happy to host JUST YOU AND DH AT ANOTHER TIME, for now with the whole family, we just simply can't.

(I am sorry?)

I have some nearby hotel / AirBNB suggestions if you'd like....we can definitely plan on getting together at the pool and dinners etc.

good luck OP!

Op here. I like this. Their youngest is their only girl and our DD age. How can we have parents and their DD visit? Probably can’t exclude the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents in guest room and kids in sleeping bags on floor of family room. There…problem solved.

No, not if the household are night owls or early risers and don’t want to tiptoe…or worse, noisy teens up super late disturbing the peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

Are they really COMING TO VISIT YOU?

It sounds like they are coming to "your house as their free hotel" and visit your amenities. I have a larger house and would not host a family of six who I did not extend the invitation to. Nope.

OP here. This. Now how do I address it kindly?

Barb and Al, we would love to see you. Fortunately, we don’t have the room to host you at our house but I can suggest 1, 2 and 3.
( BIG SMILE OR SMILE EMOJI)
Quite frankly I would not be worried about offending people who didn’t have since enough to get their own hotel and act the way you described.

The emoji comes off as passive aggressive to me which makes me conclude really OP should just call.

Big smile was in reference to a call
Emoji if she texted or emailed

[Anonymous]

“I’m excited to hear you’re planning to come. Sadly our new place doesn’t have the room for all of you overnight but DH’s remote work makes it hard to host these days anyway. We would like to do some meals here though and I’ve checked and you’re all able to use our name to buy guest passes at the pool.”

[Anonymous]

Why are they your friends?? And why are they so cheap that they need to use you for your community pool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

Are they really COMING TO VISIT YOU?

It sounds like they are coming to "your house as their free hotel" and visit your amenities. I have a larger house and would not host a family of six who I did not extend the invitation to. Nope.

OP here. This. Now how do I address it kindly?

As you might not know, we downsized and just don't have the room.

While we'd be happy to host JUST YOU AND DH AT ANOTHER TIME, for now with the whole family, we just simply can't.

(I am sorry?)

I have some nearby hotel / AirBNB suggestions if you'd like....we can definitely plan on getting together at the pool and dinners etc.

good luck OP!

Op here. I like this. Their youngest is their only girl and our DD age. How can we have parents and their DD visit? Probably can’t exclude the kids.

You can't. If they were to say that they were planning on coming to DC with just their daughter (because the teens were at camp, or staying with friends, or whatever), fine. But you can't suggest that they ditch some of their kids to visit you.