I don't want to organize a team gift for my son's coach

[Anonymous]

At some point we should remember that youth sports should be about the kids. Why is the paid coach important?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:but I am the team manager, so I feel like I have to. I am super frustrated with my son's coach. My son didn't play well in the last game (his knee was hurting beforehand, I should have let him stay home, and that is my fault). The coach started screaming at my son in the parking lot after the game and told him that he would never amount to anything as a soccer player if he couldn't push through a managable amount of pain. If he had just said it, I would have probably been ok with it, but his voice was raised and he was yelling. My son just turned 11, and I feel like this was crazy behavior (we are a low-level travel team, for background).

Would you organize a team gift under these circumstances?

Hmm, I am a coach and did something similar on my team. No yelling, but perhaps the kid felt that way. Not about pain, but other aspects of his play that were deficient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't bother with the group email. I would just not do it. Why does that fall to you?

Because it’s the team manager’s job.

I am not sure if I think OP should or shouldn’t, I’d need more details, but in general if you want the advantages of being team manager you do the job of team manager.

People give coach gifts in TRABEL? The coach is paid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:but I am the team manager, so I feel like I have to. I am super frustrated with my son's coach. My son didn't play well in the last game (his knee was hurting beforehand, I should have let him stay home, and that is my fault). The coach started screaming at my son in the parking lot after the game and told him that he would never amount to anything as a soccer player if he couldn't push through a managable amount of pain. If he had just said it, I would have probably been ok with it, but his voice was raised and he was yelling. My son just turned 11, and I feel like this was crazy behavior (we are a low-level travel team, for background).

Would you organize a team gift under these circumstances?

Hmm, I am a coach and did something similar on my team. No yelling, but perhaps the kid felt that way. Not about pain, but other aspects of his play that were deficient.

You yelled criticism at a 10 year old in a parking lot after a game today?

[Anonymous]

Let parents give individual gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has done the crappy job of team manager for years (wish someone else would!) and it never occurred to him to do a gift. I’ve never heard of it for paid coaches.
But if you’ve done it in past years and people are expecting it, I think it’s polite to send an email just saying you can’t coordinate anything this year but if anyone else wants to, they should feel free. I wouldn’t mention individual gifts because then people might think that’s expected.

Ding! Ding! Ding! When a man is the team manager, no team gift. Why do women create more work for themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a team manager because the club asked me to manage; there are no “advantages” and I’d gladly give the job to anyone else who would take it; it’s really just administrative hassle.

I’m not organizing a gift for the coach, not because I’m against it, but because I’ve got enough on my plate. Surely one of the soccer moms can organize that if they care to do so.

It cracks me up the parents who think that being the team manager is some desired position with perks. I’m a parent just like you — so if you want to organize a gift for the coach, be my guest.

For most of this year, the team manager got to watch, when practice and games were closed to other parents.

They also get more access to the coach, and many of try to use it to get things like more playing time.

What? LOL. I’ve been the team manager for 3 years and I'm shocked to find out I should have been getting perks. I have not watched a practice in years aside from the first practice of the season for the parents’ meeting. And that didn’t change in COVID. I also had the same game access as the other families, 2 supporters per player. And, yes, I had more access to the coach because our schedules and uniforms and fields changed frequently so we did a lot of texting and some last minute 2 second phone calls.

Another parent organized the coaches’ gifts and I really appreciated it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t remember giving a gift to a paid coach for any of my kid’s teams (as a group or individually) and I’ve been around the block - multiple kids and clubs over many years.

Cheapskate

[Anonymous]

You always give the gift. Its the right thing to do period. Your teaching your kids and you were probably taught to be cheap. Stop being so stingy If you really cant afford a few dollars at least have your kid write a personal Thank you card. Teach your kids to be good people regardless of a conflict that happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Recommend you ask someone else on the tram to arrange the gift. Others may not have an issue with the coach. That’s what I am doing as a manager as I don’t want to organize for our coach.

+1 Have someone else do it and find your son a new team. That’s ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Coach here: I’m sure plenty of coaches appreciate gifts but save your money. Specifically because of this year, but I’d rather you support your community than giving me more money. If anything, the best gift is a nice picture of the team and words from the players.

[Anonymous]

Managers are supposed to organize gifts for paid coaches?!?! Huh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Managers are supposed to organize gifts for paid coaches?!?! Huh.

Ok what is your list of managers supposed to do's

[Anonymous]

I'd give this coach the gift of a bruised shin for chewing your son out. WTF is wrong with people? It's kids' sports!

[Anonymous]

Is your son returning to the team? Not that impacts my response on whether you should coordinate a gift but it impacts my feeling on how much you really care about what the coach did. My child would have (and has been) removed from that scenario and the coach would have heard from me - a 10 year old does not deserve that.