What behavior caused you to spank?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I'm really proud of myself for never spanking. I grew up getting hit by both parents, and grew up afraid of my father, and inherited his rage issues. And I worked (and still work) really hard at not taking rage out on my children.

I have screamed harshly enough that I've hurt my throat for two days, a few times (once was for running into a busy parking lot with a lot of blind spots) because she was angry at me. I've grabbed arms a few times. But I've never spanked any of my kids.

Lol. The kind of behavior you’re describing has zero moral high ground over spanking.

[Anonymous]

I don’t spank my kids. Never say that their behavior causes me to do anything either. I’m the parent, I am responsible for disciplining in a thoughtful and effective way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I'm really proud of myself for never spanking. I grew up getting hit by both parents, and grew up afraid of my father, and inherited his rage issues. And I worked (and still work) really hard at not taking rage out on my children.

I have screamed harshly enough that I've hurt my throat for two days, a few times (once was for running into a busy parking lot with a lot of blind spots) because she was angry at me. I've grabbed arms a few times. But I've never spanked any of my kids.

Lol. The kind of behavior you’re describing has zero moral high ground over spanking.

I disagree. Imagine if they hit the kids....it would be brutal. The yelling and arm grabbing are abusive, btw.

[Anonymous]

The first time I spanked was after my oldest, then 3, had three times pushed his infant sister back from a seated position so she hit her head on the floor, for his own amusement. Timeouts and talking about being gentle hadn’t worked.

I said “this time you’re going to get spanked for doing that. You’ll be spanked now, and if you do it again. This is what it means to get spanked,” and I pulled his pants down, put him across my lap, and spanked him maybe five times.

It certainly wasn’t the last time I spanked, but it was the last time he committed that offense.

[Anonymous]

Daughter wandered away from home. Had trouble locating her. She never did it again.

[Anonymous]

I don't hit people, including my own child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The first time I spanked was after my oldest, then 3, had three times pushed his infant sister back from a seated position so she hit her head on the floor, for his own amusement. Timeouts and talking about being gentle hadn’t worked.

I said “this time you’re going to get spanked for doing that. You’ll be spanked now, and if you do it again. This is what it means to get spanked,” and I pulled his pants down, put him across my lap, and spanked him maybe five times.

It certainly wasn’t the last time I spanked, but it was the last time he committed that offense.

This is exactly why I have an issue with parents who spank. Where were you? Why weren’t you making sure your infant was in a safe place and your 3 year old was engaged elsewhere? Putting the responsibility for a three year old to know what their actions mean in this case doesn’t make sense. You reached the end of your capacity as a parent and that’s why you spanked. I had an infant and three year old and never remotely had to deal with this situation because infant was not left unattended with older child and older child was engaged in an appropriate activity.

[Anonymous]

Spanking is never ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The first time I spanked was after my oldest, then 3, had three times pushed his infant sister back from a seated position so she hit her head on the floor, for his own amusement. Timeouts and talking about being gentle hadn’t worked.

I said “this time you’re going to get spanked for doing that. You’ll be spanked now, and if you do it again. This is what it means to get spanked,” and I pulled his pants down, put him across my lap, and spanked him maybe five times.

It certainly wasn’t the last time I spanked, but it was the last time he committed that offense.

This is exactly why I have an issue with parents who spank. Where were you? Why weren’t you making sure your infant was in a safe place and your 3 year old was engaged elsewhere? Putting the responsibility for a three year old to know what their actions mean in this case doesn’t make sense. You reached the end of your capacity as a parent and that’s why you spanked. I had an infant and three year old and never remotely had to deal with this situation because infant was not left unattended with older child and older child was engaged in an appropriate activity.

Wow. Just...wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older child bit the younger child. One hard whack with the belt on the behind sent a strong and clear message to the brain: that is completely wrong. After the spanking, biting never happened again. I would say a spanking is as effective as 500 time outs with whining & pleading to be a good child and behave.

Whack! It works, has worked for thousands of years to correct a child. I have actually had people come up to me and marvel how well behaved my children are. I joke and tell them they are afraid of getting beaten half to death so they know to behave.

I really hope this is a joke.

[Anonymous]

Spanking is the easy way out. And I admitI have taken the easy way out when I was frustrated with my special needs child with ID and mild behavior issues. I know, sad, right! I only spanked my typical child once and to this day he remembers it. My husband and I have really worked on this over the years ( he’s 14 but looks 8) and we are constantly having to walk out of the room to wait for him to calm down ( and us too!) so we can effectively discipline him ( that is teach him) without hitting him. We also have an aide who’s been with us to help us and give us a break. And before everyone gets all holy on me, I never realized how a special needs child would push my buttons but learning to parent better and taking advantage of outside resources has helped so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never did it but I do not think a one time thing is abusive or life altering. I do think in most cases, spanking is more about a parent losing personal control and that is to be avoided. I feel the same way about really screaming at a kid (not just yelling) but in their face screaming.

I'm the pp who spanked for running into the road. I never, ever lose control. Even that spanking was controlled and dispassionate. I was in a store the other day and a mom just kept screaming at a 3 year old and slapping her hands in the shopping cart. The little girl was crying and it made me cry too. Such abuse. She was just really bullying that little girl. Some people shouldn't have kids.

Ah yes, the controlled and dispassionate spanker. It’s so much better when the kid is being hit by someone who appears to have no emotions about it.

[Anonymous]

I've swatted my son's butt/upper thigh area once or twice here or there when he wouldn't stop doing something after being asked repeatedly. Just hard enough to sting but not really hurt him. Not proud of it, but that's the farthest extent I would go as far as spanking.

I agree that's its counterproductive because we're trying to teach them that hitting is bad. So I have only done it sparingly in the heat of the moment. Trying to be better.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why I would cause physical pain to a child because I wasn’t willing to teach them to behave? At that point I would just not have children? Because things like biting, traffic, grabbing knives are all behaviors parents teach children not to do all the time, all over the world, without hitting them. Hitting them would just mean I was a failure and that hardly seems the fault of a child.

[Anonymous]

For running into the road. It worked.